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 Politics › Re: Bayo Omoboriowo At His Wedding Today (Photos) by Familyfirst: 1:48pm On Aug 01, 2015 |
360metrosports: |
| Family › Re: My Wife Says Her Libido Is Dead. by Familyfirst: 9:50pm On Jul 30, 2015 |
jarkbauer:Go and get this book SECRETS OF AN IRRESISTIBLE WIFE for her fast,it is available on Konga.com |
| Family › Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by Familyfirst: 9:46pm On Jul 30, 2015 |
prinwa:It is to late to cry Visit familyparliament.com to get better understanding of handling long distance marriage. |
| Jobs/Vacancies › Re: Getting Ready For Job Interview – How To Keep Calm by Familyfirst: 8:26pm On Jul 30, 2015 |
EduRegard:Before you go for any Job interview,you better visit empowerment section of www.familyparliament.com
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| Romance › Re: 8 Things Ladies Do That Make Guys Tag Them Hungry Ladies by Familyfirst: 8:22pm On Jul 30, 2015 |
12345DKO:
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| Romance › Re: 8 Things Ladies Do That Make Guys Tag Them Hungry Ladies by Familyfirst: 8:21pm On Jul 30, 2015 |
wristbangle:They should visit www.familyparliament.com to learn
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| Christianity Etc › Re: Adeboye's Mount Carmel Prayer Mountain In Osun State (photos) by Familyfirst: 8:13pm On Jul 30, 2015 |
| Romance › How To Stay Faithful To Your Spouse by Familyfirst(op): 12:24pm On Jul 30, 2015 |
v Decide and be committed to the fact that you will never have extra-marital affairs. v Do not keep or allow secret sexual feelings and fantasies to go unaddressed v Focus all sexual fantasies intentionally on your spouse. v Set limits. Don’t share intimate details of your relationship with friends of the opposite sex. v Do not permit an intimate friendship with an opposite s*x to grow beyond boundaries v Do not keep friends of the opposite sex, be they colleagues, classmates, committee members, church members, etc. v Be patient with your mate on what constitutes appropriate behaviour. v Pay attention to your feelings. Stop anything that may give wrong impression v Build an accountability network of godly friends who know you well enough to identify a change in your behaviour and attitude and who can pull you back from edges. v Never think you are not vulnerable. Maintain close friendship with those of the same s*x as well as godly and faithful couples. v Discipline your sexual thought. Never allow it to steal your salvation. v Make sure your partner enjoys you. v Be content with your spouse and enjoy s*x with him or her only. v Be quick to settle disputes. Do not allow the devil to use it as a stronghold. v Be prayerful, committing your life and marriage into God’s hands Accepting your partner the way he or she is. Never think any other person can be better. The sexual enjoyment you are looking for in other women is loaded in your wife with security. Always remember that you are going to pay dearly for extra-marital sex. There is no “free sex” anywhere; you may even pay with your dear life. Consider what you are likely to lose if you go into extra-marital affairs.Sex expert say sexual enjoyment is just eight (  seconds ‘enjoyment’, which may earn you guilt, fear, failure, sexually transmitted diseases and death.v Avoid offering “lift” to people of the opposite s*x in your car. It opens the door for an unholy alliance. v If you are not enjoying s*x with your partner, sit down together and discuss it. Discussing s*x with your spouse is not a sin. v Don’t hesitate to see a professional marriage counsellor when you often argue about s*x in your marriage. v Read Christian books and magazines that will teach you godly ways to enjoy s*x in your marriage v Be content with your partner. He or she is the best person God can give to you. v Avoid night-crawling and alcohol consumption. v Let your boss, colleagues and any other members of the opposite s*x close to you know that you are married and make it clear to them that you are faithful to your partner. v Avoid unnecessary physical contact with those of the opposite sex. v Women should dress properly because the way you dress is the way you will be addressed. “Never display your unclothedness! It belongs to your husband only. v Make up your mind to derive every sexual satisfaction you want from your spouse. It is safe, holy, dignifying, economical and satisfying. v Never allow your sexual desire to dictate what you will do. It is a feeling, be in charge. Control it or it will ruin your colourful destiny. v Pray and commit your emotion into the hands of God. http://www.familyparliament.com/727/how-to-stay-faithful-to-your-spouse |
| Health › Re: Foods To Avoid If You Plan To Have Sex by Familyfirst: 3:44pm On Jul 29, 2015 |
dre11:This is fantastically fantastic. Get more at www.familyparliament.com Africa's no1 family forum
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| Family › Re: 16 Costly Mistakes Married Women Make by Familyfirst: 3:35pm On Jul 29, 2015 |
delectablegyal:Let them visit www.familyparliament.com to avoid these costly mistakes
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| Family › Re: Help! My Wife Won't Sleep In The Same Room With Me by Familyfirst: 12:55pm On Jul 29, 2015 |
Nnemuka:Need www.familyparliament.com. Fast,don't wait,something must be done
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| Family › Re: Help! My Wife Won't Sleep In The Same Room With Me by Familyfirst: 12:53pm On Jul 29, 2015 |
SisiGbeborun:You and your wife. Should visit www.familyparliament.com for deep KNOWLDGE about family life,it will solve this problems.
