₦airaland Forum

LOVELY

Very infuriating!
Especially the ones taken at the passenger seat with seat belt on

Nigeria is really getting interesting. Fellow
compatriots, we need not shout nor fight ourselves.
President Goodluck Johnathan is a good man as a
person, his simplicity and gentleman ness is second
to none. He has given us his very BEST over the last 6 years. I mean, what else are we asking for? Read his achievements.
*He has granted Alameisigha 'STATE PARDON' and
former corrupt Governor guy
is now running for Senate.
*He allowed Fayose to distrupt a court session and
beat up a judge, while he walks freely. I wonder if
Nigeria is sane.
*He locked up the house of rep from the entrance
against the CONSTITUTIONAL speaker of that house
forcing Reps to jump gates.
*7 law makers impeached a speaker in Ekiti in a
house of about 26 men, and nothing happened. Same thing happened in Rivers, I love partisan politics.
*16 was suddenly greater than 19 in base 10, just to
cancel the one-term agreement he signed with the NIGERIA Governors' Forum and all Nigerians in 2011.
*Subsidy has been removed and the standards in our hospitals have reduced with time.
*$20 billion is missing in NNPC and minister of
Petroleum eats and dines with the president
*Another BIGGER & BOLDER subsidy is scheduled for 1st of June, 2015 and you may have to sell your laptop charger before you can buy fuel for generator to charge that same laptop!!!
*Earlier this year, over 22 innocent Nigerians were
killed in the job scam organized by the Nigerian
Immigration Service(NIS) . The Minister of Interior,
Abba Moro, told us the job interview was "simply
mismanaged" and he has retained his office and
even with extra luggage.
*1 Naira used to be equal $1.2 under GMB but now
it's #186.5 to just $1, the worst ever in our history.
*Madam Gele, Ngozi Okonjo, just told us we need an extra $5 billion, through debts of course, so that our economy will not collapse like Humpty-Dumpty.
*While Benue State University was on an unending
internal strike killing the future of poor Nigerians,
Senator DAVID MARK (son of the soil) built
his PRIVATE UNIVERSITY, of course with tax payers'
money, and my gentle president followed him to
launch the school shamelessly.
*He has spent all money in the treasury and even
had to BORROW an extra $1 billion but BokoHaram
keeps getting more equipped than our military.
*Over 200 girls are missing, and over 15,000 killed by BokoHaram,
*over 6 million displaced from their homes and
many more injured yet my president went to a
meeting in KENYA with 7 different PRIVATE JETS
*PHCN is giving their loyal customers GENERATORS
as gifts for paying their electricity bills on time..Grab your COPY NOW!!!
*That is less than 1% of the reasons we need to
dance to a new GMB SHOKI, because this GEJ AWILO is no more wulo for us.
*Controversy everywhere, in Education,Security and
even in our socie-economic lives.
*Cheers to an unstoppable change.

No 3 drives me nut!
And you'll see them with different seatbelts in different cars. Just see how many men use girls love of cars to get into their pants

A certain man found his wife with another
man in his bedroom. Instead of shouting or
beating both of them, he just looked at them
and went back to the sitting room. He
switched on the television and started
watching some gospel videos.
The wife and the boyfriend were in panick.
The boyfriend dressed up and came by the
sitting room then he said, "Sir, am sorry for
sleeping with your wife".
Husband, it has happen you can go..". The
boyfriend left.
The wife never came out from the bedroom till
it was time to sleep. The husband switched off
the television and went to sleep in the
bedroom. He found her wife sitted on the
floor crying. The husband never said anything
or even asking her. He just slept on his bed
and covered himself with some blankets.
In the morning when he woke up, he found
his wife dead.
The wife committed suicide in the middle of
night as her husband was sleeping.
The husband was jailed for 20 years for
murder. ...
**Question:- "who is to blame and why??"
1. The husband.
2. Wife

I SWEAR DOWN! You nailed it
Girls with religious PM are pure hoes who need to disguise and pretend always...I begin to woo a babe whenever I notice she has TUJ, God is Good, I love Jesus etc on her PM because those are the babes that ffuuck like mad

jubriano93:
thank God I'm not 'most guys'. that 'most guys' must be . buh when 'meeting' wt a virgin for her first tym, make sure d fan is at its highest speed...u go sweat sweat

LOL
Madman. It can be a pain in the asss though. I'm not cut out for it

Dafuq!

