₦airaland Forum

I heard that, BABE!

I heard that, BABE!

Thanx so much, Ivynwa. You made me look at things from a new perspective.

@190
i tire
@ ivynwa
For a hot minute, my fianceé's shenanigans captivated me. Now it's not funny anymore. Just because I've taken certain decisions, doesn't mean I lack depth. I wanted to retain close communication with my ex after the breakup, but she didnt want that. So when I picked up the pace of my life, the door of communition between me and ex was virtually closed.
I don't want to disappoint my fiancée, but I don't want a broken home too.
And you can't deny that my friend acted in a despicable manner.

^^^THANK YOU ALL. I think the handwriting is on the wall. I have to salvage my life and happiness! I have to summon courage and call it off! It won't be easy but that seems to be my only option.

^Thanx man. I am thinking of calling off this engagement for real. It'l really cause a stinker but I guess I just have to man up.

^Everything is complicated. And I cant even think straight of what step to take

^^
you make sense and your lecturer made sense too!

I didnt use and dump my ex. I just didnt want to waste anymor of her time. I thought I'd get a job and get settled after service. Things didnt work out that way. She's young, beautiful and decent. I'm sure by now she has a man who appreciates her worth! I didnt dump her for being old, she is stil very much young and beautiful. But as a girl that had finished school and service, how would I have coped when she starts undergoing pressure to get married? I didnt have anything I could boast of, to enable me marry her.
I got a school girl that I could grow with, that way, I would be capable of marrying her when she graduates. . . .

^am just trying to be abit anonymous. Only d girl and I know the things av written. The truth is, I am ashamed. I dont want my peeps on NL to start putting 2 and 2 together.
@all
thanks for your advice. Its obvious I have to take a stand, been brainstorming alot!

@190
north central!

@all
This same girl when I told her to write a list of the things she would need in school, gave me a bill of 80k with the intention of using the money to buy brazilian human hair, which she hid from me but I found out. Yes, it was her money to do as she liked, but I hate when people don't know whats important. WHY WOULD YOU BUY 80k HAIR WHEN GOD GAVE YOU YOUR OWN? What values will she be teaching our kids?
This wedding aso-oke money is more than 200k, it was meant for us and our parents. She has used it on creams, lotions, oils, herbal supplements, gnld products, forever living bla bla bla, contact lenses and so on. The rest, she cannot account for. She claims she sent for some 'kitchen things' from Dubai (which I don't believe), as it will be too late to get them when she gets the dough her dad is giving her.
And she has promised to get the cloths done from the daddy's money.
I think I have a right to be mad at her!

@babe
even if it is 1kobo, it is my hard earned money that I worked and sweated for. Find out how much silk aso-oke is made and you'll know its amount could pay some people's 3 months salary. The money included ones I wanted her to make to surprise our parents with.

@190
I am looking into that, my guy. Thanx

As I write, I think of my ex girlfriend. I know now that I made a great mistake the day I called it quits with her. We met during our NYSC and inspite of the many hardships, I was looking very fresh due to her love and many sumptious dishes. She wasn't a drain on my pockets, was very intelligent, reserved and decent. My friends advised me that I had gotten a keeper. She was beautiful too, and I know guys disturbed her alot but she was true to me.

After service, I wasn't ready to settle down and told her as much. She was hurt, because from the beginning, she made it clear she wanted a serious relationship and I'd told her I was serious.

Maybe it's Karma. My young fianceé that I am due to marry is putting me through so much ish!

I opened a joint account to enable ease of funds during our wedding preparations. I paid in a substantial amount for her to do some much needed things like get the trad. outfits and so on. This girl has gone to spend it on some very expensive creams, lotions, soaps, spa treatments and whatnot, having the nerve to tell me that she needs to start polishing her skin before the D-day, that she will later go to pay the aso-oke weaver and do the other things when she gets the money she is expecting from her daddy. I thought our trad outfit was more important than all those inconsequential things! She hasn't met with the caterer, the venue people and so on. Her first pursuit was herself, herself, HERSELF!

The painful thing is that, she couldn't pinpoint anything of true importance that she has done with the money I sent!

