₦airaland Forum

brain54:
So which of the words were more hurtful to you...


The No vex for this thing I wan talk ....or she accepting to date you?

It was the no vex for this thing I wan talk if she added a little insult as you don't have sense or you are stupid. I didn't say it was the most hurtful words, I said it definitely would have been if she added an insult. I have heard a lot of hurtful words but this would have trump all. The girl is still my babe and she still respects me. It's was just a matter of what could have been.

Starboytwo:
Just marry 1 of them na shuoo

Remember, plenty talk nor dey full basket.

All of them are married or at least given birth. These situations are from years ago, the latest one was like 7 years ago. I'm just writing my experiences when it comes to relationship.

stan4b:
Guy!!!
Go and look for something productive to do with your life.

As Tharmon said, I'm probably more productive than you. I'm actually trying to put my real life stories, both the ones from 20 years ago or ones I will experience later into content, that will fetch money amidst other things I'm doing, I'm just trying to use nairaland same way others use Twitter or IG.

A4alpha:
kiddo go inside, go and read your book

You are probably a gen z. I'm not so you don't call me kiddo it should be the other way round.

helinues:
From all your reference cases, the ladies you have been meeting or so are from family that are not financially stable which is a red flag

Also any lady that can't make decisions on her own without her mother's input, that's another big red flag as all your family matter will be relayed to her mom

All these relationship I'm talking about are ages ago. I'm only using it to create content. And from my write up, they aren't seeking their mum's input. I'm just saying that, all their mum approve of me even though they are hiding the relationship from the mum or using them as excuse to break the relationship.

NosyParrot:
The ladies he's interested in are all teenagers so definitely they need their mother's advise

From the write up, the point of my post is that the mom of all the ladies approved me for a long term relationship with their daughter which means I must have a very good personality.

SpencerForbes:
Are you sure you actually have friends you talk to? Because I'm convinced only chronic loneliness can bring out this kind of "storytelling" talent. 😂

How do you even recall all these old escapades? Even my very first babe, I haven’t thought about her in ages. You be gee 🤜🏆🥇

No I don't have friends. And I'm writing this to probably keep here so as to use as content on other social platform I can monitor. I only just remember one, and the rest just came rolling in.

I just remembered this one too and I want to add it because it was funny. This one was an Igbo girl like the third one and we wer already in talking stage, funny thing is she gained admission to school and I should have left the chat earlier but I thought she liked me, you can't blame me for thinking such because I didn't go to toast her she came to meet me in my store and we started talking then later she started to come gist with me at the store so I felt we were good and started acting like boyfriend. But anytime I pass in front of her house and she's there with her mum I don't greet her because she specifically told me she doesn't want her mum to know she's dating. Until one day that I was going to store and I met her mum on the road, I just decided to greet her because she has come to patronize me once or twice herself, when she responded with, 'Good morning my in-law' I was so surprised that I had to tell my family at home. That in our mind we were hiding relationship when the person we were hiding it from has accepted me. Funny thing is another day when I saw the girl and the mum together,(she was already in school then so we already broke whatever situationship we were in) I greeted them and the woman still answered me by calling me her in-law in front of her daughter and even left us to catch up on the time she was in school. Even after I'm sure her daughter must have told her we were not dating or has stopped dating, she still continue to call me in-law till they all relocated.

The third woman, the lady was my sister's friend when they arrive newly in our neighborhood and we later became good friends. Then the woman that's my friend mum, started a food canteen years later by then we are more or less family friends as we know the lady's mum and she knows ours too and also our mum now know each other but theirs wasn't deep friendship just normal neighbors. So when the woman started her canteen she was patronizing us, that's buying fish from us. She use to tell me that she likes how cool and we'll behaved that I am until one day she told me that she has told her daughter sef that she can never allow her to marry any Yoruba men as they are as they called us the Yoruba demons. She just said she told her daughter not to marry any Yoruba guy but if her daughter should bring me home to her that I'm the one she wants to marry that she would not only bless the union but she will be very happy.

