₦airaland Forum

People hardly change. Once people have formed a personality, it is very difficult for that personality to change. Both men and women.

This is why once a ol.ohso is always an ol.osho.

Diamond098454:
I totally disagree with you
Many women are not like that.

You are free to disagree or agree but the fact remains the same.

It's all over the internet, it's in our private lifes. All experienced married people know it's true. All wise people both men and women know this.

This is why many wise people don't just run with women accusations or crying without hearing from the man before judging the man.

AND it's part of the innate nature of women being manipulative.

A recent public example is Tonto and her ex husband.

coputa:
How old are you, this piece is not for children,for matured mind only.

That number 2 cannot be avoided Sha. All of them don't forget the bad a man did to them but they quickly forget his goods

They only remember 2 things about a man. The bad he did to them and the good they did to him.

Not true. Men control marriages just like women control access to sex.

If marriages are declining, it's because men are no longer offering it like before.

Same had happened and still happening in western countries. Men are less interested in marriages because they can get all marriages benefits from a woman without marrying her today.

Though what drives the decline of marriages in western countries is because men have no equal rights in family courts as women while in Nigeria, the economy is driving the decline.

The first problem I see is inadequate finances for your family.

To work on this, you will need to have cooperation of your girlfriend. Both of you MUST be willing to put in the work. Both of you must look for work or business to be doing to provide for your family. Your finances alone cannot do it at this point. Hopefully your girlfriend is an understanding one that will work with you.

Sit her down, have heart to heart discussion with her about this.

If she is not willing to work with you on this, you can separate like Kobo mentioned above.

Her background is another issue but finance is first key to address. Even with another woman with better background, you will still have same problem with her if your finances are inadequate for a family.

After she had seen that her market is getting to evening and boys are no longer pricing like before.

Hope all toxic feminists are taking notes.

Now she is humbled.

Kunle should keep her as babe number 4 or 5 if he knows his worth. If kpokpogiri and many other div.ks outside had given her better offer, she will not be back "in the name of her lord".

Where are her comrades toxic feminists

Your king has been humbled ooooo. She is now a side piece to Kunle after many boys had sampled her and dumped her.

All of you will learn in a hard way.

She is not sexually attracted to your friends but she is attracted to his pockets.

Other men she was sexually attracted to, might not have finances, or not into her too.

Your friend should never take her serious because she obviously doesn't love him. He can just keep her as conji killing tool from now on.

She is also just using his provisions to pass time while waiting for a better offer that she is sexually attracted to.

Only married or previously married men know why God didn't make himself a woman and why Jesus never had a romantic girlfriend or a wife.

God and Jesus know that gender more than men.

A woman heart can NEVER be satisfied. Know this and have peace.

Even God couldn't satisfy woman in garden of eden. Is it only an ordinary human that will satisfy her

Taiwo20:
Why is he gay?

He behaved like one here. That girl gave him all the green lights in the world that she wanted to fu.rxk and he did not fi.rk her.

Hmm. I have seen similar case before. The woman hated the man to the extent of transferring the hatred to her own children. Meanwhile she was the trouble maker in the marriage.

You better run for your life. People without a mother are still living life.

She had shown you over the years who she is. Run before she kpai you, maybe like she did to your father.

They will chop and chop her. I am talking from experience here.

Even if men are not trying, she will go and look for the gb.ola by herself, most especially if she is posted very far from home.

I saw alot during my service year in far northeast and I equally participated. I k.nacked tire.

Coming back to you after is 50/50. It depends only if she never meet a better offer. BUT be rest assured, she will be kn.cked

By force to have a child for a rich and famous man. Hypergamy is hustle

FlamingBulb:
Thanks..I planned on 1kid from unset but family pressure and advice..Naso God dash me twins hahahaha

Back to you oga. That income is very low for a family of 5. You and your wife should look for how to improve the family income.

She can take up some jobs or business if she is currently not working. You also can look for other side hustle to do.

That's your first point of action. Every other things will come in place with more money. All these rationing of budgets you are looking for advise on are secondary.

The logical thing to do here is to know which of the parent is best suited to bring in the most earnings into the family.

That parent goes out and work while the other person stays at home to raise the kids.

