₦airaland Forum

Op nice post. Good insight. I agree wit ur point but the thing is its ladies dat push for marriages more. Most men want to b settled before thinking of such but there partners wont agree.. Anyways every body knows wat best for dem and as for d feminist thing. I got no ish wit it or gender equality. A woman should be able to have equal rights in every aspect of life but in marriage d man will remsin d head. Peace

I can definately say dis most peeps on dis thread have cheated or have been cheated upon. And some of u forgave who cheated onbu and continued d relationship. Lets b truthful and not hide behind a facade. Why then did u forgive him/her if it was a choice from d person to cheat. My ans is dis d firat time is a mistake but after dat its a choice.

My God. Wen i read some of u comments i just wander d kind of hypocrites u are. Anyways op i applaud ur courage. U onr of d real men out dere dat dont use a past to judge. God bless u. See i will tell u dis. Explain to her how her not improving and all d things dat she is doing is upsetting u. B emotional and compassionate wen talking to her. Let her see how much pains u in. After dat if she doesnt improve bro den i advise u too leave. U a good man u will love again. But try for one last time if no improvement den leave

The truth is u can neva know wat u can do unless u in such situation and dats d truth.

Boss have seen it and am touched. U have every right to do wat u did. We need to talk. U a strong man

jumiasalesguy3:
When next you meet another assumed perfect guy. Tell him I don't want your money and I am not ready for sex. I just want to form a bond and be a friend. Please mean this words when you say them. Sex and relationship go hand in hand. Will be happy if your man isn't moved by your presence no erection nothing even when you are naked. Nigeria girls should understand that RELATIONSHIP is almost impossible without sex or sexual advances. Nigerian guys please learn to come out blunt and stop giving all of us bad names.
When I invite a girl over I make it clear sex will be involve, if she says she doesn't want then we end it or meet in open places. Don't go testing your 'control meter' just to impress the lady. Even if she enjoys the sex after you persuaded her into it , she will still place the blame on you and label you all sort of names. With my bluntness I get enough sex with no bad labels.

bros ur wisdom is 10/10 u b lord. Dis summarises everything.

U are hailing our men timewilltel2 wen all of u are complilaining dat nigerian men dont spend as before and are now stingy

Timewilltell2:
Lol, liberal ? More like slaves and hoes. Stop talking to me, lazy goat who has adopted a culture of laziness and immasculity. Imagine this fool bragging about being controlled by a woman? Is that one a man .. Good thing you didn't marry a classy naija girl who knows her worth, you would have ruined her life. Nonsense.

pls if its dat 80percent of naija girls are runs girls so who are d hoes. Madam pls dat means british ladies are hoes and slaves cos they work alot same as american ladies baaa

bukatyne:
Maybe you shouldn't wait until she has gone through a lot from you before treating her like a queen.

Maybe you should treat her like you would want to be treated in the first place so she doesn't have to suffer or endure anything.

Maybe she would be rather treated with respect than treated as a queen as a reward for suffering.

i understand wat u saying and my wife wont suffer. But she is saying d truth most men hurt dere wives knowingly or unknowingly i can boldly tell u 85percent of married men in nigeria have side chicks and u know its d truth. She is just saying how a marriage is. There are times u will get hurt no matter how gud d man is. It might not b by cheating it might b something else

@timewilltel2 And i hate it wen u use a few people to judge d rest. Will u tell me dat man in south africa is working or dere is no man dere taking care of his family needs, or all south africans hate nigerians? See stop using some set of bad people to judge everybody. Even in nigeria ibos dont like hausa and viceversa but we know its not all ibos. Or for example in some families u will b told not to marry from a specific tribe. Are u telling me everybody from dat tribe is now bad. Pls stop judging a whole country based on somebpe

bukatyne:
@Bold:

Which is the 'hallmark' of a great marriage.

Is there anything wrong with teaching men to do right by their women?

For me, I do not see marriage has a 'suffering ground'.

Yes, your spouse would hurt you, sometimes it feels like you are carrying most of the weight, you have to be selfless etc. however not a man would damage you, you can't never win bla bla bla.

Of course, a good number of men are conditioned to let women suffer/ see suffering as the hallmark of a good wifehood so it is only right they reward their slaves accordingly.

dats why in my statement i said a woman like dat i will treat as a queen

bukatyne:
She has some really good points especially on SM, comparing/competing with friends

Ditto with in-laws/husband's friends not your friends and extreme importance of communication. I like the 'don't assume anything' part.

However, she sounds like the average endurance crew with suffering suffering.

Marriage is not for the selfish sha.

And scary how all the guys are happy with the advice because it teaches women to put up wit their shit.

dont get me wrong all her points are good and a sensible will treat such lady as a queen and spoil her silly but ur fellow lady i dont know wat her problem wit SA women even during or parents times we shouldnt lie our mothers took a lot of pooo

Timewilltell2:
You must be a low life to compare SA women to naija girls. Disgusting how dare you .

am not comparing am saying in every country they have good and bad women and like i said u dont have to insult someone if they dont agree wit ur point. So why sending insults madam. Everyone has a choice. Even they are some SA women better dan ours and dere are nigerian women beta dan deres too.

Timewilltell2:
Go to that slave country then , and mine stupid hungry diseased lesbians like the ones here on nairaland giving silly advises like this fool.

i dont need to go anywhere cos we have good women like her in nigeria though am also open minded. And see just cos someone doesnt agree wit ur point u will now be insulting dem dats bad. Everyone have a right to choose wat they want seriously. And i see u have a problem wit southafricans

Timewilltell2:
Hiv slave lover spotted .

thank u and i appreciate it. If dat woman really acts on her advise i will marry her anyday anytime just as helpsystem said. Now all she said in summary is dis marriage aint perfect but u shd love ur husband and kids wit everything. They will hurt u definitely get u angry and all but be calm and take things easy and neva compare ur marriage wit ur friends. Now any sensible guy dat has such a lady will treat her as a queen and if dat make me a hiv lover or wateva u call me, i gladly accept it. But madam every marriage even urs will undergo trial. Its a must. Even our parents marriages have dere challenges and dat wat dis young lady is pointing out. U go girl.

