₦airaland Forum

ANd there ends the fight

Dojo u should be ashamed of those ulterance of us
shrinking or not must a MAN say all he has in mind?

The ladies do d tuking so don't put up those rubbish as a speech

Perhaps thats why its the worst suspense
and tank G O D bcause u will answer it as well

You are absolutely welcome and kindly do not hesitate to ask of any direction or act of posting info
You'll surely receive it 4rm Nairalanders in da houz

@Christiano
likes copy copy
but i'll surprise piracy

@nila
You copied the fake one i wrote this on November and its a Tech support not System Analyst
Check out for "Wife 1.0 just released" in this jokes category and you'll get the authenticated version i wrote before this edition of no clue.
A system analyst programs,developes and packages software not the User to its Hardware
so better adjust your legs in  a wild mana

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night? the monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, We can't tell you. You're not a monk.

The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks gain accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier.
The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, We can't tell you. You're not a monk. The man says, All right, all right. I'm dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?

The monks reply, You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.
The man sets about his task. Some forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are:

145,236,284,232 blades of grass and

231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.

The monks reply, Congratulations.
You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.
The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, The sound is right behind that door.
The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked.
He says, Real funny. May I have the key?
The monks give him the key, and he opens the door.
Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone.
The man demands the key to the stone door.

The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst.


Finally, the monks say, This is the last key to the last door.

The man is relieved to know the end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob,
and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound.


. . . . But I can't tell you what it is because


you have to be a monk.
Once you become a monk i'll let you know the policy but you're not a monk

likewise me
y'all are good and i also missed those who is not gonna make it 2nite

are u kidding me ?
ok give me ur Cousin>>,

Ye man dats 4rm the lips not straight 4rm the deep heart

Maybe i'll invite Bash Ali to separate this arguing being of no human enthusiasm
Whats the matter in da houz

anyway am missing the long waited Nairalanders Love on the Internet
So guys try to be ya sefs or i'll exclude babes on my invitation list of Missing Fun & nature.
Am sure u know that there is no lover,fiance in Man without babes in da houz

With BAnk PHB under the brian box of Prof. Pat Utomi it may by the year 2015

With GOd on your side
U are all good for the test
but i wasn't there to know your real names bc i was contacted for remark and surpervisory

I wish u call the bank or
Contact yemi at former Standard Trust bank HQ
He is the write one to link u up to my recommendation in the next 7 das

If you really want to solve it without Failure then try not to download online any longer except you are a certified Microsoft Pro wit an ID then you could download only with ur id and the version of Application OR Operating System you wish to download

Just two weeks today Bill Gates had stop all Security updates for Windows 98 and any NTFS Operating version will be blogged.
So stop the fake "FREE" download of any sort of software to a windows based Operating system

@ Kaylala
Let the babes be ,

@Oyinhoney
I like your gots and although there is but i think its love in fore sight
and if you keep along with it then u won't still be the one SEARCHING
just try more harder in the areas like Education , work background ,siblings and cuz ,schooling and stuffs like that (were necessary )and on a weekend try to pull his leg by asking him out to a show or your favourite hotspts
then give us feed back then i'll tell u 10 things and its ethics that men like that (hates violecne and thinks out your heart for you)fancy

internet janetyy

I think Omo sexy is da bomb
I knew Genny right 4rm skool days even before she acquire dat ugly honda car
Oge okye is trying her best but too pom pos to finish 4rm UNIZIK
I think my trianed guy is gonna make it BiG i mean Nonso Diobi
Ini Edo have the life style of Liz Benson and i think she will become the next nollywood Princess

I pray guls like ya don't hook up with me cus U'll regret ever being born and wish that ur mom did impregnate herself 4 u.
I'm really scared of Wot am gonna do to you and i know ur later confusing questions will start with ;Was he eva begotten by his father 2ru a woman?

If U're were told that its d same Damascus that made history in the 90's in all the Queens college at Enugu and Lagos then u won't speak forward. besides he has gone wild and with vehement atitude  of not wanting to hear about a She. Am really sorry to those guys u shaolin der emotions but i bet u, Its all gonna come back to u.

