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Heffem's Posts

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Autos / Re: Clean First Body Registered 2003 Lexus Rx300 by heffem(m): 10:10pm On Sep 18
2006 bawo? This is 1999 model, and mind you rx300 ends in 2003 model..
Foreign Affairs / Re: Comoros President Assoumani Wounded In Knife Attack by heffem(m): 11:19am On Sep 14
chudez0147:

I know. I think the club belongs to Micheal Essien
. Really? I thought Thierry Henry and Fabregas are share holders or something. Lemme visit a friend called google right away.
Foreign Affairs / Re: Comoros President Assoumani Wounded In Knife Attack by heffem(m): 10:28pm On Sep 13
chudez0147:
Comoros , are they the owner of como Calcio ??
Nope.... The former is a country in East Africa or so while the former is a club in Italy
Health / Re: Men, Do You Bathe Before Going To Bed Everyday? by heffem(m): 8:21am On Sep 13
NwaAmaikpe:
shocked




God forbid that I bathe every day, let alone every night. I do not mind losing everything in the world but not my body odor.

Just like male goats, God created men to have an odour. It is unique to each man, some smell like carbide and some like garlic. Why do I need a Cerruti aftershave when mine is somewhat like fermented citrus.

Most ladies get aroused just by offensive smell, that's why smokers and alcohol drinkers have more female sex partners.
A handsome man may not be noticed, but a man who smells is the object of women's attention.

How can you call yourself a dimkpa if you do not smell like one.

Asides that, research has proven that too much of bathing is unhealthy; asides depleting the top skin, it increases aerosol transmission of bacteria and there could be interference of the chemicals in the soap with the Vitamin D reserves in the adipose layer.
NwaAmaikpe....
Normal normal, you dey go for medical and mental check-ups?

1 Like

Politics / Re: Guber Poll: This State Will Burn If Ighodalo Is Not Declared Winner – NLC Chair by heffem(m): 2:55pm On Sep 11
Seun and his mods are green snakes... If you know, you know

2 Likes

Politics / Re: Guber Poll: This State Will Burn If Ighodalo Is Not Declared Winner – NLC Chair by heffem(m): 2:52pm On Sep 11
EvilMerodack:
sad

PDP is the worst thing to ever happen to this country

They corrupted the system so bad that they indirectly taught every other groups, parties and people how to cheat and still publicly brag about it


PDP isnt even in power, yet they still successfully turned NLC into one of their wing-men.
You seems to be jumping on every thread supporting all manners of evil bro. Like someone said earlier, this your new job still dey shark you. You go soon tire.


This statement from the NLC guy is very undemocratic
Family / Re: Should A Man Love His Wife More Than His Mom? by heffem(m): 10:35pm On Sep 10
Yeah ...I will always love my mom and treat her well.
But that doesn't mean she'd come into my house to tell us how we need to do our thing.....she got married to someone (my dad), for crying out loud, so staying in her husband house won't hurt her I guess
Politics / Re: NULGE Chairman Slumps, Dies On Fuel Queue In Akure by heffem(m): 6:01pm On Sep 10
princeade86:
U can imagine. Their chairman for that matter
Not their chairman. It NULGE not NUPENG
Romance / Re: Lady Shares Her Much Older Lover, Sparks Mixed Reactions Online (photos & Video) by heffem(m): 10:12am On Sep 10
NwaAmaikpe:
shocked



I can only wish him well.
Except a man is lucky to have genital warts or skin lesions round his preek to help optimal vaginal stimulation, I will not advice someone this old to venture into a relationship with someone this young; because,
She will cheat on him, it is not her fault.
He will not satisfy her, it is not his fault either.


Welcome back bro! Nairaland misses you. Meanwhile, the empty headed mods here dey beef your doings. No mind them

Anyone who has been unfortunately lucky to have shagged a lady not older than 62, older than 35 but not younger than 19 will have noticed a fundamental flaw; that it is almost impossible for them to achieve orgasm from the thrusting of a preek due to the use and abuse of sex toýs and female masturbation in recent years.

While a preek in action can only produce linear motion, the linear, oscillatory, circular and accelerated motion that can only be achieved from sex toyś, proximal digits and oraI sex has rewired and irredeemably altered the presypnaptic terminals inside women's kpekus due to an overload of impulse and the female brain was not originally designed to withstand such arousal overload.

Now, just thrusting a preek in and out of them is totally inadequate to trigger kpekus axons to relay any neurotransmitters to the brain, therefore the brain gets no message to release the hormone dopamine responsible for orgasms.

