₦airaland Forum

Absolutely NOTHING any Nigerian family does today in any way shape or form is traditional

As parents you offer nothing your tribal ancestors said traditional wedding were traditionally for

It's greed and ego stroking now and the second a woman's family uses the words mandatory or necessary or required and not that it's a personal choice of the couple simply because all Nigerian traditional weddings have a financial aspect it's fraud and it's illegal for you to expect payment AND full traditions, Expecting a bride price and asking for one is not illegal and not a bad thing but lying about your wedding cultures are and using the words mandatory or required or necessary make it illegal and fraud because of the financial aspect involved

You cannot say 1 part of it is mandatory or necessary or required today you and it doesn't matter if a groom is Nigerian or not you expecting anything beyond the bride price or demanding it is criminal offence so fraud and human rights violations from the introduction or knocking or whatever to the bride price and every other step

None of it is traditional not 1 bloody part at all
Keep doing it to each other if you want but stop shoving down the worlds throat

This is africa people think about it logically
Do you really think your african ancestors made up traditions where a woman can freely sleep with any man or men and most get pregnant and give birth for those men they never married

Those men never had to ask the families permission to sleep with her and never had to thank the family for sleeping with her Yet a husband or potential husband has to beg and grovel and plead to be her 2nd or 3rd or 100th man and most time take on the responsibility of other men's kids as well

You are lying to yourselves if you believe your ancestors would be anything but disgusted by that if they magically came back to life today and witnessed it and you have no right to do it or expect it

All your fake traditional wedding process is today is selfish old Nigerian men wanting payment and worship for their God complex egos and women punishing and humiliating the men they marry for their past choices to sleep around for years before she even met that man and no traditional or cultural values are involved at all and especially no family values

Kdut:
That U got used and abused by one family doesn't give U the audacity to insult and label an entire ethnic group or groups. It shows Ur level of reasoning and tolerance. I pity for her though. Meanwhile to answer U. There's always someone older or suitable for the job of playing the role. Anyone blood related or marriage related or even any kinsman (related by blood or ancestry) can play that role it's symbolic and a necessary part of the ceremony

I've more then proven everything you say is utter nonsense and lies

I feel sorry for your wife mate
I feel sorry for your kids
I feel sorry for everyone in your life

You obviously don't care about them only what you want since all you do is lie

Kdut:
That U got used and abused by one family doesn't give U the audacity to insult and label an entire ethnic group or groups. It shows Ur level of reasoning and tolerance. I pity for her though. Meanwhile to answer U. There's always someone older or suitable for the job of playing the role. Anyone blood related or marriage related or even any kinsman (related by blood or ancestry) can play that role it's symbolic and a necessary part of the ceremony

Nigerian men are nothing but liars, thieves, scammers and fraudsters

Why can't you people see

That nothing your family expect and demand in the wedding process is traditional at all nothing is today

Just compare the actual bride price lists decade to Decade from when your tribes were established through historical documents and see the jump around the 1960s

Then it's launching into space once social media kicked in

Now it's showing off and nothing more
Lavish gifts expected and demanded
Stupid amounts of money from your perspectives
It's literally becoming selling daughters and buying a bride

Your family demand Stupid standards that cause you to takes loans out and starting your marriages in high levels of debt

And don't give me that nonsense of yoruba giving it back because they don't sell their daughters and actually admit the truth

They only do that if you zip your mouth and just do what they say including prostration and if you don't putting on the big fake show of pretending to offer so they can look big and tell you not to do it infront of your guests at your wedding

Your families ruin your lives
They ruin everyone's lives

And your too pig headed and scared of them to admit it

The financial aspect doesn't effect us but causes tons of divorce for you lot

The thing that causes the divorce for us is most of us actually end up hating the woman and hating the family to the point we can't bare to look at her or her family for the stupid demands they have no right to make and we just want to send her packing back to them, how petty do a family need to be, how petty does a country need to be outright about nonsense that today has nothing to do with traditions or culture in any form at all its just greedy and selfish old men that want their ego stroked having other men thanking and honouring for doing literally nothing

Love goes both ways

If women want to be put first in life and marriage after then you don't make your man second best to your family at a celebration about you and him

If he's second priority to your mother, father, siblings, aunts, uncle, cousins and all the extras that come crawling for a handout

Then it's justified for a man to make you second best in everyday life after because you proved your loyalty to the man you claim you want to live with and love right at the start

If any of that stuff was truly important to you
If any of it truly matter to you
If any of it was required
If any if it was necessary
If any of it was mandatory

This 4 things would be true

1) you would have made sure that every country in the world recognised it as married

2) all women would virgins in this country until her father found her a husband and forced her to marry him like your ancestors traditionally did and intended for that nonsense

3) it would literally be the only legal way for anyone to get married in this country

4) human rights would not exist in your vocabularies or minds

You men don't like being proven wrimg do you?