The second girl, I wooed her myself and we were already vibing and even her elder siblings know me and didn't mind. Until I was walking her home one day when she told me some streets gossip has told her mum about us and her mum already warned her never to see her with me. I took this in good faith that I was even accusing her sister of being the one telling her mum out off jealousy. Because somehow the way the lady act when I'm with this my girlfriend is somehow. So that was how our relationship cracked and started dying naturally. But before then this my girl used to come and patronize us in our frozen food store and I'm the one who mostly stay at the store then. I sell for her at very good prices and even when the mum started coming to buy fish by herself sometimes I still sell for her very well till she became fond of me (mind you I didn't know if she knew the guy she told her daughter to stop seeing was me or not) until a day I was on a bike passing in front of their shop, I saw this woman and I greeted her by bowing, this woman answered my greetings and immediately called the attention of that my girl (even though have removed my hand from her matter, because I started feeling she's the one not interested in me and was just wanted to use her mum as excuse) to look at me. That action just confirmed to me that this woman later knew that I am her daughter man and that she approves of me. But it was already late and we were not talking anymore. Let me just add this, I stopped seeing us being in a relationship when I met this girl coming from her VS and I escorted her home. Then when we wanted to part I asked this girl for a hug not even peck and she refused saying we were already in her street, but it's very dark already. I just said okay and from that night I removed my mind. When I see her after then, I only greet or respond to her greetings, laugh small and go my way. No more gisting or calling her, I mostly do the calling then even if it's not regularly.

First woman actually came to live in the church in front of our house. I think their house was sold or something and they had to love in this Calabar church before they will secure another place. She always come to our house then to sit in front of the building to see all that is going own and I use to greet her when I go to school or come back in the afternoon and I see her there. Sometimes she ask me to call someone for her on her phone or fix some settings on it. In all of this I always do whatever she asks of me and patiently at that. So one day she bought sachet water and because of her legs that isn't very strong I helped her carry the water to the church when her daughter came out from inside the church to collect it when women thanked me profusely and suddenly asked if I will like to marry her daughter, as she will be so happy since I'm a well behaved young man. I and the girl just laughed but the woman didn't find it funny as she was putting on a serious face.

I just want to write this as a creative content and not to boast or fill any narcissistic tendency which I'm sure not to be. I'm writing this to show another relationship problem different from the one Tekashi wrote prior to this. What I'm saying is that his post influenced or inspired me to write this post.

Typing.....

I don't think anyone can escape being insulted or emotionally abused by a loved ones. This one I'm sharing wasn't a case of almost, in fact it wasn't hurtful and also lifted my spirits after this girl said what she wanted to say. We have just become friends or more of seeing each other as brother and sister and we've become very close in just few days that we started talking. So this particular day I didn't know how I would woo her and so I asked her how she would like to be toasted, she turned it to a joke that she's not interested in being toasted as she's not bread. During the back and forth I told her I will want her to be my girlfriend, she first stared at me then she said' no vex o, for this thing wey I wan talk?' Omo, my mind first cut and all my thoughts of how she will insult and disrespect me, because you guys know when a someone tell you no offense, then they are about to drop the most disrespectful words on you. I was even expecting her to start with, you are very stupid or you don't have sense I was already regretting my words and all that evening. Because not only will she ruin the night, our just blossoming friendship will die and how am I supposed to look or see her from then on. These were all the thoughts that simple 'no vex o, for this thing wey I wan talk' triggered. Then all she said was 'Do you want to tell me, you haven't seen a girl you like in all the whole area before I came, or that you don't have a girlfriend already?' Omo even I'm sure she would see how relieved I felt, when that was all she wanted to say and ask. At the end of the day she agreed Sha, and it was one of the best relationship I've been in.
Comments below your own experience.

MONEY247:
Rule no 1 don't enter a CAR...
when going public transport I avoid cars like a plague...
I rather trek....

Rule no 2...never put all your money in one bank account or device.... Always spread it...

Rule 3...always pray to God for safety

My uncle told me this recently and thought he was being paranoid. Though it's all these cars going to the island though.

Tekashi89:
Hey guys, my dating life sulks, I haven't been really lucky with girls ever since my secondary School days. Since I was born I've only dated two girls and that was way back in 2016 and last year in 2025.
I tend to attract more guys, single mothers or older women (very old women tend to like me).
I don't know what's it with me that tends to push away younger girls (note I'm 180cm 60kg) light skin most people say I'm handsome. But I don't know why I can't attract young single girls.
Where ever I go I tend to attract only single mothers and when a young girl even start getting attracted to me I'll later discover that she acts that way to every other guy around so there's nothing special about me.
I'm thinking of going spiritual but I just thought I should post it here first.
So guys I need your advice on this issue pls

Life is like that, what faces one backs the other. Me I'm here always attracting girls I'm like 8-14 years older than but I prefer mine Sha. I attract very old women too, but I guess it's pure love because they don't go sexual on me, they just always want me to date there up to age daughters who happens to not see me in that way. The older women own is understandable though because I'm this cool, calm handsome guy but who doesn't have money so they feel I will treat their daughters well but I don't have what these girls want yet which is money.

