₦airaland Forum

cococandy:
You guys should stop beating about the bush and hire adults next time.
Whether you treat them well or not is not the issue. Child labor is wrong.
if those kids had a choice they'd want to be full time in school not looking after someone else's kids for money. That their parents gave them out doesn't mean in their minds they wouldn't want something else just that. They just follow what the parents say.

I concur. Am also pointing out aspects of the law that said a child must not hawk, be used in alms etc. The law does not isolate issues entirely but considered in full.

Eketem:
foregoing laws. The relevant provisions are found in Sections, 28, 29 and 30. Under Section 28(1), no child shall: (a) Be subjected to any forced or exploitative labour he shall not be employed to work in any capacity except where he is employed by a member of his family on light work of an agricultural, horticultural or domestic character4 He shall also not be required in any case to lift, carry or move anything so heavy as to likely to adversely affect his physical, mental, spiritual or social development5 Moreover, it is unlawful under the Act to employ a child as a domestic help outside his own home or family environment6. The prohibition extends to not allowing a child to work in an industrial undertaking7 or be used for the purpose of begging for alms, guiding beggars, prostitution and domestic or sexual labour8. No child shall be used as a slave or for practice similar to slavery such as debt bondage, serfdom or forced or compulsory labour of any kind.9 Consequently, children are not to be found hawkon main city streets, brothels or highways10 1 These include street trading, domestic servitude etc. 2 Cap L1, Laws of the Federation of Nigeria, 2004 3 The Act was enacted in 2003. 4 Section 28 (1)(b). 5 Section 28(1)(c). 6 Section 28 (1) (d). 7 Section 30 (2) 8 Section 30 (2) (a) 9 Section 30 (2) (b) 10 Sec 30 (2) (c

Please refer to sub section 1a and S5. Now don't judge me. The law knows that our niece's and nephews and even younger cousins can assist us, hence that provision.
If there are other interpretations, do let us know.
See also S 7,9 & 10 and interpret. Lawyers in the house over to you.
It is getting more interesting.

Eketem:
foregoing laws. The relevant provisions are found in Sections, 28, 29 and 30. Under Section 28(1), no child shall: (a) Be subjected to any forced or exploitative labour he shall not be employed to work in any capacity except where he is employed by a member of his family on light work of an agricultural, horticultural or domestic character4 He shall also not be required in any case to lift, carry or move anything so heavy as to likely to adversely affect his physical, mental, spiritual or social development5 Moreover, it is unlawful under the Act to employ a child as a domestic help outside his own home or family environment6. The prohibition extends to not allowing a child to work in an industrial undertaking7 or be used for the purpose of begging for alms, guiding beggars, prostitution and domestic or sexual labour8. No child shall be used as a slave or for practice similar to slavery such as debt bondage, serfdom or forced or compulsory labour of any kind.9 Consequently, children are not to be found hawking on main city streets, brothels or highways10 1 These include street trading, domestic servitude etc. 2 Cap L1, Laws of the Federation of Nigeria, 2004 3 The Act was enacted in 2003. 4 Section 28 (1)(b). 5 Section 28(1)(c). 6 Section 28 (1) (d). 7 Section 30 (2) 8 Section 30 (2) (a) 9 Section 30 (2) (b) 10 Section 30 (2) (c

Did you see sub section 1 (a)? Most times it is kids from extended family that plays that role.

Now don't judge me. The law knows that our niece's and nephews and even younger cousins can assist us. We are reading the law "as is".

If there is any other interpretation to the aforementioned sub sections, please enlighten us.

alcmene:
The All Progressives Congress (APC) has said that the party is aware of the hardship Nigerians are passing through over the current fuel scarcity.

The party on Wednesday made this statement following the ongoing fuel scarcity, saying the situation is being addressed.

“Let’s be a little more patient with the new cabinet of President Muhammadu Buhari. Most importantly, be assured that this government will surely deliver!

“Nothing good comes cheap. Sacrifices are required. By the time we pass through the foundation stage, Nigerians will see a new Nigeria!

http://thenationonlineng.net/fuel-scarcity-apc-write-nigerians/

Akuko. Dem don carry enter 18! Hypocrites of the highest order

jesse515:
I laugh at APC supporters, de were only being deceived. The aboki carpenter hu lives by me has relocated bak to the villa, den he was always chanting "sai baba" I felt so sorry for him. He was deceived.

