Politics they say is an intriguing game, The people’s Democratic Party and the presidency has been put into a state of quagmire, This is coming as the First Lady, Dame Patience Jonathan against all odds have pitched tent with the main opposition party the All Progressive Congress(APC)...click below to see why

http://fake9janews.com/2014/11/breaking-first-lady-patience-jonathan-defects-apc/

Fake Naija News have come across a story which is sweeping round Ibadan like wild fire about a native doctor who has such legendary healing prowess in his mouth that just the odour of his mouth was capable of bringing a dead man back to life.,,click below to see full report

http://fake9janews.com/2014/11/babalawo-raises-man-dead-ibadan/

A 200 Level student of the Department of Mass Communication, Covenant University has been recently expelled by the school authorities for indulging in “acts of indecent behavior manifested through reckless dressing”.

FNN would like to remind our readers of the time when the school management in October 2013 passed a regulation calling for all students to be well dressed at all times within the campus...click below to see full report

http://fake9janews.com/2014/10/covenant-university-male-student-expelled-wearing-waist-trimmer-campus/

This week, CEO of Apple Inc, Tim Cook in a press conference announced to the public his sexual orientation, leading to a hot topic that has been discussed severally all around the world.

However, not all the feedback from this announcement has been positive, as news reaching FNN seems to indicate that the federal government of Nigeria, as well as a few other African countries, is set to place a ban on the sale or usage of all Apple products within the country, with prosecution and a sentence of up to 14 years imprisonment as the penalty for disobedience.

Speaking to an FNN correspondent, an FG spokesperson explained that the government would not go back on its stance on homosexuality and same-sex marriage, and also explained that the reason the penalty was 14 years is that purchasing or using goods made by such a company is tantamount to encouraging and practising such unlawful acts, and as such would carry the full punishment accorded by law.

It is not yet clear whether this law will be passed, or the reaction of the general public to these reports. More as this story develops.

It seems the Federal Government and Nigerian Armed Forces are on course to reach a compromise with Boko Haram for the release of the Chibok Girls, according to news bits reaching us...click below to see full report

http://fake9janews.com/2014/10/will-cease-fire-buhari-names-shekau-running-mate-boko-haram-reveal-video/

Chocolate City has confirmed that the much awaited Album of the undisputed Champion, M.I titled “The Chairman”, which is to be released today may just be the last Album fans get from the punchline master...click below to see why

http://fake9janews.com/2014/10/m-discloses-thechairman-album-last-see/

If feelers from Aso Rock is anything to go by, then it appears all is not well with the First Family. This is coming as reports from our state house correspondent made us aware that the President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, might have joined the teaming population that is not happy with his wife, dame Patience Jonathan...click below to see full report

http://fake9janews.com/2014/10/breaking-president-jonathan-declares-office-first-lady-vacant/

A 40 year Old woman in Mushin area of Lagos threw a party for her friends and family to celebrate the occasion of her husband satisfying her in bed after 15 years of a boring sex life...click below to see full report

http://fake9janews.com/2014/10/woman-throws-party-celebrate-husband-satisfying-bed/

A 30-year Old man gave his testimony in church of how the Lord shamed his enemies and secured victory for his faithfuls in the El Clssico match between Barcelona and Real Madrid yesterday.

The man who danced to the altar in one of the churches situated at Iyana Ipaja in Lagos narrated how God was so good to him by securing victory for his European team, Real Madrid.

According to him, “The Lord is good. He once again proved himself in my life when he granted my European team victory over their counterparts yesterday. You see, God is so good that he can surprise us even where there is no hope.”

It turned out that the real reason why the exuberant young man was pleased by the victory was because he won some money as a result of bettinng on the match.

We at FNN have recorded another first in the Nigerian Journalism sector yet again. After months of solicitation and Negotiations and obtaining documented written and verbal assurances that no harm would befall him, FNN Political correspondent, Abdul Ibn Nnferoz, was granted access to the Boko Haram stronghold deep in the heart of the Sambisa forest, for a daring No Holds Barred Interview with its leader, Abubakar Shekau (or the man who claims to be Abubakar Shekau).

FNN: Good Afternoon Mr. Shek….

SHEKAU: No, No, No. Don’t you dare annoy me. I did not permit you to come into this place to insult me. I am Sultan Shekau now. You shall address me as such.

