₦airaland Forum

Hello all mama's in the house. Dis is Mrs heavy g. Thank you for the suggestions about mababys navel. We are seeing a pediatric surgeon now, after seeing a pediatrician. I will provide update

It seems I was carried away with baby and forgot myself. I was playing around with hubby and we dry humped. I started feeling pains unDer there. Now I took a good look which I haven't since like 5 weeks now and it's like my perineum is opened/healed open. And I got stitches when I delivered o. What happened? I don't know what to do. I'm really scared and angry. I feel a great anger and unforgiveness towards the hospital I had my baby. She was so small. Why all these complications? When women like me have bigger babies without issues. From pile to this. My 2weeks postpartum visit, they never checked it to know if it was healing correctly. Now it is open and I can even see clotted blood there.

Can my vagina ever be normal again? This is 8weeks pp ooo.

I am so locking up if God can save me this time

Help!!!! help!!!

Please help!!

Good afternoon all.
Thanks for the response about my little girls big navel. I am trying to calm.down now and I'm praying it goes back in.

I have another issue. My daughter is bringing up milk every time she feeds. My wife is on exclusive.
She is always uncomfortable and ends up spitting curdled milk. Sometimes the quantity seems like her whole feed. We burp her, keep her upright after eating. No changes yet.
We also asked the paed and he focused on my wife's latch. She has tried all suggestions but it persists.

Now grandma is insisting that we place her on formulae. Because she breast feeds round the clock as whenever the she spits up milk, she wants more milk.
The whole thing is now like a cycle...

PLEASE HELP!

MadameU:
Heavy G, I had a big navel, so did my baby , I was told the hernia story at the hospital, and was informed that they may have to do a corrective procedure on my baby's navel , I simply declined and explained that it runs in the family and it would eventually shrink to normal, several months down the line I have not regretted that decision nor the way I looked the nurse straight in the face to feed her my rant. There's no indication right now that my little one had a huge navel.moral of the story is just chill out!

I wish I could chill and not get a high blood pressure.

Eminya:
I don't know how big your lo's navel is, but my lo's own was also big. As at then, It goes flat when sleeping and the intestines poke out once he is awake or cries or is eating. You can even see how they fill up the extra flesh around the navel. My in-laws scared me but my pead calmed me down. He said there is an opening that is supposed to close up but in some cases it doesn't, when it doesn't close up that is when you have the intestines poking out and making the child uncomfortable. My lo is almost 7 months old and all that is left there is extra skin which I believe will also spread out as he grows. We were lucky his own disappeared. Pls meet a Pead
sorry for my long tori
We also did the hot water massage on lo till the navel healed

Thank you so much for this. God bless you!
Please how did you care for the navel till it went in?

When I help burp her over my shoulder, I can't help but feel I am squashing the navel. She also likes lying flat on my chest. Hope I am not squashing it.

She is very restless which makes us worried I.e. is it her nature or is she in some type of pain due to her navel.
And because she's restless, the navel barely goes in. I just checked now that she's asleep, still out!
Then the ped diagnosed her with colic the first time we saw him (navel was stil inside then). So the constant crying, straining and pushing ensures its out a good 97% of the time.
Please are there any general tips to care for such a condition? Like should her diaper be over or under it. Should we push it in sometimes as recommended by the doc? That is anothrr scary proposition as I do not want to cause any harm.

We still intend seeing the pediatrician when he is around.

AlphaHandMaiden:
Congrats new papa!

I dont know about the hot water massage for hernia but i know they either close up over time or surgery may be needed to close the hole. It can also be very painful for the child when the intestines get caught up in the hernia. Any sudden abdominal movements can cause the intestines to get lodged in the hole so any sneezing, coughing or even laughing sessions can suddenly trigger it and cause pain to your lo.

Why not go speak to your peadiatrician for advice and for them to assess the severity of the hernia so you are not doing more harm than good as these are tender internal organs that dont need to be "man-handled"


As for massaging the navel against stomach / menstrual issues..... that is just an oldwives tale in my opinion. If na so, those of us that grew up with our grandmothers where we were massaged within an inch of our lives with near-scalding water wont have had any issues.

Good luck with your lo.

missmalachi:
Why not take her to the hospital to see a paediatrician so that he can examine her n advise u rightly.
Other sabi papa will come soon n advise u better cos i hv little or no knowledge abt it.