By voting Buhari, we reseted Nigeria 37yrs back.

The aboki that carried me on the bike last week was cursing PMB saying he deceived them to vote him in when he lacks the power.

I only advised him to be patient. Abi? Sai Baba, Sai.......

babygirlfl:
You are free to quote me. I said if people want to help, they should help the child in her mum's. The other bits is what you added and not what I said.

Also, I am not against a child doing chores. I am against child labour. A child needs to go to school, do some housework, play or have some recreational activity and also study.I will never support using a child as help or worst still as a nanny and like you rightly said, it's my opinion.

That is what am saying, if my kids do the chores, it's not child labour but if she does it in another person's house it is child labour.. If she does it in their house it is normal but in another person's house then it's child labour. Well taken and understood.

bukatyne:
Wonderful post

I have not followed your discussion but this post in isolation is very much on point.

Yes, we have terrible madams but sometimes, what an help would do with joy for her mother would be an issue if her madam sends her.

Admittedly we have terrible madams but some maids or helpers no be am, may be by upbringing.

I for one detest lies talk less of chronic lies. I try to teach my kids the benefits of saying the truth always. I saw my kids talking the Mattress outside on Saturday and I enquired about what happened. My 9yrs old daughter quickly admitted bedwetting by mistake. But my 12yrs old helper will wet the bed, mop d mattress with pillow and stand her ground that she wasn't the culprit even when she slept alone. Train up a child the way he should go and when he grows up. .....My 7yrs shys from house work. You will hear her complaining when asked to wash plates but she will get use to it as time goes on but she will admit wrong doing and end with apology.

I don't have issues in house work. I cook my food and wash my car when I want to. I peel my beans in record time for moi moi. I do my ironing. Kini big deal? I basically need someone to stay with d kids until I come back which at times will be 9pm because of traffic. Otherwise, what does one need a maid for? Will she bath me or what?

Let's try as much as possible to allow our kids do some house work. My hubby asked my 9yrs old daughter to carry do bag of pure water to the car and she surprised me. So kini big deal?

Ojugunrege:
i honestly miss the point about having only the number of kids one can take of. It is not applicable in this case. abi,are there offices where u can bring your kid along to work? the best they can do is to provide a creche within the office premises. and remember the child will graduate from creche at 2 and start a proper school. what happens then on??
so therefore, when u have even only 1 child and u work, u still need someone to help u care for the child when u are at work usually 7-4, 8-5 with an upper and lower time limits that has to be built in 'cos of transport. so u have no other option but find someone to help u care for your kid while u are away.

in the op's case, u chose to find a young girl to live with her for that purpose. i dont think she has done anything wrong. if the girl were at home, she would still have run errands for her mum. btw, what kind of work or chores will be in a house inhabited by only 3 people
imagine, how many plates will she wash? there's a washing machine, too. how dirty can such a house get? Let me guess, a 2 or 3 bedroom flat...
didnt we do much more when we were younger in our own homes growing up?
i suspect that the girl and/or her mum has some other motives that they are saying. or may be they didnt understand the TOR of the 'engagement' or may be genuinely the girl felt somehow helping out in someone else's house.

some other options that may work is:
1. have your mum, MIL or trusted relative live with you
2. leave the child in school thruoght the time u are at work i.e. drop them in the morning and pick them when u are returning. A lot of schools have that arrangement which most working mothers use.
3. hire a security/background checked 18+ professional maid/nanny.

i tell u...it's a really challenging one for working mothers!

No. We were born with silver spoons and did not do any house work . We went to school before 7:30am and returned by 6:00pm. and do homework till 8:00pm; D

Someone even said we should send money for the girl's fees while she does or performs tougher tasks for her mum. Please let them compile the list of such children & fwd to us guilty employers of child labourers to foot the bill because we are FGN with no responsibility. ;E In their own opinions which they are entitled to anyway.

My 7yrs & 9yrs old wash dishes & sweep the house and am cool about that. My 9yrs cooks indomie. Am cool about it too. Child labour?? She is learning to wash her clothes because I won't follow her to boarding house come next year.

