₦airaland Forum

what else do u want ha to do...? Text/sex nah food?...since she de pick ur calls e neva do you...?..
Are you even up to 18 why not just face ur books am sure de(studies) will really text u back

8:38 Pm saturday

**IF a China phone alarm doesnt wake you up then you must be dead**

ewoooh that person must be truely dead mah try am sha....lol..
.
.
Arrrrrhhhh gosh.... 7:45am shit!!!!
Which time i go take reach church now eh..?
Hope say that my clothe don dry..?
I think say i put alarm self...?Where that china phone self?
...choi Truely am dead...
.
.
Mah waka fast joor before church go close at least my show body for there....
.
Few meters to the church i heard...
Priest: May the peace of the lord be with yoooou...
Ewoooohhh watin i go do now oooo
* mah form say i go church say i just de come back make i just brance one shop so if people pass i follow suit?
* let me just go for the second mass with my church mind...
* mah turn back will come back for evening mass...hmmm.
All this toughts were just going on through my mind ..until i heard the melodious beat coming form one angle of that street..
Menh i was touched...up till tomorow i dont know how i found my self inside the church but i noticed my self dancing Azonto towards the church ......
***This where the whole trouble started****
menh today nah today!!!...you need to see me dancing different dance step didnt even knew when i shouted... '' church kelele..you dey feel am eh...Ngozi e show...?
While dancing as a quiet observer i noticed three things and am sure would get the answer today...
1... Why is it that if girls want to dance the only part they tend to move haphazardically is thier back side...eh..?
Is that part of the body used for dancing?
Seriously its distracting.. Somepeople are not able to focus nah...
.
.
2... The choir sang..... my hands are blessed........any one i touch... as i was about to start touching nah.. I noticed people started touching theirself first? Seriously i was totaly confused...
people can be greedy eh...
.
.
3 the choristers voice was so nice that i was about reaching an attained frequency to connect with the wave directing towards the glory of God...i noticed there was something repeling me.. Habah.. Whats that?..
i tried listening close i heard the chorister singing with phonetics...
**Email her ooo..email her....email her oooooo...Jehova email her...
Ayinekene Gymnastics email her ooo email her....
How on earth do you want me to connect with God choi...eh..
.
............Fast Forwards.................
Pastor : Any new custormer...sorry Any new Member..
Me..: if i stand up eh..make Buhari win 2015 election
Pastor: Any new member here...!!!!
.....I for no stand up ooo.....
Just the eyes wea people pour for my body i just realise say truely the Lord is bigger than all my problems..

.....i stood up......
Pastor: this one you are reluctant to come out hope the devil is not using you to manifest and stain the ministry...
Me:ahhh Pastor how can i..
Pastor: who knows we must be ready at all times... Recieve it brrrruuuuuuhhhhh
.
.
Immediatly i realised its not actually the brrruuuuh(mouth wind) that carries the anointing..its the MOUTH ODUR..
Pastor: you sturborn spirit i command you out...!!!!!
... I just turn look the usher..watin he want mah do nah, i no sturborn...
As i just dey kpese...the next thing i heard was..
Get me the HOLY CAIN......
What have i done to humanity?...different toughts just enter my mind...
+Watin carry me enter this church?
+Why i come late?
+How come that china phone no wake me up?
+Am i possesed truely possesed?
+The cain go dey big,short,long,thin?
+What actually brought me here..?
+ Why no wait for the second mass?
+I for even go back self...!!
As i wan think the last one..
+ How i go take escape..nah im i recieve one tremendous stroke wea fit make a strong bad man Loyal...
Thats when i found out that Truely his the master planner...
.
.Ssslakatahh...another stroke....
Me: Ramakatanumistrenobis...(i never knew i was talented in speaking in tongues)
..By that time tears don de form for my eyes...nah im i remember say i don collect like 4 girls number when i dey dance so i need to baf up..
The big boy in me came back...

