₦airaland Forum

PRE4:
Special guests invites Lakesc. AiteeAitee Skubido Divepen Silver1996 ena5four Princechigozie ghostwrier0147 Jameskudooski kingpaul07 casnova
i aff forget the rest name sha,my brain is doing off and on.

I have updated ohh,read and enjoy

I Swear This Tory Dey Enter My Body, Pastor Jerry Don Die Today

PRE4:
Special guests invites
Lakesc.
AiteeAitee
Skubido
Divepen
Silver1996
ena5four
Princechigozie
ghostwrier0147
Jameskudooski
kingpaul07
casnova

i aff forget the rest name sha,my brain is doing off and on.


I have updated ohh,read and enjoy

Baby Boy, I'm So Sorry I Didn't Respond To Ur Call On Time, I'm Just Getting Used To Nairaland Forum, Don't Worry Bwoy I Got Ur Back.

*CONTINUATION OF EPISODE 6*

ATEWO LA BALA
means
NAH HAND WE DEY TAKE RICH
or
NAH PALM WE DEY TAKE RICH
*u fit choose any of dem, as to say na d same tin e mean*

Atewo la bala don slap Veronica b4, wen she geh issue wt her elder 6ta,
vero no dey sleep 4 ous again since she begin to grow breast,
na d tin wey she dey do 4 onitsha b dat,b4 family gada head do meeting say make her elder 6ta carry her go lagos make she dey work wt am,
vero 6* name nah Angela,
atewo la ba la been dey eye angela tey tey bur she no wan gree as to say atewola ba la nah area boy,
nah outside vero go sleep as usual,wen angela report am to atewo labala, nah only 1 slap atewo labala tear vero,

wallahi, she just cut ties with all her boyfriends both in village & lagos, even d forthcoming ones & her sugar uncles,
nah two weeks she use 4 hospital wey dem dey help her treat her face, wen doctors ask am wetin do am,
angela yarn lie say na accident,even d doctor sef no doubt am because of d scar,
ever since dah period,
she no dey misbehave

*CONTINUATION OF EPISODE 6*

as river benue wan begin tear race commot 4 my guy eye laidis
naso him hear,

a.b papa: hey, were, wetin cause una fyt?
agbero: papa, e no pay me, i con...i con
*e wan yarn d 1 wey been dey him mouth na so d b.c cuts in*

b.c: *cuts in* e con break my glass,

KPGBAAASSS, 1 area boy wey been dey him bak 4 where him kneeldon just tear am unimaginary exloquential erotica n enfractica deliquscent slap 4 hear,
4rm d back,

4 d next 16 seconds my guy no gree hear anything,
nah only dah mosquito sound wey dey do high pitch noise wen u been dey slp,just dey sound 4 him ear,

30seconds later, i just hear

b.c: *shouts*
YEH! ETIMI...
(yeh, my hear)

all d crowd wey been gather just tear laugh lyk say dem bin dey expect da kyn tin,

1 girl wey her 6* been geh shop beside d deaf woman,
been dey sweep, bt as she just hear d shout 4rm d b.c, she just shout,

girl: YEH, ATEWO LA BA LA

everybody just tear anoda round of laughter,

"Atewo la bala" na him b d name of d area boy wey tear d b:c slap

*CONTINUATION OF EPISODE 6*

even if AMERICAN PRESIDO wey b trump show face 4 dah place,
e no fit rescue dem,

not to talk our ordinary

*clears throat: hghun hhghun*
i no say una sharp well well una go don understand wetin i been wan yarn*

*wink*

my kwantinu wit my tory,

my guy d b/c seff don begin dey expect d worse,

nah so 1 of d area boys dem yarn dey give d b.c say,

a.b1: *with macho voice*
u wan dey form strong head abi?

a.b2: papa, e fi le, o fe ku ni, ode ma ri ku yen laaro yi

(papa, leave am, him wan die nah, and him go c d death dis morning)