I must also congratulate u the armour u put with its sef defense; better hope that they did not call back 4 u

Actually the Job has been since 2005 and my pals rejects the offer likewise my sef
Its under HSE so if u fit bomb bodi ucan take the job but the prize then wasn't 10mil but 12.5 million naira if converted then to Naija handicaped naira

But with this quote, "@With my bible, AK, bullet proof vest and bomb blanket - I will take the job"
Perhaps its Heroshima will be used on u as well

Papilo, Is good and is old enough to decide besides ,another nigerian striker is along the line with portsmouth

Very religious of women!

Nice posts by mlks_baby and davidylan.

The woman in question that men refer to is as Gifted as FAVOUR. if God don't like wears, why do he choose their heart?
Has not anyone thought that the creator is also refering to unconditional altitude and Xracter of Homosexual to Hetro-sexual lifestyle?,and also war against unclothedness in sin instead of naked Truth?
I put it to you that its Ungodly to disobey GOD.Truly women has a limit in the Old testament, but are the people in this forum not awear of the clothings of recent Jerusalem women even in the US today.DOn't add nor subtract from the Divine doctrine

@GL
Women in question was the first creation to acquire knowlegde. Man sweat but Woman hectic Pain. Is it still hectic to all women 2da or much painful to men in the century of 2da

@Reverend:

He (GOD) said go ye into the world and preach to ALL creation, , baptizing them in the name of the Father,the Son and the Holy Spirit. not just a man and so You should book for an appointment with Ejere Ken

Mortgage is Good business and i think before starts one in nigeria, he should also consider the capital base,Genuine property for collateral and products/supply of a stakeholder to make purchase and lease at same time
For details Contact Intercontinental (saving and loans)Bank along Awolowo way opposite Obefemi Awolowo house and they'll guide you on what to note before you start the business

Shylinks, i noticed you have great courage to hook back to Yemisi,Thou i work as a research and i hope u'll remember the areas this person has visited within those perod . Try and alert me, may be it will yield better result to consult your old friend

This is because my Reasearch and Surveyour team have come across such name in the last 8months or there about.

Try and figure out the places and i think ,we can be close to this person soon
Besides U've began to be called OpEnlinks instead of Shy ones in Adelinks

You are in the right place you can Log on to http://www.onlinenewspapers.com/nigeria.htm www.onlinenewspapers.com/nigeria.htm if you wish know more happenings in towns,cities and other vacinities in Nigeria via Internet and the host of others www.vanguardngr.com , www.nigeriamasterweb.com/newsflash.html , www.ngrguardiannews.com or its successors like http://www.world-newspapaers.com/nigeria.html and http://www.abyznewslinks.com/nigei.htm

for Cross river State, log on to http://www.weather-forecast.com/locations/Calabar.shtml and for the weather forecast in other parts of the country visit www.accuweather.com OR wwwa.accuweather.com/index-world-forecast.asp?partner=accuweather&myadc=0&traveler=0&zipcode=,   and type the location you wish to know there concurrent forecast/activities. The site have about 15-days forecast with 5 hours pre-event on Rain, Hurricane Map,Satelite,Temperature and Travel. It also have energy solutions,services for website owers,special features,breaking weather news weather photo gallery and tropical update even with America's Wittiest Weatherman

A man died and went to hell.
There he realized that there is a different hell for each country and
decided he'll pick the pick the least painful to spend his eternity.

He went to Germany-hell and asked,'What do they do here? He was told;
'first they put you in an electric chair for an hour.
Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour.
Then the German devil comes in and flogs you for the rest of the day'.
The man does not like the sound of that,
so he moves on.He checked USA-hell as well as the British-hell and many others.
He discovered that they were all the same.

When he came to Nigerian-hell,he found that there was a long line of people waiting to get in.
Surprised ,he asked 'what do they do here?'
He was told,'first they put you in an electric chair for an hour.
Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour.
Then the Nigerian devil comes in and flogs you for the rest of the day'

But that's exactly the same as all the other hells!!!
Why are there so many people waiting to get in? The man asked.

Because there is never any electricity there, so the electric chair does not work.
The nails were paid for but never supplied, so the bed is comfortable to sleep on.
And the Nigerian devil used to be a Civil Servant,
so he comes in,signs his attendance register and goes back home for his private business.