Caaz:
Thank you Kobojunkie... The woman is always the sacrificial lamb that bears the end result.

Sometimes I just laugh how you people emotionally react and give advise.

So if the parent that needs to go and hustle must do construction labor work, go into the market to be carrying loads for market people or do other hard work to provide for the family, who is more physically capable to do such hustle?? Is it the woman??

Man and woman are not equal. The main thing is to utilize each other's strengths and complement each other weaknesses.

Rhymesy:
Naijalanders, what is really going on?

See question oooo. Nothing is going on.

Are you a gay?

plsdisvirginme:
She don finally block me everywhere because I refused to give am 30k.
No problem.
She think she will run away with money.
The girl that was living in a public house with toilet.
She had infection.
Spent close to 100k plus to get her treated.
Because of this
I rented self contain for her , bought gen , tv and furnish her house.
Open fashion shop for her.
All these under one year.
The same She that cripple my own charging shop.
She think she can go free.

Have you learned a lesson here

stacyadams:
6 are you of the opinion akata gehs are to be avoided ?
7 how una dey take toast woman for here i .

6. My opinion is that you should avoid uneducated akata girls, they are in their own world. Educated akata are better.

7. You meet women and form friendship. If she is interested and likes you, she will respond. The only caveats here is that date girls in your economic class or higher. I can't over emphasize that. Or better still, f.irk only women in lower class and be serious with those in your class or higher. This is because of family laws here. That's a big topic for another day.

AND understand what sexual harassment and other similar offenses are and be very careful while dating. You will not run into women problems in America. Amen.

stacyadams:
1..as a minimum wage earner how long should one do the job before moving to other things?
3what career is okay to look into,?
4 i opened an account with BOA,I i never pick up my CC yet..can you expentiate on how to build cc..between BOA and credit union which is better to bank with?
5 how long is cool to stay with your host before finding your way to avoid overstaying ur welcome?
6 are you of the opinion akata gehs are to be avoided ?
7 how una dey take toast woman for here i .

1. If you can, don't stay beyond the time you are using to get more certificate or qualifications for a better job. The more you stay, the more it's becoming your career in the system and more difficult to switch later.

2. That depends on your background and your resolute to explore other fields. There's medical, IT, and many other fields.

4. Regular brick and wall banks like BoA has many charges and offer poor rates compared Credit Unions. Credit unions have fewer locations in case you have business to do in banking hall. For me, I prefer Credit union for most of my banking business and only keep Regular bank for only the purchase of more branches.

To build Credit score, you should get your first CC from any bank or credit union, use it to buy things and MAKE SURE you pay it as soon as it shows up on the account. Leave a very small amount in there unpaid say less than 50 dollars by the last day of the month. So that the system can see that you are using it because it's the last day of month balance that is captured by the credit bureau. If you do this over 6 month to 1 year, your credit score will go up.

TrainPark:
Ok, I get your point.
The hubby is a civil servant and she teaches in a private school

1. Make sure your wife is informed before you do such thing so that you don't end up scattering your home.

2. Don't start what you cannot finish. If care is not taken, you are gradually going to adopt a new family financial burden

Nahimm:
I’m still on the WhatsApp

Make sure you don’t initiate any action like chat, delete or anything at all so that she will not suspect.

2. Whatever you are seeing there, DON'T use it to talk or react to her or anyone so that she will not suspect

3. Keep screenshot of any evidence from the WhatsApp.

4. You will need patience on that WhatsApp. It might take months before you see anything important. Don't be in a hurry.

Nahimm:
I recently cl@ned her WhatsApp to see if there’s something going on with her that i need to know and I discovered this contact that has disappearing messages turned on. No chat history but he messaged recently so I saw it and my attention was drawn to the picture of the guy. I searched deeper on other social media platforms to see the guys pictures and my baby has about 85% resemblance with this guy, bald head, open teeth, V chin shap, and one wrinkle line when she smiles, unlike me, I have full hair on my head, my chin is oval or U shaped.
This guy stays at a place she occasionally goes to for business purposes.
I feel very helpless now, I just need to do a DNA test
I asked for the cost and it’s around 1.3m
I don’t have any money now.
The thing is really disturbing me.

I said it. That woman didn't love you. You were just a plug-in and your usefulness to her is over. Dig more on her relationship with that guy.

