₦airaland Forum

As we were saying, where were we?
now i remember.he had been thinking about her for some time.he had been crushing on her,but he didn't want to get crushed by her mighty father.
Lets cut to the chase.he walked up to her has she was catwalking away(more like frogwalking away).He swallowed his fear in the form of saliva and shouted "sister bola,wait ".as if by reflex,she stopped in a way that reminds of a chicken on food alert.catching his breath,and catching up with her, Bartholomew bellowed in his cutest voice,which sounded like a five year old on trumpet,"sista bola,i wants to spoken to you".,he had thought he was blowing her mind with his english or engrish,but her reaction proved him otherwise.she grunted out "brodas bartholomew,simple english you cannot spoken!"

Are you bored of akpors jokes? let's bring on a new character: bro Bartholomew....

One particularly specially specific day,bro bartholomew brazened up to talk to sister bola,the woman he had been crushing on for months.he had been feeding his eyes on her beauty for as long as he knew her:her potato-like face,her long legs and big feet,her dark oily tribal marks,or shall we say tribal lines,and other tinz which i will not mention because of the little kids who are waiting to hear things they shouldn't here.
I'll be back in a sec...

So maybe you should add yours

1:arsenal 1;3Southampton, and you are an arsenal fan.(good thing I'm a blueblood)

2:Your favourite footballer is Fernando Torres

3:You have been assigned, as a soldier, to combat terrorism in the north,maiduguri to be precise.

4:you just met this beautiful girl and you've started a conversation with her.she seems interested in you too.all is going well....until someone walks up to her and says 'your Excellency, we have to go now '

5:you are downloading a file the size of 2gb.data service is really fast today... then it's slowing down, but it's still loading....just a Meg to go....a kilobyte....Errrrrrr..... download complete! whopper!let's celebrate it.but b4 that let's open it...Format not supported!reallerkiller!

6:you work in a big time company, earning so much you afford almost anything. But your kind boss just retired and the new one is a sadist.then comes the bombshell, he just signed his daughter up to be your immediate boss.she turns out to be your ex-girlfriend,and you must now call her 'boss'

7:You are in the exam hall.the supervisor has announced his intension to search you from head to toe.you have a key points text with you,but never mind,he can't find it where you hid it.he's checked you.now he's turning away from you....then he turns back,goes directly to ur treasure, and raused it up in the air.And in comes the officials from the exam body..

8:hAve you ever gone somewhere for something of the importance of an examination, somewhere distant fron home? hoe does it feel like to get there and then remember your exam slip?

9:when you are invited for an interview after waiting years for an employment.you are fully dressed for the occasion, suit and all.spent yesterday racking ur mind on possible questions. Few meters to the place,you remember the song 'mud on the tires',and just then a shower of mudwater rains on you,straight from a speeding Tyre.refreshing indeed.

10:the moment when your carefully planned plan goes kaboowee seconds to its success.... and all thanks to your crazy neighbour's goat (Goat here can also be a human,if you know what I mean

many of us know what it means to feel on top of the world. But the there is always a time or two when happenings make you feel more like Lola carrero than Felix segura,moments like......

But hey,I'm not the guy in the above 'testimony '

I remember a guy who created a thread asking if people thought he was goodlooking and posted pics of himself. Most notably he was wearing make-up,and his english vocarb was the stuff you hear from'the masqurade"s chief zebbrudiah.Omo come see comments!

I'm thinking 'bout nairalanding and all the good things that go along with it.But sometimes our contributions to the site brings things we may or may not expect.so if you have been a victim of nairaland's fun,share your experience. (I guess I'll be having a similar experience with this)so tell us your ridiculous/embarrassing moments.

is it just me or every news about osun is something murderous? I'm a citizen though.