My husband started asking my kids to wash the toilets by 10yrs even though I objected initially but I now know better.

favoredgal:
That's child labor, what I was addressing was the ability to go to school and be a nanny as well

Anyways bo wahala. Do have a nice day

It all depend on the angle we look at things. I don't see myself preparing my younger kids for school or church if my 12y and 14 yrs daughters are around but I don't trust my helper to do that because she has a different orientation though a month older than my 12yrs old daughter.

I expect my 12yrs old daughter to clean the dishes and sweep. Kini big deal but send the little girl with you and people will scream blue murder.

I used to wake up my 12yrs old daughter to prepare her younger ones for school & she was resisting. I was surprised to see her set alarm when my 14yrs went to school before her. But sending my helper will bring issues here.

My former helper used to wash clothes but I can't send my little helper to do that but limited her to sweeping and cleaning the dishes and she finds them challenging.

I Went to visit my younger brother and family the other day, I met him cooking as well as feeding his son. The wife was away and the maid was washing. My aburo will wash beans for moi moi within 30mins & it's not a big deal for him. If you see him carrying a baby on his back, you will marvel.

Those are things we learnt growing up with our elder brother and neighbours told us we were being maltreated

Train up a child the way he should go and when he grows up.. ....

tearoses:
something else we are not taking into consideration regarding this discussion is cultural and geographical differences.

Labour is not cheap and readily available in the west, so those who live here do everything ourselves. The hubby's are more hands on and we find ways to make life easier for us, however in Nigeria there are more hands available, be it relatives and house helps and so they get to do most of the housework

I have a 12 year old too and she cannot carry a bucket of water talk less of wash a car and that is because there is no need to. So if she comes to your house, she will cry 24/7
But I see where you are coming from because your daughter is able to do it, so you will expect any 12 year old to do it and you genuinely mean no harm.

I will be honest here and say that Nigeria life doesn't make it easy. i wash my car probably 8 times a year here why the cars in Nigeria have to be cleaned everyday, and everything in Nigeria takes that much more effort to do
I havent got a problem with having house-helps, but not kids and for them to be treated fairly and well as they are human beings too.

No be small thing. I don't use my car daily but when I do, she does the washing, if she is around but sending my helper will bring issues.

I bought 25 litres of vegetable oil the other day I was surprised to see my 12yrs old carrying it to my car. I used to see them as babies until my helper left.
We are growing on daily basis. The relatives want only assistance without offering a helping hand.

tearoses:
@glossy quick question
I didn't realise that there are public boarding schools. I thought that they were all day schools.
Are these in Lagos?
Do you pay for boarding or is it free?
Thanks

I didn't know initially but stumbled on it while seeking admission for my daughter into Nigerian Navy Secondary School.

Lagos state have upgraded and model colleges scattered all over Lagos. No tuition fees but boarding fees is 25k per term. Most of them are full boarding with few day. When you get there you see parents with jeeps dropping their kids.

Admission forms 15k or more if go through your child's school are obtained from Fidelity bank and slips obtained from Lagos State exams board, near NYSC camp Ipaja. Then proceed to online application.

babygirlfl:
Government schools in Nigeria used to be good but not anymore. If the government school they mean is like the last one I saw the last time I visited Nigeria or like the one in this picture, then no child should be there.

Also my main point is that children should not be nannies. I got maternity leave after I had my child and trust me, looking after a child is a full time job. It should not be what a student does because she will have no time to study.
A student can help around the house because ideally, house chores do get to a point you can leave for another day but looking after a child is round the clock. I went for further studies after I had my child and even as an adult that I am, it was difficult. Hubby had to look after my cutie a lot of the time for me to be able to study. How then can a kid/teenager look after a child and study?

Government schools especially in Lagos are not totally write offs. They employ qualified teachers unlike some 3 bedroom flats private schools that employs SSCE attempted graduates as teachers.

As for nannies stuff, babies should be in creche if there is no grown up to perform that task but keeping someone's child at home to look after your baby while her mates are in school is totally unfair.

But as for maids or helpers, they may not be totally avoided for the average working mother.

Kimoni:
There is nothing wrong with public schools if that is what you can afford. I know thousands of people who passed through public schools and are outstanding in their respective fields today, at least Lagos I know.

