₦airaland Forum

Time to post my own reply.....

A poem that just dropped into my head and I am about to let my emotions flow through it. Mazi... You better like the poem and make a comment beneath it o ... I mean am .....


Give it a title dear readers.....


Tell the aged wind of the pains
Flowing right through my broken heart
Tell the Storm there are no gains
When from the rain you do part
Tell the dark clouds to align carefully
For emotions seems to have change with time
If love could be taken forcefully
Then with the Queen of England will I dine

I searched all round for a piece
A dot that seemed to hold answers
From left and right I was fleeced
My passion eating deeply like cancer
If I be able to express feelings
Why not take it to the hills
If love only ended with weepings
Why fall head over heels

Now the lines are fallen again
Whence do I start my quest from
Should I swallow all the blame
And pull the trigger to the gun
Can I let myself be used anew
While hidden in the deepest shadows
Nay - I will but paint my cloud blue
And give bright colours to my meadows

Once bitten I would remain shy
My fangs hiding in smiling lips
Yes - I would rather die
Than fall mugu to crazy bliss
Wishes are not horses but wagons
That pull you through life storms
Though your marks be jargons
Once printed on the sands - You have a KINGDOM



Dear Readers,

Though the storm prevailed and the wind kept howling all through the night. Though the day took 24 hours to come and the sun hid in shame behind the shadow of the moon, torchlights and candles still served their purpose. Perseverance is a key that opens even the doors of bank vaults in the dead of the night , now applied trickishly, the result would be way over the moon.

That said and done, it was really a memorable experience reading through Mazi's life like the pages of a book. Not all lives are an interesting read but a life that is filled with passion, intrigue, betrayal and thrills would make a bestseller even in hell. Such is the life we all just read through.

Lessons to learn amidst the moans and groans of women enduring the phallus of our hero if only we would block out the moans and look at the picture the writer is trying to paint. We would definitely be enthralled by the seeming colours that would burst out in our sights. Writers are painters but this time they bring inner emotions to life and make kings weep, catarrh coming out in abundance from their noses.

We all started the journey smoothly, fought roughly and made peace amicably, united we stood against external aggression even though we fought amongst ourselves for bits and pieces. We made it to the end of the tale this time not with the expected laughter but with handkerchiefs dripping with phlegm and salty tears. I must commend us, we found a family and brotherliness in this promiscuous trip we all partook in.

We became ONE!!!

One behalf of the author of this thrilling and between-leg tingling sensational write-up, I thank you all. Thank you for your time and dedication, your comments and cyber wars, your insults and love. They all helped made him develop a thick skin and giant ears which is an addition to his journey into the world of literature.

Not being a good critic myself, I had learned a lot from the critics on this thread and will definitely put it into use later. Do have a good time spamming the thread with your comments and counter comments. The field have been thrown open. Just open your eyes and wait for the episode to drop.

"LEGEND OF THE FFFUUUCCCKKEERRRSS!!!'

I dare say, that a platform would be opened for all of us to express ourselves in what ever way we wished, albeit it tallies with the topic of discus.



Peace!!!

Signed...

Foxybone
General Secretary (NPA)
Nigeria Players Association

Eneze1: what happened? hope all is well? why are you

No updates....

Eneze1: thank you so much dear, just reading this now, have been very busy, smiling to myself

If farts could be counted as talents, then I sure I'm one of the most talented peeps on earth. If farts could take peeps places, I should have toured the world farting for audiences, might even have farted during the swearing-in ceremony of GEJ to add a little substance to the event of the day. Or better still, I would have been invited by Obama during his inauguration ceremony to fart-sing the national anthem. Damn, my bowels are sure my greatest treasure, saving me when I find myself in a tight corner.

''Me I dey go house this weekend o, I don tire to stay here with no money and my foodstuff don dey finish.''

I announced to my room mate that morning. He looked at me with this 'are you effing serious' kinda look.

''No be just last week you go house and your foodstuff still plenty sef''

He replied me.

