₦airaland Forum

josite:
marriage is enjoyable if you are prepare for the worst.list your expectations and ask your proposed wife to list her expectations from the marriage.both of you should state the events that will make you walk away from the marriage.if you both start out as a christian couple.you may wish to let her know her first visit to native doctor will be the end of the marriage for you or a confirmed fact that she had sex with another man will be the end.both of you should state the expectations u can meet now,later or will never be met.call your parents and siblings to witness what both of you are agreed upon.let it be known eg since she brings no child to your house,any child born in your house during the marriage ,she cannot take away from your house.

dont underplay what you presently see or hear about your spouse.believe me some people dont know how to say sorry if they are wrong and some women will have sex with other men to get money when they are broke and some men must Bleep another woman and some humans are irredeemable liars.lying is second nature to them.find out if your spouse is pro prostitution.if she is .don't ever expect a happy marriage. above all pray diligently.you will not be able to stop people from changing into another person and therefore if you dont want to die prematurely accept marriage is not padlock and the law of man and GOD allows you to walk away if your spouse is ruining your health and your life.

the greatest gift i can give u is to hear your wife to be speaks when she is not even aware you are hearing and to see her doing things when she doesnt know you are watching.use spy technology before and not after the marriage is contracted,.

The chances of your expectations matching is slim to none.

Secondly, there are expectations both of you will hide from each other.

Bosdem:
Wish I never married, the joy I get comes from my kids, marriage ma scam, after 11 years found out my husband has a 17 years old child, and that's the least of the matter, marriage can be liken to a gift, its full of surprises, some are great, some are bad news.

Real life.

humilitypays:
as a guy. The only thing you will be feeling is; once you get married, you will start seeing prettier, hotter, classier ladies everywhere you go, making you feel like you acted too fast.


You will even feel like having more ladies because you will be finding it difficult to believe you have been tied to one lady for life no matter how she changes physically and start to look unattractive and all that.


That's why you must cool down and marry a virtuous lady with good character who also helps you grow financially, materially and spiritually so that when the time comes and she starts changing physically and stop looking hot like the single ladies you will be seeing everyday, you will have something to hold on to and find solace in that.



If you marry a lady whose only value or contribution or qualities is physical beauty, you will definitely regret after some years because after childbirth her body will change so bad.....no matter the surgeries and enhancements, she won't look as attractive and sexually appealing like when single. Big tummy, pussy wide, weakened skin and more will make you feel you should have married another lady but all na the same

The reason for the bolded is:

1. She will get older.
2. She will stop advertising and packaging when she has finally tied/trapped one down.
3. She will lose some looks as she procreates.
4. Many young girls are growing up to replace the older ones and the more youthful ones are finer.

nwaezeemmanuel:
You're not the first of Nairalanders that package bullshit under the guise of facts.

Saying something is a fact doesn't make it one.

Well, if you are not full of bullshit, disprove it.

That is how smart people operate, they don't just say something is BS and run away.

I know most Nigerians are like that. That is just the outcome of producing people that 75% fail UTME. Our education system is bad and has not taught critical thinking.

GEJPosterity:
Above all else, make sure to marry your friend. As in someone who genuinely enjoys the fact that you exist on this planet. Not merely someone who is enamoured with you, or someone who is in love with you, but someone who actually likes you. Someone who even if you weren't romantically linked would enjoy spending their time with you because they find your company pleasant. Someone who likes you, not what you are, how you look, or how you make them feel. Someone who likes you. If you find such a person, never let them go. Ignore whether the sex is great or not, or what kinks and flaws they have. If you marry your friend, half of your future life problems have been solved.

Telling you this from bitter experience.

Sorry, I don't f**k my friends.

Yes, it is good for me to have good rapport with my partner/wife, but what is more important is for me to be highly attracted to her.

Attraction is the number one consideration before we start looking at other consideration.

Sexless marriage is a miserable marriage. No matter how friendly una dey.

lekki1444:
GOING BY YOUR 12 POINTS OF SHAKY FOUNDATION NOT A SINGLE HUMAN IN THE WORLD IS ON SOLID FOUNDATION IN THEIR MARRIAGE

Very well said.