Pls hire an adult henceforth, someone who is old enough to face you and negotiate her terms. Source them from an agency with a good reputation amongst your friends or colleagues and get someone who is happy doing the job and not forced to work.

Like Nihilist said, bringing in a child from her poor parents to a better environment is supposed to be a win-win situation for both the adopted and biological mothers, especially in a country with a high inequality index like Nigeria; unfortunately, this privilege has been abused by many and it is now easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a family to convince the world they are indeed treating these wards right. But that doesn't mean there are no success stories, of course there are. It's just a case of too many bad eggs...

If you are convinced yourself within you that you treated her right, pls move on and learn from this experience. Nobody can pass the guilty verdict on you if you indeed treated her right.

A sensible post. I have read of maids eating with different plates. I don't see the rationale behind that. My helper eats from the same pot with the same plates and cups with my kids on the dining. Uses the same toilet soaps with us but have her towels to herself.

The same tailor is making their Xmas dresses, although different styles and colours as some would want me to believe that I should use the same colours & styles to prove my "innocence" as if they are Aso-ebi lined up for a wedding.

My helper sleeps with my 9yr old kid & I see no big deal in date.

She might be a child but should do some basic chores not necessarily over burdensome. But inasmuch as she is outside her mum's care, she will feel bad.

Am not good & I don't intend getting some likes but merely stating the obvious. My 12yrs old girl washes my car pretty well & does it well but she will see it as ill treatment if she were living outside her home. That is understandable. But it doesn't stop us from handing the kids basic chores. My kids bring in d groceries with my helper and that doesn't make them lesser beings.

Oh my 9yr old is a human rights activist. Whilst taking her "mama oyoyo" she will demand for the helper's own. I don't create class or caste system in my home

As for choice of school, it's always "if it were your child could you have enrolled her in public school?". I had that challenges & wanted to change my husband nieces schools to private but he stood his ground. Today they are in higher institutions. Today my kids are in public school (though boarding ) and "no comments". It's like that.

My previous helper (19yr) was in a private school too because my kids were in boarding. There is no big deal in that.

Let's face the issues, take the learning and not necessarily pour venom because nobody is a saint.

Points has been made and lessons learnt on this issue. Inasmuch as I don't want to prolong issues on this thread, I want more clarification on this "professional nanny" of a thing.

Please what make them professional? Do they undergo training as done in the US? How can we engage them? Pls don't tell me OLX.

I need to know and maybe one or two people here. Genuine info & not usual NL bashing.

Kachisbarbie:
The first thing I noticed was how she put the girl in a government school, a child you claim wasn't doing well academically. I decided to shut up kwa, before them go say I done talk.
She put the lil girl in govt. school so that she can close early and be "useful".

Please is there anything wrong with government schools in Lagos? I want to know so as to withdraw my kids from them. [quote author=Kachisbarbie post=40367619]

At times bad people use it to bring bad luck. So they say but as for me, God created both hands for our use.

Eketem:
Great then contact the poster, she needs a replacement househelp, she will be sent to school, be fed. Make the connection please. Nairaland is great isn't it?


Meanwhile, when we want to buy clothes or shoes we go for the best and ensure it fits and will last but when we want help for our kids we are willing to be as cheap and as crude as possible.

Oops. do help me make d connections as you have all it takes. It seems you want to make a point and you have made it. Haven't you? You are a one-way thinker, who reads only what her mind wants to read. No need going further on this cos it won't let u reason beyond what you have made up your inner mind to see.

If I had said NO, you could still be bickering. So I chose the other. Let those that have issues with giving out their daughters do the worrying. MY Post remains that such little girls cannot fit in and am posting this for others and not you. You always win in arguments and that is not what I came for.

If a mum sends her child to live to someone in a symbiotic relationship that should be the mother's headache. And if d madam cannot benefit from the relationship, it becomes her headache.

Eketem:
It is a simple yes or no question will you send your child to be a maid in another persons home? Yes or no please

YES

Eketem:
I apologise for bringing your husband into this, forgive me just that it's the excuse some women give.

However my point remains, simple yes or no answer: will you send your 11 year old to be a maid? Since you insist an 11 year old is mature enough to work outside her home

Pls go through my 1st post again. I responded to someone who suggested taking a smaller naive kid from the village and I gave my experiences with such indicating that bringing kids of that age brings more headache than relief. Most times they had not been doing that at home & making them adapt becomes tasking just as my kids would find it tasking. That is life.