This is the reason why 74% of all sexually active women between 58 and 18years have not attained orgasm more than thrice in five years from only penetrative sex.
Same reason why 39.76% of Nigerian women are bisexual.

It is also why it seems women lose interest in sex after marriage and childbirth; simply because, there is nothing for them in it again!
If only men knew what's on women's mind as we hump them, we wouldn't even bother.

This sad discovery made scientists around the world brainstorm for exactly 8years, 6months, 23days and 9hours on how to assist men in bringing pleasure to women during sex. This birthed dotted and ribbed condoms.

Ever asked yourself why most ladies hate condoms yet all ladies love dotted and ribbed ones?

Because, while the man does his routine back-and-forth, in-and-out, the ribs and dots on the condom helps with a 360° stimulation of the kpekus; sadly this additional stimulation will not still bring about orgasm in many due to extreme impairment of vaginal axons and sensory nerve fibers but may only increase arousal due to production of acetylcholine.

Women now crave more for external attention, and their propensity for cheating is higher; because that thrill from a novel attention also releases acetylcholone and dopamine.

Reason why, even though she knows it may not be, women will always think the sex is better almost every time she cheats on her husband; because technically, a woman can "climax" just from receiving constant compliments from a new man.

The moral of this warped write-up is that,
cheating will never stop.
He may have to mess up his bedspread with KY jelly, but a text from a new admirer she fancies will get her wet.

If you doubt me; ask your woman.
Romance / Re: Lady Shares Her Much Older Lover, Sparks Mixed Reactions Online (photos & Video) by heffem(m): 10:08am On Sep 10
NwaAmaikpe:
shocked



I can only wish him well.
Except a man is lucky to have genital warts or skin lesions round his preek to help optimal vaginal stimulation, I will not advice someone this old to venture into a relationship with someone this young; because,
She will cheat on him, it is not her fault.
He will not satisfy her, it is not his fault either.




Welcome back bro! Nairaland misses you. Meanwhile, na God go punish person wey ban you in the first place. The person dey jealous your doings

Anyone who has been unfortunately lucky to have shagged a lady not older than 62, older than 35 but not younger than 19 will have noticed a fundamental flaw; that it is almost impossible for them to achieve orgasm from the thrusting of a preek due to the use and abuse of sex toýs and female masturbation in recent years.

While a preek in action can only produce linear motion, the linear, oscillatory, circular and accelerated motion that can only be achieved from sex toyś, proximal digits and oraI sex has rewired and irredeemably altered the presypnaptic terminals inside women's kpekus due to an overload of impulse and the female brain was not originally designed to withstand such arousal overload.

Now, just thrusting a preek in and out of them is totally inadequate to trigger kpekus axons to relay any neurotransmitters to the brain, therefore the brain gets no message to release the hormone dopamine responsible for orgasms.

This is the reason why 74% of all sexually active women between 58 and 18years have not attained orgasm more than thrice in five years from only penetrative sex.
Same reason why 39.76% of Nigerian women are bisexual.

It is also why it seems women lose interest in sex after marriage and childbirth; simply because, there is nothing for them in it again!
If only men knew what's on women's mind as we hump them, we wouldn't even bother.

This sad discovery made scientists around the world brainstorm for exactly 8years, 6months, 23days and 9hours on how to assist men in bringing pleasure to women during sex. This birthed dotted and ribbed condoms.

Ever asked yourself why most ladies hate condoms yet all ladies love dotted and ribbed ones?

Because, while the man does his routine back-and-forth, in-and-out, the ribs and dots on the condom helps with a 360° stimulation of the kpekus; sadly this additional stimulation will not still bring about orgasm in many due to extreme impairment of vaginal axons and sensory nerve fibers but may only increase arousal due to production of acetylcholine.

Women now crave more for external attention, and their propensity for cheating is higher; because that thrill from a novel attention also releases acetylcholone and dopamine.

Reason why, even though she knows it may not be, women will always think the sex is better almost every time she cheats on her husband; because technically, a woman can "climax" just from receiving constant compliments from a new man.

The moral of this warped write-up is that,
cheating will never stop.
He may have to mess up his bedspread with KY jelly, but a text from a new admirer she fancies will get her wet.

If you doubt me; ask your woman.
Politics / Re: Barely 2 Years In Office, Tinubu's Staunch Supporter Becomes "Wailer" (DEBUNKED) by heffem(m): 5:57pm On Sep 09
For long, I'm yet to see the word "my darling daddy" from that dead meat griller. I hope he is safe and sound?