FNN: Pardon?

SHEKAU: You forget too quickly. The Caliphate still thrives in Michika and Konduga. Even Obama can’t stop us. Talk less of Goodluck Jonath……

FNN: I really don’t know if I should be calling you a Sul…. *guard cocks AK 47 loudly*

FNN: So, SULTAN Shekau, we would like to know the terms of the cease fire your organization reached with the Federal Government, if at all any was reached.

SHEKAU: Haahaaahaaa……they thought they could put me in a precarious situation. But God is on our side. Haahaaa. I cannot die. Obama cannot kill me. GEJ cannot kill me. The United Nations Moon Guy cannot kill me. I cannot di….

FNN: Could you please answer the question Sultan?

SHEKAU: Did you just call me Sultan?

FNN: Yes Sir. I did. You asked me to call you Sul..

SHEKAU: How Dare you call me Sultan?

*guard cocks gun again*

FNN: But……you just…….you said…..

SHEKAU: Call me Alhaji Shekau. You shall address me as such. Even Obama and Jonathan must address me as such.

FNN: Yes Alhaji Shekau. So back to the earlier question. Was a cease fire agreed? What are the terms of the cease fire? Why has your sect reneged on the agreement by way of the recend abduction of young women in Adamawa State?

SHEKAU: Haahaaa. First of all, Ya Allah, I negotiated a cease fire with some people. Were they from Jonathan? I don’t know. But I negotiated a Cease Fire. Did I break my agreement? No No. I did not. I did not “fire”. I abducted girls. Abduction is not kidnap. It is a technicality not too difficult to understand. They are not the same thing. Obama and Jonathan cannot tell me they are the same thing.

FNN: Are you asking the government to come back to the table to negotiate a separate agreement? A Cease Kidnap or something of the sort?

SHEKAU: That is their business. They can do that with the other Shekau

FNN: The what?

SHEKAU: The Other Shekau. Shekaus actually. I am but one Shekau. There are other Shekaus. They kill one, three will rise up. They aren’t Alhajis yet though, or Sultans. Just me for now.

FNN: Well……….thats mighty comforting to know there are more Shekaus. Now, if I may ask, with regards to the cease fire, has a time table for the release of the abducted Chibok girls been agreed upon?

SHEKAU: Time Table? This is not school.

FNN: Let me rephrase, when do you plan to return all the kidnapped girls?

SHEKAU: I never said anything about returning them

FNN: But…..the terms of your cease fire…..

SHEKAU: Obama cannot tell me how to return these girls

FNN: For God sake nobody said anything about Obama

*guard cocks gun*

FNN: My Apologies, but can we please focus on the questions here. DO YOU PLAN ON RETURNING THE CHIBOK GIRLS ANYTIME IN THE IMMEDIATE FUTURE, MR ALHAJI SULTAN SHEKAU??

SHEKAU: I don’t like being called all the titles at once

FNN: For Christ sake answer the bloody question!

*guard shoots in the air*

SHEKAU: Yes. Yes. I do plan on returning the girls soon. Immediately we are done abducting some other girls from Michika who shall replace the ones we release. You think I’m stupid? Haaahaaa! Jonathan cannot fool me. Obama cannot fool me. My men need women

FNN: Then they can go and get married to WOMEN. These are young girls who just want to go to school Alhaji Shekau. Why not get your men to get wives the proper way?

SHEKAU: Nobody wants to marry a terrorist, my good man

FNN: They could stop being terrorists

SHEKAU: That would limit their career opportunities. It’s the only thing they’re good at.

FNN: You. Don’t. SAY

SHEKAU: Say what?

FNN: nothing really. So there was no concrete cease fire agreement, and if at all there was, you do not plan on respecting it. You have no plan on releasing the girls. What exactly is the end game here, Alhaji Shekau?

SHEKAU: To become President

FNN: President of What?

SHEKAU: Nigeria

FNN: What?!

SHEKAU: Yes. To become President. Now go back and tell the people who sent you that I said

This…………I Alhaji Abubakar Shekau, plan to become president of Nigeria one day.

FNN: I will do that. Now can you tell your guard to stop pointing that thing at me?

