₦airaland Forum

Most marriages are run by husbands who do not know how to LOVE and wives who do not know how to SUBMIT!

Educational Psychologist believe strongly in the application of "motivaion theory" as inducement in learning process.

In business administration, modern management employs motivation for the realization of business objectives.

Marriage as a business has the need for motivation to succedd under the dynamic managerial skill and abilities of the husband as Chief Executive Officer of home.

Incidentally most men do not have what it takes to manage marriage as a business. The key issue here is that the man must master the principle of LOVE and educate/motivate his wife to SUBMIT for the business to succeed!

1. Marriage is the only institution in the world where you collect your certificate before enrolment. See it as an eternal union where separation is a sin against God and humanity.

2. No matter the nature and temperament of your partner, motivating yourself and your partner is a pivotal love booster. Always and constantly appreciate and reward his/her good deeds.

3. “Individuals don’t win, team do.” Sam Walton. Individuals may win but team does better and faster too. Always carry your partner along in most if not all of your plans and activities.

4. You can’t impose your will on your customer just as you should not impose your will on your partner. Dialogue! Discuss!! Be democratic!!!

5. Clearly doing the right thing is the best security against marriage break. Do your best at ensuring that whatever you say or do to your partner is right, just and fair.

6. A good relationship is one in which each partner puts in as much as he or she takes out of it. Be alert and responsive to your partner’s requests (spoken, written or imagery).

7. Nothing in the world can take the place of Love and Submission in Marriage. The man must Love as much as the wife Submits.

8. As the success of a product/company attracts competition so does your relationship an issue of envy and jealousy to others. Push off every gossip and unsolicited tips against your partner.

9. If your marriage/relationship fails, it is not because God is a failure but because you fail to power it. Attend marriage seminars and workshops regularly with your partner.

10. The fact is that marriage is fast moving away from conventionalism to fundamentalism. Learn the fundamentals of love and marriage applicable to your relationship. Grab a copy of my ebook Fundamentals of a Happy Marriage. Visit http://www.adamsconcept.com

Nothing in the world can take the place of LOVE and SUBMISSION in marriage. The man must LOVE as much as the wife SUBMITS!

One of the greatest success of marriage is to find out what your partner wants and do your best to meeting his or her needs in love.

I strongly covet your prayers for the birth of a new church (this Sunday, May 30 2010) in a small village in Abeokuta, Ogun State of Nigeria by the name of Grace Family Empowerment Ministries as a mission-based/evangelical church.

Thank you.

Examine Yourself
Now that you are thinking of getting married, it is necessary and important that you examine and question yourself. You need to ask yourself the following vital and unique question –WHO AM I?

1. You are a spirit being in a mortal body –Genesis 1.27: “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him: male and female created he them.”
God’s image is that invisible part of man called spirit. “God is a spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth.” John 5.24. God is the only one that can give you divine direction to your marriage partner. He will do this by talking to you –in the spirit, not in the soul realm. The soul realm is the realm of imaginations, hallucinations, infatuations, reasoning, feelings, affections and fantasies. The spirit realm is the realm of love, passion, burden, truth and reality.

2. You are not cheap to be a toy -John 15.2:
“I AM the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman. Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit.”

You are a precious being –a tool in God’s hand for productivity, not a toy in any man or woman’s hand for play as Samson in the hand of Delilah –Judges 14. You are so precious that God attends to you jealously as a productive tool. You cannot afford to loose your preciousness and worth for a sex-seeker and play boy or play girl!

3. You have a destiny to fulfill through marriage. You have been destined to bring forth a child through marriage that will bring honor and praise to your family. You can’t afford to let Satan change God’s plan for you by making you marry the wrong person through haste, irrational decision, lust and demonic affection!

Joseph had a destiny to fulfill! He knew what God had promised to make out of him. He wouldn’t do anything to shut the door of greatness at himself. Genesis 39.7-12: “…his master’s wife cast her eyes upon Joseph; and she said, Lie with me. But he refused…how can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?”
Avoid Marriage Pitfalls

4. Do Not Be Irrational in Your Choice
Do not choose a “anyhow” partner. Have a choice. Know whom you want, when you want him or her, how you want him or her and where you want him or her to come from. These include his or her family background, social status, educational level, skin color, height, temperament and so forth.

5. Do Not Rush into Marriage
Do not yield to pressure. Do not succumb to dictates of your negative situation and circumstance. Do not take advantage of your spouse’s predicament

6. Attend to Your Habits
Work on yourself –on your anger, on your impatience, on your dress mode, on your uncleanness, on your introverted or extroverted problem and so forth.

7. Attend to Your Health Problem
Get medical attention where necessary. Get psychological attention on your temperament and emotions. Get physiotherapist attention on your body shape. Get cosmetic attention on your face and body.