Keep waiting while they keep sampling your future wife

roymary:
Really? You don't care about the readers?

Nigga with this attitude , i understand why that lady left your sorry behind. Y'all come over here acting victimized but no one knows the other side of the story. Dude, you need a should or shouldn't?? I think you should get a Job.

dude you were doing well till your last paragraph. Should he continue with the hoe?

Its not up to nairaland's very own ChubbyT

akinsadeez:
Bros..... pertinent questions from this story

1.) Didnt they have toilet facilities in that female hostel abi how come they were urinating inside a bucket

2.) Even if they were urinating inside a bucket ( as weird as it sounds) would they have placed the bucket right in front of d hostel in full view of everyone

3) or is it that the girls quickly donated urine while u were trying to 'escape' and poured it on you

4) or is it that they had urinated already and were just waiting for you to be the partaker?

5) lastly how did you know dat the content of d bucket was urine. By taste or smell

Oya talk true bros, you added a little maggi and salt to this story. .

I think it was urine mixed with water

I would rather fight for a playstation game pad than fight for a woman

Reminds me of school days when I was embarrassed in front of a female hostel..two ladies got full of themselves and decided to go into physical combat over a dude who has absolutely nothing to do with them.
When the brawl got out of hand a nigga quietly started moving away to my surprise some girls in the hostel realized a nigga was the cause of the battle of their colleagues then a nigga heard 'na dis mumu dem dey fight for oo' within a blink of an eye one of them threw a bucket of urine on a nigga in rage and the rest was history.
Never been that embarrassed

Is she trying to take mum's place? The only number I have memorized is mine and Mumsy's
Any other number? Will let the phone book do its duty

faithugo64:
and booobs?

The easiest way to get him marry you

faithugo64:
men and yansh

its the fastest way to a man's heart

We need more girls like that
Whatever you do don't make her regret approaching you, it took her a lot of courage to do so. Even if you don't like her just play along so it encourages our girls to approach guys first

Evina:
Tosin, number 8 is sooo true about men!

The other day, I was buying oranges. I said to the seller, "please give me soft ones cos I want to juice them". Next thing I heard a voice that wasn't the seller say, "why only the soft ones"? I no answer. After my selection, the guy paid. I said thank you and was on my way, when he rushed to catch up with me.

I am usually not friendly with guys I don't know, but decided to change since a new year is approaching. LOL. I even gave him my number, an act I regret doing because na so so super story and Ikebe super gist the guy dey disturb me with since then.

All because, I was nice enough to boost his ego by letting him pay for my oranges.

This scenario happens every time. They pay for stuff you did not ask them to pay for and give you lifts because they want to "try their luck" and not because they are angels sent to make your day.

So the heavens will fall if the girl becomes the angel to make the guy's day?? Must it be the guy?

I have a few selected contacts on BBM which I regularly interact with. The others are waiting for me to send a message first.
Sometimes I give them a dose of their medicine by not asking questions and waiting for them to ask, this makes them crave for you the more

izaray:
Dat guy really dey game die!

kinda chat you like right??

When you're chating like this with your girlfrnd
You: Hey
She: Hello
You: Xup
She: I'm fyn & u?
You: Gud
She: K.
There's another guy online going like this
Guy: Gudmorning Beauty, How's ur pretty self doing 2day?
She: Lol. did u'av to make me blush dis early morning?
Guy: You deserve that My Bestiee, U always look more beautiful whenever u blush.
She: Woww! stop flattering me jhoor.
Guy: I'm not Baby, its just that i love u & ur happiness matters a lot to me.
She: I'm in a relationship Deariee but the truth is that u've a
way of making me happy whenever i chats with you.
Guy: U deserve 2 be happy, enjoy ur day my Angel, got 2 go
now, chat later
She: tnx Swtdy, i'll miss u, can't wait 2 av u back online.
=============================================
you may say she's too cheap to fall 4 mere words but thats
how women were meant to be. they like soft words 4rm their spouse.

Because we are Nigerians doesn't mean we should tell lies so as to be patriotic. Browse Soccer City Stadiium, Johannesburg then you'll know the best stadium in Africa

Its not to be argued