₦airaland Forum

they are telling Abbo he be small boy

these people like to borrow borrow

i don't know why channels or these tv stations pay attention to falana. the man dey shout too much

he will not go to Arise because dem go tear am to pieces over there

even the centre of excellence is silly. cardoso is right. you get ministry of education for these things

BoldBrainz:
Apart from the "Center of excellence" scheme meant for tertiary education empowerment, the rest were useless and fraudulent schemes.

He's right to trash them.

how did they know you were useless spiritually? what criteria they use?

things are tough, but you have a wasteful NASS

what happened to your previous superiors? were they sacked ??

don't push it further or the boss may replace you.

the two of them maybe his friends or relations

see as they pressure them to float. now they say, come get loan

with all their prayers, still a shithole

wetin be that black stuff for him hand?

if this man knows what he's doing, nigeria would have been better long ago

this man is very BLOODY

hahahahah

LAFOCUZY:
They want to kill the country. They recommended removal of subsidy and devalution of naira. This government obeyed to get their support. Now tax people more. The question is what are you taxing. There is nothing to tax.

this IMF wan kill us

country failed him, or you are supposed to make a living for yourself
people build countries

Nlkay:
Marriage is hard work and you must understand that your husband at this time has sulked into his frustrations and pressures. That man is depressed as the country has failed him.
You need to sit up and take it God in prayers.
Your husband needs to be get back to being himself and this can only done by talking to him and motivating him to get back on his tracks and vision as the leader of the home. He must be convinced of the need to reel our his plans while it's critically scrutinized to see what outcomes can function in Nigeria of today. Don't let your values drop, hold it high and focus on what must be done.
Your husband must get back on track with the help of you and only few who are willing to speak to him continuously to not fall himself and his immediate constituents. He must change his circle and stop gambling to get his focus back on track.
I hope this helps you. Take his matter to God privately. I wish I can speak with you. Enjoy your day. Bye

BUT really, do you generally feel you marry the WRONG person??

or are you just looking at his JOBLESSNESS as an excuse

this types of situation is very difficult to solve when you marry the wrong person.
usually the only way to solve it is DIVORCE.

rezky:
If will advice you to leave that lazy ass of a man., go far away from him., if not he will continue to disturb your mental health while you are still with him.

You are better off living alone with the little money you make to fend for yourself and children..,let see if he won't find means to survive if you go.

If i were your brother., i'll definitely support your decision..100%

how long should he support taking care of the kids. you know women no go stop complaining

soon, she go wan boss the man because she dey make all the money

NwaliE01:
Awesome, by the grace of God. I am abroad and here, taking care of children is a 50-50 thing and I feel it should be the same at home. The worst that can happen to any man is to be poor and arrogant which I believe were not in the context of this discuss.
If the man has no work, then he should support to take care of the kids.

you are wrong. they don't deserve each other especially if they are on opposite mindsets. a relationship only succeeds if there's agreement and understanding.

TheRealestGuy:
As I said, they probably deserve each other.

Also, I don't think divorce is a good option in any situation especially when kids are involved, although I appreciate that sometimes it is the practical option.

because the woman must also take care of the children. if the children are already OLD enough, no problem

NwaliE01:
What about some of us that our wives have never worked all their lives?

For example, my wife has never worked all her life. I have single handedly taking care of our home including building and furnishing a 4 bedroom bungalor (with a full solar system installation) for her parents.

When a man alone provides for his family and his inlaws, there will be no problem. But, when the table turn and the woman find herself in same position as the man, she would turn to complain and even question her love towards the man.

There's no where even in the bible where it said that only the men should provide for his home. The bible actually said any "man" (both man and woman) that cannot provide for his house hold is worst than an infidel.

My sister, all you can do is to suppport your husband. He must have learnt his bitter lesson from his past job experience that made him to insist on seeking for employment with multinationals.
Don't compare yourself with anyone even your subordinate in the office. Everyone is going through their unique struggles which they would not like to show you.
Follow the principles in God's word, honour your husband. Your strength as a woman is in your honour of your husband.
If you can afford the rent, please renew it. Heaven will not fall and besides you will still sleep in the same house and enjoy yourselves at night too.

Abeg, follow the word of God and the leading of the holy spirit.

when you see someone committing a crime, wouldn't you AVOID that person??
police is usually watching those people.

Prenonjebose:
This set up is terrible. Substance discovered in his absence, and no proof of it in his system. What is the possibility that these substances were not planted by the same person that had access to his house. It should be upturned by CASS.

so if you overhaul the mindset, she must DIVORCE the husband immediately, right?

TheRealestGuy:
Don't read to respond.

Read in-between the lines and you'll find the advice which is aimed at tackling the root cause of the issue.

