₦airaland Forum

Damsonkc:
Get over yourselves you people. What’s with saying Nigeria is tech-starved? I no blame una. The condescending look makes me mad

Was wondering if no one saw that idiotic claim, Like seriously we are tech starved? Disgusting racist fools

Ishilove:
This translates to 'no' to both questions so there is no need for an apology

You know the right thing, you don't have to dodge it, however I'm letting go, no need dragging over trivial issues.

Ishilove:
Are you the the original writer? Are you the owner of the source Facebook account? Answer these questions first before we go to the issue of apology

Just follow your mind then

I sincerely think I demand an unreserved apology from Ishilove, first you're a mod, somehow you're supposed to be a model here (judging by your antecedents), you're also a Christian(we've met on some threads where I considered your opinion very valid and knowledgeable), I didn't respond in same measure to your "sexist idiot" tag because of the respect I have (and still have) for your person (although I do not know you beyond this faceless forum).

From your most recent comments, I can see you've realised the humour in this post hence you should do the needful.

Cc Ishilove

Lalasticlala
Mynd44

F

Ishilove:
The person who wrote this is an idiot. A sexist idiot

Ishilove calm please

This is just a joke, for humour and nothing more, haba.

Cc

Ishilove
Lalasticlala
Seun
Recitation
Farano
Supermods

"Sauce":
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10214196976775854&id=1157442330&ref=bookmarks

1. Aquatic spirits: These ones will make an ocean out of any meal, one cup of rice is to 25 litre of water, literally, they don't make Eba, they do "swimming cassava flakes".

2. Dead Sea: They have a covenant with salt, no living thing can survive if dropped in their pot of soup, Dangote salt recognises them yearly, they make the market boom.

3. Loud sounding cymbals: All noise and no substance, you can perceive the aroma of their foods from the Nigerian-Cameroon border, but that's where it ends, the taste will spoil your day and ruin your appetite.

4. Mixed culture: They are professional mixologists, they'll combine ancient Egyptian spices with local spices from the Nok culture, then garnish with ginger, garlic, tumeric, and all sorts of funny tasting blends, we should call them science students!

5. Silencers : These type can survive in any Nigerian private university hostel, Covenant, Babcock, Crawford, etc. Guess why? You never perceive anything, their meals are aroma non-compliant.

6. Kitchen imbeciles: May you never be unfortunate enough to meet one, their mama never allowed them in the kitchen once, they just stare confusingly, they can add okro to noodles, no kidding.

7. Credit thrift and loans: They're mostly from the south south, their meals leaves your account balance weeping uncontrollably, they can never manage, all sorts of animals must attend every pot session, with such ladies, you'll be "having the form of wealthiness but deny the power thereof!"

8. Village witches: Poverty is sunk deeply in their system, they are high performers with meals below 500 naira, they make local meals well, locust bean is their destiny partner, bitter leaf is always on the menu!

9. Cacophony of confusion: Just pity your unborn kids even if you're considering them for other purposes, they can add the oddest food combos, yam and rice, jollof rice and pettered beans, 24 vegetable varieties in one pot, lets not go on.

10. Wife materials(1,523,456 yards, quality Korean fabrics). They are high performers under any situation, they can make meals with 100 naira as well as 20,000 naira, food so perfect you think Angels supply their recipes, if you see one, cleave to her, even if she's the bone of your flesh!

Caveat: Advise taken at readers' risk, the writer is NOT liable for any inconveniences that may arise as a result of applying this piece, thank you.

Kk

CAPSLOCKED:


I'M A LEGEND OF SOMETHING AT LEAST.

YOU'RE A NOBODY

I've got better things to attend to than engage a faceless, jobless troll online, now run along kid.

CAPSLOCKED:

SO YOU MEAN.. ..

THAT BY PRAYING, GOD DIRECTS YOUR DAD TO SPARE YOU THE PUNISHMENT YOU DESERVE FOR COMMITTING A CRIME?
(OGA YOUR DAD SUFFERED FROM FREQUENT MEMORY LOSS)

BY PRAYING, GOD ANSWERED YOU, A KID SCARED OF PUNISHMENT FROM YOUR DAD, BUT IGNORES THE HUNDREDS OF CHILDREN WHO GET ABDUCTED, TORTURED, AND MOLESTED DAILY?

YOU MEAN THAT BY PRAYING, WITH JUST A LITTLE FAITH, WE CAN MOVE MOUNTAINS?
AS FAR AS THE EVIDENCES GATHERED THROUGH OUT HISTORY SUGGESTS, NO AMOUNT OF PRAYERS OR FAITH CAN MOVE A LEAF.

I'VE NEVER SEEN WHERE PRAYERS CURED MALARIA, OR ORDINARY PENILE DYSFUNCTION.. NOT TO TALK OF MAKING AMPUTEES GROW NEW PAIRS OF LIMBS.

YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT MOVING MOUNTAINS. DO YOU EVEN HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT A MOUNTAIN IS?