7 Likes 1 Share

Politics / Re: Why Ajaero Was Arrested by heffem(m): 3:55pm On Sep 09
augustine77:
President of Nigeria Labour Congress (NLC) Comrade Joe Ajaero was on Monday morning arrested by officers of the Department of State Services (DSS) because he failed to honour an invitation by the agency sources have revealed.

DSS sources said that they had invited Ajaero last week. The invitation, it was gathered, had to do with a petition by some top NLC leaders against Ajaero, and that certain aspects of the petition bordered on national security.

"You know that our new DG (Director-General), Mr. Oluwatosin Ajayi resumed duty less than two weeks ago. This was one of the petitions he inherited. He insisted that we invite the NLC president to clear the air on some of the allegations.," explained the source.

"Last week, we invited him (Ajaero) through the normal channel, which is on the telephone. A very senior director extended the invitation, and was mandated to handle the investigation.

"Ajaero promised to come today, Monday. The next thing we heard was that Ajaero was sighted at the Nnamdi Azikiwe International Airport, Abuja, trying to board an international flight.


"No responsible security organization will fold its hands in the face of such contempt. The law setting up the DSS empowers us to defend Nigeria against domestic threats, to uphold and enforce the criminal laws of Nigeria, and to provide leadership and criminal justice services to federal and state law-enforcement organs.

"This, we have done over the decades without fear or favour. We often praise the CIA in the United States for operating without fear or favour. See the way former President Donald Trump is being dragged around, even though he has the chances of returning as president.

"We must learn to live within the ambit of the law, including honouring invitation by security agencies. I'm sure he'll be released after he clears the air on the allegations against him by some of his colleague-officers in the NLC," assured the officer.
Eku ise. But can you also extend and channel same energy to the North Eastern part of Nigeria? We want to check something

13 Likes

Events / Re: How Nigerian Kids Celebrated Birthdays In The 70s And 80s (Throwback Photo) by heffem(m): 3:07pm On Sep 09
moscobabs:


I celebrated when I was 29 and 40. I celebrated my birthday just twice
That's the difference between we (guys) and these ladies....who would go any length to be noticed.
Events / Re: How Nigerian Kids Celebrated Birthdays In The 70s And 80s (Throwback Photo) by heffem(m): 2:47pm On Sep 09
moscobabs:
Rich man kid bi dat, I celebrate my first birthday when I was 29 and second one when I clocked 40. 😊
. 29 and almost 40? Wetin happen? You no dey around?

1 Like

Politics / Re: 'Tinubu May Not Last Till December 2024' - Kemi Olunloyo by heffem(m): 9:51am On Sep 09
trutharena:
Kemi is a clown.
No...she is not. Do you know I believe her most times than our pastors?

1 Like

Crime / Re: 20-Year-Old Man Killed In Cold-Blood In Lagos by heffem(m): 9:46am On Sep 09
Meedon:


But the Holy books says so
Interesting......let's not go into details. Enjoy your day bro

1 Like 1 Share

Crime / Re: 20-Year-Old Man Killed In Cold-Blood In Lagos by heffem(m): 9:14am On Sep 09
Meedon:


Grant him access to heaven.
bro, so you also believe in this heaven and hell thing? I thought it all ends here
Crime / Re: 20-Year-Old Man Killed In Cold-Blood In Lagos by heffem(m): 8:58am On Sep 09
Meedon:
God bless the dead
. How?
Politics / Re: 98 Checkpoints Exist In Southeast, Extortion Common - Igbo National Council by heffem(m): 3:17pm On Sep 01
vanbonattel:
Onitsha to Enugu express security checkpoints

1. Awkuzu Junction army
2. Awkuzu Junction FRSC
2. Dunukofia LG hqts police
3. Enugu ukwu Junction police
4. Amawbia Junction police
5. Unizik Junction army
6. Mopol base Awka Junction police
7. Prince and Princess hostel front army

8. Amansea boundary police
9. Ugwuoba boundary police
10. Ugwuoba bridge police team
11. Ugwuoba Junction army
12. Ugwuoba Junction NDLEA
13. Ugwuoba Junction FRSC
14. Ugwuoba Central army
15. Oji river Junction army 1
16. Oji River Junction army 2
17. Ezeagu express army
18. Near Nkwo ezeagu police
19. Near tiles factory police
20. Umumba Ndiuno express police 1
21. Umumba Ndiuno express police 2
22. Nsude express (approach to ninth mile) police
23. Ngwo express army
24. Ngwo express anti terror squad
25. Onyeama Hill (near refuse dump) army
26. Onyeama Hill (near coal mine) army
27. Abakpa interchange police
28. Abakpa Junction FRSC

This is what a traveller moving just 105 KM from Onitsha to Enugu will endure. A checkpoint after ever 3.7 km.