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| Education › Re: FG Reverses JAMB's Policies On Admission!!! by Familyfirst: 11:55am On Jul 29, 2015 |
leo2sexy:I think we should care more for the future of our Children instead of playing politics. www.familyparliament.com |
| Foreign Affairs › Re: Charles Antwi Tries To Kill Mahama, Ghanaian President (Photo) by Familyfirst: 9:51pm On Jul 28, 2015 |
onosprince:He was not well brought up,how I wish his parents are members of www.familyparliament.com they would have learnt how to raise him in a responsible way. |
| Politics › Re: Controversy As Alaafin Of Oyo Prays With Queens In Front Row At Prayer Ground by Familyfirst: 9:49pm On Jul 28, 2015 |
INTROVERT:family life is what matter most www.familyparliament.com |
| Business › 50 Inspitrational Quotes To Motivate You Today. by Familyfirst(op): 3:28pm On Jul 28, 2015 |
Great quotes can be inspirational and motivational. Here are 50 of the best inspirational quotes to motivate you: Nothing is impossible, the word itself says “I’m possible”! —Audrey Hepburn I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. —Maya Angelou Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right. —Henry Ford Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence. —Vince Lombardi Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. —Charles Swindoll If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough. —Oprah Winfrey Remember no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. —Eleanor Roosevelt I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination. —Jimmy Dean Believe you can and you’re halfway there. —Theodore Roosevelt To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart. —Eleanor Roosevelt Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears. —Les Brown Do or do not. There is no try. —Yoda Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve. —Napoleon Hill Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do, so throw off the bowlines, sail away from safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore, Dream, Discover. —Mark Twain I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed. —Michael Jordan Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value. —Albert Einstein I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions. —Stephen Covey When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it. —Henry Ford The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any. —Alice Walker The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. —Amelia Earhart It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light. —Aristotle Onassis Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant. —Robert Louis Stevenson The only way to do great work is to love what you do. —Steve Jobs Change your thoughts and you change your world. —Norman Vincent Peale The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me. —Ayn Rand If you hear a voice within you say "you cannot paint," then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced. —Vincent Van Gogh Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs. —Farrah Gray Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck. —Dalai Lama You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have. —Maya Angelou I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear. —Rosa Parks I would rather die of passion than of boredom. —Vincent van Gogh A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty. —Unknown A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.——Albert Einstein What’s money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do. —Bob Dylan I have been impressed with the urgency of doing. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Being willing is not enough; we must do. —Leonardo da Vinci If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else. —Booker T. Washington Limitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless. —Jamie Paolinetti If you’re offered a seat on a rocket ship, don’t ask what seat! Just get on. —Sheryl Sandberg Certain things catch your eye, but pursue only those that capture the heart. —Ancient Indian Proverb When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us. —Helen Keller Everything has beauty, but not everyone can see. —Confucius How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world. —Anne Frank When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down “happy”. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life. —John Lennon The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be. —Ralph Waldo Emerson We can’t help everyone, but everyone can help someone. —Ronald Reagan Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear. —George Addair We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light. —Plato Nothing will work unless you do. —Maya Angelou I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the water to create many ripples. —Mother Teresa What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality. —Plutarch http://www.familyparliament.com/570/50-inspirational-quotes-to-motivate-you 1 Like |
| Crime › Re: Neighbour Rapes Two-year-old Girl In Lagos by Familyfirst: 2:57pm On Jul 28, 2015 |
dre11:this is wickedness in the highest order,he should rot in Jail.
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| Politics › Re: 38 People Dead: Boko Haram On The Run, Chadian Forces In Pursuit by Familyfirst: 2:55pm On Jul 28, 2015 |
Freemanan:t gallant soldiers.
