₦airaland Forum

What some people dont understand is that, the disadvantage of not picking your own wife comes with a lot of package, having dated for 2months without seeing frequently and getting pregnant led to this, you can imagine things that I had to put through for 6 and the half years, if it wasnt for maturity, the union would have been over. I am trying my best, not saying I am perfect in my own ways, but 100% sure the rock that holds the foundation of the union is within me.

She feels very bad about my not eating, and so worried about it, I dont feel good that she feels that way, and neither is it ego that is making me refuse her food, just that I hate being taken for granted without being remorseful, it makes me feel like less of whom I know myself to be. As it stands now, we have decided that breakfast should be out of the picture, only dinner. That way, this problem will stop. For everyone of you that called me names, I thank you, and for those that somehow understood my pain and plight, may God continually endow your knowledge and understanding.

I dont even know where to start from, but I'll make myself clear and very detailed. I understand if insult is being thrown here and there because alot of people will never understand the kind of wife I have. In marriage, both parties need to sacrifice alot to keep the marriage going and maintain it to the core. When it comes to the sacrifices, I have done everything I can to hold it down, I am not a bad husband, neither am I a nagging type.

People, I know what am doing when I talked about paying all the bills, I knew alot will call for my head, what I was trying to insinuate was that, its not like I have a million in my account, but people trust me, I try alot, I work alot people, just to take care of my children and my wife, it takes alot of enery, I am even shedding tears right now, cos if you people know me, u know how good I am of a person to carry this family along, In all ramification, I have, and always been taking care of my responsibility, so I expected her to do her when it is proper. I am a man that stands on my word, blv me u peeps, if her reason for leaving the house wasnt enough for me to say, you can go, I was 100% sure she would have made the food b4 she left, but because she wanted to go assist the nanny,this issue became a problem when all of a sudden she branched somewhere else, so where is the importance of going to the daycare when that little time u had to face the road to go pick something can get me food on the table? I just feel both parties just have to take care of their responsibilities. This is not the first time I am sorting myself, I sort myself when I have the strength to do that, and not when I cant. In marriage, trust sis built and maintained from openess and transparency, if your wife tells u she's rushing to the daycare, and she suddenly have faced another location? There has been trust issues right from day 1, because I have seen things that would make 90% of men consider her as a cheating wife, but because I want to keep my home and focus my mind on providing for the family, I dont really keep tabs on that. My own is, nobody can really understand what goes on in peoples home, I am 100% sure if you guys know, majority of the comments here would have gone the other way round. I like to communicate and resolve issues, but at this point, I am almost fed up, because whatever issue we thrash, this same woman will go back to the same vomit, so it makes resolving issue most of the time hard for me.

Nlanders,

Good afternoon all, something happened of recent I thought I should make it known here. I work from home, cos my wife runs a daycare, though she's got two Nannies that work with her which means she gets to work at anytime she wants at times.

This fateful morning, I had gone to drop the kids @school and branched at the carwash to wash the car, on getting there, she called me that she needs to leave home to meet up the nanny and assist at the daycare cos the other nanny has not arrived, I said can you quickly make something for me to eat b4 u leave, she
said time has gone that she wont be able to do that, being a very understanding and considerate husband, I said she could leave, that I'll sort myself.

In fact she was so much in a rush that she had to leave our maid that follows her from home to work @ home cos the lady was still in the bathroom like she told me. It wasn't up to 10mins, maybe she forgot oo, she said there is traffic jam on the road, that it seems that fuel scarcity is looming again due to queue, asking me if that was the case, Instead of answering her question, I asked where she was going, because that wasn't the way to the daycare she claimed she was heading to. She said she wants to go and pick her internet modem she forgot @ fcmb bank. I was like, but you left due to the fact that you wanted to assist the only nanny with the kids @ daycare, how come modem is more important than that or the food I begged you to make b4 u left, she said well I just have to go there now before her modem vanishes, I said no P.

At that time, I was back home and was really hungry, am the type that makes food, but the hustle in January was hella much, the motive of having to do anything was greatly paralytic, I take care of all the bills, so I understand what am talking about, body nor be fire wood. So i called her later on to ask if she can come home to quickly make the food, work place to home is like 5 mins drive, she said she's been stuck in traffic that she would need to head back to the creche since she didn't go there at first, I was like no P.

10 mins later, I called to ask her something, she apparently was in a noisy environment, I was like, aren't u back at the daycare, she was like NO, I quickly branched at the market to buy something, in which Market wasn't even far from home, like 2 mins, at that moment, I was so angry, so I flared up, I told her 'but why are u doing this", all along the reason u left the house has not been met to the detriment of the hunger am going through now, I was like u know what don't bother, will sort myself, and she was like no P.

However, she had left her wedding band on the room table, though we both agreed that whenever she forgets her ring, she would have to come back home to pick it, so I quickly used the ring as opportunity to trick her home, I was like come and pick ur ring, u have forgotten it again, she was like no oo, she cant, I was like have u forgotten our agreement, I said just come home and pick it. 4 mins later, she bashed in, started yelling, I am sure its because of trust u have enforced me to come home and pick the ring, blah blah blah, at the worms in my stomach were doing takwando training at the moment, I just kept quiet, she tried to abusively hold my head acting like she wanted to pet me, I withdrew, next thing, she just hissed and left, saying I am not even picking the ring, you can do your worse. From that day, I have decided not to eat her food, 2nd reason I am posting this is regarding this thread below:

https://www.nairaland.com/1307880/not-eating-wife-food-punishment

Is my situation legitimate enough to deny her food? Cos it seems a lot of people are against refusal of wifey food no matter the situation, but i feel the situation here is different. Plus she has been remorseless about the situation, and 7 years already into this union, we have been battling the issue of her responsibility on food from day 1, old problem that I feel should have expired, so we can work on new probs. Brothers and sisters, your 10kobo is needed.

I am really sorry, was in a rush when i posted it. Shes almost 9 years with driving experience, hardly does she scratch. This happened strangely my people, I need people that are good in reading meaning or interpretation to issues such as this, cos its strange.

I appreciate.

Nlanders,

I dont seem to understand this, 3 days ago, my wife went out with the honda, she scratched the bumper and claimed an inexperienced person bashed it, yeserday went out with the toyota, saw this morning the bumper was seriously scratched, she claimed she didnt know anything about it, this afternoon, i mean just about now, went out with the Honda, called me minutes later that danfo reversed and bashed the side, claiming she came down begging the driver to take the car to panel beater, but that the police man in the danfo said the man cannot come down, because he's going somewhere important, am confused, could this 3 days consecutive bashing me co-incidental or is there something else to this?