₦airaland Forum

They will chop and chop her. I am talking from experience here.

Even if men are not trying, she will go and look for the gb.ola by herself, most especially if she is posted very far from home.

I saw alot during my service year in far northeast and I equally participated. I k.nacked tire.

Coming back to you after is 50/50. It depends only if she never meet a better offer. BUT be rest assured, she will be kn.cked

By force to have a child for a rich and famous man. Hypergamy is hustle

FlamingBulb:
Thanks..I planned on 1kid from unset but family pressure and advice..Naso God dash me twins hahahaha

Back to you oga. That income is very low for a family of 5. You and your wife should look for how to improve the family income.

She can take up some jobs or business if she is currently not working. You also can look for other side hustle to do.

That's your first point of action. Every other things will come in place with more money. All these rationing of budgets you are looking for advise on are secondary.

The logical thing to do here is to know which of the parent is best suited to bring in the most earnings into the family.

That parent goes out and work while the other person stays at home to raise the kids.

Caaz:
Thank you Kobojunkie... The woman is always the sacrificial lamb that bears the end result.

Sometimes I just laugh how you people emotionally react and give advise.

So if the parent that needs to go and hustle must do construction labor work, go into the market to be carrying loads for market people or do other hard work to provide for the family, who is more physically capable to do such hustle?? Is it the woman??

Man and woman are not equal. The main thing is to utilize each other's strengths and complement each other weaknesses.

Rhymesy:
Naijalanders, what is really going on?

See question oooo. Nothing is going on.

Are you a gay?

plsdisvirginme:
She don finally block me everywhere because I refused to give am 30k.
No problem.
She think she will run away with money.
The girl that was living in a public house with toilet.
She had infection.
Spent close to 100k plus to get her treated.
Because of this
I rented self contain for her , bought gen , tv and furnish her house.
Open fashion shop for her.
All these under one year.
The same She that cripple my own charging shop.
She think she can go free.

Have you learned a lesson here

stacyadams:
6 are you of the opinion akata gehs are to be avoided ?
7 how una dey take toast woman for here i .

6. My opinion is that you should avoid uneducated akata girls, they are in their own world. Educated akata are better.

7. You meet women and form friendship. If she is interested and likes you, she will respond. The only caveats here is that date girls in your economic class or higher. I can't over emphasize that. Or better still, f.irk only women in lower class and be serious with those in your class or higher. This is because of family laws here. That's a big topic for another day.

AND understand what sexual harassment and other similar offenses are and be very careful while dating. You will not run into women problems in America. Amen.

stacyadams:
1..as a minimum wage earner how long should one do the job before moving to other things?
3what career is okay to look into,?
4 i opened an account with BOA,I i never pick up my CC yet..can you expentiate on how to build cc..between BOA and credit union which is better to bank with?
5 how long is cool to stay with your host before finding your way to avoid overstaying ur welcome?
6 are you of the opinion akata gehs are to be avoided ?
7 how una dey take toast woman for here i .

1. If you can, don't stay beyond the time you are using to get more certificate or qualifications for a better job. The more you stay, the more it's becoming your career in the system and more difficult to switch later.

2. That depends on your background and your resolute to explore other fields. There's medical, IT, and many other fields.

4. Regular brick and wall banks like BoA has many charges and offer poor rates compared Credit Unions. Credit unions have fewer locations in case you have business to do in banking hall. For me, I prefer Credit union for most of my banking business and only keep Regular bank for only the purchase of more branches.

To build Credit score, you should get your first CC from any bank or credit union, use it to buy things and MAKE SURE you pay it as soon as it shows up on the account. Leave a very small amount in there unpaid say less than 50 dollars by the last day of the month. So that the system can see that you are using it because it's the last day of month balance that is captured by the credit bureau. If you do this over 6 month to 1 year, your credit score will go up.

TrainPark:
Ok, I get your point.
The hubby is a civil servant and she teaches in a private school

1. Make sure your wife is informed before you do such thing so that you don't end up scattering your home.

2. Don't start what you cannot finish. If care is not taken, you are gradually going to adopt a new family financial burden

Nahimm:
I’m still on the WhatsApp

Make sure you don’t initiate any action like chat, delete or anything at all so that she will not suspect.