8. Be Prepared
Complete your education or vocational training.

Be emotionally and psychologically stable.

Understand the responsibilities that marriage places on you socially, morally, financially and spiritually, too.

Be determined.

Do you feel any sensual sensation when you breast-feed your baby?

Kindly how do I insert respondent's quote in my reply to a post?

We are Christians, Fundamental Theologians. We do not and would never attempt at faulting the bible in anyway. The argument of whether women are weaker vessels or not was sparked off by a joke. However, some fundamental questions arose which necessitated the submission of this piece for your considerations. They are:

1. What was the work of Adam in the Garden of Eden so tasking that he needed a helper?

2. Why did God consider a woman a suitable helper for him?

I put up an argument with a lady on the question of whether women are weaker vessels as the holy bible describes them or not. “Women are weaker vessels. God says they are. Apostle Paul confirms this by his instruction in I Timothy 2.11-12: that women must not be empowered to teach or have any form of authority over men! They must keep their mouths shut where men are talking!”

Surprisingly, the lady replied back with a strong and passionate defensive argument that the bible position about women being weaker vessels is not balanced. “Are women weaker, indeed? If we are, then, men are weak beings. By the law of grammar, women cannot be weaker without weak men. Therefore, if women accept their positions as weaker vessels in God’s plan for marriage, men too, as husbands, must accept their position as weak vessels in this plan.”

I contended that “Men cannot be weak vessels in God’s plan for marriage. Otherwise, God would not give men the mandate to be head of their homes and, over their wives”.
Her response was that “We do not, as wives, contest the headship of men as head of their homes and wives. Our contention is in the fact that both men and women are imperfect beings in the biblical context of marital weaknesses. And that, on this issue, most of us women would admit that we are weaker but that men too should admit they are weak.”

With a sense of pride that I am winning the argument, I quickly put it to her that “The bible does not state in any way that men are weak. Rather God demands that we be strong, courageous, bold and resolute. But for women, their weaknesses are so strong that God commands men not to give them their strength. They are so destructive in their weaknesses that they could ruin kings! Proverbs 31:1”

She smiled and with a soft tender voice replied that “Women are not weak as men have projected us. If we are, then, we cannot be helpers against biblical standpoint on the main reason why God created us. For instance, God created us as suitable helpers to men- Genesis 2:8. If women were weaker, we would not have had the strength to help men nor the might to ruin kings! May we ask you men some questions…?”
“Please do!” I replied

1. What was the original plan of God for marriage for which he created the woman as a weaker partner?

2. What was the primary work of Adam in Eden for which he needed a helper?

3. Why was a woman the best option of a helper to Adam, in Eden, and what was her role in the work and life of Adam in this plan?

She was so sure I wouldn’t provide her with the right answers to her questions

What a great challenge!

We are living in a world with modern people who are demanding for a new kind of Christianity and are forming one already.

Christianity has become a supermarket for people to choose from. Except today’s Church Leaders and Co-coordinators understand the role and importance of Church Growth Management and Administration, they would be pushed into the arena of religious activities.

Church Growth is the study of the components and elements of the development and management of the body of Christ known as the Church.

The Church is a spiritual organism, composed of believers who live in a spiritual estate, having the hope of reigning with Christ in his eternal kingdom.

Unfortunately, most believers do not see the Church as a spiritual organism but a religious organization. This short sight or spiritual blindness has a serious adverse effect on the growth and powers of the Church, today.

To grow your church today, consider the following principles:

1. See the Church as God’s-dwelling place. Visualize God occupying your seat as the bishop of the church including your sacred altar.

2. See the Church as God’s property not yours. Although it is not a crime to call the Church by whatever name you desire, it must be born in your mind that nobody can claim or should claim the ownership of the church.

3. Ensure that your church is guided and directed by The Holy Spirit.

4. Ensure that you raise an eschatological community of Christians from your church members who are empowered to approach God in freedom and liberty of the spirit; who do not have to look up to you or someone else as a medium or an intermediary between them and God.

5. Raise your church members to practice holy and righteous living.

6. Raise your church members as evangelist, preachers, prayersists, praise singers, givers and welfarists.

7. Teach your church members to love and be bonded in unity of purpose.

8. Discover God’s perfect will for your church. Find out exactly what God wants to use your church to accomplish different from others.

9. Identify your church members’ spiritual gifts and fit the right gift in the appropriate office.

10. Understand today’s man and relate with him practically in today’s language and in the power of The Holy Spirit.

Every woman as a wife has six primary needs that she looks up to you, as her husband, to meet with passion and precision, too. Failure on your part to meet these basic and fundamental needs would cause you pains and agonies, as a husband. These needs are here highlighted for your perusal.