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| Politics › Re: Reactions Over Oshiomhole's Allegations That An Ex Minister Stole $6billion by Familyfirst: 12:17pm On Jul 28, 2015 |
exlinkleads: |
| Education › 8 Guaranteed Ways To Self Confidence by Familyfirst(op): 12:15pm On Jul 28, 2015 |
Successful people often exude confidence—it’s obvious that they believe in themselves and what they’re doing. It isn’t their success that makes them confident, however. The confidence was there first. Think about it: Doubt breeds doubt. Why would anyone believe in you, your ideas, or your abilities if you didn’t believe in them yourself? It takes confidence to reach for new challenges. People who are fearful or insecure tend to stay within their comfort zones. But comfort zones rarely expand on their own. That’s why people who lack confidence get stuck in dead-end jobs and let valuable opportunities pass them by. Unconfident people often feel at the mercy of external circumstances. Successful people aren’t deterred by obstacles, which is how they rise up in the first place. No one is stopping you from what you want to accomplish but yourself. It’s time to remove that barrier of self-doubt. Confidence is a crucial building block in a successful career, and embracing it fully will take you places you never thought possible. With proper guidance and hard work, anyone can become more confident. Once you pass a certain point, you’ll feel it from the inside. Here are eight bulletproof strategies to get you there. 1. Take an Honest Look at Yourself Johnny Unitas said, “There is a difference between conceit and confidence. Conceit is bragging about yourself. Confidence means you believe you can get the job done.” In other words, confidence is earned through hard work, and confident people are self-aware. When your confidence exceeds your abilities, you’ve crossed the line into arrogance. You need to know the difference. True confidence is firmly planted in reality. To grow your confidence, it’s important to do an honest and accurate self-assessment of your abilities. If there are weaknesses in your skill set, make plans for strengthening these skills and find ways to minimize their negative impact. Ignoring your weaknesses or pretending they’re strengths won’t make them go away. Likewise, having a clear understanding of your strengths enables you to shake off some of the more groundless feedback and criticism you can get in a busy, competitive work environment—and that builds confidence. 2. Say No Research conducted at the University of California in San Francisco showed that the more difficulty that you have saying no, the more likely you are to experience stress, burnout, and even depression, all of which erode confidence. Confident people know that saying no is healthy, and they have the self-esteem to make their nos clear. When it’s time to say no, confident people avoid phrases such as “I don’t think I can” or “I’m not certain.” They say no with confidence because they know that saying no to a new commitment honors their existing commitments and gives them the opportunity to successfully fulfill them. 3. Get Right with Your Boss A troubled relationship with the boss can destroy even the most talented person’s confidence. It’s hard to be confident when your boss is constantly criticizing you or undermining your contributions. Try to identify where the relationship went wrong and decide whether there’s anything you can do to get things back on track. If the relationship is truly unsalvageable, it may be time to move on to something else. 4. Seek Out Small Victories Confident people tend to challenge themselves and compete, even when their efforts yield small victories. Small victories build new androgen receptors in the areas of the brain responsible for reward and motivation. This increase in androgen receptors increases the influence of testosterone, which further increases your confidence and your eagerness to tackle future challenges. When you have a series of small victories, the boost in your confidence can last for months. 5. Find a Mentor Nothing builds confidence like a talented, experienced person showing you the way and patting you on the back for a job well done. A good mentor can act as a mirror, giving you the perspective you need to believe in yourself. Knowledge breeds confidence—knowing where you stand helps you focus your energy more effectively. Beyond that, a mentor can help educate you on some of the cultural inner workings of your organization. Knowing the unwritten rules of how to get things done in your workplace is a great confidence booster. 6. Schedule Exercise A study conducted at the Eastern Ontario Research Institute found that people who exercised twice a week for 10 weeks felt more competent socially, academically, and athletically. They also rated their body image and self-esteem higher. Best of all, rather than the physical changes in their bodies being responsible for the uptick in confidence, it was the immediate, endorphin-fueled positivity from exercise that made all the difference. Schedule your exercise to make certain it happens, and your confidence will stay up. 7. Dress for Success Like it or not, how we dress has a huge effect on how people see us. Things like the color, cut, and style of the clothes we wear—and even our accessories—communicate loudly. But the way we dress also affects how we see ourselves. Studies have shown that people speak differently when they’re dressed up compared to when they’re dressed casually. To boost your confidence, dress well. Choose clothing that reflects who you are and the image you want to project, even if that means spending more time at the mall and more time getting ready in the morning. 8. Be Assertive, Not Aggressive Aggressiveness isn’t confidence; it’s bullying. And when you’re insecure, it’s easy to slip into aggressiveness without intending to. Practice asserting yourself without getting aggressive (and trampling over someone else in the process). You won’t be able to achieve this until you learn how to keep your insecurities at bay, and this will increase your confidence. Bringing It All Together Your confidence is your own to develop or undermine. Confidence is based on reality. It’s the steadfast knowledge that goes beyond simply “hoping for the best.” It ensures that you’ll get the job done—that’s the power of true confidence. How else would you suggest people increase their confidence? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below as I learn just as much from you as you do from me. Dr. Travis Bradberry http://www.familyparliament.com/623/8-guaranteed-ways-to-boost-self-confidence |
