₦airaland Forum

I understand your point. Like you said there no crime asking anyone for sex ( that's your belief)
On the other hand, my belief is against sex outside marriage. So I think the difference in belief is the problem we have here. So it's fine. �

walkingshadow911:
how does asking someone out for sex becomes a crime?

to think you lot do gave sex to your man on request make it more difficult for me to understand again o.

this gender ehn, the world would have been a better place without you i swears.

which kind mental fvckery is this

Wow! Just saw this now.
I understand you so I cant be hurt by your words. You have spoken based on your experience, believes and mindset. So I it's fine. I only pray we all get to experience and meet great people and most importantly have an encounter with Jesus. Be blessed forever.

JohnOkolo:
You're a born fool and a disguided cunt. Least you can do is provide warmth and emotional comfort. What has her smelly pussy achieved for her this whole year, if they're not acquainted to one another she won't be invited.

Men should always endeavor to go out with ladies you are sexually active with, even a overused pussy will be saying Men can do anything to Bleep. What did your father do to Bleep your Mama madam talk stupid

Nope reside in Lagos State. Sorry for the late reply.

sageb:
Succinctly said
Do you reside in Delta state?

I know at this stage you ain't looking for advice but letting out your hurt. It's fine. We all want to have something beautiful and worthwhile with the one we love but the truth is that as far as good things happen, bad things do too. Its just that sometimes we ain't just ready.
I thank God you came to know of her reality before you got married. That is the essence of our prayer, that God should break us out of wrong relationships, reveal to us things we never knew about our intended that would have made our lives miserable. So I think God loves you very much to have revealed this to you. But it isn't for you to see everyone as the same or see ya self as someone incapable of Making the right choice. But I will strongly advice that this serve as a lesson to us . We need to be faithful to God first, before we talk about being faithful to others or wanting same from them. He has said flee from fornication and we think it doesn't matter but the truth is if someone can comfortably cheat God with you. Who told you they can't cheat on you with another.
Just to remind you " You are loved, you are indispensable, you are perfect, blessed and highly favored. I wish you the best.

For me I have never tried to commit suicide . Not that I have not gone through any hard time but anytime I pass through difficulties I say to myself "Esther, the same way the good times came and was replaced by the bad times so also this bad times will pass, yes it will pass" And after praying and even shedding tears I get ready for the next big thing.
The truth is that they is nothing you are passing through that others haven't experienced but you can win if only you can stop seeing your bad experience and start seeing Jesus and the amazing and beautiful life you want to live. You can be a part of something bigger. Incase no one have told you these" You are loved, indispensable, blessed and highly favored". They all pass, it will pass too

The only thing I observed that he doesn't see you in the picture when it comes to marriage even though he is not ready now, even when he is ready you won't be the one.
You know one thing about guys, there are so clear about what they want . If they even give you mixed signals it means they don't take you seriously but in this case he is not even giving you mixed signals. He said to you" when I'm married, my wife will be my responsibility" if you were the one he will tell clearly that when he gets married to you, you will be his responsibility. He even asked you if you want to marry as if he doesn't know you love him, he is actually using a reverse psychology on you and applying most of the manipulative ideas he might have learned on you. A guy who loves you will reassure even if it means everyday that they love you not calculating when last he told you so. He just wants to make you crave for it and the truth is that you are already booked.
If you just want a casual relationship you want to enjoy for a moment you can choose to continue but I tell you if your goal is that you have seen the man of your dreams then you are mistaken, he doesn't see you as such. He doesn't hate you , neither does he love you, he is attracted to you and you will do for the moment.
Learn not to discard warning signals and do the right things that needs to be done in a relationship if you know what I mean.
And take out time to position yourself for a person that will love you to come to you.
Thank you. God bless.

ngoziwrites:
So, I met this great guy online. After 2 weeks, we met in person and everything was perfect.

It's almost 2 months since we have been together.

He asked me out while we were together and I gladly said yes. (I have met a lot of players�). So while we were together, a discussion popped up and he said he can't discuss anything related to marriage until after 6 months. I pretended not to hear.


I don't know his financial capacity but I know he is doing okay. He controls the family business. They sell trucks, trailers and all. He is also a landlord in one of his father's houses at Festac. We stayed at a hotel. 25k per night. He paid for 2 night and I paid for one night. But during these times, we went to his house.

He said he didn't want me to come to see his place because it's the first time. And he said the house is very hot too.