''Yes na but my brother no gimme anything, na now be im time to contribute to my education''

I answered him.

Truly I've gotten people that contribute each week to my schooling. Brothers and sisters who were done with their schooling and were working. To avoid complicating issues, I meet each of them on a different week.

Week - 1.... Papa

Week - 2.... Mama

Week - 3... My elder bro

Week - 4... My elder sis

So the cycle continues.

''Owk na, me go make sure say I flex this weekend like say you no dey.''

Roomie replied.

''No problem, just make sure say you no fry my egg finish and remain custard for me. No carry you babe wey like tea and biscuit come o, if I count say she chop pass 2 rows from this cabin, na your own I go chop o''.

I replied him. He just looked at me like I spewed poo and continued tapping on his phone. Very typical of Okoloba, my very brief abi na short room mate.

''Me don tell you o, if you try sef, I fit buy both of us that All Stars wey I talk.''

This got his attention.

''O boy, come dey go o, in fact na now your weekend go start.''

He said happily standing up and shoving me towards the door.

''O boy relax na, na evening thingz o, who wan enter this Kazaure sun by this time.''

I said to him after he succeeded in pushing me out and bolting the door from within. My room mate, both a pain in the balls and a very good friend.



*************************************

''Kano Busssss''

One of them conductors on a bus said. It was the eleventh bus to pass which I ignored, I was waiting for a Golf car.

''See, enter the next one wey you see o, you know say night don dey reach.''

Okoloba said. I made up my mind too.

''Na wa ne kudin mota''

I asked a conductor moments later.

''Darin biyu dan hamsin''

He replied.

''Ah ah... Kudin dari biyu ne''

I answered him back.

''To shiga, kana da canji ko''

He asked.

''E dama''

I replied him.

''No forget to buy am o''

My room mate said as the car zoomed off while I was wedged in between the conductor and some desert looking men. No word was exchanged and no other passenger was carried. We were just 6 in the car, me being the youngest and only student. I kept looking at the driver who concentrated on his driving while the conductor just sat inside the car not minding to call passengers who were scattered on the road.

I held myself firmly to the seat when I allowed my eyes to look at my legs, just between my neighbour's leg right on the floor of the car were sheated swords. Damn, I had entered some unlucky car, I was unsafe both ways cos I don't even know the intent of the men in the car.

Same moment, my bowel came to the rescue, no force, nothing, just fear was enough to activate a fart from the innerchambers of my system where sh:t are being stored.

My conscience was as clean as a slate as I started dishing out the farts in large silent quantities not minding the men glancing at me each time a new wave of smell hits them. They opened the window for the first time since the journey began, some of them sticking their face to the wind. I was undeterred, you don't get comfortable with wind hitting your face in a car driving at 120km/hr, I just upped my game. I started dishing out the ones that made annoying sound with the stench like a filled latrine.

''don't worry about the money''

The conductor screamed as the car zoomed off, I had been abandoned in the middle of nowhere. I boarded another car going to kano for a higher fee but I cared not, the day abi my life had been saved by my farts.


Farts could be medicinal and heroic in nature!!!!

I had refused to comment for one thing.... FEAR!!!

Yess... I am afraid of being banned by the moderator for being a nuisance. This section was fun when cuddlemii was here and writers were given the space to express themselves. When I discovered Mynd interferfing in some issues I knew that he had come to stay. The only thing I could not place is why we were not pre-informed.

In the Romance section, Ogugua88 was added to the list of moderators, the c.r.a.z.y dude Sexkillz still took it upon himself to announce it to the whole house. Thatz what I call moderating.

With the way my dear Mazi is going, I have the feeling in my bowels that he is not going to write anymore for Nairaland thus our losing another great writer.

First it was Pdude, Kayemjay and a host of others before Coolval... My humble self that only write now when I'm bored and no longer care about the feedback I'm getting. Well... Letz see how it goes.

Seun said the matter has been addressed, letz see how far the address will go.