The child in question is now 12 going to 13yrs and still cannot wash plates. I don't know what you call work outside her home. They are the same chores she will do at home. Wash plates and sweep the house. I bath my kids and dress them up for school, get breakfast ready for them and pack lunch for them including her. I wash the clothes and cook. I wash hers when I discover she may not have time for them. that doesn't make me a saint as I have my own faults.

The truth be toĺd kids these days are lazy. I had a running battle withmy daughter, now 14yrs who was reluctant to do house work because she is used to being served. Today she runs the home when she is at home. I rather be with my kids which i have insisted on after my last experience. You may end up training other people kids while yours cannot do the house chores if you are not careful.

To your question, yes. I started living with my brother at that age and you won't believe me, today I am eternally grateful to him. After God, he is the next.

Yes. It was tough because he is a no nonsense man. I took the lasses (both tongue & cane) but I came out better. I learnt all the chores in his house. I was washing his trousers and ironing them by the time I was 13yrs. I always tell my kids that I will send them there for training whenever they misbehave.

Today am an FCA and living well above poverty level.ū

Eketem:
I apologise for bringing your husband into this, forgive me just that it's the excuse some women give.

However my point remains, simple yes or no answer: will you send your 11 year old to be a maid? Since you insist an 11 year old is mature enough to work outside her home

The child in question is now 12 going to 13yrs and still cannot wash plates. I don't know what you call work outside her home. They are the same chores she will do at home. Wash plates and sweep the house. I bath my kids and dress them up for school, get breakfast ready for them and pack lunch for them including her. I wash the clothes and cook. I wash hers when I discover she may not have time for them. that doesn't make me a saint as I have my own faults.
The truth be toĺd kids these days are lazy. I had a running battle withmy daughter, now 14yrs who was reluctant to do house work because she is used to being served. Today she runs the home when she is at home. I rather be with my kids which i have insisted on after my last experience. You may end up training other people kids while yours can do the chores if you are not careful.

To your question, yes. I started living with my brother at that age and you won't believe me, today I am eternally grateful to him. After God, he is the next.

Yes. It was tough because he is a no nonsense man. I took the lasses (both tongue & cane) but I came out better. I learnt all the chores in his house. I was washing his trousers and ironing them by the time I was 13yrs. I always tell my kids that I will send them there for training whenever they misbehave.

Today am an FCA and living well above poverty level.

Beesluv:
How is accomodating, feeding and sending a maid to school slavery

Yes. As if they don't wash plates and wash clothes in their homes. Growing up was tougher but we came out refined.

I expect a 12yrs going to 13yrs to be able to wash plates thoroughly with the tap running 24 hours. But people are shouting child Labour but they won't shout child Labour or slavery when the child fries garri and pound fufu for her mum, misses school now and then, goes to school without books. No. It is alright as far as it is her parents.

The truth is that she's not your child and sees everything as maltreatment.

Some people keep them in their house for 1yr before sending them to school and kids that find themselves in such homes funny enough seem to tolerate it.

Acidosis:
The F.G needs to do something fast about under age nannies & career centred couples.


If you know you cannot manage your career and your family, then don't even think about getting married.


I think the institution called marriage should be the sole right of couples who are willing to give their offsprings adequate attention.

Marriage is not a must, you should have stayed SINGLE. There is no dignity in avoidable stress.

Nigeria needs to quickly utilize the Saudi Arabia strategy. Married women should be banned from taking on difficult and time consuming jobs. For those who want the stress, they should stay off marriage.

I don't know why I hate young couples who live apart. I see them as desperate folks whose interests lie on WEDDING RING & MONEY.

What are you really saying? Did she complain about her marriage? If Nigeria utilizes the South Arabia strategy, she should pay the South Arabian way and provide housing and other amenities the South Arabian way. Who need the stress anyway?

Eketem:
Send your own 11 year old daughter to be a househelp then come back and tell us if your daughter was a " good one" to somebody.