Kobojunkie:
That's actually a very bad way to press a pimple. But I see you are also an attached being, yourself, also looking for signs in the wrong places. 🥱🥱🥱

I heard that too, but maybe due to the fact I drink a lot of water, I do have a clear skin and rarely have pimples and it's at most 2 that's why people (funny enough all are females, though some are blood family) always press it whenever one pops up. And no I'm not attached, I just love returning energies especially positive ones. And she has done so many things that says she want me so I gave to want her back and I most confess the love grew. Why did you think it's a bad way to press a pimple?

Kobojunkie:
She is one out of many, and you don't expect her to hold that against you in case you happen to be her one and only, as most attached means do? 🥱🥱🥱

Please don't get me wrong Kobo, I don't mean she is one out of many that I'm dating, No. I meant she's at the forefront of all the ladies I've managed to be acquainted with or just observing from afar. You know in our world now it's very rare to find a really good relationship worthy lady, as bad economy has pushed most of our ladies into hook-up and the better off ones I mean financially just want to follow the bad trend. I don't go about spreading my seeds. And I don't want to enter a relationship that will stress me. But was so wrong about being attached. Are you saying she may just be attached to me and not love me?

Uptheante:
Allow them to fight, then date the winner

Then what will they say they are fighting for? It's just one being jealous of the closeness between I and the other which is even platonic.

Kobojunkie:
1. You are right that I meant uncomfortable rather than comfortable. 🥱🥱

2. That it is likely attachment does not necessarily mean that you kidnapped or cajoled her. Only that if or when her brain finally develops to the point that she is able to tell it apart from love and begins to act appropriately, you shouldn't hold it against her. 🥱🥱🥱

I'm not holding it against her, I just don't want her holding it against me in future. In fact she's at the forefront when it comes to ladies I hope to build my family with.

Jman06:
Which one is attachment and which one is love again abeg? Will you be comfortable around and even attached to someone if you don't love them? What is your own definition of love that made you think the younger girl cannot have it for the older man she's dating? The age gap between myself and my fiancee is so huge yet whenever I'm with her, I feel loved in every sense of the word. She dotes over me like a mother would on her child.

You wouldn't believe how this girl treats me. Though it might sound like nothing but the day she helped me press a pimple on my face and used her finger to wipe the pus, even my sister use my fingers to do that anytime she press it for me. That simple gesture just made me realize there are somethings she will be willing to do for me to some extent.

Jman06:
Which one is attachment and which one is love again abeg? Will you be comfortable around and even attached to someone if you don't love them? What is your own definition of love that made you think the younger girl cannot have it for the older man she's dating? The age gap between myself and my fiancee is so huge yet whenever I'm with her, I feel loved in every sense of the word. She dotes over me like a mother would on her child.

Exactly why I asked if she meant to say uncomfortable. I don't see anything wrong with her being attached to me as I do everything in my power for her to know and feel loved.

Kobojunkie:
That she had to hide that fact from you for so long means she herself was, for that entire period, comfortable around you. That is not love but attachment... what many are afraid that most girls who engage older men confuse for love. 🥱🥱

Did you mean uncomfortable, because comfortable is a good thing, isn't it? True I thought of this attachment then, and I try as much as I could to know if that was it by asking her if she wouldn't be coming to slam me with lawsuits in the future about how I deceive(I can't remember the words they use now) her with a naivety. But she told no that whatever she's doing now, it's her decision and she's ready to face the consequences of it. Trust me I reflects on our relationship a lot just to make sure I'm not grooming her or doing anything that will hurt her emotionally or mentally.

Please forget the topic, I wrote that for not knowing what to write.

So there's this lady (A) that just started squatting with us, her elder sister is my younger sister friend more like street aunty. Due to work they started squatting but the street aunty goes home at Ikorodu more regularly than this lady and my sister that is friend with this street aunty has traveled and even have her own apartment now. So sometimes, it's just I and this lady that we are not related by blood, though I never had or even have any intention of having sex with her. Though we sleep on same bed and sometimes even cuddle(just once though) or sleep closely that we literally cross legs. So there's also this lady(B) that came to take care of her niece and nephews as her sister who is the mother of these children just died. So it all started with one of our neighbors (let's call her mum c because she's older than both ladies) that like to gossip, after greeting me one day by saying I'm enjoying o. I asked her why she said that but she didn't say anything but somehow my instinct told me she's talking about lady A as prior to that day was the first time only the 2 of us will sleep as before then either my other sister is around or lady A sister is around, so I felt that's what she was talking about. Then later lady A came to tell me lady B was fighting her and she doesn't know what wrong she did to her because she just went to throw waste paper outside now and as lady B saw that it was her she just hissed. I knew she was implying that lady B was jealous of her because she lady B was close to me. But I didn't say anything I only changed the topic only for lady A to tell me yesterday that she doesn't know why lady B hates her, maybe because lady B likes fattprince (she mentioned my name in third person) and I and fattprince use to talk and she's just jealous. It was funny Sha, but that's how fvcked up every thing is, but normal na I changed the topic again because we don't know for a fact though it's highly possible that's why she's acting towards A like that.