Are we at war? grin

....ol' boy
....you be Google map?

2 Likes

Politics / Re: Buying Presidential Jet While Nigerians Go Hungry Is Failue - Donald Duke by heffem(m): 6:10am On Aug 31
post=131775601:
Seconded.

There is time for everything in the society and life generally.

A better Nigeria 🇳🇬 for all citizens is all we want at MANNA,
We are not asking for much.

We Rise ✔️
... You really don't have an iota of shame. All well and good, you're coming back to your senses gradually

1 Like

Autos / 2013 Model Toyota Camry by heffem(m): 5:14pm On Aug 27
Extremely clean 2013 model Toyota Camry XLE
Lagos cleared with complete custom papers
N14m
0809398436

Religion / Re: Man Dies While Undergoing 19 Days Dry Fast In Lagos by heffem(m): 8:42am On Aug 21
Absuchat:
angry grin
Prayers answered instantly.
Straight to heaven
which Heaven?
Travel / Re: With A Train Every 18 Minutes, It’s Bye-Bye Cars, Hello Lagos Blue Line by heffem(m): 8:36am On Aug 21
CluelessOMOnile:
Mad people

European Football (EPL, UEFA, La Liga) / Re: Chelsea Vs Manchester City (0 - 2) On 18th August 2024 by heffem(m): 6:25am On Aug 19
stacyadams:

Yeah he is....always supporting dead non livng things reason y he grills dead vultures,dead rats and dead rabbits
. Then, he must be going thru a lot secretly.
European Football (EPL, UEFA, La Liga) / Re: Chelsea Vs Manchester City (0 - 2) On 18th August 2024 by heffem(m): 7:35pm On Aug 18
stacyadams:
grin master and apprentice grin



Same old story grin grin

They go blame apprentice coach grin

As usual that clown that grills dead rabbit always supporting failures grin
Oh, is he a Chelsea fan?

1 Like

Politics / Re: Soldiers Enforcing Curfew In Bauchi Open Fire On Residents, Kill 5, Injure 8 by heffem(m): 9:17pm On Aug 07
I observed that people like helinues, chinkoalhaji, salewa97 and a host of others do avoid threads that doesn't go well with Tinubu and his cohorts....... Why is it so?

1 Like

Politics / Re: Queues Spread As Petrol Hits ₦‎1,100/Litre In Abuja, Others by heffem(m): 8:19am On Jul 09
Bonarotti22:
If you think things will change for the better in Nigeria, gather here make I pray for you.
...wait a minute, there's someone who has been avoiding threads here that needs your prayers....a rotten meat griller. It's been long we heard him called "my darling daddy"....oloriburuku guy

4 Likes

Religion / Re: Should Church Workers Confess To Church Authority When They Fall In Fornication? by heffem(m): 10:52am On Jul 07
Mumu question
Islam for Muslims / Re: What Is The Cost Of ILEYA Ram/cow In Your Area? by heffem(m): 8:04pm On Jun 15
santaclaws:


But it's not the same in the Christian section... People would gladly comment on Christian post but Muslims are given preferential treatment on Nairaland. . .
.. that shows the type of person Seun is......that guy ways no straight at all

5 Likes

Politics / Re: Strike: Entry Points Leading To The Domestic Wing Of Lagos Airport Shut by heffem(m): 8:22am On Jun 03
Otamendi99:


D kind of inflation weh go happen if finally na 400k. Una no go fit carry am. Wetin go do private sector workers. Abi dia own goods go dey different.
...that's what most people are not seeing my brother.
Business / Re: Nigeria’s Neighbours Reject Naira, Opt For CFA, Dollars by heffem(m): 11:26pm On May 11
Op, Buhari govt shut land borders at Badagry, Idiroko......starting from 1st January, 2017 tio date, and not 2019 as stated. Naija is so corrupt that, even when you get to ECOWAS building at Seme border, you only see naija security outfits, looking for mugus to devour, their counterparts from Benin republic had to leave the space and move to the last gate(frontier) leading to their land

4 Likes 1 Share

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