*d 1st area boy wey talk na him b d oga patapata 4 dah area, him no dey stay plenty well well 4 dah side because him just build new house 4 mushin, bt him just come dah morning bcoz 1 of him boys born pikin, nah celebration tinz dem dey*

b.c: *in a teary voice* ah, papa i no wan die abeg
ejo sir
mi oni she be mo
(abeg sir, i no go do am again)

as 4 my oda guy, "agbero" him don already cry river niger nah river benue him wan begin dey cry when dem call am,

*CONTINUATION OF EPISODE 5*

*him no no say d b.c go still pursue am after him don break d b.c danfo glass, na e make am con go bk 4 him bus/stop wan begin dey collet money 4rm other bus conductors dem,
bt as him c my b.c dey run come him side wt full force na im make am 4get say nah him bus/stop him dey con begin dey fyt wrestlemania*

BROS! my b.c seff jus luk left n ryt c d filling station wey pple dey call yonni filling station, my guy face just turn red wan begin dey cry,

him don remember d side wey him dey, d side na Meiran bustop, pple no dey fyt 4 dah side, him don hear different stories about d place 4rm him conductor mentors wey dem teach am conductor,

him remember say dem tell am "even ti agbero bani ko san 1000 naira ni meiran, ogbeni, fun ni 1,500 ni o, won kin ja ni Meiran O, Sho Gbor?"

*even If Agbero Yarn Say Make U Pay 1k, My Guy, Give Am 1,500, Dem No Dey Fyt 4 Meiran O, U Hear*

him rember some hardened bus conductors too wey b say him fear,
dem don treat dem Bleep up 4 meiran bus/stop.

*CONTINUATION OF EPISODE 5*

no even do like say d tin concern am,
she just dey sell her "Agbo" giv her customers dem,
those ones too dey carry d tin dey gulp down dem throat lyk say dem life dey inside d herbal concortion,
GBAAA!!!
na so him back take break d woman table scatter d whole place,

Ghen Ghen,
Ghen Ghen Ghen Ghen

n all d woman customer nah Area Boys dem be,
nothin concern dem concern madness,
coz even dem themselves b original incurable madness,

d woman no kukuma talk,
she just stand dey luk dem,
she con Shift back 4 dem,
i tink say she been wan give dem space to fyt well well ni,
i no no say she been gt her own plan,

dis 2mumu fyt well well so tey,
dem fall inside gutter still dey fyt, some keke drivers and okada riders begin dey hail dem,
dey giv dem morale,

when dem fyt tire dem con stand up commot inside d gutter,

as d conductor raise up him head nah me, him frst c, ghen ghen,
na so him shout, OWO MI DA?
(whey my money)
as him wan run, make him come face me, na so d area boys dem,
Wey b

*EPISODE 5*

i'ill be writting this
*EPISODE 5*
&the next
*EPISODE 6*
piece in
NIGERIA PIDGIN ENGLISH
&
CYBER-WORDS.

na so i take tear race 4lo d bus conductor lyk say him steal my new iphone wey i been dey use on credit, Even all d passengers dem 1st tink say d conductor thief my money con run,
cos as i take tear race 4lo am seff,Me seff been dey wonder wear d strenght come from,
4 my plastic mind,
I no say d conductor been dey run after d agbero wey smash him "danfo" with baton,
but i tear race 4lo am so dat i go fit take dah 1 confuse pple wey been siddon inside d bus,
conductor don tear slap give d agbero, broh! con c fight even me wey i been wan run away b4 seff con wait dey separate d wrestlemania's dem
agbero: ogun lo ma pa ya e
(na god of iron go kill ur mama)
bc: na thunder go rape ur fada
agbero: *na so him shout like person wey dem shuk 3 fingers inside him bumbum*
ehn, emi
(ehn, me?)
naso him tear slap wire d conductor 4 face o,

4 where i been dey i no say yawa don gas.

Hardes:
Awaiting more updates jejely

Got Ur Back On This One Jhare...

Hardes:
]seems you were lucky

Lol, Abi Now...

Hardes:
Thanks for the update

Anytime...

Sologzy:
Following

Heeeey, I Sight U Bro! My Respect O

Hardes:
]seems you were lucky

Lol, Ion Understand What U Meant O... *laughing*
I'm Just Tryna Make Sure The Story Becomes Real In My Readers Imagination.