I dated a girl I was 14 years older than once. I mean though she wasn't direct but the green light was bright and who am I to lose the opportunity of a young, fresh, pretty, naive but matured girl. Moreover my weakness when it comes to relationship are 1. When the lady really like me and isn't afraid of showing it. 2. When the lady is calm and 3. Which is the least is when she's pretty. Back to the matter, gossiping neighbors were saying in Igbo that I've changed a lot that how come me that I'm calm and nice could be dating a small girl, they didn't know she understands Igbo. She wanted to tell me then but didn't, she just told me 4 years later that, that's was they said that she's too young and she didn't want to tell me because it will make me sad and might change my mind and she doesn't want to lose me.

SpreshMan:
I think you just hit the exact angle of my thought.

I’m thinking if minimum wage is 12.79 per hour and I got to work maximum of 20’hours per week that is 250 per week and 1000 per month as it is on paper. Can I pay a balance 8000 pounds from this or do people have a way of working more hours without the system knowing.
And 2 the fact that the path to residency is not so clear.
A lot of people are traveling which means they are probably manuevrjng the stuff but I can’t gamble to find out

Besides your point, I just wanted to point out that maximum per week is 40 hours except you mean part time.

pansophist:
Japa to another country not the UK.

It is almost impossible to switch from temporary study visa to something permanent. Your ability to work severely restricted, and the uk economy is not the best.

It is also not in the Schengen zone or the eu, so you’re stuck in that little overcrowded island with lots of immigrants like you looking for greener pastures.

The system understands why you’re there and makes it difficult for you and your type as the years go by, while making sure it milk out any cash you have left.

Yes you will look fresh, your pictures will be fine. But you’ll probably be broke, stressed, single and emotionally drained.

Go to other Schengen countries, it’s better. You can travel all through Europe and explore opportunities, with multiple chances to become a permanent resident.

My uncle travelled to UK with his family last year February. I don't know but I'm not as excited if it was US he traveled to. I've heard about UK being harder to make money than US when I was in sec sch which was more than 17 years ago. And most of my make in sec sch school then are all in UK, I mean I know at least 12 that are there or visiting there. So I don't know but he's trying though, he has sent us money and especially to his mother even when nobody is pressuring him as they all feel he just arrived there. But I understand it's not easy over there so I'm surprised by the gesture too. I just pray he becomes stable as they packed everything with no mind of coming back soon
And I really appreciate him because he contacts us so frequently even more than families in Nigeria.

Melagros:
I dey tell you! Churches in Port Harcourt are too many, and I heard that Lagos and Ogun State have the highest number of Church par capita in Nigeria. I don't know how true it is

Okay, let me tell you about the churches on my street that is about 800 meters or less. These no are of churches, 2 (not sure if it's still functioning) 6, then 1,15, 17, 23, 25, 27(turned back to a residential) and like 2 that's in avenues that will lead to other streets. Then the street off my street, that's the major street that leads to mine, there are like 7 churches with 2 that stopped functioning and 2 of the ones still functioning are redeemed churches that are like 200 meters from each other. If I should calculate the churches in an circumference of less than 2 km there's a total of I will just say 8 that I remember now it's still more 21. I don't want to calculate the ones that are from my bus stop to my street because I will not be able to. That's total of 22 churches in an area of at most 1.5 km. There are still churches I cut out due to the fact I can't be sure because it's inner and I don't go there often. So tell me if you still believe PH has more churches? This one I'm saying is a street there are some roads like the one op is talking about that are almost dedicated to churches too.

pansophist:
If the government works, these industries (churches) will die a natural death.

I see it with Nigerian abroad a lot. They become less religious when they begin to work, improve their life and realise that their destiny is in their hands.

I'm tired, though I have one small job because I work for my uncle so when there's no work I'm still paid stipends so that gives me a lot of time and these my religious neighbors want me to use all that time in church. I've always believe my destiny is in my hands but I just don't know how to tell them no, I'm thinking of running away self. I do tell them no sometimes but they still come back another time because one program is thrice in a week the other is once though and Sundays making it 2 times so they want me to go to church 5 days in a week and the funny thing is both are using style to tell me their own program is the real truth and the other is half truth while I know they all are half truths.

Puffinjoe:
Where do they live

They live in Sango Toll Gate for now

Puffinjoe:
I live around Lagos ibadan Expressway and lots of company opportunities are here if you'd like.

Do you mean factory works. I have 2 ladies that don't mind as long as the pay is good. How can you help?