onlinestaff2020:
Hello Nairalanders,

This post is actually coming at the right time. Marriage has really been a pain in the ass for me.

My madam has been giving me headache for more than 13 years and even up till now.

Can you believe that because of my work and cost of transport which I spend close to N1500, I have decided to stay at my working place for sometime and go back home during the weekends.

Last week when I was around, my wife has been brooding and she told me nothing is the matter with her after I tried to prompt her.

Fast forward to today, after some days, she called me and started calling me names that I have not changed that I have a wife and daughter outside. This is totally unfounded.

Me that have not slept and have been sleeping in the ICT room on bare floor, just because of transport matter, is being accused wrongly.

I felt seriously bad.

Marriage is indeed a scam.

It's better to remain single, have a child/children from

wow

Tilykay:


You spoke with so much wisdom. God increase you and bless you more.

Bless you too bros!

GEJPosterity:

Above all else, make sure to marry your friend. As in someone who genuinely enjoys the fact that you exist on this planet. Not merely someone who is enamoured with you, or someone who is in love with you, but someone who actually likes you. Someone who even if you weren't romantically linked would enjoy spending their time with you because they find your company pleasant. Someone who likes you, not what you are, how you look, or how you make them feel. Someone who likes you. If you find such a person, never let them go. Ignore whether the sex is great or not, or what kinks and flaws they have. If you marry your friend, half of your future life problems have been solved.

Telling you this from bitter experience.

Sorry, I don't f**k my friends.

Yes, it is good for me to have good rapport with my partner/wife, but what is more important is for me to be highly attracted to her.

Attraction is the number one consideration before we start looking at other consideration.

Sexless marriage is a miserable marriage. No matter how friendly una dey.

You're not the first of Nairalanders that package bullshit under the guise of facts.

Saying something is a fact doesn't make it one.

Gamesmart:


Oga, you no like facts!

Oluwaseun2020, you are still a baby Biblelically. Go carry out a wider and extensive research on God, Jesus, the Bible and Christianity, then we 'll talk.

nwaezeemmanuel:
You're not the first of Nairalanders that package bullshit under the guise of facts.

Saying something is a fact doesn't make it one.

Well, if you are not full of bullshit, disprove it.

That is how smart people operate, they don't just say something is BS and run away.

I know most Nigerians are like that. That is just the outcome of producing people that 75% fail UTME. Our education system is bad and has not taught critical thinking.

humilitypays:
as a guy. The only thing you will be feeling is; once you get married, you will start seeing prettier, hotter, classier ladies everywhere you go, making you feel like you acted too fast.


You will even feel like having more ladies because you will be finding it difficult to believe you have been tied to one lady for life no matter how she changes physically and start to look unattractive and all that.


That's why you must cool down and marry a virtuous lady with good character who also helps you grow financially, materially and spiritually so that when the time comes and she starts changing physically and stop looking hot like the single ladies you will be seeing everyday, you will have something to hold on to and find solace in that.



If you marry a lady whose only value or contribution or qualities is physical beauty, you will definitely regret after some years because after childbirth her body will change so bad.....no matter the surgeries and enhancements, she won't look as attractive and sexually appealing like when single. Big tummy, pussy wide, weakened skin and more will make you feel you should have married another lady but all na the same

The reason for the bolded is:

1. She will get older.
2. She will stop advertising and packaging when she has finally tied/trapped one down.
3. She will lose some looks as she procreates.
4. Many young girls are growing up to replace the older ones and the more youthful ones are finer.

Bosdem:
Wish I never married, the joy I get comes from my kids, marriage ma scam, after 11 years found out my husband has a 17 years old child, and that's the least of the matter, marriage can be liken to a gift, its full of surprises, some are great, some are bad news.

Real life.

the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) said, “The woman was created from a (crooked) rib, and she will never continue to be as you desire her to be (i.e. always obedient). If you enjoy her, you will do so while she still has that crookedness. If you try to straighten it, you will break her, and breaking her means divorcing her.”

josite:


marriage is enjoyable if you are prepare for the worst.list your expectations and ask your proposed wife to list her expectations from the marriage.both of you should state the events that will make you walk away from the marriage.if you both start out as a christian couple.you may wish to let her know her first visit to native doctor will be the end of the marriage for you or a confirmed fact that she had sex with another man will be the end.both of you should state the expectations u can meet now,later or will never be met.call your parents and siblings to witness what both of you are agreed upon.let it be known eg since she brings no child to your house,any child born in your house during the marriage ,she cannot take away from your house.

dont underplay what you presently see or hear about your spouse.believe me some people dont know how to say sorry if they are wrong and some women will have sex with other men to get money when they are broke and some men must Bleep another woman and some humans are irredeemable liars.lying is second nature to them.find out if your spouse is pro prostitution.if she is .don't ever expect a happy marriage. above all pray diligently.you will not be able to stop people from changing into another person and therefore if you dont want to die prematurely accept marriage is not padlock and the law of man and GOD allows you to walk away if your spouse is ruining your health and your life.

the greatest gift i can give u is to hear your wife to be speaks when she is not even aware you are hearing and to see her doing things when she doesnt know you are watching.use spy technology before and not after the marriage is contracted,.

