As I write, I think of my ex girlfriend. I know now that I made a great mistake the day I called it quits with her. We met during our NYSC and inspite of the many hardships, I was looking very fresh due to her love and many sumptious dishes. She wasn't a drain on my pockets, was very intelligent, reserved and decent. My friends advised me that I had gotten a keeper. She was beautiful too, and I know guys disturbed her alot but she was true to me.

After service, I wasn't ready to settle down and told her as much. She was hurt, because from the beginning, she made it clear she wanted a serious relationship and I'd told her I was serious.

Maybe it's Karma. My young fianceé that I am due to marry is putting me through so much ish!

I opened a joint account to enable ease of funds during our wedding preparations. I paid in a substantial amount for her to do some much needed things like get the trad. outfits and so on. This girl has gone to spend it on some very expensive creams, lotions, soaps, spa treatments and whatnot, having the nerve to tell me that she needs to start polishing her skin before the D-day, that she will later go to pay the aso-oke weaver and do the other things when she gets the money she is expecting from her daddy. I thought our trad outfit was more important than all those inconsequential things! She hasn't met with the caterer, the venue people and so on. Her first pursuit was herself, herself, HERSELF!

The painful thing is that, she couldn't pinpoint anything of true importance that she has done with the money I sent!

I was happy that I got a younger girl. But now, I think of my more matured ex (whom I now realise is still very much young and viable, as she hasn't even clocked 30) and I want to bite my finger in regret. I am at my wit's end. I have had numerous talks with my fianceé, she has refused to change. She is a classic case of not being able to force a horse to drink water. She is spoilt rotten and I realise she is not yet matured enough to appreciate a good, calm man like me. Is it late to back out at this point? I think I have made a great mistake! What do I do?


N.b
@all
This same girl when I told her to write a list of the things she would need in school, gave me a bill of 80k with the intention of using the money to buy brazilian human hair, which she hid from me but I found out. Yes, it was her money to do as she liked, but I hate when people don't know whats important. WHY WOULD YOU BUY 80k HAIR WHEN GOD GAVE YOU YOUR OWN? What values will she be teaching our kids?
This wedding aso-oke money is more than 200k, it was meant for us and our parents. She has used it on creams, lotions, oils, herbal supplements, gnld products, forever living bla bla bla, contact lenses and so on. The rest, she cannot account for. She claims she sent for some 'kitchen things' from Dubai (which I don't believe), as it will be too late to get them when she gets the dough her dad is giving her.
And she has promised to get the cloths done from the daddy's money.
I think I have a right to be mad at her!
As an addition, since most Nairalanders are castigating me for 'dumping' my fiance. . . .I didnt use and dump my ex. I just didnt want to waste anymor of her time. I thought I'd get a job and get settled after service. Things didnt work out that way. She's young, beautiful and decent. I'm sure by now she has a man who appreciates her worth! I didnt dump her for being old, she is stil very much young and beautiful. But as a girl that had finished school and service, how would I have coped when she starts undergoing pressure to get married? I didnt have anything I could boast of, to enable me marry her.
I got a school girl that I could grow with, that way, I would be capable of marrying her when she graduates. . . .

Dont back out, its karma. until she finishes wth u, ur big head will shrink n then u back out, okay. +smh+ MEN, wat goes around comes around.

@190
I am looking into that, my guy. Thanx

BABE!:

hmmm-- I pity some people sha. **smh**

shurrup and go to the bedroom

let men talk

BABE!:

LMAOO---- hehehe! But your babe needs to look fine for the wedding now--Allow her abeg. Stop being so thrifty. How much did she spend sef that you're shouting asif they stole your Lamborghini? 

Well, Firstly it's called KARMA--- karma is a B1tch. God has dashed you with your wife na niyen. Deal with it.

Secondly, don't even think of dumping her, coz the next one might/will be worse.

I like your first girl, she has a 'strong head' and she knows how to pray very well. What church does she attend? Mountain of fire? 

lol. you are just a wicked gal.

@poster, wouldnt wanna say "na God catch u" cos wat happened can happen to anyone and that's why it's called a MISTAKE.

i will suggest u talk thing ova wit ova with her and see if she would change (that's a long shot though cos u said she's a spoilt brat). All the same, dialogue is power and could solve a lot of problems. But if she's not ready to change, that one na "GOBE" cos if she squandered ur savings b4 settling, den wat would she do if u guys finally settle down? Maybe sell ur properties and travel abroad for facial surgery, tummy-tuck and d rest. Give it some thought dude.

You have said it all that it is karma.I can say that you decided to pick ur new fiancee based on her wealthy family background and left the other who has good personal attributes.Remember that persnal potentials matter a lot than family potential.Your new girl is immature and still proud of her family affluence and you will not respected,hence her excuse to pay back when daddy sent.In life learn not to deceive a lady by promising marriage immediately cos it has consequencies when u pull out with no great reason.If she only squandered money and promise to pay back,it is okay,but if she has other shortcomings,I think you should addressed it before proposing marriage.If u gn ahead to break another heart u will be guilty for the second time.What if ur first girl isn't interested again?Bro go ahead with the marriage and sort things out with the new one.Good luck!

@babe
even if it is 1kobo, it is my hard earned money that I worked and sweated for. Find out how much silk aso-oke is made and you'll know its amount could pay some people's 3 months salary. The money included ones I wanted her to make to surprise our parents with.