Thank you so much and God bless. We are not massaging the navel because of the hernia. We were massaging it BEFORE the hernia came and when the hernia started, we are now wondering if we should still continue the massage or stop it as the 3 months is not complete yet that the navel was supposed to be massaged.
Though the massage is now scary due to the bulky nature of the navel. That's why we are thinking of stopping the massage.

We saw a doctor as the pediatrician was not around (he has certain days when he comes). The doctor told us the navel is OK and is not strangled. We asked him if we should use the massage but he said we should not until we see the surgeon he referred us to. That we can ask the surgeon.


Please is there any mother who has experience with big navel? Or who has a sister, brother or neighbor with one. Non of the people in my family have one. So we are just scared, we don't want any complications!

New papa here. I salute you all.

My little girl developed umbilical hernia after her cord dropped. As a result, her navel is big and scary looking. I've read so much about it and my question is this.

Where we come from, a child's navel is massaged with hot water or Lantern for three months. This is to allow the navel heal internally and as such, our women don't have issues with stomach ache or menstrual pain etc

I am however afraid to do this for my daughter as her navel is so big and then bulges even more when she cries. Should we keep massaging the navel with hot water as we learnt the umbilical cord site might still be a fresh wound inside.

I don't want her to come to harm if a hot massage is unnecessary but I also don't want her to have stomach issues when she is grown...

Please help me urgently. Thank you.

Sorry I came with a sour post on your sweet thread... But this is my reality...for now.

Royal rumble. Cursing and cussing on both sides. She even cussed at me with the unborn baby.
Plus she just tore my singlet I had on, just because I did something which I don't see as anything and so I am outside now, smoking and thinking about my life.

We don't pray together, even though she is a good cook, home cooked food is a rare occurrence, no laundry. She takes her job as her best friend. She does not confide in me.

If she hates me so much, why did she marry me?

And we are not even a year....

And she is normally very calm and gentle. Or at least she used to be. Not because I wanted to marry her. But that was her person. Now I don't know anymore....

@hotstepper
You are the business! Saw the pic too...

MarvellousGod:
There are lots of sex lubricants, just hit a pharmacy. ...

Some people use vaseline, shear butter, coconut oil, olive oil, water, etc as lubricants, just anything to make the vagi*a soft/moist.. This eases penetration and relives the lady of pain... But you really won't need lubricants if you get naturally wet easily...

I really hope you and heavyg ain't pulling our legs here

Nahhh. Just last week I was talking about my trad yams. You can see our nairaland histories....
I was also shocked seeing our similar stories. But when you dig deep just the basic problem remains through same, the circumstances surrounding us is not so similar....

MarvellousGod:
@heavyg, I was going to suggest lubricants but seeing you've tried that, I really don't know what else to say.. I'll suggest you penetrate as gentle as you can and yes your wife should feel pains but if the pains she feels are extraordinary, then you may hv to see a doctor. ... All d best, just be strong it's only for a while ok?

Also, the mind has a huge part to play at enjoying sex, you really have to be free minded if you are to enjoy sex..

Ehhh, if you're ever going to finger her, please be sure your nails are cut and your fingers extra neat....

Thanks ma'am. I appreciate your advice....

ttymyluv:
Heavyg we have similar Challenge. I and hubby arent into any argument. He is so loving. . REGARDS!

Hi dear.
That this has caused arguments does not mean I am any less loving. Remember We all respond to the same things different ways, due to our various experiences and backgrounds.

I love my wife and I am a little bit frustrated that I am unable to share this in the most intimate way possible.
Especially after wait before marriage.
Hope you and your husband find a resolution very soon. Take care.

gleatz:
Waoh what a coincidence @ttymyluv & @heavyg. Or are you guys reffereing to the same person?

I think both patners needs the help of a sex therapist and if you can't acess one. Why not try and be patient with each other and remove this aura of fear around you guys.

The guy should give room for more of pre-intimacy, while d babe is readily open to receive this intimacies. Remove whatever notion(wrong) you ve heard/seen abt sex in the past from your head @ d moment, after all you guys are married now. Start seeing the good aspect of sex in marriage and desire them. This is no sin now so enjoy it. The pain is there cos she is not adequately stimulated.

And for the guys in this picture, I learnt something long ago, that is anytime the clarion call for love making arises, your motive should be to satisfy your spouse and not majorly your own enjoyment, by so doing, you would be patient with her and be ready to do all that will make her happy and by so doing, she would respond in the positive and in turn satisfy you and everybody will be happy.