Oluwaseun2020:
why dont you people want to learn from things that are working..
why not learn from oyedepo and adeboye weeding..why is it not crasing..??are they from the moon??
if you marry for beauty..not a godly girl...
you marry from club..party...you dont even know her well before marriage. ..just cuz money pushed you..

well my advice. ..get this book
making your marriage work by faith oyedepo. .learn what strong marriage. .how they are doing it

Do you know how many congregation females/males or olosho/ashawo that Oyedepo or Adeboye bangs behind their wives' backs?

You think milking the congregation for private jets will be their only scams?

nwaezeemmanuel:
I sincerely hope nobody takes whatever you type here seriously. Have a great day

Oga, you no like facts!

adonni:
Some have already worked on themselves before marraige, Some before and during, Others just started when married.

Marraige is like Gold ore, Both of you have to pass through the fire to be refined and Shine

Abeg stop repeating the nonsense your pastor said in church to promote marriage.

kapelvej:
wrong. marriage is to be enjoyed not endured. Compatibility and value system is all that is needed to avoid all these talk of endurance. Love is even overrated

Majority of the "successful" or "blissful" marriages is about endurance, compromise and sacrifice.

Not happiness.

Now imagine the majority of marriages that fail and what they are like.

wisdomeze:
You no know wetin life de talk sha.. U still de chop mummy thank u. I know ur type.

If marriage is what you feel makes you a man, you are not a sensible man.

nwaezeemmanuel:
You're one of those very 'factual' people that will confuse themselves with either too much logic or anything that fuels their ego.

I hope you know the difference between something that works and something that people do not allow to work.

There are blissful marriages. You cant cancel that because some people get divorced. Think!

I know the difference between something that works and something that does not work.

Anything that people do not allow to work falls under the category of "something that does not work".

Anything that mostly fail and is below success expectation rates falls under the category of "something that does not work".

E.g. NEPA is supposed to give us 24 hours light 365 days a year but is only giving us 6 hours of light a day (even if it gives 5% of Nigerians 24 hours a day) means NEPA does not work, it is a failed arrangement.

Marriage does not work, it is a failed arrangement. Even if you can find some "blissful" marriage.

Oludara202:
I remember my boss used to tell me back then that his wife would get him so annoyed and irritated but he’d just get to tolerate and overlook some of her shortcomings . May not have anything to do with infidelity anyway. A good number of years has gone and am right in that position. Those words he dished out now serve as an encouragement.

Always remember that wife is a gift from God, try to make yourself a better man and GOD will do the rest. You already know that there is no perfect person, not even you.

Suffering and happy.

brainpowerng:
I believe I'm eligible to offer you my one cent on the above-mentioned topic.

I've been married for more than 10 years to a woman I love always. I can tell you a lot about women because I have a grandmother, a mother, a sister, a wife and even a daughter. They are uniquely created by God in a special way.

You see, a lot of people will always get it wrong when it comes to marriage because they entered into it without a purpose. They got married just to get a license to fornicate! But I tell you this, a time is coming in your marriage when sex will stink to you, your spouse will beg for it and you won't have any urge at all. But what keeps the marriage going? Purpose!

I got married to my wife because she perfectly complements my inadequacies as I am to her her. I saw that we could work/walk together to attain my purpose/set goals in life and Walla! we're married.

Has my marriage been the bed of roses? Far from it! I've once felt like running away before, yes you read me right!

Every marriage is a work in progress, your abilities would be tested, it's a journey and not destination in itself. Do you want me to shock you? There are some levels of attainment in life that would be impossible without a woman pushing you.

Above all, build yourself an impeccable character, know what you want and pursue it for without a purpose, abuse is inevitable.

I could write for all eternity on my experience in a 10-year old marriage, but let me rest here.

Now this is an example of the promoters of marriage.

This is a man who is probably in his 30s or early 40s but yet is no more getting regular sex but yet is seeing attractive women and young girls all around him that he knows he wants to sleep but he has to "respect himself".

He is not getting sex regularly now and that phenomena will only deteriorate over the rest of his life. That is another hopeless 25 to 50 years of hardly any sex. This is not a happily married man but he would claim he is.

A normal man needs regular mind blowing sex with a woman that he finds extremely attractive at least twice a month even at his trough (except impotence catches up with him). Talk less of at his peak.