SHEKAU: Also tell your people to send Cyril Stober next time. I don’t think I like you that much

FNN: Cyril Stober works for the NTA

SHEKAU: I don’t care. Now leave. Before I lose my temper

visit www.fake9janews.com for more hilarious news

It may come as a shock to some people, while others may not be surprised. It has been revealed by a source very close to Linda Ikeji that she is currently in a relationship with MAVIN Boss DON JAZZY. Linda Ikeji is Nigeria’s top celebrity blogger who has managed to single-handedly get herself to to the top of the blogosphere.

However, due to pressing demands from her fans and well wishers that she needs a man in her life, Aunty Linda as she is fondly called by her fans has finally settled down to a relationship, and the lucky beau is none other than the Boss who is also in need of companionship.

Don Jazzy who is Nigeria’s top music producer is one who has contributed immensely to the development of musical talent in Nigeria. However, he has refused up till now to take advantage of his fame and wealth in getting a beautiful lady as a wife, and had to succumb to workplace pressure.

The news about their relationship is still very low key, but FNN with their team of highly paid correspondents and reporters have their way of making classified gist readily available to Nigerians.

Don Jazzy had not yet proposed to Aunty Linda as at the time of writing the story.

Exclusive reports reaching FNN states that ceasefire reported to have been agreed between the Radical Boko Haram sect and the Federal Government might have just been a Charade.
This is coming as reliable reports depict the representative of the Boko Haram sect was neither the leader nor a stalwart, but a floor member who wanted the personal gain of 100 million naira offered by the Government to broker the said ceasefire deal.

As at the time of this report, we were made to understand that the FG is doing everything possible to track the said Imposter, who is known by only his firstname “Ibrahim” in order to retrieve their 100 million naira, especially because the purported ceasefire had led to the relaxing of our security agencies and subsequently surprise attacks by Boko Haram and a reported kidnap of about 40 women.

We at FNN are very much concerned about this development not only because the Government of the day acted short of expectations of the public, but also because this has now brought back the gloom of the abducted Chibok school girls, whom we believed will be gaining their freedom and rejoining their families soonest as a result of the acclaimed ceasefire.

However, in a related news, the main opposition party All Progressive Congress(APC) has called on the presidency and security operatives to be focused on finding and recovering the abducted girls, instead of focusing on finding and recovering the 100million naira, which will still be used in fraudulent PDP elections campaigns.

#BringBackOurGirls
#PrayForOurGirls

A girl in Ikeja has just been rushed to the hospital in a coma after receiving one of Korede Bello’s famous winks.
Korede Bello, who is one of MAVIN’S novel signings is known for his winks which has the ability too destabilize the neural composition of members of the opposite sex.

The unfortunate incident occurred at the Ikeja City Mall when Korede Bello walked into one of the departmental stores and purportedly winked at a girl who was shopping at the same store.

Eye witness report that the girl couldn’t comprehend her luck as she collapsed in shock and exuberance. However FNN crew have veritable evidence to believe that the cause of the fainting was more because of the intensity of the wink than because of the girl’s excitement.

Efforts to revive the girl by pouring water on her proved abortive, and she had to be rushed to Ikeja General Hospital in an ambulance.

However, Korede Bello has since denied the allegation that he winked at the girl at that moment, instead, he claimed that an insect flew into his eye and he had to wink to flush it out.

This allegation by Korede Bello might avail him if the Police decides to prosecute him for non-aggravated assault.

Mavins ft Don Jazzy All Star UK Concert Press Conference. The hottest crew in Nigeria is hitting the shores of England, Performing at London’s Ritz, Manchester on the 21st October and Indigo O2, London on the 23rd October 2014. Featuring Tiwa Savage, Dr SID, D’ Prince, Di’ja, Reekado, and Korede Bello and none other than Don Jazzy Himself.


FNN representative caught up with Mavin Diva, asking how she planned to wow the UK fans and tiwa did not hold back saying ” this is not Nigeria anymore, where i show my body and they start talking…this is the UK ….So my performance would be memorable…i would be naked for 5-10 mins for my hit single Wanted”

Further questioned about how her husband would take or react to this..she replied ” lol…who is bringing in the money ..he has no option…but he is ok with it”

Tiwa Savage is set to rebrand her style of music at the MAVIN UK TOUR which kicks off tomorrow.The novel plan is for Mrs Tiwa Savage to perform totally naked on stage to the ectsasy of the crowd.

