₦airaland Forum

Mine!

lolz

So, yesterday I took a girl out on a date and
after we finish eating, I went to pay for the
food we ate , the waiter didn't have 500 naira
change to give me. I asked the girl to sit let's
wait for the waiter to go look for change, and
surprisingly she said I was embarrasing her,
that I should act like a big boy and leave the
change for the waiter...

Is she crazy?
Is she mad?
Does she know the things 500 naira can do? I
guess she doesn't
.
Well, let me highlight few of the things 500
naira can do incase she doesn't know...
.
500 naira can buy you 5 loaves of bread and
two fishes, if you are lucky to have Jesus
around, you will feed 5000 people..Is that the
money she want me to leave?
.
Sardine= N150, indomie (hungry man size) =
N100, 2 eggs = N60, plastic Coke = 100. Total
N410, and you say 500 naira na small money?
.
500 naira that I'll use to buy 3 albums & good
earpiece?
.
Rice N100, beans N50, meat N100, plastic
malt N100 and remaining 150 to play
Nairabet,...andshe say 500 naira na chicken
change? I swear she no well
.
Half carton of Indomie sef is N500 naira shey
know?
.
Do you know how many players Arsene Wenger
of Arsenal will buy with 500 Naira?
.
The most annoying thing is that its possible
that this girl has never given 500 naira
offering for church oo
.
See, on a serious note...you won't know the
value of 500 naira, untill you borrow 500 naira
credit from MTN and you have to paid back.

In fact here is my budget for this year

Speechless3:
Lol

While ugly men be like; chase money and when you made women will chase you.

being cute is not an excuse for being broke lol #justmakingcommonsense

but this should still be in the joke section my niqqa

1. Nutrient Absorption : Noodles inhibit the absorption of nutrients for the children under 5.

2. Cancer : The ingredient in the instant noodles called “Styrofoam’, is a cancer causing agent.

3. Miscarriage : Women who are Eating instant noodles during their pregnancy causes miscarriage, because it affect the development of a foetus.

4. Junk Food : instant noodles are enriched with full of carbohydrates,but no vitamins, fiber and minerals. This makes the instant noodles considered as a junk food.

5. Sodium : Instant noodles are power packed with high amounts of sodium. Excess consumption of sodium leads to heart disease, stroke, hypertension and kidney damage.

6. MSG : Monosodium Glutamate is used to enhance the flavour of instant noodles. People who are allergic to MSG consume it as part of their diet, then they end up suffering from headaches, facial flushing, pain, burning sensations.

7. Overweight : Eating Noodles is the leading cause of obesity. Noodles contains fat and large amounts of sodium, which causes water retention in the body and surely it leads to overweight, and obesity leads to heart problems.

8. Digestion : Instant noodles are bad for digestive system. Regular consumption of instant noodles causes irregular bowl movements and bloating.

9. Propylene Glycol : The ingredient in the instant noodles called “Propylene Glycol” which has a anti-freeze property. This ingredient is used because it prevents the noodles from drying by retaining moisture. It weakens the immune system of our body. It is easily absorbed by the body and it accumulates in the kidneys, heart and liver. It causes abnormalities and damage to thoseareas.

10. Metabolism : Regular consumption of instant noodles affect the body’s metabolism, because of the chemical substances like additives, coloring and preservatives inside the noodles.

Please share to others, you can’t know all things so try to reach others. Thanks

Source:http://www.gltrends.com/top-10-reason-why-you-should-stop-eating-instant-noodles-must-read/

American p0rnogr@phic film actress Lisa Sparks set a new world record for having s£x with the most men in a single day during the annual World Bleep Championship in Warsaw, Poland on October 16, 2004.



Sparxxx competed against two other women one of which was the former world record holder who had s£x with 759 men in a day.





According to her:
“The record is 919. It was set in ’04 in Poland. I had a blast… a little sore for a few weeks but I had fun. It was kind of like an out of body experience to be able to finish without stopping. The event was suppose to take place at an adult convention. However the Polish government wanted nothing to do with it. So it was a fun cat and mouse chase.
I was a little nervous checking in at the airport, going through customs. I figured the Polish Government would catch up with us there. However nothing happened and I was more than happy to be on a plane for a 13 hour flight back home.”