Originakalokalo:
I have never regretted marrying my wife. Five years and counting.

Marry God's son or daughter and you will be alright.

Note that I didn't say you should marry a christian.....The word Christian is for everyone who goes to church.....both prostitute and armed robbers.

You cannot marry God's son or daughter if you don't belong to him.

Everyone wants to marry a God fearing person....

But they don't fear God themselves.

This is one of those that are merely satisfying their God's needs, not their own need.

Once I hear this type, I never believe they have a happy marriage. They are just happy at the thought of their God being happy with them.

Hathor5:
The percentage is irrelevant to a person who believes that family is everything and wants to start one.

No matter what you say here, if you could have a happy marriage and family, you would.

No, darling.

Marriage will not work for me based on your own interpretation of "happy marriage".

I am a MAN. I have needs and urges.

If I can find a very attractive woman, who can maintain her attractiveness over the years and still not raise a fuss about me sleeping with other women when I want to, then I would have a "happy marriage".

I know that is unlikely to happen in this lifetime, so marriage is not for me.

I know that is the dream set-up for most men (they should not deceive themselves), so I know majority of those that attempt your approach to "happy marriage" will fail or end up being miserable.

nwaezeemmanuel:
Hey man! I won't waste my time. Your comments on this thread show your stance on marriage boldly.

I will only tell you it still works and if you think it is a doomed arrangement, that's on you! Just don't mislead people

How can you say something that mostly fails "works"?

That is like saying Nigerian education system works when 75% of candidates fail to get 50% in UTME.

That is a ridiculous statement! Face facts and accept facts.

Uyi168:
.
Oga, with all due respect, go and sit down.

You dey fear sense?

When you know reason before you talk before.

reidkrugger:
There's no difference between marriage and courtship. Na oversense and overconfidence de kill d latter. If you r humble, truthful, wise and tolerant, you can marry. Marriage is simple, it's d participants dat makes it hard. Get married when your time comes, for there is no real joy in becoming a baby anything.

Continue talking nonsense.

You will know the difference when a court gets involved in one.

zubimete:
YOU LIED. WOMEN ARE THE MOST FAITHFUL IN MARRIAGE. MARRIAGE IS FOR SERIOUS & RESPONSIBLE BEING.

Nonsense promotion of marriage.

nwaezeemmanuel:
The bold paragraph is one reason why i automatically disregard whatever you type and send on this topic.

So explain to me how marriage will work.

Uyi168:
.
Source of this stats pls

Why don't you go and find stats of the percentage of marriages that end in divorce.

Then add it to the percentage that end in separation but no divorce.

Then add it to the percentage you know that one partner is not happy e.g. na punching bag, the other partner has many lovers etc.

Then find statistics of what proportion of married men are using prostitutes (some whom then head to pulpits on Sundays to give sermons about how good marriage is)

Then find the stats on what proportion of married men are raising kids they think is theirs.

Then come back and tell me what percentage of marriages are "happy and strong".

wisdomeze:
Please and please, don't listen to these little children who have all come bellow u to write "marriage is a scam" most of them are not even up-to their mid-twenties.

I got married at age twenty eight and today I am 33 and still strong in my marriage. If to say ur mama and Papa fear, by now u for no exist. Be a man by taking decisions ursef, u don't need anybody's opinion about this institution called marriage. We learn everyday. I never ready, I never ready naim make some people wey de 60years get children of 1year, 3years and 7years. Which strength dem wan use train the children? Most of them go begin take Viagra to satisfy their young wives sef.

My brother, until u take that bold step, u re not yet a man....

What a foolish contribution.

nwaezeemmanuel:
If you think this bullshit point will help marriages, you're either delusional or compulsively ignorant

Stop being foolish.

What I said was that it will help men in marriage. Women it might not help them.

My point at the end is that marriage is a doomed arrangement.

Next comprehend what you read.

Kuns84:
Oh dear. it ain't my fault you suffer from inferiority complex thus placing white folks on a pedestal.

I, on the other hand, don't.

Goodbye.

No, you are just a foool not to know they are cleaner than your daft ass.