Its a gradual process, don't expect a swift result. Read books too if you can.

I hope I was able to help a bit. All the bes

Can't be the same person Because while ttymyluv and hubby are virgins, I am not one, just my wife.

I try to prolong pre-intimacy and do whatever she wants. I was using vaseline before she suggested lubricant, that one of her friends who got married as a virgin told her. So off I went to get it that same evening.

I also gave head, just to get her excited.

Thanks for your input. Really appreciate.

ttymyluv:
i am a follower of this thread since it started. i have posted herr before about I and Fiance then.. Now we are married both virgin. its over one week now but we do not know How to have sex. Hubby camt penetrate at all i feel too much pain and i am not aroused at all despite pre-intimacy. i am always scared whenver we want yo try cos i feel we do not get the spot. Hubby p***.s head didny enter at all. Infact i am noy enjoying anything about sex. i dont feel nothing while smooching. we love each other buy i am disturbed. He enjoys it a little but i do not. PLEASE I NEED GUIDANCE. Thank you..

Gademit!

I have been using my friends profile for some weeks now. It was very helpful.Thanks to those who answered my question the last time. I'm back again.

Been married a little over a week now, But have been unable to penetrate my wife/have sex.
We bought lubricant, We've had lots of pre-intimacy. None has worked.
She screams and grabs my hand when I try to penetrate her. Or she grabs my dik. She complains that I am hurting her perineum and I'm not aiming for the right place.

Even when her legs are open, feels like theres an iron door closed over her vagina. I try and I try and the most I've done is get the cap of my p in somewhat.
I've told her to allow me use my hand in creating an entry, but she refused and said she has a phobia for fingering But doesn't know why.

Is this How hard it is to deflower a woman or should I be worried....


P.S. We've started having arguments over this.

^
Thank you.

I'm actually worried. I've put in alot of work/stress into this. Don't want to be made a laughing stock.

Also, is there need to put really expensive clothing materials in her bridal box. Will the box be inspected? My folks have told me not to worry.
But I don't know What happens in her tribe....

I asked a family friend to help me purchase the yams
Which make up the dowry I will be presenting to my wife's
people.
I later found out that the yams are normal sized and
sinewy. Does this matter? As in does the size matter?
Though the number of yams they asked for is twice the
normal amount because of their culture...

Im asking because I wouldn't want to be disgraced on that day.

Please leave this in family section as I don't want my thread ridiculed on front page.

I asked a family friend to help me purchase the yams Which make up the dowry I will be presenting to my wife's people.

I later found out that the yams are normal sized and sinewy. Does this matter? As in does the size matter?

Though the number of yams they asked for is twice the normal amount because of their culture...

^^
I know your type. And I also know How to deal with your type. Oh, you were not a silly mofo when you came online trying to ask if you could make babies with her, huh?

You better back off my thread else you will have a glimpse of that temper you've bee talking about.

ademotors166: Below is the thread I created because of the 'age issue'...... When the thread got heated I deleted my posts, but you can read other peoples comment and maybe have an idea....
www.nairaland.com/1421162/marriage
OPs story is more than a Coincidence no matter how anonymous NL is.
NB
Can someone go through the threads created by OP, and come back to tell me how I am even remotely connected to this guy? This is a confused guy for God's sake....

Are you high? Who is confused? Look here, don't insult me. I find it insultive enough being mistaken for you. What do you do Anyways? Sell used cars? Better recognize class when you see it Because I am not your mate in any way.

@ademotors

It is not yet time to shout victory. Afterall, you are not yet married, are you? If only She would allow me see her, I know I can make her see reasons we can be good together.

And don't dare bring my mum into this, OK? Yes, I told my mum to plead with her on my behalf. But my mum has Since decided to wash her hands off the whole issue when She saw She wasn't getting results. What's this bull story of my mum inviting her?

Please show her this thread. Maybe It's just what She needs to see I love and care for her alot.

^^
What is wrong with my statement?

She turns thirty this year. So you lot wouldn't mind her being single, huh? To prove what point exactly?

I have tried apologizing. Moreover, this happened nearly three years ago. No need trying to bite off my head.

Thanks for all your answers and suggestions.

As to your question, I'll answer the best way I can.