Her mindset, values and outlook need major overhaul and reorientation.

sorry, you just thrashed the person. no real advice on the situation.

church hides all these qualities you mention, so you end up marrying the wrong person, they tell you God will fix the problem.
the other problem is those night virgil warriors that like to sleep in church everytime.

TheRealestGuy:
First, your mindset on a lot of things are so so wrong. The worst is you're raising kids and will impart them with such tainted philosophies of life.

I will take time to give you some examples.

1. Believing you deserve a smooth and happy life simply because you kept your virginity and lived a boring life in uni. You're probably one of the religiously overzealous Christians who completely have the concept of Christianity upside-down, thinking they will not suffer or go through hardship because they are "born again".

Wake up and smell the coffee. As it is said in the book of Ecclesiastes, the race is not for the swift, nor is the battle won by the mighty...Time and chance happens to them all...

2. The fact that you mentioned drinking, smoking and womanising as your major criteria in selecting a life partner shows your mentality is so backwards.

What happened to kindness, steadfastness, integrity, tenacity, mental and emotional maturity, inspirational and other more noble qualities to look out for when choosing a partner?

You have a lot of work to do to change your mindset and orientation!

3. Last but not the least, you were comparing your lives with people's pictures on social media?

That is madness at its peak!

In summary, maybe you and the guy deserve each other cos your level of thinking is way too low.

I'm only sorry for the kids who will have you and the other guy as parents, life is already leading them 5-0 as it stands.

Is there hope? Maybe.

It depends on whether you and your partner are willing to put in the work.

I wish you both the best anyhow.

you see this issue mostly with those so called christians. church hide all this problem. you are told to forgive and forget when infact a real problem is still growing behind the scenes. they will never tell you it takes 2 to tango !!

r

Reminderz:
he might have been facing a lot of pressure of getting cash, you know how the economy is now... he might be frustrated, this is why he resorted to gambling, but unfortunately, it's like going from frying pan to fire... gambling will crush him totally, he should take up available work for now while aiming bigger, not just sitting idle doing nothing hoping for a bigger contract, he must get working... but trust, no man will ever feel happy not being able to provide for his family, you might never know what he's going through or planning secretly... life is not even easy for the singles let alone the married ones, so please cut him some slack... talk to him, and you guys can discuss how money can be made, and I hope he really listens.. but one quick question, was there any red flags you noticed when you were dating?

and secondly, life is not a bed of roses, you have to get off the fantasy of happily ever after, there's nothing like that... there will be challenges you'll face in life... you just have to fight through it... yes, you might love him, but love is not what hold marriages, it's commitment... even the couples you admire online, have their own worst stages which they will never talk about but since they keep feeding you guys with fantasies, y'll believe that's what marriage is all about... if you base your marriage only on love, it will fail..

thirdly, why re you comparing your situation with others? do you know the kind of environment and connections they have? do you know if they had help? do you know what they did to get to where they are? why are you putting unnecessary pressure unto yourself because you wanna impress? see ehn, there's so much pains and struggles people hide from the world, we only share the good part of it on media, this is why social media is a place of lies, where hypocrites relate with each other... face your own struggles, be your own competition...

you married as a virgin as you should, but life doesn't end there... someone can be good but still experience some bad things, that's life for you... there are some circumstances that will be beyond your control, and you just have to live through it, this is a phase everyone will pass through whether you're good or bad... the only thing is that, your experiences shouldn't make you stumble but makes you stronger...

most sensible point. it's not fair if the woman is doing all the work. a woman that's late in this situation then, eventually divorced the husband or so, since it resulted in quarrels and violence. very hardworking woman and the children didn't seem to appreciate her by the time she passed.

XXCASH:
First of all, the assumption that you married a perfect man was wrong. Nobody is perfect and you didnt see his flaws. Its a lesson so take it as such

Secondly, as long as he is not violent. You must continue to appeal to his sense of reasoning so he can change. Try a little more, dont give up yet.

Finally, you must note that no marriage is perfect. I have been married for close to 20yrs I can tell you that from experience. Do all you can to find a solution before giving it a quit. Unless you have a violent home, raising kids alone is definitely a no no

I must add this, dont be jealous by those you see. There is no way your sacrifices wont pay off. Just your ideals growing up that kept you without flirting could have a positive impact on your kids
Success in marriage is not how large you live but what you make out the kids you have.

he associated with the wrong person.

when you are close to their crime target, and substance was in the property, they tag you along.

Blessing Okagbare who was banned for 11 years for use of prohibited substance:
career over for her

Abagworo:
I believe he's a victim of set up.

WIKE for president

and you have one AGF wey steal more than this

our pastors are always the worst. they usually don't understand what they preach