She achieved this record by having s£x with 919 men over a period of 24 hours.

On the day Lisa Sparks won the competition by only 21 men

OMG!!! warris did Bob Marley plantains

Source;http://www.gltrends.com/whats-wrong-with-this-photo-bob-marley-version/

No big deal I'm 21 and still...no effing big deal

A Muslim woman was removed from Donald Trump’s campaign event in South Carolina on Friday after standing in silent protest following one of the Republican front-runners controversial immigration comments.


Rose Hamid, 56, attended the event in Rock Hill wearing a hijab and a shirt that read ‘Salam, I come in peace,’ hoping that her presence might manage to change the opinion some Trump supporters have about members of the Islam faith.

She positioned herself directly behind Trump, and when he began to speak about Syrian refugees
being banned from entering the United States and suggested that many had ties to ISIS, she silently stood up out of her seat.

Police immediately escorted her out of the event while the audience booed the woman and yelled at her to ‘get out,’ with one man screaming; ‘You have a bomb, you have a bomb.’


After Hamid had been removed, Trump said to the audience; ‘There is hatred against us that is unbelievable. It’s their hatred, it’s not our hatred

When it comes to women, straight men can’t seem to live with them or without them. We’re always loving what they provide and how wonderful they are to us, then at times we’re wondering why they’re so mean to us. Truly, we as men are the dumb ones in some cases compared to the smarts that a woman possesses.



However, we’re not as dumb as some like to think. Let’s be honest; people lie. Not everyone does all of the time, but human beings are programmed to do so at least sometime in their life, whether they are young when they do it or old.

Lying to a friend that you’re busy so you don’t have to do something is just as much of a lie as cheat*ng on your significant other and denying it when they investigate. There is no difference between the two, however one might seem worse.

Women lie more than men, at least that’s according to The Daily Mail, who claim that at least one in three people lie. Their big number comes from a survey that found at least four in five women lie on a daily basis. Some are little white lies while others are much bigger. A lie is a lie regardless, and we thought that it would be good to dive into certain numbers women lie about, as well as why they do so.

You might be surprised by some of the picks, but trust us when we say it’s completely true. Men, pay attention, we’re about to save your life. You’re welcome, by the way.

10. How Much They Make


Many women like to be independent and act is if they don’t need a man. Many do a wonderful job at this and truly do not need a two income home to live comfortably. Meanwhile, others like to come off as if they don’t need any help from someone else.

You may ask a woman what she makes and she may very well lie about this simply out of the independence of it all. Others lie based on embarrassment. Some do not make as much as others and will lie so that they do not come off looking poor. This number is mostly for other women.

Remember, women can be jackals and they attack each other far more than they attack men. It should come as no surprise that women lie more about finances to other women than they do with men.

9. Time It Takes To Get Ready


“I woke up like this” is a slogan many girls love to use, but it’s a complete lie. There are some women who are gorgeous and can do no wrong with how they look. However, this is the smaller percentage and not the larger.

Some women have claimed it takes them just 30 minutes to get ready and it truly takes much, much longer. There are some women crafted from God who truly can get ready quickly, but let’s be honest, most do not.

8. Their Phone Number


A woman’s phone number is close to the Holy Grail for some. You never truly know if the number is really given to you until you call it. The best thing to do is call the number while she’s near you and see if she picks up; then you know it’s real. However, you don’t want to be a creep.

If she’s not giving you her personal cell number that she has on her, there’s probably a great reason. Maybe she will be changing it to the one she gave you. Maybe it’s her work number. Maybe it’s to her landline. Or maybe, and this is just us spit-balling, SHE DOESN’T WANT YOU TO TALK TO HER!

Women lie about their phone number more than many care to admit, but it’s actually quite common…and sometimes a good idea.

7. Money Spent Shopping


Whether it’s at Target, Wal-Mart, the mall or what have you, women are known for their shopping love. Guys are known for going into stores, getting what they need and walking out. However, many girls like to spend more time and go to as many stores as possible to make sure they aren’t missing out on anything.

Sometimes there are fantastic deals you just can’t pass up, we all understand. However, when you go to the store to get sheets and come back with ten new outfits and eight pairs of shoes with the sheets, there seems to be an issue. You may say it all cost $300, but we all know it cost more.