An 11 year old child has no business being a househelp, she is a developing child who needs to learn and play not be saddled with your kids. Gosh, what is wrong with us? Stop this please. Hire a professional or get a creche, stop being penny wise and pound foolish not to talk of illegal, an 11 year old can barely take care of herself. If you are afraid of your husbands fidelity with an older girl then deal with your husband not make a child your maid abeg.

What is the definition of a maid by the way? A child that grows along with my kids can't be said to be a maid but a helper. My daughter of the same age does the same chores when she is back from school as a boarder and does them fairer. You mean she is not meant to wash dishes or sweep in her mother's house? Well, my girl of 5 wash the dishes. My 13yrs old do the laundry for me.

Saddled ke? Sweep, bath herself eat and go to school with my kids. Return from school, get food from d flask for her & my kids. They do harder stuff in their home without being equipped for school and it is not slavery. Maybe 4yrs go to creche and not school as you have read my post with a biased mind.

Am supposed to bath her abi? Well I don't bath my daughter of same age and she does her morning duties as a boarder in a public school.

I applaud your response. By the way, I was only telling the writer that getting kids that age are needless and not worth it. For ur info, I don't have issue with my husband. Put a 25yr old unclad lady in a locked room with him & he won't fall for it. He is a very decent man.

I don't keep girls her age. This is d 1st trial and its not worth it. If your 11yr now 12yrs not being able to wash plates is ok by you, so be it.

idyexcel:
You don't have to be too hard on yourself. You did what anybody with conscience would have done. Maybe that's why she loved your son. What is meat and juice? My advice is when next you go looking for some helping hands, go for someone younger, someone you can still mould, someone that is still naive. Maybe it's even better you go to the villages.

Hmmmm. I laugh in Latin. last yr Oct, I brought an 11yr old naive girl from the village to help me at home. she bedwets and mop up the mess with the pillows.

I enrolled her in a private school close to my house where she was admitted in Basic 4. I bought textbooks for her & she started schooling immediately. But aside the bedwetting which has stopped after much coaching, she can't wash dishes clean enough even up to now. she sweeps the house using 2 hrs 30 mins on the average. At the end of the sweeping exercise, you will wish she never did.

She tell lies more than any human being living. I have been asking after her homework which she kept on saying she was not given. She will be idling away while my kids sweat it out doing loads of homework. I wasn't ready to confront the proprietress on this since I had confronted her when she was in Basic 4. I don't want to be seen as disliking her teachers. hers was the only school that admitted her in Basic 4, others went as low as basic 2.

About 5wks ago, I brought up the homework issue again and I sent someone to confirm from her classmate if they were not given homework and why?

2wks later the story remained same but she went to school to allege that house chores does not permit her to do homework. that she is being starved (she serves food to herself )......and lots of unprintable lies.

Conclusion: you hardly can find a good one. No matter what you do to them, you are not her biological mum and she can NEVER appreciate you.

oyovwipam:
May God keep that pregnant woman safe

I learnt she lost so much blood and died after being delivered of the baby. I pray it is not true sha

We thank God that the robbers have been caught.

tinktanker:
d clueless one I mean is d pedophile o. Not Mr transformation.

ok o

Stop overheating the already heated polity

nkemdi89:
Good let me educate you, in giving report and disseminating information there are some elements needed to make that information complete, in literary term a watery information means it's incomplete and doesn't fulfill the elements needed in that report of the incident, that's where retasking comes in. I believe have taken my time and mb to clarify you, not all of us do come online and insult.

And you believe the writer had all the details when the horrible incident took place & did not state them?

Burger01:
Those useless IPOB Biafra robbers will come to another country to rob

Mumu 2015. So delta is Biafra. Excessive hatred is bad for your soul. Mtchew

quincybee12:
ill pray and convince him to attend a bible believing church,,,im not saying the church I attend is the best,,,but if he can switch to a bible believing church even if it's not d one I attend,,well get married,,,on d oda hand,,if he refuses,,,well part ways,,i can't marry a catholic

When so called Catholics attend masses only on Sundays they come up with stories of having seen the light.
So catholics are not bible believing abi? What stopped you from joining charismatic movements.
The last time I tried hooking a guy I ran to BBC as you have done but it didn't take me anywhere.
Today I am Proudly Catholic

tinktanker:
don't mind the clueless one

That's what you called GEJ until you met the changer that has short changed you. At least you should have learnt better