Your stupidity is legendary

Daslenan:
May God help us

Amen.

Lalasticlala
Seun
Ishilove
OAMJ4

I built my faith in God in a funny way.

When I was young, I was the playful type, dad would expect me to stay within the compound but trust me, I left the house as soon as he wasn't watching.

Back then in my family, the wages of such offence is flogging, the type of flogging that could be at strange hours of the night if you're smart enough to play hide and seek at daytime, escaping temporarily.

My dad never forgets offences that deserves flogging, his memory is generally"sharp".

I remember one day I had gone out to play soccer and I came back home really late, if the monkey post isn't scattered, nothing would make me leave. I was so sure there would be another round of serious flogging, I got home and truly, pankere was already in its conspicuous location in dad's room, this particular pankere was different, it's the type that leaves you with marks.

I knew I was in for a show that night, all my hide and seek ends at night, I would still have to sleep at home, and dad had a way of waking you up at midnight, he would invite you to the sitting room, start some " thou shall not disobey your father and mother" sermon, with pankere tucked somewhere behind the Sette, once done with sermon (which is majorly meant to make you wake up fully so you can feel the pain of the flogging that is about to happen), the next is floɠging.

I knew I was in for trouble, so for the first time in my life, I hid somewhere and prayed that God would make dad forget to flog me, I knew it had never happened that dad would forget such, but I prayed all the same, and I went to sleep.

I woke up at midnight myself, waiting for judgement, 1am, 2, 3, 4, and I slept off.

Dad never remembered, it was a miracle more vivid to me than the turning of water to wine!

Since then, whenever I committed an offence, I would pray, and Dad wouldn't remember, but if and whenever I forgot to pray, dad would remember to flog the stubbornness out of me.

If God would answer the prayers of a punishment deserving erring kid, all because I had a little faith, how much more when you pray to him with an heart of holiness?

God is real, all you have to do is talk to Him in whatever way you can.

Happy Sunday all, may your faith move mountains this week, amen!

Ilesanmi S. IYANULOLUWA writes from Lagos, Nigeria

Source:
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10213964393721423&id=1157442330&ref=m_notif&notif_t=feedback_reaction_generic

The resemblance is striking!

OBJ, the most active, most inspiring Nigerian leader in recent history.

I wish we gave him another term, we wouldn't be experiencing these ethnic division and crass incompetence in governance, an OBJ would never have a cabinet of the Shitty Alfa Shittu, Dalung, Lai, Garba etc.

Nigeria had a president!

It's right time Nairaland has a snake section, Lalasticlala what do you think?

chloedogie:
Boss did you study in offa? Kwara state? Or FUTA?

FUTA, why ask?

Afonjanightmare:
It's better you die in that your self inflicted pain o, you are highly irrelevant to mankind and christiandom. Just because someone doesn't take bank loan to start a church business doesn't mean he's not a Christian or cannot dish out worthy opinion, who told you Freeze has backslided? Self righteous ugly MOFO!!!

I would have given you a response but your moniker gave you away as an irredeemable bigot with absolutely no traces of modern civility, run along kid!

Touchey:
A yahoo yahoo pastor's son wrote this

I don't respond to such persons as you, your background is enough pain already, I wouldn't add more.

babablogger:
I prefer to give my 10 percent to the needy than to sponsor a soul called MOG lavish lifestyle


The Backfire Effect. The Misconception: When your beliefs are challenged with facts, you alter your opinions and incorporate the new information into your thinking. The Truth: When your deepest convictions are challenged by contradictory evidence, your beliefs get stronger.

You are yet to prove by any means that paying tithes is wrong, you didn't give any "fact and figure" whatsoever, so what exactly are you saying?

The time you folks use in attacking the church, if spent towards capacity building and self improvement, Nigeria would be a better place!

Hiccups:


@op, your initial choice of words makes your write up difficult to read. You begin by playing the role of God, judging Freeze as a fallen man, you lost it. I don't know Freeze but he's not different from any man of God. Your pastor preach from the Bible, Freeze uses same Bible. What is your basis of judging him? The problem with religious issues is that most followers lacks the needed faculty to reason or are just scared of doing so.

Freeze doesn't preach the Bible, he preaches a mutilated version, or rather, he mutilates the bible.

And you know why Freeze gains large followers? It's explained in the Bible...

"Having itching ears, they gather up teachers unto themselves"...

babablogger:
Judging others


All FRZ is doing is stating facts backed with facts from the bible, but all everyone has done is castigate him


I'm yet to see European and American pastors lay emphasis on tithes as their Nigerian counterparts

Nigerian pastors would keep getting richer and they keep preaching about vanity bla bla bla

Until you understand what placebo and Necebo means, it's only then you'll understand the strategy of tithing

Placebo ko, placenta ni.

It's a principle beyond your understanding, I tithe, and it has given me results, if I don't experience it I would think like you.

However, I am not going to argue with you, it'll be futile, i'll only pray you experience the principle someday, cheers

Ishilove