This number is admittedly lied about by several women, so next time look at the receipt. If it has disappeared, you know why.

6. Number of Animals


Women and men are both known for their love of animals. There are many people that have dogs and cats at their home, and there is nothing wrong with that. However, there comes a time when there are too many animals and women KNOW it’s a lot.

Cats are probably the biggest problem. A girl might have 30 cats, but in order to not be called a weird cat lady, she will only claim to have three. Three was in the number, so it counts, right?

No, Sharron, it doesn’t work that way. 27 more cats is far too many.

Single women are more likely to lie about this than married or taken women, as those who are dating or married do not care about impressing another guy when they’re good in that department. Meanwhile women who do want to impress someone do not bring up their large amount of animals at home.



5. How Much They Exercise


There are some women who are in really good shape who work out a lot during a week, while most women may just work out a few times a week. However, there are also those types whotell you that they go to the gym 2 to 4 times a week, but only go once and wear running shorts to Starbucks with their girlfriends the other 2 to 3 times.



No one is saying a girl has to work out to impress anyone, but it is a number many lie about. However, if you are happy with the way you feel and look despite that lie, then you must be doing something right. So good on you, ladies.

4. Their Height


Many women are tall, and there is nothing wrong with a tall woman. There are many people who love that. Some girls are taller than some people they might want to date and feel awkward about it, but you never should.

The height lie is one that many girls tell over online dating. She may say on her profile or to you in a message that she’s 5’8″, but when she comes in at a tall 5’11”, you might feel weird when you meet her. Not that she’s tall, but that she lied about just how tall she was.

The height lie is becoming far bigger these days than it ever was before. Height in certain shoes is a common lie associated with this too. While we’re on the subject, is there ever a need for 6 inch heels? I mean, really!

3. Their Age


Age is a huge number women lie about. This mostly happens when women cross the age of 30. There are a lot of women happy about their age and the look of maturity it brings, while others want to come across as younger and don’t want people knowing how old they are.

The age issue is becoming a problem less and less, but it does still remain. It is mostly an issue for women who are attempting to date and want to find someone younger. It is better sometimes to tell him you’re 29 instead of 36, because he may feel that you’re better for some reason.

Most do not care about the age of a woman. As long as there is an attraction to her, age means absolutely nothing. However, women lie about it more than you think. Women don’t want people to think you “look” a certain age, which is one major reason it’s used. However, age is merely a number to most today and it’s certainly not one to lie about. Yet, it is more than it should be.

2. Their Weight


Women lie about their weight quite a lot. This happens a ton on their driver’s license, because you’re forever your weight at 16, right ladies? It’s a part of life to grow up and to gain some weight, we all do. However, girls lie about this more often than most really realize.

Some are happy with their weight and will have no problem telling you they weigh a certain amount. Sadly, there are many women unhappy with how they look and even if they look terrific, they will think they weigh too much. Hence the weight lie.

Most girls don’t want you to know their dress or pants size as some things might seem bigger but aren’t. You might need a size 8 but really have a 6 waist. Some are weird about this and don’t realize that every woman has a different and unique body that they have to buy certain items for. Naturally, they will lie and tell you something untrue if you ask….which you shouldn’t!

As guys, you always see women obsessed with the latest diet craze and exercise to lose those dreaded two to three pounds. It’s commonplace for us to hear about losing weight in a world where we eat too much. At the end of the day weight gain does occur and nearly every woman seems to think she might need to lose a few pounds even if she’s perfect just as is.

1. Number of $exual Partners


You know those questions that are asked when dating first begins. What’s your favorite food? Favorite color? What do you love to do? How many people have you slept with? You know, the need-to-knows!

Some people don’t want to know how many people a girl was with while others find themselves to be curious regarding it. It is said that with men you multiply by three and with women you divide by three. Basically saying that women sleep with more people than they say and men sleep with less than they claim.

For men, it’s almost considered a conquest to say you slept with numerous women, while for women, you’re seen as a LovePeddler for sleeping with more than one or two men. This is obviously wrong and should not be the case. However, that is sadly the culture we’re living in.