The chances of your expectations matching is slim to none.

Secondly, there are expectations both of you will hide from each other.

Gamesmart:


Do you know how many congregation females/males or olosho/ashawo that Oyedepo or Adeboye bangs behind their wives' backs?

You think milking the congregation for private jets will be their only scams?

Name one and i will believe you

Exmilitant:
Oluwaseun2020, you are still a baby Biblelically. Go carry out a wider and extensive research on God, Jesus, the Bible and Christianity, then we 'll talk.

Moses the second. .i salute you

Yes








I regret marrying my wife in 2014






I should have done it in 2012, that extra 2 years between 2012 and 2014 is exactly what I regret because I denied myself and my wife those 2 years of extra joy.







But if you're asking if I ever regret being with her that one na NO

Oluwaseun2020:

Name one and i will believe you

My point is: Don't ever vouch for something you cannot monitor.

That is just blind followership.

emkz:


For a potential spouse, look at compatibility, companionship, communication, character and charisma. Exude these qualities yourself and you shall find it in your potential partner.

you don finish work here.

BigDawsNet:
My people dint regret

So I won't too

Tho I'm about settling with a white lady

that your white lady, does she have single friends?

incogni2o:


You are very wrong, Not all marraiges in this generation fail.

I am married and marraige is not a failed institution.

Marraige is more of working on yourself to accomodate the weakness of the other while pushing to make the person His of Her better self.

The happiness of a marraige boils down to how much you and the other person have worked on yourselves.

Some have already worked on themselves before marraige, Some before and during, Others just started when married.

Marraige is like Gold ore, Both of you have to pass through the fire to be refined and Shine

The bolded is the summary or conclusion of the whole marriage issue.

How much each person works on him or her self. The better, the marriage will be enjoyed.

But the problem is many people don't work on themselves
So the marriage turns to something else

Gamesmart:


Nonsense promotion of marriage.

Relax, cool ur temper guy. when u meet the right person u will fall in love age is nt a barrier.

blinking001:
Most married men feel deep regrets after getting married. It's an Esoteric truth actually. Most women are full of shit.

Like your mother abi.

pocohantas:
It is funny when some NL guys claim marriage doesn’t benefit men, yet they won’t stop shaming single ladies with “go and marry”.

One would think they’ll love single ladies and encourage them, but the reverse is the case. I honestly don’t know how that works.

If your parents and the people around you are having troubled marriages- that is on them. After all, marriage is the coming together of 2 (maybe more) people. It is what you put into it, that it gives you back. GIGO...

This maynt always be the case. Even when u put in goodness, u just get deep pain in return.

A happy marriage is for the fortunate, while the unhappy marriage is for the unfortunate.
It's that simple.

In most cases it's the perfect time for either partner to have a taste of their own medicine.

What is beautiful is that, I am sure, you wld get a happy marriage cos you seem fortunate.

wisdomeze:



This talk no just follow abeg. Ur generation will just die like a candle in the wind if u decide to remain single all ur life. If u are a religious person that means u don't fear God. Anyday u old die na me go bury u?
Think am!

na compulsory say every man must make use of him sperm. Leave that talk. You know how many sperm de enter toilet on daily. How many men de die on daily, how many families de kpai at a scene.

I'm not religious person but Bible no make marriage compulsory. They are alot of things to achieve in life marriage.

Jaqenhghar:

Like your mother abi.

Smh

Gamesmart:


If marriage is what you feel makes you a man, you are not a sensible man.

Na ur type go soon de of the assertion say "life na scam". Never did I mention that marriage makes one a man but the ability to take a giant stride. If u continue like this, u myt go into extinction sooner. U have proven to be irresponsible. Sensibility lies in responsibility.

brainpowerng:
I believe I'm eligible to offer you my one cent on the above-mentioned topic.

I've been married for more than 10 years to a woman I love always. I can tell you a lot about women because I have a grandmother, a mother, a sister, a wife and even a daughter. They are uniquely created by God in a special way.

You see, a lot of people will always get it wrong when it comes to marriage because they entered into it without a purpose. They got married just to get a license to fornicate! But I tell you this, a time is coming in your marriage when sex will stink to you, your spouse will beg for it and you won't have any urge at all. But what keeps the marriage going? Purpose!

I got married to my wife because she perfectly complements my inadequacies as I am to her her. I saw that we could work/walk together to attain my purpose/set goals in life and Walla! we're married.

Has my marriage been the bed of roses? Far from it! I've once felt like running away before, yes you read me right!

Every marriage is a work in progress, your abilities would be tested, it's a journey and not destination in itself. Do you want me to shock you? There are some levels of attainment in life that would be impossible without a woman pushing you.