Timewilltell2:
She is a slave of a wife and a damaged one at that according to her. No more needs to be said.

generally speaking most men hurt their wives and i dont mean physical hurt. And she aint no slave she is taking care of her husband

Timewilltell2:
She is a SA, that right there tells you how stupid the whole thread is. Who takes junkies seriously ,?

if dats how u feel fine but note she aint wrong abt everything she said. So pls bring out a place in statement dat she got it wrong.

Good day, i want to ask if i can see a bus from oshodi to ilorin. And if yes where in oshodi. Thank u

Good day peeps pls need assistsnce. Can i see bus from oshodi to ilorin and if yes where in oshodi

I believe its d men from d south dat u have met ooo. cos I know they are strong powerful southern men

Speakdatruth:
This is like the 10th comment saying "something is bothering her" is something wrong with all of you?

WTH is bothering a woman that has chosen to neglect her marital duties? WTH is wrong with a woman that's about to push her man out of the home? WTH is wrong with a woman that's not using her sense and obviously handling a sensitive situation the wrong way?

That's so weak a reason. You don't pass any message to your husband by denying him sex, that's outrightly unaccepted in marriage and to think everyone of you girls is saying the same thing shows you've not enter the institute or perhaps you've not learnt enough.

GOD will forever bless u. U deserve a carton of Beer

CorGier:
Hey enough of that nonsense all of you. The onus ain't on him to fix her. Funny enough sex is one of the motivating factors why most of you ímbeciles choose to put a ring on it in the first place, and what do we have here? An entitled bítch not only denying him his matrimonial rights but shaming him in the process.
These are the same lot who con men into walking them down the aisle should they want full unrestricted access to the puss.
If it's the general norm for women to loose interest in sex as they approach menopause or something, what plans has she put in place to ensure his sexual needs are met? Who else is he supposed to run to if not her?

I hate this.

These are two people who should have bonded by now, nothing else in the world should matter to them than their collective happiness.
Like really why do we even bother, I mean what's the point of all this marriage nonsense if after ten whole years of investment and sacrifice, it all comes down to this fúckery. I admire most of you with the level of shít you to put up with. I dare you that dear wifey to pull that stunt on me, there ain't even gon be a kids room for yo arse to run to.

baba i hail ur wisdom. As in dese ladies dont get it. Sex na every important thing for marriage oooo. If u know as a lady u cant handle it den tell d man before he puts d ring. If d woman continue like dis dat man go cheat

Op i am very impressed, after 10years he still find his wife sexually attractive espectially in dis modern era dat a man gets easily tired of his wife. Pls all of u saying 3times is much dere is ntn much abt it. And she shouldnt have run to d children bedroom like dat. She shd have spoken to d OP abt it first. Now if d man cheats all of una especially women wud run and blame him and label all men as scum. This man loves his wife completely. And dats why i advise peeps to know how much dere partner love sex before settling down with dem. Sex is a crucial part of marriage. Its a very crucial part for dat matter. Sir i dont want to give u a bad advise but its down to 3 things. 1 somethingbis bothering her 2 taking care of d family is weighing her down 3 is is cheating on u. Well try talking to her but i for one hate being placed on a timetable wen it comes to sex. It shd randomly happen. Maybe sometimes everyday other times once. Like dat....... Try talking to her. Shevis gradually pishing u out she doesnt know it and later she will blame u dat u went to cheat.

revson:
For me, I would prefer 1. That is because it fits well with my personality. I am not very much the sex guy but I am very ambitious and analytical to a fault. To give background to my claim, all of my friends had multiple offers from multinational companies, are best graduating student, and of course, as expected are first class graduates; this makes it difficult for me to keep up with a dumb lady.

I want someone that I could have an intelligent conversation with and who would nurture my kid to be competitive on a global stage.

Marrying a homely Woman whose preoccupation revolves around daily chores and whose mind can't indicts in great matters is big turn off. More to that, children inherits bulk of their intelligence from their mother, so how would she pass down to my children, the intelligence she lacks.

Just my thought and choice, I am not ready to be at loggerhead with anyone or have someone jump down my throat.

nice analysis but no1 wont have intelligent convo wit urbkids cos she will be too busy wit her career. Even both of u will hardly converse cos u guys will be sobtired from work and one of u might even bring work homw

PunkyV:
Ugh! They'll still cheat. They only realize how good they had it after they've lost it. And by then it's a little too late because no woman wants to be taken for granted. Or they'll try to hold on to you but still cheat behind your back. I've experienced both scenarios because I'm Punky bin Laden, I carry love bombs

u know judging all of us as cheats is ss equivalent as saying dat all women are whores and we know dats not true. Aint everyone dat is bad most bit not all. If u thinking like dis for all of us den i guess u planning on not treating ur hubby right cos d op is just saying treat ur man gud and it will reduce or stop any chance of cheating

halfricanadian:
Spot on

excuse u. No matter how much i respect my partner is she doesnt treat me well i will definitely leave for someone that will show me goodloving. So u know relationships is a two way thing. Even the op state u shd give him good loving and also he shd treat u d same way. So its not not just abt d man character but also d woman action. Find out from some men u will see dere wife gives dem problems at home. So pls its both parties here stop being biased

Nice piece, everybody will definitely have dere type, but i hate d frienzone thing like mad