Permit me to state here without any attempt at selling or marketing that there is a practically applicable solution to this marriage challenge in an eBook format available online at http://www.adamsconcept.com titled: LOVE AND SEX IN MARRIAGE. You could find help with a free downloadable eBulleting titled SHE HATES ME! titled at http://www.marriagestrata.com

These needs are here highlighted for your perusal.

1. Physiological needs: - These are the requirements of the body such as food, clothing and shelter.

2. Safety needs: - These refer to job security, protection of life and properties.

3. Social needs:- These include the right to friendship and association

4. Ego needs: - These are desires for recognition, praise, reward and fame.

5. Self-Actualization needs: - These are desire and ambitions to achieving one’s goal in life that is, becoming what one aspires to be.

6. Sensual needs: - These are the functions of feelings and emotions.

All of above are general needs that your wife looks up to you to meet in a special way. For example, while everybody wants abundant of food and clothing in a house (shelter), your wife wants a home in that house. A house is a building containing food, clothing and shelter but a home is a conducive atmosphere in a house where the food, clothing and shelter could be used freely and happily too.

In brief, she wants you to grant her the freedom and rights to enjoy the facilities available in the house.

I like to submit that most men are guilty of what they accuse their wives of. So, it is essential that you sit back and look at the issue objectively and fundamentally too, asking yourself whether your action is fundamental, traditional or selfish.

How to Have a Male or a Female Child the Bible Way!

Children are gifts from God. “The sons (and daughters) a man has when he is young are like arrows in a soldier’s hand. Happy is the man who has many such arrows.” Psalm 127.3-5

Many desire these precious gifts irrespective of the sex of the babies they have while others have preference for a particular sex at a particular time.

What sex of a child a woman gives birth to at any particular time has been described as an act of God by some while others ascribe it to medical practice. It is inferred that what sex of a child a woman gives birth to is dependent primarily upon what type of spermatozoa the man releases into the womb of a woman during sexual intercourse.

This piece was not aimed or intended at contending or contesting with this medical fact. Rather it was aimed at complementing efforts of the medicals on the issue, based on a philosophic observation of some bible facts.

The holy bible provides answers to all questions of divinity and humanity including social, medical, financial, emotional and every other issue that could be mentioned.

My first encounter with the fact that one can have a male or a female child the bible way was at a revival service where the preacher spoke about Rachael in the bible, in Genesis chapter twenty-nine.

Rachael was the second wife of Jacob after Leah, her elder sister against what Jacob had bargain for. Looking at the events in Jacob’s family as related to our discussion of having a male or a female child the bible way, the followings were observed:

1. Jacob was not happy at how Laban, his father-in-law had jilted him over his love and bargain for Rachael. He did not love Leah! So, God gave Leah a male child.

2. Jacob suffered in two ways to have Rachael who turned out not being able to bear a child. This caused him more pain that he stopped loving her. So, God gave Rachael a male child.

Above is simply an expression of a philosophic view that has not been scientifically or clinically experimented but which I feel bold to challenge anyone who thinks otherwise to contest or rather, experimented.

A character study of a selected few families in the bible corroborates my assertion that one can have a male or a female child the bible way as I shall justify in this write up. Two of the selected bible families are:

1. Adam and Eve – Genesis 4. It is suggestive that Eve was deeply sorry over her action of disobeying God and making her husband to act alike. Adam was not happy over the loss of his job and position in the Garden of Eden. Eve had to do everything she could to make him happy. So, God gave her male children.

2. Abraham and Sarah – Genesis 16. Abraham was a busy businessman who had no time for his wife. He was married more to his business than to his wife. It was Eve that was in dare need of a child more than Abraham. So, God gave her a male child. Ishmael (another male child) came from Hagar because Abraham was not in love with her.

This is not an empirical study so; I wish to conclude that one can have a male or a female child the bible way if love radiates more from the woman to the man in a marriage relationship. The reverse would be the case if love radiates more from the man to the woman.

Therefore, as a man who wants a male child, overshadow the love of your husband. Go the extra mile submitting in all things to him and loving him reverently. You know what to do if the sex of the baby you prefer is a female!

Bringing this child to the world is one part of the deal, the other which is paramount to your health and marriage security is his/her training and development. I strongly recommend either of the following two e-books titled: Fundamentals of a Happy Marriage or Child Empowerment Psychology available for instant download at http://www.adasmsconcept.com

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Psalm 51 implies that David acknowledged the fact that everybody was guilty of the sin of disobedience committed by Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. So, everyman on earth is a sinner who has not received pardon by the Grace offered through our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.

Everyman was under the guilt of sin which Jesus Christ died for, to cancell. It implies that anyone who rejects Christ's offer of salvation by grace, is not saved.

My final submission on this issue is that while salvation applies to non-Christians in God's plan of saving grace, born again applies to Christians. This is an intellectual exercise but when it comes to biblical hermeneutics or rather the basic preaching of the gospel, then anything goes.

