₦airaland Forum

Next PM should be 5261

@ Post in the spirit of brotherliness, 5217 and 5257 are not PMs.

Okay Tope, i never know it was a mistake. Sorry i was harsh on you only i tot u did it intentionally cos of ur other ridiculous posts round the forum. All the same, sorry for the harsh words.

And i repeat; who are the "WE"?

Tina

Jackal:
burn

tope_teadr:
Burn.

@ topic, Boy

E jowo e ma binu si Tope, ki se oun na. Infact emi gan ti n binu si tele sugbon o dabi pe ori e ti wale bayi. Nitori idi eyi, e bami dari ji ko ni se radarada mo.
E se pupo.

And who are the "we"?

tope_teadr:
I guess i'm going along now.

Dat wil be highly appreciated.

brownsilk:
what exactly are u talkin about

Who are u talking to?

Viceve

Fun

Tope, u better go for a brain check. U might be suffering from a brain disorder.

@ tOPE, CAN'T U JUST MAKE GUD USE OF UR SENSE AND TIME AT LEAST FOR ONCE.
IF YOU CAN'T CONTRIBUTE MEANINGFULLY, WHY CAN'T U JUST KEEP OFF? OR DO U THINK DAT SEUN HAS ANY PRIZE FOR HIGHEST POST? U HAD BETTER CONFIRM DAT VERY WELL B4 COUNTING ON IT.

brownsilk:
_{i wonder y thats the only word some people seem to think about all the time}

V

Vi

Just wondering why Amigoz and Chiegemba and also phenomena (the creator of the thread) had to fled from this thread.

@ topic,
5119
5147
5153
5167
5171
5179
5189
5197

Malta Guinness

Does she look like someone with a home to you?

box office

@ Tope, tell us the prob, we might be able 2 help u.

A woman was having her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind her were 200 women walking single file. The woman couldn't stand the curiosity. She respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"

The woman replied, "Well, that first hearse is for my husband."

"What happened to him?"

The woman replied, "My dog attacked and killed him."

"Well, who is in the second hearse?"

The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her."

A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two women.

"Could I borrow that dog?"

"Get in line."

In the audit department of our local newspaper, my job was to record subscription renewals. One day I opened an envelope and found only half a check. Attached was a note: "The other half of this check is somewhere in the bushes in my yard, where my newspaper is thrown every morning."

@ Tope, hope everything is okay?

Do you know what would have happened if it had been Three Wise Women instead of Three Wise Men?

They would have asked directions,
arrived on time,
helped deliver the baby,
cleaned the stable,
made a casserole, and
brought practical gifts.

Start with a cage containing five monkeys. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the Banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the monkeys with cold water. After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result - all the monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when any monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

Now, Turn off the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The New monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his horror, all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will have the crap kicked out of him.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous Newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm. Again, replace a third original monkey with a new one. The new one makes it to the stairs and is attacked as well. Two of the four monkeys that beat him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs, or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey. After replacing the fourth and fifth original monkeys, all the monkeys which have been sprayed with cold water have been replaced. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs.

Why not?

Because that's the way it's always been around here. And that's how company policy begins.

If GH can stand for P as in Hiccough
If OUGH stands for O as in Dough
If PHTH stands for T as in Phthisis
If EIGH stands for A as in Neighbour
If TTE stands for T as in Gazette
If EAU stands for O as in Plateau

The right way to spell POTATO should be: GHOUGHPHTHEIGHTTEEAU

"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane, "

"Your seat cushions can be used for floatation, and in the event of an emergency water landing, please take them with our compliments."

"We do feature a smoking section on this flight; if you must smoke, contact a member of the flight crew and we will escort you to the wing of the airplane.

"Smoking in the lavatories is prohibited. Any person caught smoking in the lavatories will be asked to leave the plane immediately."

Pilot - "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land,  it's a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern."

"Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the overhead area. Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before assisting children or adults acting like children."

"As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses." "Last one off the plane must clean it."

And from the pilot during his welcome message: "We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry,  Unfortunately none of them are on this flight, !"

Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day. During the final approach the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant came on the PA and announced, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"

Another flight Attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."

"Welcome aboard Southwest Flight Bleep to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt, and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more.

Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines."

1) Don't let worry kill you. Let the Church help.

2) Thursday night - Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

3) Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

4) For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

5) The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

6) This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

7) Tuesday at 4 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.

Wednesday, the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing "Put Me In My Little Bed" accompanied by the pastor.

9) Thursday at 5 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become Little Mothers, please see the minister in his private study.

10) This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

11) The service will close with "Little Drops of Water". One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.

12) Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and get a piece of paper.

13) The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.

14) A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

15) At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

16) Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Baptist Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

17) The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.

18) Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.

19) 8 new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

20) Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.

21) The Senior Choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

22) Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan who are preparing for the girth of their first child.

23) Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

24) The Lutheran Men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.

25) The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge--Up Yours."

Computer game

Suicide Bombing Class

happiness is like pissing in ur undies. Everybody can't see it but you alone can feel its warmth. May u pee constantly in your pants today and always. Amen!

The joke requires a little thinkin to get it and the poster is not helpin matters with d way he made d postin.


The cinema house displayed a signpost "CLOSED FOR THE WINTER" but the Irish family thot the cinema house wanted to show a film titled so. Thus they waited at the cinema door waitin for the show until they were frozen to death.