Due to this problem, women lie about how many people they slept with just so they are not seen as a bad person or some sort of LovePeddler by people. Let us be honest and say that there are some who fit this description, but not every girl who has slept with more than one person is under this banner.

That said, it is understandable why women lie about this. However, if you care for someone, ladies, it’s better to be honest than not if they want to know.

Source: http://www.gltrends.com/top-10-numbers-women-will-always-lie-about/

she can't even spell "dare" SMH

what about flavour's baby oku doctors prescription; 3 times in a day

is that the virgin Mary shoe size

how come I don't know any of them

yea you're right!

Thoughts are powerful, and negative thoughts can prevent you from achieving your goals. The flip side is that positive thoughts can be just as powerful. The next time you feel unmotivated, use any of these 30 positive thoughts to reenergize yourself. Really: They work!

1. I can do anything. It’s a simple phrase, but it helps to remind yourself -- you really can do anything you set your mind to.

2. This is why I can. Instead of giving yourself reasons why you can’t do something, give yourself reasons why you can.

3. I deserve more. You deserve a better life -- whether that means a better job, a healthier body or more money. Work for it.

4. It’s never too late. No matter how old you are or how many opportunities you’ve passed up before, it’s never too late to make a decision and get a fresh start.

5. There will always be challenges. No matter what you do in life, there will always be challenges -- don’t let one set get the better of you.

6. There’s no "perfect" time. If you’re waiting for the perfect moment, forget about it -- there’s no such thing.

7. There’s no perfect plan. There are some definite flaws in your plan -- but there are in every plan.

8. Everybody starts somewhere. Nobody is born successful. Everyone starts somewhere, and usually from the bottom.

9. One step at a time. Don’t try to do everything at once. Reduce it to baby steps.

10. It can only get better. If it’s hard at first, it can only get easier.

11. Failure is temporary. If you fail, you’re in good company -- most successes come only after several rounds of failure.

12. Mistakes are learning opportunities. If you mess up, you can only become better for it.

13. Today is all I can control. Forget about what you did yesterday. Today is what matters.

14. If it were easy, everyone would do it. Nothing worth doing is easy.

15. “Someday” is today. If you’re like most people, you use the word “someday” to describe your goals and desires. Make today that someday.

16. Negative thoughts can’t stop me. Your negative thoughts are just thoughts -- nothing more.

17. I’ve done harder things. Think back to a time when you succeeded against the odds.

18. Everything has to be earned. You can’t get anything in this life unless you work hard for it.

19. Action is a better regret than inaction. Making the wrong decision is always preferable to regretting never having done anything at all.

20. I don’t need anyone’s permission. If people think you’re crazy, so be it.

21. I’m in control of my own destiny. You can decide whom you want to become.

22. There is no pass or fail. Nobody is grading you. You can’t objectively “fail” at life unless you never try anything.

23. Boring decisions get boring results. Make an exciting decision.

24. The risk is worth it. Know that risks are real, but the potential benefits are worth them.

Related: The 10 Biggest Motivation Killers and How to Fix Them

25. Discipline feels better than regret. Discipline is hard, but it’s easier to deal with than regret.

26. Many good ideas seem crazy or impossible at first. Yours is no different.

27. I’ve got support. Friends, family, colleagues -- even if they think you’re crazy, you can always find support in networking groups, support groups and other community resources.

28. Experience is always valuable. Even if your mission doesn’t turn out the way you'd expected, you’ll walk away with experience.

29. Hard work is its own reward. You’ll feel good just for making the attempt.

30. Every day counts. Today, tomorrow and the next day are all steps towards your goals.

Speechless3:
where dem vaseline crew ? cure don come o. Come and heal yourselves.

I just quit masturbation until I saw your dp

oldtopics:
chck again

that's more like it

zenar:
u cute small

yours got me thinking twice

HateU2:
Sorry! Lemme have the dick pls ASAP

it's all urs have the nine inch baby

I know why I'm missing from the list...cos I'm new here

true!!! lol

faith551:
Nigerian problem is multi-ethnicity and multiple religion.

close to my opinion though but the religion aspect can be worked on sha

lol that one too careless o...not all invigilators would agree to give it back...but t Godwin!