Perhaps someone should do a brief sermon on the topic of Born Again for us all to learn a new way of using the word in our evangelical outreaches.

Amen!

I think what joagbaje meant to state is that sin is not imputed to non-Christians with reference to the subject of born again because non-Christians were never at any point in time being born again.

My understanding of the subject is that one is not born again by accepting and confessing Jesus Christ as his Lord and Saviour. One who does that accepts the salvation of Christ offered by grace.

Non-Christians accept Jesus and are saved but 'Christians' that is those who believe in the person of Jesus Christ but somehow shift thier ground of believe must be born again.

For example, a preacher who on account of his intent at winning an election changes his ground of belief and now teaches or preaches that "We (everybody) all serve the same God!" has died to his original belief in God as the Father of Jesus Christ and that anyone who is not a Christian does not belong to God. It is such a Christian that must be born again.

It's sad but only him that wears the shoes no where it pinches. You need to be a pastor to appreciate God's grace over your marriage. The fact of the matter is that satan would not give up on his plot at injuring any pastor who practices holiness. Three of his strategic ways of actualizing his plot are love of money, pride & bad marriage. Ben, like any other pastor, could have bad marriage that was being endured rather than being enjoyed! It won't last forever! Lets pray & pray with passion.

Great. For the sake of emphasis, I wish to re-establish my position that no believer loses his salvation unless he refutes his earlier confession of Christ as his Lord and Saviour. Anyone who confesses and holds on to his confession that Jesus Christ is Lord and Saviour of his life remain eternally saved.

HOWEVER, any believer who sins aginst The Holy Spirit, has by implication and application of gross offence of DISOBEDIENCE to specific divine instruction, DENIED that Jesus was no longer his Lord and Saviour and this could lead to him loosing his salvation.

SO, the question here is that no BELIEVER anyone who confesses and keeps on confessing Jesus as the LORD (controller and director) of his life can loose his salvation.
Rather, he may loose the reward of his "good works" with wrong motive and intent. Among such 'good works' are preaching, evangelising, healing, deliverance, giving, visiting and the rest with the aim of attracting self-appraisal and applause of others. It means that if this piece was written so I could win the applause of this forum, I have waisted my precious time and money before God but that won't stop me from making heaven!

May the Lord empower me with grace to start a new journey of life as a freelance evangelist, serving God without limitations and inhibitions, forgeting my past and moving on with a renewed strength as God in his infinite mercy restores all my lost opportunities and fortunes in Christ Jesus name, I prayed; amen.

I do not think that a "believer" one who has accepted Jesus Christ as his personal Lord and Saviour can loose his salvation as long as he holds on to his faith and belief in Christ as his Lord and Saviour. 

Judas lost his salvation by denying Christ but Peter kept his even though he too denied Christ. The difference is that Judas BETRAYED Christ but Peter DENIED Him 'escapistly'.

However, a believer can loose the rewards of every good works he did as a believer while on planet earth. 

Notwithstanding he who thinks that he stands should be careful so as not to fall!

Good for me. I shall happily belong.

“The child is the centre of marriage around which all our love revolves and towards which all our efforts tend.”

This is a fact. It may not be universally accepted until it has scaled through scientific tests. However, an observation of this fact, based on the African concept and value of marriage justifies this assertion. An average African couple marriy, not for love but for the raising of children, as heirs, on whom the LOVE in the context is showered. Hence, “The child is the centre (in African concept of marriage) around which all our love revolves and towards which all our efforts tend.”

In the light of this observation, knowledge of practical ways to empower your child for success in life is inevitable. For further reading, help and assistance on parenting and child empowerment, log on to http://www.gracefemresources.com/married

MAKING MILLIONS THROUGH MARRIAGE SEMINAR/COUNSELLING

I got married in August 1983 (over 25years ago). My practical marital experiences plus those of others show that many couples are not enjoying their marriages/homes. In fact, millions of marriages crash annually because of lack of competent/professional MARRIAGE COUNSELLORS with spiritual and practical know-how. The same applies to Family Arbitration too.

On the other hand, millions of Christian Youths of marriageable age are being bound by the yoke of late marriage. They need urgent deliverance through the provision of spiritual and practical guide to marriage by a competent Marriage Counsellor.

Now, you can earn a fortune helping these classes of people: The Singles and The Married solve their problems through PROFESSIONAL MARRIAGE SEMINAR/COUNSELLING and ARBITRATION.

The beauty of this business is that you do not have to be a specialist in counselling or a pastor to run the programme. You can always count on the experience and expertise of spiritual and professional counsellors as your RESOURCE PERSONS.

For further reading, help and assistance on how you could equip, prepare and empower yourself as a marriage/family arbitration consultant, log on to http://www.gracefemresources.com/money