[center]Don't be deceived HELL is REAL

and there are no chices there[/center]

OBJ, atiku and charles soludo are flying on the presidential jet. OBJ looks down and says: "I can throw down a $1,000 note and make one person happy. ATK says to him "I can throw down two $500 notes and make two people happy. Charles laughs at them and says: "I can throw down five $200 notes and make five people happy. the pilot looks at the co-pilot and tells him: "such arrogant people! I can throw three of them off the plane and make 150 million people happy. CHEERS
In 1976, obasanjo (Head of state, federal republic of Nigeria) visited our school and said we were the leaders of tomorrow. 30 years later he is still our leader (The executive President, Federal Republic of Nigeria). He used up our parents quota, he is using our quota and now he wants to use our children's quota. Who assasinated 3rd term?

GOD: Angels,do you know what I was just thinking about?

ANGEL: What were you thinking about?

GOD: Christians seem to have forgotten what kind of power they have avilable an the devil keeps on deceiving them.

ANGELS: God,exactly what are you driving at?

GOD: I have made my children in such a way that when the people of the world are sitting,they would be standing;when the world is standing,my children will stand out;When the world stands out,my children must be outstanding;ans When the devil dares the world to be outstanding,my children will be the standards to be used.

JESUS CHRIST: Christians are also forgetting the words in Ephesians 1:3

GOD: Please read it Out.

ANGELS: "Praise be to God and Father of Our Lord esus Christ who has blesed us in heavenly places with evry blessing in Christ"

ANGELS: So, what do we do now since the end is at hand?

HOLY SPIRIT: My presence is still among men and I will teach and remind Christians of all that we have discussed.I will also make sure that they pass this message on-JESUS IS COMING SOON.

JESUS CHRIST: I will also keep on intercedeing for them and stand in to them even in their weaknesses.

GOD: I will also give to all those who ask of me;seek and try to find me.the blessings I've promised them through my son Jesus Christ,will be delivered to all those who discover that I,Jehovah,I'm ready to bless them;not because of any special things that they have done,but just because I love them!

ANGELS: We are all backing the decision of the HOLY TRINITY and even the devil cannot stop us.

DEVIL: (Listening behind the gates) I ope you all heard; I will deploy more demon-troops and make sure that Christians are Prayerless,read their Bible less,and preach less.
So, child of God,Pray more,Study your Bible more and Preah the Word more.


                               Do Not Dissappoint The Holy Trinity

A store that sells husbands has just opened in FCT Abuja,Where a woman may go to choose a husband.Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights.There is however,a catch,  You may choose any man from a particular floor,or you may choose to go up a floor,but you cannot go back down exceptto exit the building.
So, a certain woman went to the store to find a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the doorreads:

Floor 1:These men have jobs and love the Lord.
The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2:These men have jobs,love the Lord and,love kids.
The third floor sign reads:


Floor 3:These men have job,love the Lord,love kids and are extrmely good looking.
"Wow", She exclaims,but feels compelled going up.She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4:These men have jobs,love the Lord,love kids,are drop-dead good looking and help   with the house work."Oh,mercy me!"She exclaims,"I can hardly stand it!"
Still,She goes to the fifth floor and it reads:

Floor 5:These men have jobs,love the Lord,love kids,are drop-dead gorgeous,help with the house work very Romantic.She is so tempted to make a choice from this floor but she taught if this floor have all this qualities then the last floor will be much better
but Then She proceded to the Sixth floor
On getting to the sixth floor,The sign reads

Floor 6:You are visitor no. 5,789,012 to this floor.There are no men on this floor.This floor exists solely as a proof that women are impossible to please and this shows that women are too difficult to impress.Kindly watch your step as you exist the building and have a nice day.

Please make use of Wife 1.0 just released already
Go to my writeup already waiting 4 u

Thatz cool but not in a nude mode stuff wt Cams fully Nasty for even 18 years old pple to feed there eyes and desperate to touch,u know?

A great note for all to read it will take just 37 seconds to read this and change your thinking

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.

Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by.

Although the other man couldn't hear the band - he could see it. In his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days and weeks passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside.

He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.

It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.

She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."

Epilogue:

There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.

Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.

If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.

"Today is a gift, that's why it is called the present."

The origin of this letter is unknown, but it brings good luck to everyone who passes it on.

Do not keep this letter.

Just forward it to your friends to whom you wish good luck.

You will see that something good will happen to you,