I was happy that I got a younger girl. But now, I think of my more matured ex (whom I now realise is still very much young and viable, as she hasn't even clocked 30) and I want to bite my finger in regret. I am at my wit's end. I have had numerous talks with my fianceé, she has refused to change. She is a classic case of not being able to force a horse to drink water. She is spoilt rotten and I realise she is not yet matured enough to appreciate a good, calm man like me. Is it late to back out at this point? I think I have made a great mistake! What do I do?


N.b
@all
This same girl when I told her to write a list of the things she would need in school, gave me a bill of 80k with the intention of using the money to buy brazilian human hair, which she hid from me but I found out. Yes, it was her money to do as she liked, but I hate when people don't know whats important. WHY WOULD YOU BUY 80k HAIR WHEN GOD GAVE YOU YOUR OWN? What values will she be teaching our kids?
This wedding aso-oke money is more than 200k, it was meant for us and our parents. She has used it on creams, lotions, oils, herbal supplements, gnld products, forever living bla bla bla, contact lenses and so on. The rest, she cannot account for. She claims she sent for some 'kitchen things' from Dubai (which I don't believe), as it will be too late to get them when she gets the dough her dad is giving her.
And she has promised to get the cloths done from the daddy's money.
I think I have a right to be mad at her!
As an addition, since most Nairalanders are castigating me for 'dumping' my fiance. . . .I didnt use and dump my ex. I just didnt want to waste anymor of her time. I thought I'd get a job and get settled after service. Things didnt work out that way. She's young, beautiful and decent. I'm sure by now she has a man who appreciates her worth! I didnt dump her for being old, she is stil very much young and beautiful. But as a girl that had finished school and service, how would I have coped when she starts undergoing pressure to get married? I didnt have anything I could boast of, to enable me marry her.
I got a school girl that I could grow with, that way, I would be capable of marrying her when she graduates. . . .

.

@Obo
Am just thinking of how to go about it. . .but I WILL do something. I didnt go out looking to help him mind his biz, he brought his business to me!

@queen b
me too, i nor sabiii

@solomto
My guy, I tire o. I hope she leaves when she knows who he is.

@manmuswac
Thanx, my guy. Il consider that.

My guys, as I was saying;
Her fiance called me back and asked me series of questions. I answered to the best of my ability but he flared up, and called her nasty names to my hearing, saying that she was a 'ho and it will be for my own good if I keep away from her. Apparently, he doesnt like her keeping friends and was pissed I sent her a text. I felt really bad because I know she's not those things and I told him some heated words too. My dilemma is; I can understand he's trying to protect his interest but going as far as naming her a 'ho, shows he's not her husband, but I've not been able to tell her what he said. I dont want to make it seem like I broke up somebody's relationship. I carried out some investigations of my own in his former neighborhood and I found out he's abusive to women, including his mother, and his last girlfriend had to flee. Because his bad character was known all over, he packed to a new neighborhood, and that was where they met and started dating. He has really been hiding his true colours from her because he wants to get married to her. I think God seeing the type of girl she is, made the guy show me his true colours. But how do I warn her?

.

@egift
Guy, you are wicked. What if you were the one that was surrounded by a mob, matcheted and then set alight? Will you be analysing thus? If it was your body that was sliced in half, will you be analysing coolly behind a computer screen? Look at Obinna, look at Aik, they were youngmen looking towards a bright future. In what way did they deserve being slaughtered like rabid dogs?
There is no way to rationalize this, guy. Don't leave the wheat to chase the chaff!!!

Look at this promising young man! Cut down in his prime in such a brutal way in his own country?! Aaah, dis is heartbreaking. It shouldn't happen to an animal, talkless of a human. MAY THE BLOOD OF THESE YOUNG MEN CRY OUT TO GOD LIKE THAT OF ABEL. THOSE THAT DID THIS HAVE MURDERED SLEEP AND SHALL SLEEP NO MORE.

hey kandii, no hard feelings. . .was just catchin my trips.
Your 'friend' should walk out and leave her with her agbero children. Its a free world!