None of your wedding traditions are important
None of your wedding cultures are important
None of it is required
None of it is mandatory
None of it necessary
Not one word of what families say matter

Unless a couple thinks any of it matters or anything is important or necessarily or is required

Not even a bride price is mandatory or a legal obligation so you men need to grow up and act your ages then start accepting the bride prices with a grateful and graceful attitude understanding that anything beyond that is just sheer greed and selfishness, you are not entitled to 1 word of say the lives of other adults at all

And all marriage is a union of 2 families not 2 people is utter nonsense and tripe

After marriage how often do the 2 families actually get together?
How often to they acknowledge each other?
How often do they talk or call each or just have a meal together?
How often do the help each other?

Never!!

Stop spouting that nonsense

I need an opinion as most of you in this topic seem to care about your dogs eventhough feeding them noodles as the bulk of the diet is a bad idea and wrong

Say you need to leave your dog in the house and have no other choice, you only intend to leave it for 6 hours

You let out to go to toilet before you leave but you are actually gone for 14 hours

You don't arrange for someone to check on the dog and dont arrange for someone to let it out at all

Then you come home and the dog has shit in an area of the house that is easy to clean in seconds, are you justified in beating that dog black and blue when it had no choice?

Yes or no?

Kdut:
That U got used and abused by one family doesn't give U the audacity to insult and label an entire ethnic group or groups. It shows Ur level of reasoning and tolerance. I pity for her though. Meanwhile to answer U. There's always someone older or suitable for the job of playing the role. Anyone blood related or marriage related or even any kinsman (related by blood or ancestry) can play that role it's symbolic and a necessary part of the ceremony

Grow up you sad little man and all men like you

Your traditions and wedding are only

Important if the couple think they are
Necessary of the couple think they are
Required if the couple think they are

They are not mandatory at all in any way, shape or form

What the families think or say are completely irrelevant Once men and women reach 21 years old

It's not the world's fault your family and families like yours brainwashed you into believing you need their permission as to much as wipe your own ass

They are only rituals

And not important unless it's important to the couple getting married

Kdut:
That U got used and abused by one family doesn't give U the audacity to insult and label an entire ethnic group or groups. It shows Ur level of reasoning and tolerance. I pity for her though. Meanwhile to answer U. There's always someone older or suitable for the job of playing the role. Anyone blood related or marriage related or even any kinsman (related by blood or ancestry) can play that role it's symbolic and a necessary part of the ceremony

You silly, silly little man 😂

How are you a respectful country?
How are you a respectful nationality?
How are you a respectful people?

If you call your traditions and cultures mandatory when they simply are not?

If you call your traditions and cultures necessary when they simply are not?

They are a choice and nothing more, how are they worth a thing if you are forcing people to obey them and participate in them and not choose to?

It's not worth anything if it's by force because you're lying about it

And it's not celebrating it if you are forcing people to do it it's making joke and mockery of it all and it means nothing that way and it's not valuable to anyone if it's by force

Kdut:
That U got used and abused by one family doesn't give U the audacity to insult and label an entire ethnic group or groups. It shows Ur level of reasoning and tolerance. I pity for her though. Meanwhile to answer U. There's always someone older or suitable for the job of playing the role. Anyone blood related or marriage related or even any kinsman (related by blood or ancestry) can play that role it's symbolic and a necessary part of the ceremony

Your whole wedding culture is a joke mate it's that simple and there is absolutely nothing traditional or symbolic about it, now it's only greed and dominance nothing more

This whole country and all tribes and all wedding cultures in Nigeria are built on lies, slavery, rape, intolerance, female abuse and none of you will get off your asses and independently research it and learn the truth and stop spouting the nonsense about it

And you think everyone in the world wants to celebrate that histroy and those lies when all just bully boy men like you throwing tantrums and all because you deem all that nonsense necessary?

Kdut:
That U got used and abused by one family doesn't give U the audacity to insult and label an entire ethnic group or groups. It shows Ur level of reasoning and tolerance. I pity for her though. Meanwhile to answer U. There's always someone older or suitable for the job of playing the role. Anyone blood related or marriage related or even any kinsman (related by blood or ancestry) can play that role it's symbolic and a necessary part of the ceremony

How is any of it necessary
Explain what makes you even think that?
Explain how Nigerian fathers and Uncles are respectful and deserve any of that crap when.....