*CONTINUATION OF EPISODE 4*

insulting words with the n.u.r.t.w staff,

(national union of road transport worker)

informally and popularly reffered to as "Agbero"

agbero: ehhn eyan meta lo wole, mioni change 1000 o,

(hey, it's 3 people that has just board your bus,i don't have one thousand naira change o)

he was still ranting when the bus driver accelerates the vehicle recklessly,

*the bus driver tought that his conductor had already paid d n.u.r.t.w ,since he wasn't listening to their conversation*

d next thing we heard from d back of d vehicle was a loud bang
*GBAAAAM!*

JESUS...!
*one of D female passengers at the back sit shouted*

*D driver looked back
unknown to him, he was almost about to hit another vehicle in front*

and all D passengers shouts at him with different kind of frightened voices

1st woman: *with warri accent* oga wetin nah, i no tell dem 4 my caba say nah die i wan go die o

2nd woman: *with igbotic accent*
bia driver, ebu jepa nam onnwu o

(come driver, don't drive me to death o)

*CONTINUATION OF EPISODE 4*

*the driver reduces the the speed of the vehicle*

& d passengers hopped in

i brought out d wallet-like structure in my pocket,
but to my uttermost surprise
Lo and Behold it was a jehova witness booklet that was given2me on my way to the sport gambling shop yesterday morning,

*that was when realization hits me*

damn it,
it wasn't the pair of trouser that i had chosen earlier before i headed towards the bathroom that i wore,

& it was due to the effect of overthinking of what my life would become if the dream i had, had that morning comes to reality,

i heaved a sigh of frustration,

how am i going to escape this bus conductor became my next plan,

GBAM...!

*i hit it on the head as an idea struck my mind*
running away wouldn't be a big challenge ofcourse
*i muttered to myself*

but what kind of bad morning is dis?
i was still asking myself d question in my mind when d audible deep macho voice of d bus conductor caught my attention,

he was already exchanging insulting words __

Hardes:
Following

You Earn My Respect Brother...
Coz Of You, I'll Update Tonight

*CONTINUATION OF EPISODE 4*

what am i even saying?
the wallet am not sharing with anybody,

*all this while, i still haven't bring the so-called wallet out yet*

b.c: oga shey oti ready?
(boss, is it ready?)
me: *with smile*
ehn mon bo
(yes, i'm coming)
bc: las las sleep don commor 4 ur eye

me: mi o sun tele nah
(i'm not sleeping before now)
bc: *coming towards me*
oya owo e da?
(so, where's your money)
me: alaye fara bale jhor
(hey dude, calm down now)
bc: on top my money u still dey show me level,
oga mio fe gbogbo were yio
(you're still forming for me despite the fact that you're still yet to pay me, boss i don't want all these madness)

me: oya chillax na
bc: itunmo iyen?
(meaning of that)
me: i mean chill and relax, i'm coming naw,
maa sanwo e nah abi shey mon salo ni?
(i'll pay you or am i running away)

*he left my side and slides the danfo door open to call for passengers*

oshodi, oshodi, under bridge oooooooosssshoooooddddiiii....
*he banged the vehicle thrice*

bc: heys, on wolee
(hey, is going)

*CONTINUATION OF EPISODE 4*

what if i am going to be robbed today?
what if i'm going to be successful today?
what if?

*the bus conductor=b.c cuts my tought short*

b.c: ehn ehn oya bros!
*raising my head up with sleepy eyes but not sleeping*
me: wetin happen
*i responded in a weak voice*
b.c: wetin happen bawo?
f'emi lowo jhor,
(what happen like how? give me money)
b.c: abi sleep neva commot 4 ur eyes,
oga abeg gimme money mio raye oshi
(are you still feeling sleepy, boss please give me money i don't have time for nonsense)
*i scruintinized his face*
b.c: oga y u dey luk me like say u no me 4rm somewhere abeg arrange my money b4 i come back o
*he said, heading towards the back seats*

without having a second tought on his words,
i tapped my pocket to check on what seems to be my wallet,
ghen ghen
ghen ghen ghen ghen
i pressed it again,

but why is my wallet so soft like this nah, ah ahn, leather wallet for that matter,
abi did it fall inside water and i didn't know ni?

abi shey?
wait what am i even saying?