Our communication is great but he doesn't look like he wants marriage soon. He has said things like marriage is hard work. He has also said in 10 years time, people will hardly be getting married.

Then one night, we were talking and he said I "see my wife as my responsibility"
I will take care of her and of cos, I am okay but I will still be very very rich, so I can't bring in any woman to suffer now" .. That's what I am sure I heard but I was scared to ask him to explain further or repeat himself.

He is actually okay, he has two cars but importantly, he has sense and he is very hard-working. But he is very principled and we have actually had several instances where he doesn't pick my calls at night. It happens often but I am starting to trust him, because sometimes I call by 5am and he picks and says he slept off. Sometimes we would be chatting on WhatsApp and after I call him 20 minutes later, he won't respond. He is not married!

So, I currently earn 450k monthly and I have been able to save something meaningful, so I can start a good business before getting married or after. I haven't stated because I don't know which one yet. I started a restaurant business when I was 23 but it failed.

If I ask him and he says 1 year, of course, I can wait. I will be 26 years next year April.

We will seeing for the 2nd time next week. I plan to ask him when he sees himself getting married but I am scared and the way he carries himself makes me reluctant to ask such.

About two weeks ago, I wanted to even surprise him with gifts. I asked for his account number and office/home address. (He picked me up the last time I traveled to see him, so I don't know the address". Well, he didn't give me these details. He said when it's time I will have them.


Two days ago, he said a friend's younger brother is getting married. He laughed and said people just dey marry. He has once asked me "You dey find husband?" jokingly-

I would like to settle before 27. Is it bad that I am thinking this way? If he says he is looking to get married in 2-3 years, i think it's a bit far. 2023 is still fine. But the problem is he doesn't really sound like marriage is on his mind. He will be 32 next year April too.

We vibe a lot. But he says I love you sparingly. Sometimes I say it and he doesn't respond, he will say tomorrow I will tell u or no, I told u yesterday.

But we are really really cool. I like him a lot and he likes me but I think I like him more. He gives me attention, I don't have to ask.

If I was 23, I won't have a problem waiting 3-4 years. But since I am ready mentally, financially, I am looking for someone who wants it within 6 months to 1 year. I can still try to do 2 years if I get someone great.

I will start with the title of this "My life is not in shape".
The truth is that if something is not in shape we try to fix it to be in shape. Be it our clothes, shoes etc why? Because there is a beauty we need to see.

Sometimes things are not in shape in our lives because we ignore it, too lazy to work on it, or we feel like it doesn't matter; like the case of you knowing how much you spend on tramadol daily but refuse to quit because of reason best known to you. It means it doesn't really matter to you.

Apart from God we are the most important stakeholder in our own life, all God help us to do is to give us strength and direction when we involve him.

You have to examine yourself, intentionally work to put things inorder in your own life.
Your girlfriend infidelity is not the problem. You are the problem. The truth is that no mater how smart we play, we attract what we are to ourselves nomatter the deception.

I believe in you, I believe you can heal, I believe your life can take shape, you just have to work in letting go of things that are Killing you. Sometimes the truth is that we are already dead even if we are still breathing.

I believe you can truly live. Life is not far from you, embrace Jesus, embrace the God kind of life, learn of him, allow him help you win over your addictions and poor choices.

You are an Overcomer, thats who you are, tramadol and immorality have no power over you. Go and meet with Jesus. Thank you for sharing and God bless.

Omokrireno:
I'm a student, i run my expenses without a single contribution from anyone.

The thing is, i am into drugs, tramadol and it takes money from me, about 4k daily. I can't even stop it for reasons best known to me. I also have a serious girlfriend that thought i have graduated because i lied to her when we started dating thinking it would be a one day fling.

Plus, she stays with me in school too. That's an extra on my expenses.

Currently i feel loosed because i suspect she is cheating on me where she is now. Being far away for like a month now, plus she doesn't want to come over until God knows when....

Same girl have had 7 abortions for her ex boyfriend that lives in the same town with her, where she is now... She had a pretty ugly past, lies upon lies, she even slept with her married boss at one time.

She just want me to trust her blindly. I don't know what to do. I feel like i have no one in my life and that i am all alone. I don't feel hooked with her at all but still, i feel like i have a loosed life.

Whenever she is around, things become very tough for me, everything suddenly freezes strangely. She even attested to it. Whenever she is not around, things start working well for me. I'm not being superstitious, like i said, she attested to it.