| Business › 8 Guaranteed Ways To Build Self Confidence by Familyfirst(op): 12:09pm On Jul 28, 2015 |
Successful people often exude confidence—it’s obvious that they believe in themselves and what they’re doing. It isn’t their success that makes them confident, however. The confidence was there first. Think about it: Doubt breeds doubt. Why would anyone believe in you, your ideas, or your abilities if you didn’t believe in them yourself? It takes confidence to reach for new challenges. People who are fearful or insecure tend to stay within their comfort zones. But comfort zones rarely expand on their own. That’s why people who lack confidence get stuck in dead-end jobs and let valuable opportunities pass them by. Unconfident people often feel at the mercy of external circumstances. Successful people aren’t deterred by obstacles, which is how they rise up in the first place. No one is stopping you from what you want to accomplish but yourself. It’s time to remove that barrier of self-doubt. Confidence is a crucial building block in a successful career, and embracing it fully will take you places you never thought possible. With proper guidance and hard work, anyone can become more confident. Once you pass a certain point, you’ll feel it from the inside. Here are eight bulletproof strategies to get you there. 1. Take an Honest Look at Yourself Johnny Unitas said, “There is a difference between conceit and confidence. Conceit is bragging about yourself. Confidence means you believe you can get the job done.” In other words, confidence is earned through hard work, and confident people are self-aware. When your confidence exceeds your abilities, you’ve crossed the line into arrogance. You need to know the difference. True confidence is firmly planted in reality. To grow your confidence, it’s important to do an honest and accurate self-assessment of your abilities. If there are weaknesses in your skill set, make plans for strengthening these skills and find ways to minimize their negative impact. Ignoring your weaknesses or pretending they’re strengths won’t make them go away. Likewise, having a clear understanding of your strengths enables you to shake off some of the more groundless feedback and criticism you can get in a busy, competitive work environment—and that builds confidence. 2. Say No Research conducted at the University of California in San Francisco showed that the more difficulty that you have saying no, the more likely you are to experience stress, burnout, and even depression, all of which erode confidence. Confident people know that saying no is healthy, and they have the self-esteem to make their nos clear. When it’s time to say no, confident people avoid phrases such as “I don’t think I can” or “I’m not certain.” They say no with confidence because they know that saying no to a new commitment honors their existing commitments and gives them the opportunity to successfully fulfill them. 3. Get Right with Your Boss A troubled relationship with the boss can destroy even the most talented person’s confidence. It’s hard to be confident when your boss is constantly criticizing you or undermining your contributions. Try to identify where the relationship went wrong and decide whether there’s anything you can do to get things back on track. If the relationship is truly unsalvageable, it may be time to move on to something else. 4. Seek Out Small Victories Confident people tend to challenge themselves and compete, even when their efforts yield small victories. Small victories build new androgen receptors in the areas of the brain responsible for reward and motivation. This increase in androgen receptors increases the influence of testosterone, which further increases your confidence and your eagerness to tackle future challenges. When you have a series of small victories, the boost in your confidence can last for months. 5. Find a Mentor Nothing builds confidence like a talented, experienced person showing you the way and patting you on the back for a job well done. A good mentor can act as a mirror, giving you the perspective you need to believe in yourself. Knowledge breeds confidence—knowing where you stand helps you focus your energy more effectively. Beyond that, a mentor can help educate you on some of the cultural inner workings of your organization. Knowing the unwritten rules of how to get things done in your workplace is a great confidence booster. 6. Schedule Exercise A study conducted at the Eastern Ontario Research Institute found that people who exercised twice a week for 10 weeks felt more competent socially, academically, and athletically. They also rated their body image and self-esteem higher. Best of all, rather than the physical changes in their bodies being responsible for the uptick in confidence, it was the immediate, endorphin-fueled positivity from exercise that made all the difference. Schedule your exercise to make certain it happens, and your confidence will stay up. 7. Dress for Success Like it or not, how we dress has a huge effect on how people see us. Things like the color, cut, and style of the clothes we wear—and even our accessories—communicate loudly. But the way we dress also affects how we see ourselves. Studies have shown that people speak differently when they’re dressed up compared to when they’re dressed casually. To boost your confidence, dress well. Choose clothing that reflects who you are and the image you want to project, even if that means spending more time at the mall and more time getting ready in the morning. 8. Be Assertive, Not Aggressive Aggressiveness isn’t confidence; it’s bullying. And when you’re insecure, it’s easy to slip into aggressiveness without intending to. Practice asserting yourself without getting aggressive (and trampling over someone else in the process). You won’t be able to achieve this until you learn how to keep your insecurities at bay, and this will increase your confidence. Bringing It All Together Your confidence is your own to develop or undermine. Confidence is based on reality. It’s the steadfast knowledge that goes beyond simply “hoping for the best.” It ensures that you’ll get the job done—that’s the power of true confidence. How else would you suggest people increase their confidence? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below as I learn just as much from you as you do from me. Dr. Travis Bradberry http://www.familyparliament.com/623/8-guaranteed-ways-to-boost-self-confidence |