2. Whatever you are seeing there, DON'T use it to talk or react to her or anyone so that she will not suspect

3. Keep screenshot of any evidence from the WhatsApp.

4. You will need patience on that WhatsApp. It might take months before you see anything important. Don't be in a hurry.

Nahimm:
I recently cl@ned her WhatsApp to see if there’s something going on with her that i need to know and I discovered this contact that has disappearing messages turned on. No chat history but he messaged recently so I saw it and my attention was drawn to the picture of the guy. I searched deeper on other social media platforms to see the guys pictures and my baby has about 85% resemblance with this guy, bald head, open teeth, V chin shap, and one wrinkle line when she smiles, unlike me, I have full hair on my head, my chin is oval or U shaped.
This guy stays at a place she occasionally goes to for business purposes.
I feel very helpless now, I just need to do a DNA test
I asked for the cost and it’s around 1.3m
I don’t have any money now.
The thing is really disturbing me.

I said it. That woman didn't love you. You were just a plug-in and your usefulness to her is over. Dig more on her relationship with that guy.

Are you still on the WhatsApp? Or is it disconnected?

O boy. Go and face your studies. You can reject advance of any girl. DON'T FEEL SORRY ABOUT IT.

They do same to many boys everywhere evertytime and they don't feel sorry about it.

Forget it and enjoy your life.

Only a good woman deserves a good man.

If no good man has found her at 48years, that means she is not a good woman.

Western and Israeli propaganda.

Don't fall for it.

They are just publishing manufactured figures across different western news media with no proof.

Most likely, the west is the one that orchestred this protest and fanning it.

Nahimm:
We dated for a short period—about three months—before she became pregnant.

I was almost done with my own part-time program and was hopeful that completing it would help me secure a better job.

Because of the pregnancy and the need to be married before the baby was born, we opted for a court wedding.

My wife comes from a family where her parents are separated. we experienced frequent misunderstandings. She was often unhappy, easily provoked, and at times verbally insulting toward me.

I worked from home, assisted with household chores, and made conscious efforts to make her comfortable and happy,

At that period, I was indeed struggling financially. I had debts from securing the apartment, which cost close to two million naira, and although she also supported during that process, the financial pressure was intense.

One pattern that concerned me over time was laundry. She would not wash my clothes.

Financially, I give her close to ₦100,000 monthly, which is about 60% of my salary, to cover feeding and the baby’s needs. I also take care of other household bills. Hospital expenses are covered under my HMO.

Despite this, she often makes it seem as though the money I give her is insufficient and that she spends far more.

One issue that escalated matters significantly was intimacy. She often reacts aggressively when I touch her at night. I have tried explaining that I understand intimacy cannot happen all the time, but when she declines, I expect politeness rather than kicking, shouting, or asking me to leave her alone. On the rare occasions when she responds more calmly, she gives reasons such as needing to wake up early for business or to prepare the baby.

She sees her mother almost every day and regularly shares details of what happens in our home with her.
Last month, following a serious disagreement, she left our home with the baby and went to stay at her mother’s house.

Despite my efforts, my wife did not return immediately. She stayed at her mother’s house for approximately one month and returned only when she decided to do so.

My own mother, who had not yet met my wife, initially encouraged me to be patient and make peace. She supported the steps I took to resolve the issue so my wife could return home. However, after I had done everything requested and my wife still delayed her return, my mother became more protective of me. She suggested that I relocate and inform my wife of my decision—if she agrees, we relocate together; if not, I should proceed alone.

My mother’s concern is that this pattern might repeat in the future, possibly many years later, where my wife might leave with the children, disrupting my life and delaying my progress.

I would appreciate guidance on how to handle this situation.

I tried to qoute major red flags in your marriage. You didn't have enough time to confirm the woman loved you before pregnancy showed up. THAT'S IF THAT PREGNANCY IS YOURS.

In the marriage, your wife true color showed quickly that she never loved you, either she married you because of shame of having a baby out of wedlock or she thought you will become more wealthy after completing your studies.

But overall, it's a loveless marriage from her side.

Nothing you can do to make her love you. The choice is yours now if you want to be miserable in marriage or be happy while you find love elsewhere.