We recall that one of her recent videos, WANTED portrayed her as a sex vixen ready to work for the gratification of males. This new tactic is probably in line with her latest tradition of disregarding the moral values Nigerians hold in high esteem.

The news which was meant to be a surprise was leaked to FNN by a reliable source inside the MAVIN camp. FNN can categorically confirm that if Madam Tiwa performs naked within the territoriAl boundary of Nigeria, her approval ratings will sink so low.

Keep your fingers crossed as FNN promises to update you with live pictures of her naked performance ..visit www.fake9janews.com for more hilarious news

In what many have classified as a hypocrisy-ladden publicity stunt, the Presidency released pictures and videos of the President GEJ carrying bags of rice in a relief camp in Maiduguri, an area that has been hard hit with the Boko-Haram insurgency.

Observers say that the President, who was in company of the Stomach Infrastructure Inventor, Mr. Fayose (who doubles as the Ekiti State Governor), both folded up their sleeves and off-loaded bags of rice from a waiting truck amidst tight security, mirroring the rice bag carrying tactics of revered Prophet T.B Joshua (who had no security).

Meanwhile, Opposition leaders have said that the President is just trying all means necessary to solicit votes from the electorate as political heavyweights prepare to slug it out for the 2015 Presidential Ticket.

This was countered by PDP media secretary, Oliseh Metuh, speaking to FNN, who said ” we have tested this theory scientifically as seen in Etiki state, ‘People + Bags of rice = Election Victory’, this is why we have brought in Fayose to assist the President carry out the tests on a larger scale”.

Following this, FNN received Unconfirmed reports have it that a four time Presidential Aspirant, GMB, is scheduled to drink “Kunu” with motorcycle riders and suya sellers with a view to “bonding” with them...click below to see pictures

http://fake9janews.com/2014/10/president-goodluck-jonathan-also-carries-bags-rice-borno-state-see-pics/

As most of us most have heard, The Nigerian Football Federation(NFF) has relieved head coach of the Nigerian National Team(Super Eagles), Stephen Keshi of his duties. Like with similar events, sacks and appointments in the country, this was certainly with some amount of politicking.

Exclusive reports made available to FNN through exhaustive investigations revealed that accusing fingers are ones again pointing to the main opposition political party in Nigeria, the All Progressive Congress (APC), whom has vouched to relinquish power from the ruling Peoples Democratic Party (PDP).

contrary to the widespread believe that Keshi was sacked due to the recent poor performance of the super eagles, We were made to understand that top notch leaders of APC and loyalists to some of the echelons of the party moved swiftly to effect his sack when they noticed that Keshi might have slyed them and decided to improve the performance of the team and make the Country qualify for the forthcoming African Nations Cup in Morocco, which was evident from the super Eagles latest 3-1 win over Sudan in the quest to seek qualification.

As absurd as this might sound to some whom are not familiar with Nigerian politics, it is note worthy that the APC planned on using the failure of the Super Eagles to qualify for the Continent’s Apex soccer event to campaign as one of the reasons for Nigerians not to vote for the President Jonathan led Transformation Agenda of the PDP come 2015 general elections.

This has answered the bewildering question asked by FNN readers and soccer fans in Nigeria, which is simply why wasn’t Keshi sacked when Nigeria lost to Congo, when they drew in South Africa, when they lost to Sudan but was sacked few hours after they won the second tie in Abuja; the super Eagles first win in seven matches. Hence, we wait to see how the new caretaker Coach Amodu Shaibu will be able to carry out the said APC agenda..if this made you laugh ..you get more funny news on www.fake9janews.com thanks for reading

In a bid to avert any resurgence of the Ebola Virus Disease in Nigeria, President Goodluck Jonathan announced today that all flights coming in from The United States of America have been banned from landing in Nigeria until further notice.

He said this was in response to the new case of Ebola reported in the US yesterday, bringing the total number of Ebola Cases to 2 (after Thomas Eric Duncan who died of the disease).

In a press release from earlier this morning, the president reiterated; “Diplomatic Ties between both Nations will remain very cordial, but in order to safeguard the Health and Lives the people of Nigeria which I am under oath to protect, henceforth all flights from the USA are banned from landing at our International Airports till further notice.”