That is not putting them on a pedestal. That is stating facts while an idiot who has never left Nigeria comes online to vomit nonsense and think it is fact.

Dem bathrooms fit buy you, why dem no go dey use am?

Berankis:
1. Dont you regret being alive sometimes? But it doesnt mean you want to die.
2. Dont you regret being a Nigerian a lot of times? But it doesnt necessarily mean you want to stop being a Nigerian, so same too is marriage. Sometimes, you regret and some other times you feel it is the best thing that has happened to you.
You just have to understand that being married doesnt necessarily mean you have full control of your wife, her parents still have a great influence over her and must respect it and vice versa. She also has some level of freedom too and you must accord it.
Things dont always go as planned or as expected, just take life as it comes and try to make the best out of every situation.

This is a stupid analogy.

There is no option not to be alive or not to be a Nigerian from the start.

There is an option not to marry from the start.

Missssii:
1. Marry a good hearted person.
2. Be a good husband. Don’t do to her what you wouldn’t want her to do to you.
3. Have some savings that can sufficiently take care of a family. Financial issues can ruin the best of people.
4. Do not have children for at least, the first year of marriage. Use that time to understand your partner and form a bond.
5. Do not have relatives or friends live with you for the first year of marriage. Visits shouldn’t be more than 3 days. Nosy family and friends are the number one cause of issues in young marriages.
6. Let God lead in all you do. As the head of the home, it is important you have a direct bond with God because even the Bible says the husband is the head of the home and the blessings flow from the husband to the wife. That’s why he opens his head in prayers while she covers her own. If the head is weak, the body is open to all sorts of attacks.
7. Do not start things you cannot finish. If you’re the type that doesn’t believe in cooking or cleaning, let her know during courtship so you both can plan your responsibilities. You cannot be Tony Umez in courtship then turn into Pete Edochie during marriage. It is a sure way to kill whatever love may exist between the two of you.
8. Avoid unnecessary interference from family, friends and most especially, religious people. Do what works for you both no matter how unconventional it may seem to others.
9. Be patient and honest but do not enable misbehavior in any form. In a calm and firm manner, let your partner know what they did to offend you and sort out all issues to avoid any form of lingering resentment.
10. Enjoy yourselves. Go on dates, knack in the sitting room, kitchen etc. You both are now one before God and should explore your bodies and minds to the fullest.

That’s all I know.

Your list is weak as it missed out one of the most important requirements:

1. Marry a woman who supports polygamy or will allow you sleep with any other females you find attractive as long as you don't leave her for that female.

Let more women be like that and you will see how much the rate of failed marriages will fall and men will live a more fulfilled life while being married.

Now will most women allow that? NO!

So we all see why majority of marriages are inevitably doomed?

Kuns84:
I keep seeing childish kids like you making comments about 'alpha' males.

This is popular shaming tactic used to quench the effects of the redpill philosophy which is spreading like wildfire...

Comments like yours makes it obvious that women are starting to panic #justsaying

The reality is that more men losing interest in marriage is like 'bad news' for a majority of females.

That will reduce their already small and diminishing pool of eligible men. So, of course, some will panic and express it in different ways or by promoting marriage at all illogical cost.

KossyKiss97:
Whatever rocks your boat

It is not about rocking my boat. It is about facing reality and stop engaging is wishful thinking and self-deceit.

This is the kind of self-deceit people propagate and others believe that lead to so much unhappiness in life.

Image123:
Lol, it can happen. Marriage is honorable and should be worked on and preserved. Regret can be temporary if you make it so. There are people who regretted joining an organization or a school or a course but it later turned out well because they didn't quit or there was no option. Some people even regretted being pregnant or getting pregnant but it's not so when that child succeeds and is making waves 30years later. Don't remain a boy.

What a foolish, low thinking contribution.

Uyi168:
..
Says u

Says statistics to sensible people who talk facts!

Kuns84:
Did you know white people generally take a bath or shower only once or twice a week?
Forget how pale their skin looks, they are dirty asf.

This is the moronic nonsense you heard where and decided it was a "fact"?

Your daft ass lives in environments where open gutters is normal and everywhere stinks but you are calling civilised and superior people who live in lovely environments "dirty"?

The people doing you with juju that is affecting your brain are wicked!