I don't know, maybe i am just depressed or something.

I'm not in Delta currently although I am from Delta. Thanks for reaching out.

mikigen:
Please where are u based in delta? Am in delta too would like to ke you more though.

Good morning,
It's good to be ambitious but I think it's wrong to hold people accountable for failure.

If you feel you cant make it in Africa or Nigeria to be precise. I think you should work on moving outside the country instead of quarrelling with your parents over not willing to work for a black man. You cant be living of them and dishonoring them. The white people you so admire, their kids leave homes once they clock 18 yrs or even earlier and work to fend for themselves.
And you have supportive parents you live in their house at 30 and still dishonor them and you are not out yet.
Since you feel the grass is greener on the other side, leave the house and work on travelling out to serve the white mn, you so admire.
But I tell you, success is of the mind not location cause it is portable.

First examine yourself then you can make better decisions. God bless.

So he paid for her vacation for the sole purpose of sleeping with her. Indeed some men can go to any length just to sleep with you.
And in his mind, the lady has lost. Hell no! She didn't. Atleast thank God there are ladies who still have value for themselves.

Indeed He is. His love never runs out.

The truth is that you shouldn't allow anyone to make you feel bad because you are beautiful.
People might assume wrong things about you but just be true to yourself.
Remember everyone is entitled to their own opinion, you choose the one to put into consideration.
And when it's time for you to get what you want, God will definitely bring it to pass.

Before reading this post, I still had doubt that immorality/Lust has taken over our youths and teenagers, but after the reading all the response I'm beyound shocked. People saying things with confidence based on experience and way of life. stooping so low as to advise a 21 yr old to indulge in pre marital sex. When have sex after marriage become something to be proud. No grown up to admonish him to focus on his academics, that when the right time comes and he is ready to get married, he will seek and shall find.
What made you think that they are no more virgins? is it because of your wayward lifestyles, because you have never dated any girl you have not slept with and who isn't a virgin. May God help and deliver you. So you think because the ones you've met are non virgins then they are no virgins?. what a decayed society. You lie to our young boys and girls and make them indulge in sexual immorality may God forgive you.
Young man I advise you to focus on your life, when the time comes to settle down God will bless you with your heart desires and his will for you. And if at that time she's still available and your relationship is still good, then go ahead do the right thing and marry her. But forget sexual immorality, it is a killer. You may not understand me now but tomorrow you will thank God for this. If you really a Child of God you will know that sex outside marriage is contrary to God's word. Be blessed, Be safe.

Good evening to you
Want to appreciate the fact that you realised that you need help and the boldness to take this step.
We have all made wrong choices in our lives but it takes the courageous to identify and try to correct them.

This is not a fight you can win on your own,you need someone who loves and cares about you to help you win and that person is Jesus. Go to Jesus,cry out to him (Hebrews 4:15) And to make this effective,pray with Bible passages related to sexual sin and ask him to help you.

Avoid any ponographic content.Download messages and Christian music and play them anytime you are alone.

Occupy your self;don't stay idle,meet up with friends attend church services.If you are not in any group in church,identify with atleast one.

When thought and urge for masturbation comes rebuke it not just in your mind but declare it bodly.

Be determined to stop.

Be consistent in praying and reading the word of God daily and I know you will be better.

N/B: Believe you me the devil will want to convince you that it is okay in as much as you are not hurting anybody but it is not and you are hurting yourself.
I believe in you that you can get past through this by the grace of God.Amen!

First of all want to thank you for the courage you took to voice out your frustrations.
Every one in their 20s I assure you can relate to this,it is a phase in live that comes with so much pressure. we compare ourselves with our friend,family members, neighbors that are doing well or we think have left us behind.So it's not something new. But have you taken your time to compare yourself with those your situation is better compared to theirs. If you do that I bet you, you will have uncountable reason to give God praise and appreciate those around. Nobody is your class mate in the battle of Destiny. We all have our time to shine. So you just need to take our time to think...like you said about your past,let it go so you can think of a better tomorrow; unless you want to live in the shackles of self pity and won't do anything meaningful with your life.shake if the self pity,do not dwell on the former things.
Go back to God, you are not an atheist,you still care about heaven and hell that means you still have fear for God. Go back to him,he is your creator,he knows you better than you know yourself..He is the one that can give you the empowerment you need to confront life and I assure you a new beginning is yours.
Will be praying for you and every youth going through this. I pray that God will give you the courage to go pass through this phase of life.