“This is in response to the new case of Ebola reported there. We are not trying to make America look bad, not at all. We are just taking precautions. However I just want to remind Obama…….remember when I asked for Serum and you said No? How’s it now? Tables turned abi? Better stop calling me to ask how I controlled Ebola. Yes I know you’re the one calling with hidden number. My fren I have true caller app on my phone. Abati put it there”

“Diplomatic ties remain cordial, irrespective”

“The ban shall be lifted after the US is declared Ebola free, after which all flights from the US will be under a 6 month probation period, during which all Airlines coming in from America have to pay a token sum of $50,000 for every plane landing (funds will be directed towards disinfection and sanitation as well as serving as a guarantee, in case there is an infected person on board). We are doing this for the good of everybody, American and Nigerian Alike. I reiterate, Obama please stop calling me”

“Long Live the Federal Republic of Nigeria”

#DontMissTheNextFunnyThing..if this made you laugh ..you get more funny news on www.fake9janews.com thanks for reading

In a bid to avert any resurgence of the Ebola Virus Disease in Nigeria, President Goodluck Jonathan announced today that all flights coming in from The United States of America have been banned from landing in Nigeria until further notice...click below to see full report

http://fake9janews.com/2014/10/ebola-latest-president-goodluck-jonathan-bans-flights-us/

A father in Shomolu area of Lagos State has allegedly flogged his 16-year old daughter for not wearing bra to school today.

The unfortunate incident resulted when the girl attempted to keep track with today’s trend, which is the #NoBraDay, which enjoins females to create awareness for Breast Cancer by freeing their breasts from the choking stranglehold of brassieres.

This initiative is initially intended for busty ladies with well developed mammary glands.
However, the 16 year old girl who is currently recuperating at an undisclosed private hospital in Lagos had her buttocks thrashed by her father when she attempted to leave the house without a bra on.

The father reportedly got out his cain and flogged the living daylights out of his daughter, and his neighbors had to beg him to stop him from killing her.

Eyewitness said he lost count after he heard the man flog his daughter more than 100 times and he didnt look like slowing down...visit www.fake9janews.com for more hilarious news

#DontMissTheNextFunnyThing

Arsenal FC’s well documented injury crisis just got a lot worse after it was revealed that Arsene Wenger would be sidelined from the touch line for a few weeks after injuring his knee while on a routine visit to his injured players.

Arsenal who already have Mesut Özil, Mikel Arteta, Olivier Giroud, Aaron Ramsey among others on the injury table, had announced Wenger would be paying visits to all injured players. However trouble struck when he was at About Diaby’ house.

Reports reaching FNN say while he was knocking on the door a group of angry Arsenal fans flocked to chant anti-Wenger slogans including “Wenger Out”.

In a bid to escape he tried to jumper a fence but fell down on his knee. Initial tests showed he could be out for 3 to 4 weeks, but Doctors say it could be more.

Arsenal will have to make do without their manager for a couple of important games, while Steve Bould takes temporary charge

#DontMissTheNextFunnyThing

It was a very serious issue in Warri, Delta State this morning when a Pastor healed an Ebola patient of the killer disease in one of the Pentecostal churches located at the heart of the town.

Eye witness reports reveal that the patient was brought into the church wearing a protective gear which was also serving as a containment gear.

Many persons in the church began to get panicky when the rumour started spreading that an Ebola patient had been brought in, with several of them fleeing the premises.

However, the Man of God, Pastor Godspower Idongesit decided to take charge of the situation, and ordered the ushers to shut the doors of the church in a bid to prevent any more member from fleeing.

The pastor then commenced to administer Spiritual therapy on the patient. He orderred the ushers to take off the protective clothing from the infected patient, while he asked all the members of the church to speak in tongues. He finally laid his hands on the patient, who jumped up immediately after feeling the impact of the anointing.

There was an instant transformation in the skin of the patient, as the rashes on his skin cleared, while his body temperature became stable.
The whole congregation erupted in shouts of praises while they followed him to the hospital to confirm his negative status.

#DontMissTheNextFunnyThing

The Falcons of Jediane, fuelled by a deafening atmosphere inside Khartoum Stadium, brought down the African champions down to their knees with a commanding display

Nigeria’s chances of qualifying for the 2015 Africa Cup of Nations became slimmer as they lost 1-0 to Sudan in Saturday’s Afcon qualifier played in Khartoum...click below to see full report

http://fake9janews.com/2014/10/breaking-mikels-dad-kidnapped/

If President Goodluck Jonathan has his way, then Nigerians might be in for one of the most intriguing cross-carpeting episodes in Our Political History, as the President has voiced his intention to name Lagos State Governor, Babatunde Raji Fashola as his Running Mate in the 2015 General Election – Despite the very OBVIOUS fact that Fashola is a stalwart of the APC, the country’s main opposition party.