Peace!!!

princesa: you must have been so notorious in school.

if you want 'glorified' come to my school too...... but it seems you guyz are more having fun





#do u have a grudge against me?#

Technically NO... Since we got to know ourselves outside NL there's been this cold shoulder you gave to me that made me had the feeling... You know that kind feeling na.


Apart from that I'm cool with you. I made the last update (though the error was terrible) because of you and I am glad you like it. Send me a mail.... Explain the reasons for your outbursts....


**looks around**

Before una start to dey think something, no be wetin think ooooo....

''Phhhhhhhssshhhhhh''

It was silent but being the owner, I felt it, heard it and mentally saw it leave the contours of the crack of my a.r.s.e. I maintained a straight face, youy don't wince in this kind of situation. It could be disastrous especially when the Dean of Student affairs was involved.

He had called us to the office when he heard of the things we had done, breaking laws that had been set for a long time and feeling no remorse about it. Well, I just a law and I hope I feel no remorse about it.

We had all come with the high expectation of entering into a higher institution where we would court freedom. Freedom to do as we please, organize parties, catch babes and most probably run some stuffs in the class at night as we had heard from our elder brothers but this happened not to be the case. Instead wee found ourselves in a glorified secondary school.

The laws were so much that the only thing that keeps reminding me that I was in the Polytechnic was the fact that I wore no uniforms to lectures and the lecturers don't hold canes in their hands but the security did though they never used it. We lived in perpetual fears because of what the older students had told us, how students were withdrawn at the slightest provocation.

Even a kids birthday party rocked more than our matriculation night party. It was filled with speech and laws on the dos and don'ts. Men, we had been promoted to SSS4 walai.

I initiated it on the 6th week of my stay in the boring school. I walked up to the female hostel to inquire of a babe that was giving me tough time. No reports was made on me as people had anticipated that from that day boys walked boldly to escort their girlfriends from the hostel. We also nicknamed the front of the female hostel ''Shadow'' as we practically spoiled the lights there so darkness could cover our stolen kisses and caresses.

The last straw was a guy that went all the way into the hostel in broad daylight to see his girlfriend who was sick. Well.... It generated commotions that we the initiators found ourselves in the Dean's office the 3rd day after seeing our names on the notice board.

The fear that was instilled in me when I saw my name freezed my bowels. I was eating but was not shitting but it meant nothing, the fear of being sent home marked my begining of wisdom. Do not overstretch authority.

********************************************

''Ignoring what you boys were doing is not a weakness on the part of the school, we just want you to enjor your stay for the mean time till after you see your first semester result. That's when you will understand the authority of the school. All your files had been on my table for........''

That line alone... Just that sentence loosened my bowel. I knew I needed a divine intervention to see ND2. Just when I thought I had felt all would be well, I felt the farmilar pressure on the opening of my anus. God, the AC was high but then it felt hot in my position. I looked at the Dean in the face, the way his mouth was moving up and down and a devilish thought crossed my mind.

I relaxed the holding force on my anus with a sigh and listened attentively as the air made its way out. I was the first to be enveloped in its ambience, all channels to oxygen was cut off, my eyes bulged out that I felt I would pass out but then, the fart belonged to me so it can't kill me.

If others perceived the smell they did not show it, they just stood their ground listening to the endless sermon none of them showing the least act of discomfort. Kai.... Aluta Continua!!! Solidarity forever!!!

''You would be rusticated from this!!!...... Hiaaannnn... Skrrruuurrr.... Tuuweeeeeyyyyy.... All of you gerroutttttt froooommmm myyyyy offfiiiiccceeee.....''

He ran away from his office before we did, we just turned and walked away as one body from the Dean's office. Our names disappeared from the notice board the next day.

I became a hero and my fart became a legend. It is still being discussed behind closed doors in the Polytechnic. You can confirm it yourself if you know the school I am talking about.



Solidarity Forever!!!

Aluta Continua...!!!

Victoria Assata...!!!

Walai I no go comment until I see something tangible read. When you dey use phone, try update wella. Mtchw