| Family › 5 Ways Kids Who Grew Up In A Single Parent Home Love Differently by Familyfirst(op): 10:56am On Jul 28, 2015 |
Children of single parents grow up seeing a very different example of romantic love than those who grew up in a “normal” household. Namely, none at all. Growing up with loving parents can fill you with positive examples of how to handle relationships when you’re older. Even having two parents who hate each others’ guts can demonstrate what NOT to do. Either way, it’s a learning experience. But children of a single parent are left to gain that experience on their own. It’s a lot like taking on a new job with no training: you learn the most in the field, but it’s nice to have a heads up of what to expect. That’s not to say that children of single parents are helpless; we just have to learn some things on our own, and overall, we value different qualities in our partner. 1. We value inner strength and perseverance. Growing up, my mom alternated between working two and three jobs at a time, getting a degree, and raising 3 boys on her own. It was easy to see it wasn’t easy. She could’ve easily given up at any point but she stuck through it, and my brothers and I only have her to thank for not crumbling under the massive pressure. In growing up with a strong mother, I greatly admire that trait in others. It shows character and lets you know the other person isn’t just going to give up when things get tough. 2. We’re more independent, so give us room to breathe. If you’re the child of a single parent and you aren’t in the upper class, you’re probably a “latchkey kid.” That is, you spend a lot of your after-school time unsupervised while your parent is working. You learn to cook, take care of your things, and otherwise fend for yourself. Years of that independence causes you to grow used to having alone time. I’ll often feel guilty when my girlfriend helps me with something, because I’m so used to taking care of so many things myself — even though she loves me and is more than happy to lend a hand. I can’t help it, and I imagine it stems from how guilty I’d feel if my mom came home from working her second job and I’d only created more work for her in the meantime while she was doing her best to provide for us. So, don’t take it personally if you’re dating a child of a single parent. This is just standard-issue emotional baggage that comes with the territory. 3. We’re heavily influenced by the parent who raised us. When you have both parents, I imagine you get a more balanced view on dating and life in general. Growing up with a single mom, I disproportionately received the female perspective on a lot of issues. I feel like that’s caused me to be more keenly aware of women’s needs and emotions in relationships. Possibly to the detriment of knowing my own needs and emotions … it’s impossible to know. I’d wager that someone growing up with only their dad might have a few more “manly” traits, while maybe not understanding or relating to women as easily. And perhaps a guy raised by his mom might get you more, but may lack in other character traits a father would pass on. Obviously, everyone is different, and the longer you live the more you can make up for these deficits. But don’t be surprised if a dude with no dad never learned to be chivalrous, or a guy with no mom doesn’t realize “I’m fine” means the polar opposite. 4. We might be a little afraid of commitment. When you see the effects a broken relationship can have, and live through them, it might make you a little hesitant to commit for fear of making the same mistakes. If your significant other is a child of a single parent, it should come as no surprise if they aren’t gung-ho about marriage or kids. They don’t want to cause the same home situation for someone else that they had themselves. It’s not that they’re anti-commitment, it’s just that it might take them a lot longer to warm up to the idea. Patience is a virtue. 5. We’re strong enough to handle it, so you can lean on us. Having no parent around a lot of the time when you’re young means having to grow up a little quicker. It’s not easy, but those tribulations give you strength. And what’s the point of strength if you don’t put it to use? Don’t be afraid to turn to your single parent partner if you need to. They can take it, and you’ll have someone you know you can count on when times are tough. We’re all a product of how we grew up. Use that knowledge to better understand your partner, and it can only improve your relationship. http://www.familyparliament.com/615/5-ways-kids-who-grew-up-in-a-single-parent-home-love-differe 6 Likes |
| Family › 3 Weeds To Pull From Your Marriage Garden by Familyfirst(op): 10:38am On Jul 28, 2015 |