*EPISODE 4*

oshodi oshodi oshodi,
too bani change ma wole o
(if don't have change don't come on board)
mi o fe were laaro kutu kutu monday o
(i won't tolerate madness this monday morning)

ooops, despite all the introductions i made earlier, it's horrible i didn't mention my name,
my name is ena.
just call me ena and nothing else,
i don't wanna be really specific in supporting any tribe here,

the bus conductor kept ranting on again and again,
everyone is just rushing to come on board,
and since as early as 5.am everywhere is bright enough as usual,
thanks to lagos state governor,

i'm totally lost in my own tought reminiscing on how this monday is going to be,
will it favour me?
will it be the opposite?
i prefer the former than the latter but what can i do if today does not favour me,

well it's nature you can cheat it,
you just have to accept your fate,
my subconcious mind keeps responding to my rhetorical questions,

what if today awaits me a good fortune?
what if i die today?
what if, what if and if hmmm

*CONTINUATION OF EPISODE 3*

You need to know the difference between being addicted to sex and being addicted to pussy,

there are categories of people that Are addicted to Sex,

while the other categories are addicted to pussy,

a sex addicts can Bleep anything as long as it's to satify his/her sexual urge but

a pussy addicts will never Bleep anything except pussy,
and besides a pussy addict doesn't Bleep pussy anyhow, they worship pussy, they treat pussies like its their world,
of course, it is,

but as for the category that i belonged,
i mean my brostitute category,
i'm a pussy addict not just an ordinary sex addict,

and to me if you ain't talking about my addiction i mean
if it's not pussy, then it can never be as important as you wanted it to sound to my hearing,

am glad i'm running after everything under skirt's,
as long as i'm not running after my fellow man,

i'm safe.

before we get deep into this real world life,
don't forget about my dream world life too o,
i learnt all my stuff's 4rm dreams world

KaideeGee:
No problem, sentence case is when you use capital letters only at the beginning of a new sentence, or after a full stop. Kinda like what i am doing right now, instead of using a capital letter at the beginning of every word.

Oh, Ok Thanks Man,
You See That I've Applied Your Syntax, Lol

*EPISODE 3*
[BROLOSHO]or[BROSTITUTE]

ashewo is a title/name given to sex workers/prostitutes in yoruba language,
and since a language can't stands on it own without a borrowing words from other languages,
larger parts of nigerians refers to prostitute as ashewo,
but recently,
our nigerians hipop musicians upgraded the use of "ashewo" to "olosho"
at this current age,
"olosho" is a title given to a female ashewo
while "brolosho" is a title given to a typical brother that runs after everything that's under skirt,
you can euphemise "brolosho" in nigerian pidgin language as "brostitute"
it's all the same thing,

in real world,
i belong to the class and category of "brolosho"
pluralizing it as "brolosho's"

its not just an hobby,
sex is everything to me, to the extent that i gets high having sex, my mates smoke,drink and even sometimes sniff cracks to get high, but here am i,

addicted to pussy..
to God be the glory,
he endowed me with this 8 inches rod,
oh my GOD
sometimes it's better to be lucky than being rich.

*CONTINUATION OF EPISODE 2*

so, here is what you've been waiting for,

to make thing's easy for both you and i,
i'm writing directly wherever the spirits pushes
me
just have it in mind i'm living the JOKER (clown and brostitute)
WORLD in a real life
and
the other life in the dream world,

i have so many names in my dream world,
i don't keep to 1 name and 1 profile,
due to the fact of my numerous jobs/proffessions,

but there's something mystical about my dreamworld, and its:
i don't tends to forget all the the things i learnt from my dream world
be it, the professions, techniques, the strategy,
i've learnt so many things in my dream world and
execute them perfectly in my real world,
it's amazing isn't it?

for example, i learnt how to drive different cars in my dream world and its exactly the way it is in my realworld,

it's surprising isn't it?

i hate to have sex in my dream world,
but its my hobby in the real world,

it is mysterious isn't it?

you can call me
"brolosho"
or
"brostitute"
in my real world.