Just like I said, there was a big fight in January. I sincerely begged for her forgiveness and we all moved on or so I thought. However, things were not the way they used to be. Before, if there was a place She was travelling to, she'd tell me. She let me know what She was doing per time. We'd have fights and make up and things would go back the way they were. It was a long distance relationship

After this fight however, even though She said she'd forgiven me, She was acting cold. sometimes I'd call and She would tell me She was in another state for a wedding. Yet, She didn't make any attempt to visit me. I was practically begging for her visit.

One day, I was forced to ask her why She was acting like this. That before, She used to tell me everything. She answered that it was better this way as I Never appreciated her openness.

I didn't say anything. So around April, when I saw that things did not change, I called her. I told her to let me know if She was in it for the long term. I want to get married But How do you propose to a cold, ever absent girlfriend? So I asked her not to waste my time, would She marry me or not?

She answered that I would have to change, that is the only way she'd marry me.

I told her there wasn't going to be any change that She would have to take Me as I am. At that time, working in one of the foremost Nigerian oil companies, I knew How many girls would give a finger to have me. Single, handsome guy with no responsibilities.


That was when she told me that in that case, She can't marry Me.

I angrily thanked her for wasting my time and dropped. After thinking things over, I called her severally that same night. I was ready to make things work and had talked out of anger and arrogance. But She Never picked. Up till today.

Good day all.

I started dating her in 09. I began talking marriage late 2010. I even broached the topic of her getting pregnant for me.

We had a bad fight January '11. We were trying to patch things up slowly when sometime around April we got talking on phone. I made a statement and then She told me She can Never marry me.

Since that day till this moment, She stopped taking my calls, She cut off all Contact. All efforts to reach her were met with silence.

I decided to move on.

But after some relationships, I realised I needed her back. I traced someone whom I felt could plead with her. This person wouldn't give me any info about her But I deduced from our conversation that my ex girlfriend was still single.

But what surprises me is the fact that at her age, She prefers to remain single than to come back to me. She doesnt even want to hear anything about me. This is a girl I loved so much. Am I so bad? This is 2014 and I need to get settled. I might just go for the available one, Since the desired is unavailable.

You people are just descending on my head for Nothing. My sister is educated and she's always been tops in class Since when She was small. She's a decent, pretty girl.

Everybody talks like It's so easy to break even in naija. what type of graduate will even pick up security job sef
I just don't want her to suffer. And I shouldn't be castigated for that Because There's nobody's sister suffering in my house.

It all started the first time I saw a fluffy toy with my sister. Then I would see a love note here, a missed call there. I would see book gifts that had words written on it, all from the same guy. Later, when my sister was having a hard time at work, I used to hear her talking on the phone and from the response, it was obvious the guy was encouraging her. All these pointed to the fact that some chivalrous gentleman was showing some interest in my darling sister.

My sister has not been so lucky in love. She dated a guy who was abusive and really dealt with her, which is really painful as she's the most loving girl any guy can have.

Later, I got to know this new guy from her Facebook. He seemed decent enough. And then later I was utterly shocked to see him working as a security man at a bank.

I feel so disappointed in my sis. Is that the best She can do? Can't she get a decent man with a decent job? Must it be abusive man+ good job or good man+security job? I understand that he is loving. But, there are loving bankers out there, not the bank security guard.

Guys, I just want you to put yourself in my shoes. I can't even process that she's actually thinking of marrying this guy.

n.b
I'm surprised at all the castigation. you people should walk in my shoe to know How it pinches.

What is all the hulabaloo when there is no scientific proof of it's efficacy. And Nigerians have jumped on the bandwagon to start sales. It is being touted as a miracle drug and quite expensive too. Please you people should rather explain how it works, how much it costs, the quantity usually needed for a cure and the duration it should be taken for a cure!
There are too many quacks around.

What is all the hulabaloo when there is no scientific proof of it's efficacy. And Nigerians have jumped on the bandwagon to start sales. It is being touted as a miracle drug and quite expensive too. Please you people should rather explain how it works, how much it costs, the quantity usually needed for a cure and the duration it should be taken for a cure!
There are too many quacks around.

What is all the hulabaloo when there is no scientific proof of it's efficacy. And Nigerians have jumped on the bandwagon to start sales. It is being touted as a miracle drug and quite expensive too. Please you people should rather explain how it works, how much it costs, the quantity usually needed for a cure and the duration it should be taken for a cure!
There are too many quacks around.

^^alright then. Thanks 2 all Nairalanders. Events are unfolding, will soon bring up the latest update.