1) you don't actually raise your own kids the mothers do while you don't even do the bare minimum

2) you don't ask or request you demand and don't understand everyone can just say no and Bleep no and you cannot do a thing about it

If you destroy the relationship over that crap then a man can just sue you for all costs back and emotional damages crap

3) you seem to think anyone older automatically deserves respect and should be listened to just because they are older

Bleep no, the generation that believes women are property?
The generation that turned a bride price from a symbol of respect and thanks into a way to profit from their own daughters?
The generation that believes if a woman is raped then it's her fault?
The generation that believes its OK, that it's fine, that it's good, that it's acceptable, that legal for them marry off underage girls of 15 and under not 18 or 21?
The generation that until 10 years ago was cutting up daughters genitals in female circumcision FGM until we forced you to make it illegal and stop it

What on earth do you think they should be respected for exactly? A generation of rapists, child molesters and child abusers that human lives mean nothing to?

You think that mindset should honoured and not just go extinct?

Kdut:
That U got used and abused by one family doesn't give U the audacity to insult and label an entire ethnic group or groups. It shows Ur level of reasoning and tolerance. I pity for her though. Meanwhile to answer U. There's always someone older or suitable for the job of playing the role. Anyone blood related or marriage related or even any kinsman (related by blood or ancestry) can play that role it's symbolic and a necessary part of the ceremony

And you obviously didn't read the question if you say can anyone older, I clearly typed they are both the oldest in their families as everyone else is brown bread

Kdut:
That U got used and abused by one family doesn't give U the audacity to insult and label an entire ethnic group or groups. It shows Ur level of reasoning and tolerance. I pity for her though. Meanwhile to answer U. There's always someone older or suitable for the job of playing the role. Anyone blood related or marriage related or even any kinsman (related by blood or ancestry) can play that role it's symbolic and a necessary part of the ceremony

if any of that crap and waste of time was necessary THEN IT WOULD BE THE ONLY WAY TO GET MARRIED NIGERIA!!

and the humans rights law freedom to marry wouldn't exist you silly man

Kdut:
That U got used and abused by one family doesn't give U the audacity to insult and label an entire ethnic group or groups. It shows Ur level of reasoning and tolerance. I pity for her though. Meanwhile to answer U. There's always someone older or suitable for the job of playing the role. Anyone blood related or marriage related or even any kinsman (related by blood or ancestry) can play that role it's symbolic and a necessary part of the ceremony

None of it is necessary at all
None of what you do today has anything to do with the crap your ancestors started as traditions

No one abused me simply because I know your laws better than you people and None of your traditions apply to non Nigerian men or Nigerian men UNLESS HES COMFORTABLE DOING IT AND CONSENTING TO IT

but the moment a man says no and the woman's family mentions it again it becomes illegal and that man can just sue and he wins because thr law is freedom to marry, a human rights law that is higher priority over customary law making customary law irrelevant

Once 2 people over 21 years old what any family says is irrelevant

Can a family legally demand an introduction?
No

Can a family legally demand a bride price?
No

Can a family legally demand to talk for a man or woman?
No

Can a family demand anything at all?
No

Can a couple just not tell a woman's mother and father and just get married?
Yes

Can a couple just plan personalised wedding on their own terms and send out invitations once it's arranged?
Yes

And no family in Nigeria has family values anymore just look at social media and it's endless women wanting to spend men's money and endless men wanting to sleep with as many women as possible The only time family values Matter you here is when a wedding is happening so greedy old men can try and rinse the groom and his family and get his ego stroked in fake traditions

No one in Nigeria has traditional or cultural values anymore or it would literally be impossible to get a woman here I to bed until a wedding

And you all know no one respects Nigeria at all not even Nigerians

Azazyel:
Spartacus, are you still alive

Actually check how often I'm on here and it's not often only a few days in a row when I have nothing better to do

And I'm norse not Greek

See, no one can answer it

Because your traditions are bullshit and meaningless and only become fake mandatory when its trying to marry one of your daughters but actually mean nothing to you except dominance over other people's lives when they are not nigerian

brain54:
That's really a weird question...

It does say that in the title and you people keep screaming your annoying and fake traditions are important so someone must know the answer

Surely someone can tell me, its driving me mad since you all believe your bloody traditions and crap are so important