It's important to deal with these threats to your marriage immediately, ruthlessly, and consistently. By Alistair Begg To plant a garden is to have weeds. That's the way it goes. They appear overnight, staring up defiantly and threatening to take over the flower bed we have so carefully planted. My wife is always very wary when I begin one of my manic onslaughts on the weeds, for ignorance coupled with frustration and haste can produce quite a mess. She is usually at hand to point out, "Honey that's an herb, not a weed!" However, even with these necessary cautions, I know of only one way to deal with weeds: Pull them immediately, ruthlessly, and consistently. As in our garden, so, too, in our marriages. Not all weeds are ugly. In fact, sometimes they make an attractive addition to the plant life. But we cannot be seduced by their attraction. They must come out or we will regret it. Neglect will find our gardens overgrown in no time at all, and in need of a major work project, usually involving outside help. There are obviously many weeds that can threaten a marriage garden. Here are three of the most common. Weed #1: Taking each other for granted I was the guest of a family in Australia, and we had just finished our meal. In the absence of a dishwasher (a mechanical one, that is), I volunteered to help with the task. In declining my offer, the young wife assured me that it would be taken care of by her husband, Lionel. Then she turned and said, "Oh, Lionel loves doing the dishes, don't you, Lionel?" Neither she nor I was prepared for Lionel's response and the underlying sense of bitterness that accompanied it: "No, I don't enjoy doing the dishes." He then made clear that the reason he had been doing the dishes ever since they had been married (some 12 years) was because of his frustration with the way his wife cleaned the house. Her assumption had been all wrong, and Lionel had never discussed the matter with her in a constructive manner. I spent the remainder of my stay trying to help this young couple pull some large weeds from their marital garden. Not every situation is as serious as this one, but each couple must learn to eliminate the selfishness that is often at the root of taking one another for granted. Husbands, for example, are called to live in consideration of their wives. They must ensure that the passing of time and familiarity with routine does not deaden their sense of wonder and awe for the immense privilege of waking up each morning next to this woman who is an express gift of God. We can check how well we are doing in this area by listening to ourselves talk. How often do we use the words, "Thank you" or "I appreciate you" or "I can't do without you"? We might check to see when we last sent a special card or flowers or came home early so that they could have some time of their own free from other responsibilities. If you find that you have been ignoring a taking-my-spouse-for-granted weed, pull it up right now and fill the gaping hole with flowers of appreciation or thoughtful words of gratitude. If you are stuck for words, close your eyes and imagine what you would have said in your courting days. Digging deep into that well will bring up sweet water. Weed #2: The comparison trap Over dinner, a wife tells her husband, "I was over having coffee with Jean today, and she said her husband is teaching the men's Bible study, memorizing all of 2 Timothy, and considering an evening class at the local seminary." If you were the husband, wouldn't you fill in the inferred, unspoken conclusion: Why can't you be more like him? The husband was well aware of his need to grow spiritually. In fact, as he had been driving home that very evening he had congratulated himself for maintaining a steady Bible reading program during the past month. That was the first time he had been so consistent. But his joy instantly evaporated as a result of his wife's unhelpful comparison. Even more common are critical comments regarding physical characteristics. "I saw Jerry down at the courts. Now there's someone who has managed to keep a waistline!" Instinctively the husband sucks in his stomach and regrets the gradual increase of his belt size. It may even be worse when the wife is on the receiving end of a husband's comparison. Some insensitive men use anorexic, waif-like supermodels as a standard by which they compare all other women. A much better strategy is found in the wisdom of Solomon in Proverbs 5:18-20: May you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer—may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love. Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress? Why embrace the bosom of another man's wife? Solomon's challenge is to rejoice in the wife of your youth, not a wife who looks like a youth. Faithfulness across years brings a deepening sense of love and appreciation, but engaging in mental comparisons introduces seeds of disintegration. This kind of love and encouragement can only come about when we resist the temptation to compare our spouses unfavorably with others in terms of body, mind, and spirit. Such comparisons are weeds that can strangle even the best of relationships. Weed #3: Ignoring common sense boundaries If it has not already become an axiom in your marriage, then make it one as of today: Do not take someone of the opposite s*x into precincts that are the exclusive domain of your spouse. When a man tells me he "communicates" far better with the lady in the office than he does with his wife, the danger signals are flashing. It's eye-opening to hear how often an extramarital affair begins with casual conversation around the water cooler, while having coffee together, or in some other "innocent" arena. Yet any time one person takes a discussion into new levels of intimacy beyond what he or she shares with a spouse, the weed sprouts and begins to bloom. Job influences are crucial simply because much of our week is spent with business associates. That prolonged and regular contact may easily lead to dangerously close associations. Unless we draw clear limits to our associations and resolve not to transgress those limits, we will naturally drift toward companionships that could harm ourselves and our marriage. The businessman, like the preacher, should heed Paul's advice: "Treat the younger women as sisters" (1 Timothy 5:2). No sounder approach is possible. Who says marriage has to be this way? The ever-increasing percentages of failed marriages should indicate that secular society's approach to marriage, with its lack of absolutes, is not working. A significant number of movies and television shows have challenged the institution of marriage under the disguise of humor. It is important now, as in every age, that we learn the times in which we are living so that we can avoid its temptations and challenge its proud assertions. Many of the things that are accepted as natural—perhaps even beautiful—are nothing more than weeds. No matter how much effort goes into the preparation and planting of a garden, it will all be in vain if the weeds are not dealt with. Let us then resolve to tackle them immediately, ruthlessly, and consistently. http://www.familyparliament.com/619/3-weeds-to-pull-from-your-marriage-garden 1 Like |