Pastor : I say recieve it... Zlaaaataaaah
Me:Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?"why has thou forsaken me...!!!!
.
.
Even till now i dont know i left the church premises but what i can remember is that i was waving saying
'' Thank you Jesus ...thank you Jesus....''
.
.
When i came home i went to a near by store to buy some things the next thing i saw a girl walking up to me...
Girl: Brother Paschal, i hope you enjoyed today's service...
I was like...
Me: The thunder that will Fire you and that you church has definately seen Matches....
.
.
. Happy sunday peepz ..wishing you a nice week ahead...!!!!

EroticAngelina:
I'm a virgin

pintures or........

seun pls allow us chat privately...not by sending email and wait for the person,some people dont rem their email details.. ...let the friend request be sent here on Nairaland and lets have a private space where we can chat..not a forum...thank you..
.
.every thing else on nairaland is highly appreciated...thank you

i am check my profile i bet you have some thing to smile/laugh about....thank you..

i smell FP

i just came to read comments.. And when i was ur age i dont even know what is friendship talk more of girlfriend...
.
.
.
.
.
Become someone in life and you see him chasing you like his dreams...

tosyne2much:
Yeah I know but you know people misuse that act

actually some its not thier wind that does the anoiting its their mouth odour...

whats intresting here?

i have 8 packs..tho..dat means girls will faint...sexually designed

Noo..she is not pregrant oo she is PostGrant

[quote author=MizMyColi post=28024862][font=Georgia]In Group 3! We have........


3. [b]NAIJABOIY

www.nairaland.com/attachments/1864877_naijaboiy_jpeg59d7c80ecff810c6b3b805d6e6aa612d
...stained thumb....iyaf don my part..

[quote author=MizMyColi post=28024862][font=Georgia]In Group 3! We have........


3. [b]NAIJABOIY

www.nairaland.com/attachments/1864877_naijaboiy_jpeg59d7c80ecff810c6b3b805d6e6aa612d

sorry

Koncheskyk:
It's not scam bro, pinshure says it all.

that pinture aint enough bro...just drop the codes bro..u can help many people..

Koncheskyk:
Costs 2,000 only.

how do you want me to believe its not a scam?

hmm we here on NL are one big happy family...share and recieve prayers form fellow nLanders starting from me... The hand u will use and type d code will never run dry frm Gods blessings.. Amen!!!....
Save a soul

chai deriz God oo...... Save a soul

.

S.A.S

just in case

Shaquillle:
yea,4 real,ask any para gal 4 ur area wey u no ;Dyea,4 real,ask any para gal 4 ur area wey u no

how you want mah ask am ni?... Aunty abeg you de use alum take...hmm hmm?

Shaquillle:
1.I dnt tink u disvirgined her,gals nau rub alum on dere tingy nau 2 make it seem tighter(wich is actualli harmful,I heard it causes cancer).

Alum?.... Pinture or............

I.C

Bingo !!!!

Janeify:
lol....That's true but how did you got the reviews

i wish i can share dem here cos d last time i did share a useful info... Choi.. D mods here can tell

CJPresh:
Ur man?..who??
U no need money reach me like this gaan.,i broke pass shattered glass..#igboblood

sorry mah...
.. Lol.. Madam i dont really believe girls can get broke oo cos de dont like datin broke guys.. Dats why me had to remain single till i patch my self...... I really dont know bt dat igbo blood is so severe dat wen i see money i can barely look away...

CJPresh:
Dis guyyyyy
U understand what i'm saying na.,i didn't mean pay,as in the monetary aspect...lemme rephrase..i meant,being funny is more prefarable these days than being strict/mean.,if not for any other thing,u'ld be generally accepted cos u'r jovial...iwotago?

lol my man you know we igbo guys wen ever we hear anything like pay..give..sign..check..what time..last price..money comes to our mind.. Pls dont be offended..MONEY MUST BE MADE...

CJPresh:
Dats good jare..being funny pays more these days.,unlike we d strict ones.

uhh..i heard money.... ** unpluges ear.. Washed dem wit jik...plugs dem back.. Tell me does being funny pay?

Janeify:
This will help since they no longer give out the novel

hmmm sure.. Am not that afraid.. Am sure the pirated one will soon be out..lets just watch and see