The guy supposed put her picture on the post na so that UK boys will help him deal with her.

Russia is also simply enforcing their trade sanctions and targeting ship carrying sanctioned goods, just like America did.

dollytino4real:
Some men are chicken 🐔 they use all their bodies to scatter their wives struggle so dat they will remain under dem,, I thought my was wicked until my friend of old told me her own

No 2 relationship or marriages are the same, because people in the relationships are unique people as well.

And no one is perfect. All relationships or marriages have their unique issues or problems. You stay if you can manage yours and DON'T ever compare other people relationships to yours.

mmadu4:
So I have been worried lately with the ongoing craziness in my relationship with my babe . I noticed that anytime we are having a good moment or peaceful time she doesn't seem to be happy . She might just provoke me or try to insult me or say and do things that might make me beat her not serious beating but very low edge she will fall into depression afterwards and ignore me for as long as it takes she will won't even near me then I will have to beg her forgiveness before everything returns to normal of course with some love making . But this has happening for over a year now I'm becoming worried. What can I do in this situation pls need some advice

That's not love. That's a big red flag. Run

This is why you were giving 20pct of your earnings to a girl that doesn't even send you as monthly allowance

Twenty8:
Why do some people give one-word replies during conversations? Do they think it makes them seem cool or superior, or is it simply poor communication or a lack of interest in the conversation?

If a woman, she doesn't like you. DON'T force it because it will only end in premium tears for you. Just delete her and her number from your memory.

If others, they are not interested in the conversation.

That's Venezuela army US media are calling militia.

They are setting up the new scheme to invade the country.

DONT FALL FOR IT.

Buratashi:
Amen

Oh boy, if you said she was pregnant for you while dating and you are sure you and her are fertile.

And you have been lashing very often while you pour inside, then that woman is on contraceptives.

I have heard of many stories when women go to clinic to insert contraceptives into their womb without husband knowledge.

Kobojunkie:
I hope she learns to love herself before that day so she knows to put herself first, realizing that she and that baby(whenever she decides to have one) will ultimately not be happy if she loses her career and/or progress in the process. 🥱🥱🥱

2. You calling yourself her backbone while blatantly trying each time to get her pregnant to destroy her career is what is a big deal.

This woman eh. He hates his wife and sponsored her through school??

pozehnani:
Yes dear it's me Judith

Same as Mercychen aka Erimma aka Juwessgratitude aka Ahni aka Channah1 aka Oldnairalanderb aka Mariangeles aka channel1 aka juwessgratitud aka jewessgratitud3 aka Calidora1 aka Blessedchen aka DivinegiftofGod aka Ashiraweathy

Mikedel80:
There is nothing as powerful as a woman in her feminine state. No be to dey do gra gra.

1. Be careful of advise you take from here. Because most of the people here are inexperienced in marriages, very young, old but never married, have problems with "marriage" as an institution.

2. You are truly inexperienced with women and marriages based on all you have revealed.

3. I think you should look for experienced married men who have lived happily with their wives for years to gain knowledge of how to handle a woman In a marriage. Look for experienced married ones ooo.

4. Note that what you are facing now is common to many marriages, most especially new marriages, until both parties become experienced. If you scatter this marriage and fail to learn from elders and make yourself better, you might face similar challenges in any other woman you will marry in future. So go and learn.

The only deterrent America understands.

Yes and yes. How many women today you hear talk about who disvirgined them??

This is beyond terrorism.

Removing a democratically elected president just to have access to country's resources.

Who is the terrorist now??

Using military to topple a democratically elected government to steal the country oil and land is highest terrorism.

Ilekokonit:
Nairaland is no longer worth my while.

Bros, you are not new here na. Why will you allow some people insane comments get to you??

As par the issue you are going through, please take it easy on yourself. They are both adults now. You can only advise them, you cannot live their life for them

What I see very deep in this is that you are not in good relationship with your children. That's why they will travel to Nigeria without telling you. That is a big thing you should work on.

Start looking for ways to improve this relationship, irrespective of the situation between you and their mother. The children are your family, your blood and you must make sure you enjoy close and good relationships with them.

By the way, drinking and going to bar is not a solution to this. Look for your good friends to speak to, about it to lift up your spirit and work on your family relationship.