| Christianity Etc › Re: Nairaland Christian Singles Thread (no Holds Barred) by Familyfirst: 10:59am On Jul 24, 2015 |
toba:I think reading books,attending seminars and joining this forum in which I am a member www.familyparliament.com will be of great help to Christians Youth. The site work like nairaland but the niche is family,marriage and relationship. |
| Family › Re: You Won't Have Problem With Your Mother In Law If You Follow These Steps by Familyfirst: 8:37pm On Jul 22, 2015 |
AliuAbdulwahab: |
| Romance › Re: Some Professions That Will Likely Lead You To Divorce. by Familyfirst: 8:34pm On Jul 22, 2015 |
Sile12:No matter your proffesion your marriage can work if and only if you learn how to make it work. i reccomend www.Familyparliament.com 1 Like |
| Family › Re: My Second Husband Would Leave His Job To Pick Up My first husbandSon,Wake Me Up by Familyfirst: 8:00pm On Jul 22, 2015 |
SadeK:This kind of thought was what destroy your first marriage avoid it. You better visit www.familyparliament.com daily to learn about marriage. |
| Culture › Re: Growing Up In A Nigerian Home-The 12 Common Stories by Familyfirst: 2:16pm On Jul 22, 2015 |
ebbymayox:good www.familyparliament.com |
| Culture › Re: Growing Up In A Nigerian Home-The 12 Common Stories by Familyfirst: 2:11pm On Jul 22, 2015 |
ebbymayox:This is the whole truth about Nigeria families,fantastic write up,just like what I normally read on www.familyparliament.com |
| Romance › 11 Things To Do To Your Spouse This Holiday by Familyfirst(op): 12:19pm On Jul 17, 2015 |
Bisi Adewale It is a long weekend,no work till Tuesday? Waoh,this is great. What better time to rekindle love in your marriage and overhaul your love to your spouse by doing the following during this holiday. 1) STAY LONGER IN BED: Stay longer than usual in bed together,don't jump out in your usual way. Snuggle together,it is even raining now(is it raining in your area too) Waoh. enjoy the moment. 2) SPEND QUALITY TIME TOGETHER During this time,spend quality time alone together,away from the Children and other things,you cant build a great marriage if you are never together,spend quality time together during holiday. 3) TALK,TALK AND TALK Don't just be together,talk,discus,open up to each other,talk deeply,have heartfelt discussion,recapture your marriage. 4) GIST,YES,GIST Many will only talk about necessary things like house rent,School fees,lesson fees,food etc. why this is good,go beyond that gist,talk about things that not are really necessary,friends don't just talk,they gist. 5) WATCH A MOVIE TOGETHER Get a movie,watch it together,just the two of you may be with the Children. 6) CREATE TIME TO PRAY TOGETHER What better time to pray together if not this period,spend quality tome talking to your maker together 7) GET A GIFT FOR HIM OR HER Dash out,come back with a gift just for your spouse,just to say "I love you" RENEW YOUR LOVERenew your love for each other at this period,reconnect with each other,rekindle your love for each other. 9) TAKE TIME TO REST: City life may be so stressful,use this holiday period to have adequate rest together and break the yoke of stress on your family. Remember those who refuse to rest will put their health under arrest. 10)GO OUT TOGETHER Stroll out together,go out together, hand in hand,two jolly friends,two love birds. 11) MAKE LOVE: Yes,take time to explore the sexual aspect of your marriage,enjoy the moment like in honey moon days. http://www.familyparliament.com/313/11-things-to-do-to-your-spouse-this-holiday |
| Family › 11 Things To Do To Your Spouse This Holiday by Familyfirst(op): 12:07pm On Jul 17, 2015 |
Bisi Adewale It is a long weekend,no work till Tuesday? Waoh,this is great. What better time to rekindle love in your marriage and overhaul your love to your spouse by doing the following during this holiday. 1) STAY LONGER IN BED: Stay longer than usual in bed together,don't jump out in your usual way. Snuggle together,it is even raining now(is it raining in your area too) Waoh. enjoy the moment. 2) SPEND QUALITY TIME TOGETHER During this time,spend quality time alone together,away from the Children and other things,you cant build a great marriage if you are never together,spend quality time together during holiday. 3) TALK,TALK AND TALK Don't just be together,talk,discus,open up to each other,talk deeply,have heartfelt discussion,recapture your marriage. 4) GIST,YES,GIST Many will only talk about necessary things like house rent,School fees,lesson fees,food etc. why this is good,go beyond that gist,talk about things that not are really necessary,friends don't just talk,they gist. 5) WATCH A MOVIE TOGETHER Get a movie,watch it together,just the two of you may be with the Children. 6) CREATE TIME TO PRAY TOGETHER What better time to pray together if not this period,spend quality tome talking to your maker together 7) GET A GIFT FOR HIM OR HER Dash out,come back with a gift just for your spouse,just to say "I love you" RENEW YOUR LOVERenew your love for each other at this period,reconnect with each other,rekindle your love for each other. 9) TAKE TIME TO REST: City life may be so stressful,use this holiday period to have adequate rest together and break the yoke of stress on your family. Remember those who refuse to rest will put their health under arrest. 10)GO OUT TOGETHER Stroll out together,go out together, hand in hand,two jolly friends,two love birds. 11) MAKE LOVE: Yes,take time to explore the sexual aspect of your marriage,enjoy the moment like in honey moon days. http://www.familyparliament.com/313/11-things-to-do-to-your-spouse-this-holiday
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| Health › Health School Live In Lagos!!!!!!!! by Familyfirst(op): 1:06pm On Jul 16, 2015 |