Are you still on the WhatsApp? Or is it disconnected?

O boy. Go and face your studies. You can reject advance of any girl. DON'T FEEL SORRY ABOUT IT.

They do same to many boys everywhere evertytime and they don't feel sorry about it.

Forget it and enjoy your life.

Only a good woman deserves a good man.

If no good man has found her at 48years, that means she is not a good woman.

Western and Israeli propaganda.

Don't fall for it.

They are just publishing manufactured figures across different western news media with no proof.

Most likely, the west is the one that orchestred this protest and fanning it.

Nahimm:
We dated for a short period—about three months—before she became pregnant.

I was almost done with my own part-time program and was hopeful that completing it would help me secure a better job.

Because of the pregnancy and the need to be married before the baby was born, we opted for a court wedding.

My wife comes from a family where her parents are separated. we experienced frequent misunderstandings. She was often unhappy, easily provoked, and at times verbally insulting toward me.

I worked from home, assisted with household chores, and made conscious efforts to make her comfortable and happy,

At that period, I was indeed struggling financially. I had debts from securing the apartment, which cost close to two million naira, and although she also supported during that process, the financial pressure was intense.

One pattern that concerned me over time was laundry. She would not wash my clothes.

Financially, I give her close to ₦100,000 monthly, which is about 60% of my salary, to cover feeding and the baby’s needs. I also take care of other household bills. Hospital expenses are covered under my HMO.

Despite this, she often makes it seem as though the money I give her is insufficient and that she spends far more.

One issue that escalated matters significantly was intimacy. She often reacts aggressively when I touch her at night. I have tried explaining that I understand intimacy cannot happen all the time, but when she declines, I expect politeness rather than kicking, shouting, or asking me to leave her alone. On the rare occasions when she responds more calmly, she gives reasons such as needing to wake up early for business or to prepare the baby.

She sees her mother almost every day and regularly shares details of what happens in our home with her.
Last month, following a serious disagreement, she left our home with the baby and went to stay at her mother’s house.

Despite my efforts, my wife did not return immediately. She stayed at her mother’s house for approximately one month and returned only when she decided to do so.

My own mother, who had not yet met my wife, initially encouraged me to be patient and make peace. She supported the steps I took to resolve the issue so my wife could return home. However, after I had done everything requested and my wife still delayed her return, my mother became more protective of me. She suggested that I relocate and inform my wife of my decision—if she agrees, we relocate together; if not, I should proceed alone.

My mother’s concern is that this pattern might repeat in the future, possibly many years later, where my wife might leave with the children, disrupting my life and delaying my progress.

I would appreciate guidance on how to handle this situation.

I tried to qoute major red flags in your marriage. You didn't have enough time to confirm the woman loved you before pregnancy showed up. THAT'S IF THAT PREGNANCY IS YOURS.

In the marriage, your wife true color showed quickly that she never loved you, either she married you because of shame of having a baby out of wedlock or she thought you will become more wealthy after completing your studies.

But overall, it's a loveless marriage from her side.

Nothing you can do to make her love you. The choice is yours now if you want to be miserable in marriage or be happy while you find love elsewhere.

The guy supposed put her picture on the post na so that UK boys will help him deal with her.

Russia is also simply enforcing their trade sanctions and targeting ship carrying sanctioned goods, just like America did.

dollytino4real:
Some men are chicken 🐔 they use all their bodies to scatter their wives struggle so dat they will remain under dem,, I thought my was wicked until my friend of old told me her own

No 2 relationship or marriages are the same, because people in the relationships are unique people as well.

And no one is perfect. All relationships or marriages have their unique issues or problems. You stay if you can manage yours and DON'T ever compare other people relationships to yours.

mmadu4:
So I have been worried lately with the ongoing craziness in my relationship with my babe . I noticed that anytime we are having a good moment or peaceful time she doesn't seem to be happy . She might just provoke me or try to insult me or say and do things that might make me beat her not serious beating but very low edge she will fall into depression afterwards and ignore me for as long as it takes she will won't even near me then I will have to beg her forgiveness before everything returns to normal of course with some love making . But this has happening for over a year now I'm becoming worried. What can I do in this situation pls need some advice

That's not love. That's a big red flag. Run