₦airaland Forum

Don't Fart in Bed

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for
years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.

The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop
and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a
doctor. She was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.

The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.

She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled
back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and
the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.

The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor
laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his
bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face.

She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me
and I didn't listen to you.

"What do you mean?" asked his wife.

"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in.

I know this naija guy here kiss very very well! I know it cause when he kisses, it turns me on so there! Not all Naija Men are bad in French Kissing.

And mind you, some french guys are bad in kissing yet they call it french kissing so I think it all depends on individuals

I call my boyfriend
1) Handsome
2) By his name
3) Babe
4) Old Man / Grandpa
5) Cheeky Bugger
6) Kid
7) Honey Bunch
8 ) Hunk

He calls me
1) Gabry (My name)
2) Baby
3) Teddy Bear
4) Mom
5) Mam / Madam
6) Queen / African Queen
7) Angel
8 ) My Only / Only

French Kissing Naija Men not good at it

"coughs out loud"

You gotta be kidding me. . . .

I think its the ones you've met are the ones which cannot kiss so far here, no problem at all.

Thanks guys for your feedback. Well, of course he does not just call me mom. He calls me Baby, Gabry Baby, Angel, My Queen, African Queen, Mam as in Madam, Teddy Bear, Stubby as in Stubborn and etc etc etc. But I think the most is mom espeacially when I gave him an advise or telling him to do something. Guess maybe he is just teasing me I guess but I'm sure when he uses that word, I wil surely call him Grandpa or Old Man.

alright gabrywyl. mke u take am easy o. this life na small village o.

this one wey u say i know say u dey innocent fear me o. i no sure say i know u o


well sa freeworld! nothing do u ma girl.

Uhm. . . . Eh

King,
Me fight? Oh No No nonono. . . . I'm innocent you know?

Thanks dre.

NA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

you go JARE!

Ok, ending here. Bye. See ya next week

what thing

ITS WHAT

I dont understand Bobo,

Mishooo,
If you are here, I'll do da real thang! But since you are safe there, its an E Smack. Ok Bobo?   Dear God. . . this Naija language is soooo cute. . .    

Dre,
EWWW. . . What the Hell. . . THAT IS HUGE AND DISGUSTING. . .

Mishooo,
Dont make me smack your head. Bobo!

Acid,
My internet is really bad so I have to lay off for awhile.

Guys and gals,
I wont be able to go online here untill next Monday so I'll have alot of catching up to do when I get back.

But I will miss you cheeky bugger for sure. Take care.

Ok Acid, Oyato, Krama, Mishooo, Dre,

I'm outta here. Internet connections is low today. Very hard to reply oo. . .

Acid, Tell me if you managed to convinced the 2 dudes to post their Pics here.

Oyato, you're a bad boy today.

Krama, Please dont call your girl a kind of bird. Its not nice.

Mishooo, Why you hopping in one thread and another? You make me confuse at times.

Dre, Keep it going with the nice pictures. . . Although, I am not keen with the first picture. thats scary.

Bye Bobo / kokolet / Mamlet / Baby / Pigin / Sisi / Girl . . . . Whichever is correct is the ones.

Oh MY God dre, . . I hope that picture is just a post and not for real. . . HAHAH!

But you said Pigin just now? NA WAAA OHHH,

you call your girl baby? Ok Bobo

Dre,
The 2nd picture is cute.

MISHOOOOO,
WADDUP?!?

He's been calling me 'BABY' for a very long time. . . and I hate it because thats what my father calls me. I ask him why he kept calling me that and he says he likes it thats all. So if in Nigeria, baby means Girl and he did not tell me that instead, I would ask him why dont he just say that baby means girl?

Anyways, now he calls me Ma, Mom and I call him Grandpa or Hunk or Munchkins or Old Man

Krama,
Now why would you call a girl a kind of BIRD

Now I dont know who to trust. You guys a re playin with me huh

If its true Baby for a girl, I'm gonna smack my boyfriend's head tonight!!!  

Acid,
You bad Bad Girl!  

Oyato,
What? You have like an online dictionary? I dont mind if you want to email me a copy.

HA!!! You're playing around with me eh?

Ok, so what do you call a girl?

Why not? Or is it a bad word?

You said Kokoletz is Girl right?

Ok Kokoletz Thanks.

Thanks Acid.

Hey if Bobo is for boys than what you call a girl? Momo?

thanks. you're a great teacher.