HEALTH SCHOOL LIVE IN LAGOS!!!!!!!! You don't need to die young,you need not suffer with that sickness though it is tagged incurable,you can now learn how to get healed by living in healthy way,curing yourself by wisdom. a man of God once Said "you don't need more MEDICATION,you need more EDUCATION" You can now attend RAPHA HEALTHY LIVING INSTITUTE (HLI) a Health school base in Lagos Nigeria,where you will be taught how to handle diabetes,arthritis,Cancer,leukemia,infertility,Fibroid,high blood pressure and any disease know to man kind naturally,how to use get your healing from your Kitchen instead of hospital wards. The next session is: 31st August to 4th of September 2015 Venue: Shepherd flock international 18,Shogunle Steet,Bank Anthony Way,Abule Onigbagbo,Behind Etiebet's Place,Ikeja Lagos. 08136686859. Website: www.tsfhli.com READ THESE AMAZING TESTIMONIES FROM THE SCHOOL I am so Inspired by Rev Tony’s teachings. I happened to have listened and watched Rev Tony’s introductory CD on the cause of disease and a dietary plan suggestion. Having read the Paul C. Braggs books on fasting and healthy living, I was now convinced that Braggs writings were not simple illusions. Rev confirmed this in his CD I watched. I am now careful with the way I eat food. The results are there, visible and clear. My health ever since is not the same, Praise God. Peng T. Francis, Cameroun My little boy of 2 years had serious digestion problems, he went through 2 blood transfusions, he was always hospitalized. I read Rev Tony’s book on juicing for health and pleasure. I came for HLI training and I knew there was a turn around when I met him. My son is better now, he is healthy with all the supplements I give him. Today I am also into juices and smoothies production. To God be the glory have been able to put to practice all i have learnt from the training. Mrs E. Adebayo I was diagnosed with cancer of the Lung, I was coughing profusely, I did several test and X-rays in a quest for a solution. I was on drugs for several months. In June 2013, I woke up one morning breathless. I thought it was my end so I visited a friend who insisted I needed to get help. She called an ambulance and I was immediately rushed to the hospital where I was admitted for 2 months. I sent Rev Tony a mail and I started reading his materials on healthy living and started juicing and now I am healed. Dr Ashuke In 2011, my husband was sick to the point of death. The doctors couldn’t diagnose the disease properly. He didn’t have any pain but had distended stomach, his ankles were swollen, he was eating properly but still looked malnourished. The doctors refused to start treatment until they were sure about what was wrong with him. Someone introduced us to Rev Tony Akinyemi . He placed us on a 30 days challenge and then 90days of healthy diet .In other to encourage my husband I joined him. Within the first 2 weeks of the diet, his stomach started going in and by the end of the 90 days challenge my husband was completely healed. Mrs U. Akuego I had issues with digestion. I would stay for days without using the toilet, but after I started the HLI June 2014 training, I have been going to the toilet frequently. I feel better and alive. Mrs Olu, Lagos. My mother had Arthritis, as a result of that she was incapacitated. My neighbor invited all women in my estate to come and listen to Rev Tony Akinyemi’s CD. I was inspired and got curious so I came to see Rev Tony. I purchased all his CDs and newsletters on arthritis and sent them to my mum. By October 2012 she got better. I was diagnosed last year with steroid and hormonal imbalance. I was bleeding profusely, I came to see Rev Tony Akinyemi, he prescribed some supplements and advised I started eating right. I started the hallelujah diet and I am super great now all the swellings disappeared and I am healthy praise God. Mrs E. Asheley I lost my younger sister to Tuberculoses. After I attended the Healthy living training, I am now a health coach, there has been several testimonies of healing from all the seminars I organized. HLA My Sister in-law had diabetes in 2008, I bought Rev Tony Akinyemi’s newsletters on diabetes. I sent it to her in Port Harcourt, she read it and applied all she learnt and within 3b months all symptoms disappeared. My Tenant in Ibadan had infertility issues; they had been married for 9 years without children. I bought Rev Tony’s CD and materials on Addressing infertility in Men & Women and I sent it to them. They read the books and listened to the Cds and practiced all they learnt, by October 2013, I was invited for the naming ceremony of their daughter. Pst C. Adewale I had malaria 4 years ago, I took Aethesolate, but ended up with Vertigo. I couldn’t move my head, I came to see Rev and he asked me to blend some fruits and drink the juice. I am healed and i have not had malaria ever since. Anonymous In 2011 I was diagnosed with Arthritis. My friend gave me Rev Tony’s CD on addressing Arthritis and I was eager to meet Rev, so I came down to lagos. Rev prescribed some supplement and ever since I have no cause to take any drug. Mrs R. Ibineye , Kogi State I had Allergies in 2006. Thje allergies lingered and I work up one morning and noticed my eyeballs were brown. I did all kinds of test, I was placed on drugs for about 6 month to 1 year. I went to see Rev Tony and he introduced me to the healthy diet. I bought a Juicer and started juicing all fruits, within 2 weeks, the palpitation disappeared totally and my face went back to normal,since then I have not taken any drug, people keep asking what I did. Mrs T. Edet About 6 years ago I watch Rev Tony on TV he talked about Extreme Make-Over and I was blessed. I was diagnosed with hypertension and I struggled with it for months, my BP was going higher by the day. My Doctor placed me on a drug and warned strongly against stopping my medication. I was confused and needed help, I decided to write Rev Tony in 2013. I received a mail from Rev Tony inviting me for a lecture on High blood pressure in Lagos. He said there was reversal for every disease. I bought all the tapes and newsletters on hypertension at the seminar. I told my Doctor that I was going to be his first patient to be delivered from hypertension. I started the healthy living diet and also took supplements that were recommended by Rev Tony. Within 8 months my blood pressure normalized, I stopped my medication. I started a health seminar in Warri. I have been able to bless the people around me praise God. Rev Famous D. Warri http://www.familyparliament.com/252/health-school-live-in-lagos |