Above all, build yourself an impeccable character, know what you want and pursue it for without a purpose, abuse is inevitable.

I could write for all eternity on my experience in a 10-year old marriage, but let me rest here.

Forget all this mental sophisms Brother, you are simple fortunate. There are men who have done better and more than all these things you talked about and still suffer a tragically failed marriage due to irreconcilable differences..
What wld you offer as explanation to that?

Marriage is 95% spiritual.. and you are likely very fortune to be in a relatively happy one.

So many people are here voicing rubbish!! Who are we to blame for the bad marriages being talked about?? Parents train your children in the way of the lord so when they are old they won't depart from it!!! How many women still groom their girls to be respectful and a prospective wife material?? How many women still teach their girl child to dress and cover up properly as a woman? How many men teach their sons how good to treat and respect women and see them as humans instead of sex objects?? How many men teach their sons to stand up and protect women and treat them like princesses starting with their sisters? How many women still teach their female children in this age to preserve their body till they get married?? HOW MANY RESPONSIBLE AND REASONABLE PARENTS ARE OUT THERE SEF?? We live in a world where mothers are encouraging their girl child in the slay queen trend and go after material things instead of instilling core values and virtues into them. We live in a world where fathers Take pride in their sons having girlfriends and start smashing pussy at a very young age, instead of teaching them the realities of life, teach them to be hardworking and to see women as people to be loved, respected and defended!! A child that grows up in a family where he can see display of love is visible between his parents, how his father cherishes and take care of his wife and how his mother respect and adores her husband as the head of the house, will definitely desire to get married and be like them one day. But what do we have today?? You see parents taking their children to the club, even giving their children shisha to smoke just for social media frenzy... Mothers today are sexualizing their girl child, dressing them up as prostitutes in the name of western fashion!!! Bleaching their skin, fixing Brazilian or Peruvian hair on them, applying makeup on girls who are not even up to 10yrs old, introducing them to social media at an age where they should be learning about the values of life. How can such girl grow up to become reasonable and responsible with that kind of mother?? If parent trained their children well, all this problems would be very minimal..

zubimete:
Relax, cool ur temper guy. when u meet the right person u will fall in love age is nt a barrier.

So the millions that end up divorced did not fall in love?

Continue prophesying fantasy.

wisdomeze:


Na ur type go soon de of the assertion say "life na scam". Never did I mention that marriage makes one a man but the ability to take a giant stride. If u continue like this, u myt go into extinction sooner. U have proven to be irresponsible. Sensibility lies in responsibility.

Stop talking nonsense.

This is what you said:

wisdomeze:
Please and please, don't listen to these little children who have all come bellow u to write "marriage is a scam" most of them are not even up-to their mid-twenties.

I got married at age twenty eight and today I am 33 and still strong in my marriage. If to say ur mama and Papa fear, by now u for no exist. Be a man by taking decisions ursef, u don't need anybody's opinion about this institution called marriage. We learn everyday. I never ready, I never ready naim make some people wey de 60years get children of 1year, 3years and 7years. Which strength dem wan use train the children? Most of them go begin take Viagra to satisfy their young wives sef.

My brother, until u take that bold step, u re not yet a man....

Pat081:
hmmmmmmm and no late comer bros

Not at all.

AuntRose:

You can't handle being cheated on? So you completely rule out the possibility of you cheating on your wife. You won't be taken serious one bit if this stereotype you have towards women persists. Change it first.


You're saying trash... Why the hatred towards women by NL guys? It's so annoying and disgusting

He said the honest truth. Most women are trash.

My neighbor told me one day,that he regretted marrying that woman...That she drinks and displays more than even him that is a man and he's regretting everything.

Life on its own is full of regrets. Regrets stems from unconsciousness.

No one can comprehend the interplay of forces that rule our lives.
We assume we are so much in control,but we ain't. These are the forces that places us in other people's lives and, we seem to fall in love and marry. These forces can yield good outcomes for the fortunate and bad outcomes for the unfortunate.
These forces act beyond our seeming intelligence, beautiful wishes, educational background, intellectual prowess etc..

@ OP, you can only pray, wish and work towards getting a happy union with a good partner but if you don't get it, then you and all who find themselves unfortunate must learn to carry their cross.

If the unfortunate are done serving their punishment, and become fortunate afterwards, they can get some mercy from the Gods and find happiness in marrying another spouse.

Gamesmart:


This is one of those that are merely satisfying their God's needs, not their own need.

Once I hear this type, I never believe they have a happy marriage. They are just happy at the thought of their God being happy with them.

*smiles

I married a daughter of God. I am his son myself.

We enjoy our marriage in a very wonderful way.

We have fun...we disagree, we pray together.... but in all, we allow the Holy Spirit to be the head.

He instructs us on what to do....he guides us on what to do.....and we do it.

Our marriage is heaven on earth because Jesus is the centre of it and WE LISTEN TO HIM.