He disclosed this much during a Media chat over the weekend, with FNN correspondents in attendance. President Goodluck Jonathan while touching on several issues, ranging from Boko Haram to Linda Ikeji’s blog wahala, unconsciously said

“But honestly……….in my heart of hearts, I would like Fashola to run with me in 2015 as my Vice President. I am tired of Namadi”.

Stunned Journalists, seeing an opening, prodded President Jonathan even further. Here are excerpts from the Interview:

“Yes, you know. I believe the only stumbling block to that would be our party affiliations. We can always sort that out. He wouldn’t say no to an offer to serve his country in that capacity”

“And Namadi? I don’t even know. Sometimes I forget he exists. Is he in Abuja right now or in his hometown? I don’t know. Is he asleep or awake? I don’t know. Is he in this room right now? I have no idea. That man doesn’t tell me anything. Just some days back I asked for his advice on this South Africa Arms wahala. Can you believe this man doesn’t know about any South Africa Arms Deal? And there have been 2 of them! I think it’s because he’s always sleeping or drinking tea. I hear Fashola doesn’t like Tea. Prefers Orijin. He likes his liqueur. Like a real Ijaw man like me”.

We tried to reach Gov. Fashola to comment on the issue, all to no avail. More of this in subsequent bulletins

#DontMissTheNextFunnyThing

As bizarre as this may sound,this was the scene in a Lagos popular night club,liquid lounge at ikeja where 20 Unilag girls were not allowed entry into the club after the bouncer noticed they were fake down to their buttocks.

According to an eye-witness,the girls ..click below for full story

http://fake9janews.com/2014/10/20-unilag-girls-bounced-night-club-wearing-butt-pads/

FNN gathered that the congregation of Our Lord Jesus is a Ladder Ministry was in a state of joy and intrigue on Sunday when their Pastor disclosed that he went to heaven over the weekend. This joy of expecting an illustration of heaven was immediately disturbed by confussion and side talks when he narrated what actually transpired.

According to the pastor, who survived a cardiac arrest on Friday evening and was in coma for few hours expressed his displeasure for coming back to earth, and broke down into tears when he said.

“una no go understand how eee dey pain me, because I dey speak grammar…

Asin, as I reach the gate of heaven, everywhere just white, dey shine, fine like heaven.
Nai Angel appear with white iPad, begin dey flip through wetin dey like my records on earth.
As I see d Angel dey smile, dey nod head, I begin happy, I feel like say I don hammer, I go enter enter heaven.

“well I’m a pastor, I pay my tithes, help the poor, live a holy life and lead people to Christ etc, so I wasn’t too surprised.”

Nai Angel say ” You have done well, you fought a good fight” as I wan jump up….
Angel say “but wait we have a new update, I haven’t checked”

“At about 12:30pm today, you drove accross an interjunction despite the traffic light showing ‘Red’ on your lane, and it shows here that you have several of this traffic light/road traffic offences on your records”

“Na I cry..dey shout, Angel Gabriel dat one sef follow? But eee no dey for bible na, you dey mind Nigeria traffic light, police and road safety? Chaii!!!! Angel abeg I beg u in d name of God

“With cognisance of the good work you’ve done in the body of Christ, You won’t be sent to hell, but you’ll be sent back to earth to pay the fines for your traffic offences and hopefully if and only if you remain steadfast in your work in Christ and stay clear of traffic offences, you’ll be allowed to enter heaven, the next time you get here” those were the last words of the Angel.

As I dey beg dey talk “but opportunity comes ones” nai I wake up from wetin una call coma, the thing pain me reach my blooood.

Although the pastor went further to express his happiness in rejoining with his family and church members, he pointed out that he wished he had entered heaven and not returned.

FNN hereby use this medium to call on all and sundry not to only strive to live in accordance to the stipulated of their faiths but also try to obey the laws(eg. Traffic laws) of the land.

BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY.

