₦airaland Forum

chika98:
You what I'm right there with you.
Marriage is WORK. It can only work when people love each other, have and share the same values, have a GREAT deal of respect for one another and willing to be totally SELFLESS. It isn't going to work if you feel like you always have to control everything or you get upset all the time something doesn't happen they way you would like (trust me I know). You have to be humble and understanding. That man has to see his home as his serene abode. . where he can come and feel safe and happy. You have to resolve your issues but don't believe in that not going to bed angry thing because it doesn't work sometimes BUT always find ways to work it out.

Leaving will cross your mind. Yes it will but you have to know that it is till do you part so you can't just walk away. You can't change a man and having a wedding isn't going to change a thing!! So if there's something he does now that pisses you off better believe that it isn't going to change after you say IDO. Marriage is more of mental  commitment  than physical. You just have to get a legal document to prove it.  How many of us will say " oh if he hits me I'm leaving"? Do you really think it is that easy?? You just have to pray that God gives you a husband that will not resort to physical violence that's why respect is very important.

In the end, Only God keeps a marriage!! Only him!!! Men can be difficult to deal with and understanding them can be hard sometimes but once you find that one person for you,  then it makes things a lot easier! Don't settle or else you will frustrate yourself and end up an angry married woman.

so its not even to leave him even when he abuse you?  my Gawd , all you have to do is pack your bags and serve him divorce papers, I mean so you should stay in marriage even though your husband beat you?

hello everyone!

thanks   queenisha for your  lessons. I don't know how im going to do it yet!   it seems like you have to become a total different person,  and i think its going to be hard on me. I am used to having my way most times.  you said you must love your mother in law. what if you try so hard to make her love you but she still finds fault in you, what do you do? what kind of issues should you look over? what if he does something terrible like cheating etc, and some man no dey show face until marriage  how do u deal with a stranger you married then,

i think you should try the moon! Nonsense!!!

bwahahahaaaaaaa

for us yet to marry, tell us more from the difference between being single and getting married, how has it changed you personally? good or bad? any lessons? if you can have it another way, would you want to get married or you regret it?

opsydudu:
@poster

you felt so special because so many nairalanders are trying to be nice to you.

now you messed up big time with your last post.

na you no get sense at allllllllll.

i wonder why you get that ugly pic from?

are u sure you are a nigerian?

well said ! I don't understand this babe o.   her shades just need wiper,  Fine babe, tyra banks sister  ,  @poster, you are very rude. If you talk s h i t once expect to be  s hit talked 1 x 100.  Get a grip of your self!

dyabman:
try it , theres nothing new under the earth

wetin now

with men they usually have done the mistake before, ***sigh**, i wish i can beat him sometimes. but i know not to try it lol

Godspalm:
i don't know how long this debate of opinion is be going on, talking from my experience,  ma babe is already to trying da silence treatment, and i have been playing same game to her. She does not like that i play back her game. She is still stubborn but i aint giving in, because when u do it encourages her to do it again and again when we av issues! Dudes lets be smart ! i hate it when a woman that proffeses love use emotional frictions, mind games to get at a man because of what they percieve as weakness, Its all a game, Bring it on babes!

To do well in this game, just sharpen your charms, smile very well and enjoy meeting new ladies! hmmmm! Thats a better treatment to ladies who play mind games!

see how man are. For us ladies, most of us is too sad to even think about meeting someone else, but guys will always cheat even when the situation on ground is not totally solved!

I know gals!

Its crazy i think we sometimes put them in our mind more than they put us in their mind. Guys have lots of ways to relief stress. ( Video games, sports etc) That sucks!

@shegirl

everyone has a right to their opinion why are you making such a big deal of nothing!

Desiree1:
@ Templa

We haven't broken up, maybe I did with him in my mind but even though, he doesn't want to and still has my things u know so I guess that's the strategy he's using to make sure he still has me.