Men back out if you cant tolerate her behaviour. You should just thank God you were able to find out before walking down the aisle with her

You have just got a foretaste of what is to come. Some of us in the institution called marriage have seen some things but we thank God.

It is better you saw this now when you can run. Not when it is too late.

RUN FOR YOUR DEAR LIFE!

My brother, you are in trouble o. first is it now you are noticing these things about her? Just when you are about heading for the alter? And why leave so many things into her care? Venue? Caterers etc? Probably you are not resident here so you had to send money. But I guess there are still wedding planners.

Anyway, your woman is a loose cannon. She could suck you dry, not deliberately, but because that is the life she is used to. So if you are complaining now (about sauna and steam baths), then clearly you are not rich enough. Leave her alone. You already said she is spoilt, so except you have the capacity to indulge her excesses or keep her in the comforts she is used to, she is not for you. She will not only ruin you by running bills, she will make you commit suicide. Obviously, her nonchalant attitude tells you she is cavalier about such issues. Today, it is only money for aso ebi. Tommorrow, it could be your shares and stock or your entire wealth, when she manages to kill you.

And dont bother talking to her, she wont change, except through deliverance. And what is the meeting with the family to achieve? Those sort of girls are over pampered, they dont change, they cant change. If you do not provide the money, another man will. And it will take her nothing to have a man broveling to fill in for you. Except the holy spirit, there is nothing you can do about her, even if for, she tell you she has changed.

Don’t go for beauty- cos am quite sure she is a stunner, that is why you have put up with her for so long. Don’t go craving a trophy wife who will kill. If your ex is still available and you still fel the same way for her, go back to her. Don’t leave your wife for another man to come and marry, and more importantly, don’t go and marry another man’s wife. She will dispatch you very prematurely to your maker

OP: You have summarised it. Karma is a bi.t.ch. What goes around come around. Since u couldnt appreciate the 1st gal n had 2 dumped her a.s.s, deal with wat u have now. You suck! I frown at guyz who dnt appreciate good gals.

@BABE!
Stop poking the guy, naughty you! His conscience is doing a nice work of that. Besides, i believe silk aso oke costs an average of 85k per set. 85 times 6 (couple plus 4 parents of bride and groom) isnt a joke, jor oh! BTW, how u doing babe!

@poster
mugu alert!!!
aint u d dude that had the 80k (or thereabouts) brazilian weave wahala with this same babe? U are in T-R-O-U-B-L-E!

@BABE!
Gurl, am doing FYN! Just been alot busy.
Can remember dis dude's girl bought a brazilian weave with his doe that was meant for something else or sum' like that. . .
Anyway, thats that.t
wotsup with d koko mansion plan? Keep safe, gurl!

Laughin real hard
dont stop me o

not read other peoples comments but if its a joint account, i want to believe it will need joint signatures in order for mone to be withdrawn from the account??

i stand to be corrected

If you marry this girl, then you are doomed!!

THE TRUTH IS THAT "MEN PREFER GIRLS THAT GIVE THEM WAHALA". WE DONT LIKE SUBMISSIVE WOMEN WHO WILL EVEN PREPARE A BED FOR YOU AND A BITCH YOU JUST BROUGHT HOME. PERHARPS THERE IS NO FUN IF THERE IS NO CHASE. I DONT KNOW WHY THIS IS SO BUT I BELEIVE WE SHOULD GIVE WOMEN MORE RESPECT ESPECIALLY THE "GOOD ONES".

shanda:

If you marry this girl, then you are doomed!!

If I were this dude, I'd just forget abt d marriage. Shikena! This is a pure case of monkey de work, fine baboon de chop. A hommy like moi cnt cope with such spendsters on my hard earned dough

Don't mind the people yarning dust here who have never been in the position of making a decision of this magnitude.

The fact is that most women go insane when it comes to their wedding day, and sometimes make irrational decisions (to the men). I blame Disney and Cinderella, but that is gist for another day.

The madness is usually temporary, but if she has had the traits since, sorry man, you're going to have a battle on your hands.

What I can advice you to do is to Look at the next 5-10 years of life with her the way she is. If you find the mere thought of it unbearable, it might be best to call off, or for starters, postpone the wedding.

You don't want to spend your future wishing you had had the balls to be a man when it mattered most.

quit now u still got a chance. Nothing is set on stone. Vows have not been exchanged. You might suffer some embarrassment, but it will better in the long run. This is not a case of talking her out of anything, she will not change.

Dont make a mistake will will forever regret, and will eventually have no way out

Change? For where?

Get out now FAST!!!

Otherwise when she suck you finish, the guy next door with the latest would be boning her in your kokoro face.

Get out - Nothing in this world is irreplaceable. Nothing!!!

Offend her family. Ngba yen nko? Let them go to hell do what is good for you !!!

@dollypi,

I totaly disagree with you, spending the entire wedding money on Tura cream, does not sound to me as temporary insanity, this woman loves money and will going into this wedding with the wrong motive.

Ol boy get out now. I was in a similar situation long ago. My case wasnt one of money, but one of someone with very irrational behaviour, I bit he bullet got the initial hot abuse and awkward looks, but with thime things settle down, and I am glad I took that decision then, it saved me a whole lot of trouble. Always look before you leap

^
point of correction, not all the money for the wedding was spent. Just the one he sent her to weave aso-oke!
Overblowing, much?
I dont support what the lady in question did, but lets not pour oil on fire.