#DontMissTheNextFunnyThing

At the time of filing this report, it appears Linda Ikeji’s troubles have started simmering down as the blog is now up to an extent, accessible on on lindaikeji.mobi.

However, FNN can exclusively report that this was only possible after a compromise was reached between Linda, Google and the various people suing her.

We can authoritatively report that Linda Ikeji has agreed in principle to pay the sum of N100,000 each to every person or blog owner she has ever stolen an article from.

Initial calculations have shown that, taking into consideration the vast number of articles Linda has allegedly plagiarized, the eventual sum might be in excess of N100 million.

For now, she has reportedly made available the sum of N800, 000 to start the settlements, and sources also reveal she is thinking of taking OLX up on their offer and putting her Brand New Range Rover up for sale to finance the settlement.

In the meantime, she has made concerted efforts to get her blog running again on WordPress but has been told she would have to make a substantial down payment to take care of any “unforeseen legal conundrums” in the future.

FNN tried to get word from Linda herself but all she said was “I shall be back and Better”. More of this in subsequent bulletins...

Reliable reports reaching FNN headquarters states that Nollywood A-list actress Genevieve Nnaji has joined the league of Nigerian entertainment Celebrities that are venturing into politics, come 2015...click below to see full report

http://fake9janews.com/2014/10/atiku-announces-genevieve-vice-president-2015/

Reliable reports reaching FNN states that Mavin’s Diva Tiwa Savage and her former Manager TeeBillz might have had so many issues of contention in their marriage, which has fuelled the recent rumours about their nuptial hitting the Rocks, despite her being set to release her single titled “My darling”; a possible ode to her husband.

Unlike how the media reports about a possible cheating of one or both of them as a probable main reason for the smokes, The real issue might just be more biological and in-house.

According to a close friend of the couple, Teebillz has hinted several times that the main problem is Tiwa Savage not wanting to fully accept the duties and expectations of a married woman, “Tiwa has refused to have children citing that it will put a hiatus to her now glowing musical career, especially at a time she’s working on her second Album and her Mavin crew is on the forefront of the entertainment industry”. He quoted TeeBillz

Teebillz who has wasted no time in showing the public how much he loves and adores Children, by repeatedly showing off his adorable two kids from his previous marriage via social networks like Instagram, haven’t been able to come in terms with Tiwa’s decision, especially because as our mothers will say “she’s not getting any younger” and he can’t wait to show the world their child too.

FNN is hoping the celebrity couple will be able to come to an understanding on this very important issue of when to have kids, even though some of our readers and fans of the couple are of the view that TeeBillz should be patient with her, while some are insisting her family obligations are paramount, hence should come before her Music career.

VISIT www. FOR MORE HILARIOUS NEWS

Islamist extremist sect Boko Haram have just released another missile against Nigerians in their battle against Western Education. This is in the form of guerrilla warfare, wherein they tricked The Federal Government into believing that their leader, Abubakar Shekau is dead.

It has recently been revealed that the person killed by the Nigerian Army was not Abubakar Shekau, but his clone. Furthermore, Boko Haram has revealed that they have 9 more “Shekau copy-cats” ..no pun intended .

The plan was one which was known by only Boko Haram top commandants. Most members of the sect were even unaware of it. However, FNN was able to manoeuvre their way through the intricacy of lies and deceit which spellbound many Nigerians into believing that Boko Haram maestro, Abubakar Shekau is dead.

This shocking news via a video clip was sent to FNN mail box, where 9 exact look alike of Abubakar Shekau were paraded, alongside the real Shekau himself, while they were all chanting “Allahu Akbar”. The video will be uploaded on Youtube shortly.

This latest development has left top military commanders perplexed, as they seem to be in a state of confusion. The battle against Boko Haram just got tougher, because no one can tell who the real Shekau is anymore.

However, this move seems to be confusing because Boko Haram are using the benefits of Western education which they so greatly abhor in the fight against it.

FNN promises to keep you updated as events progress, click below to see video

http:///2014/10/shocking-cloned-shekau-boko-haram-reveal-new-video/

#DontMissTheNextFunnyThing

Reliable reports reaching FNN states that Mavin’s Diva Tiwa Savage and her former Manager TeeBillz might have had so many issues of contention in their marriage...click below to see full report

http:///2014/10/tiwa-savage-refuses-baby-teebillz-breaks-silence/