LOL!! nice plan hope it works!

tRoOE:
[size=13pt] True that but the best way to handle situation like this will be,
Talk things out in a mature way, so whateva the issue can get resolve
and not allowing our anger to take the best of us [/size]

yeah I know. if only men listen. They go back doing the same S***t after talking to them. I'm like why waste time talking?

if you wanted only toptop advice, you should have asked for her email,ymsg rather than posting a thread on a public forum! Truth hurts my dear! learn from it!

tRoOE:
[size=13pt]Oh babe you cheap no be small
Cheaper than pure water sef
Y were you chashing him around in the 1st place
The bobo ignored your calls,texts, and even went ahead to switch  off his phone
Can't u read between the line that he doesn't want you
You were acting so desperate[/size]

well said!

i don't think she said they have broken up, its harder than u think !

dyabman:
fo eti e!

so you are a woman beater? you should be ashamed of yourself, if you are serious!

opsydudu:
is this thread only for women?

i'm out of here

No its not a woman thread! Fellas lets hear your own story too!

tRoOE:
[size=13pt]I act very cold and only reply his questions by just 2 word
Like okay, yea, hmmmmmm, iight e.c.t
Ignoring  his phone call is very childish [/size]

No not childish . It depends on the gravity of the crime he has committed. when you are really upset, i dont think two word reply can do the job   

Desiree1:
@Gucci_Babe

it's a hard thing oo, I miss him, this lesson is even weighinh me down not only because i miss him but i can't bear thinking he's feeling sad n such.

awwwww, just know what is meant to be wil be, occupy yourself i know it's hard but be strong!

Sisikill:
@ Topic
When I’m angry, I write long, long, long letter to the person. I mean long, long, long. Once I’m done, I try to add silent treatment to it but so many factors are against me (1) I talk too much (2) I talk too much (3) I can only keep malice if I don’t see the person (4) I talk too much.

The talking one kills me because I forget I’m supposed to keeping malice and before I know it, I am gisting about a movie I saw, a book I read, what happened at work, fly that just flew by. . . anything.

Having no self control is the worst.

ouch! thats why sometimes its better to ignore, not to even talk, see, or hear from them, cause when you love someone and you are next to them its even harder to keep malice or fight with them for a long time , I know it sucks!

Desiree1:
As 4 me, he's at fault yet he still has this ittle pride so im keeping my distance too 2 see his next step but it aint easy. even if he's not thinking bout me, im thinking bout if he's ok n happy? i wish i could call him now but i gotta do what i have to do rite?

Hey  I know exactly how you feel. I ve been there before, its so hard to keep away sometimes, even though you know deep down inside you want to forgive but yet  you just can't see yourself answering his phone calls or better yet calling him either.  when that happened to me I didn't speak  to him for like 2 weeks or so, he stopped calling for like a week and i couldn't take the heartbreak of watching my phone and he's not calling, so i decided to change my number (ofcourse that wasn't the smartest thing to do ) But it kept me away from feeling the hurt of him not calling me and i tried to  get myself busy from thinking about him ,obviously i thought it was over . to cut the long story short,  He met with a friend of mine and he asked my friend to give him my number ( I was so happy)  But he didn't know, He called me and we settled things etc,  My point ,  what is meant to be will be. You have to be strong if you really want to teach him a lesson but i can tell you its a dangerous game!

Another thing i heard from an akata friend is to write down what your partner has done to get you upset ( as in what he did/done/ and doing), anytime you are tempted to swallow your pride, read through it ( it makes you remember why you got upset in the first place) I havn't tried it but i hope this works

its nature something you cannot control   Duh!

showbobo:
@Poster

I'm becoming sick of YOU always wasting my precious time,ehn??Whats your problem??Are you retarded??Everybody has the right to be stupid but you're just abusing the privilege.Get a life,ok

LMAO!

Tell me about it!   don't you get annoyed  when you demand an explanation and  they end up saying " I said what I had to say" and thats probably nothing that can justify the way you feel at the moment, and when you start pressing  them to talk more  " why are you yelling, or  you nagg too much,  I don't get it