Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,167,070 members, 7,867,044 topics. Date: Friday, 21 June 2024 at 10:03 AM

Henribj's Posts

Nairaland Forum / Henribj's Profile / Henribj's Posts

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (of 81 pages)

Family / Re: I Need Ideas On How To Reconcile With My Wife. by henribj(m): 12:46am On Apr 10, 2018
I am not married so pardon me if my suggestions don't make so much sense.
Basically I would suggest you make a move to reconcile with your wife, in marriage there is bound to be issues and like you said what caused your separation is just a lack of understanding and poor communication coupled with insults, if you keep separating your self from one marriage or the other because you and wifey had a misunderstanding then I think you are not ready for marriage, the good thing is the trust level between you both is still good. So reach out to her and invite her out to somewhere nice and then get to know her thoughts on you both reconciling, and from there you will know what the next step will be.

5 Likes

Family / Re: My Sister Wants Court Marriage, Her Husband Doesn't. Advise Her Please by henribj(m): 12:33am On Apr 10, 2018
Why do I think I perceive something fishy in the op's write up? To me it appears the woman is older than the man and probably used money to entice and keep the man married to her since age is not on her side, now since her dad and she are probably going to be assisting the man financially so his business can get bigger and all that, she does not want a case of the man blowing up and changing it for her later.
#justmyopinion

6 Likes

Crime / Re: Lady Calls Out Her Partner For Assaulting Her And Sleeping With Their Maid - Pic by henribj(m): 3:00pm On Apr 06, 2018
If only this woman knows that she is also in trouble for knowing the husband was sleeping with a minor and then not doing anything about it by not reporting it to the relevant authorities, she go just shut up and focus on the angle of wife beater and irresponsible husband and father.
#justsaying
Romance / Re: Man Engages Girlfriend With N2 Million Cheque & Diamond Ring (Photos) by henribj(m): 11:48pm On Apr 05, 2018
Codes151:
they just after A rich guy...

Them go wait tire.

1 Like

Romance / Re: Man Engages Girlfriend With N2 Million Cheque & Diamond Ring (Photos) by henribj(m): 4:44pm On Apr 05, 2018
MhizzAJ:
Wow

I'm happy for her but i'm not jealous
I'm just viewing this thread plus the diamond ring,it's so flawless

May their marriage sparkle and shine...I wish...but broke boys wouldn't let me rest

I just hope he's seeing this oo

Did it ever occur to you that maybe she has been with him ever before he became rich and successful? Pick one of those broke guys disturbing you, support and encourage him and when it's your time he might just give you more than 2M cheque.
# justsaying

1 Like

Celebrities / Re: Wizkid Flaunts His N432 Million Wristwatch On Instagram (Photos) by henribj(m): 10:58pm On Jan 24, 2018
now i can understand why the federal government no send its citizens, if we citizens can't help ourselves why expect the fed. govt. to help us, 400m+ naira for just a wrist watch? just imagine the number of businesses that could have been started with that amount.
Crime / Re: Woman Brutalized By Her Baby Daddy In Lagos (Photos) by henribj(m): 12:28pm On Dec 18, 2017
ceezarhh:
world people!...women are stabbing, men are beating...

lol
Crime / Re: How I Escaped Death From Ritualists – 200Level KWASU Student Narrates Her Ordeal by henribj(m): 9:22pm On Dec 13, 2017
useless police .... so the gals phone was on all through the time she spent in the kidnappers den and no attempt was made to track/trace her line to determine her current location?
so now the girl is free, what happens to other victims still in the kidnappers den, and what happens to the future victims that will be kidnapped and brought to that same den for evil purposes?
like i said, useless police.
#justmyopinion

22 Likes 4 Shares

Romance / Re: Couple Take Pre-Wedding Photos To The Bedroom by henribj(m): 12:40pm On Dec 11, 2017
Forceup:
Why are they putting on clothes?? Who wears clothes in the other room??

lol... cos they will be walking up and down naked just cos they are in the other room abi?

angry angry angry

Its beautiful and romantic though.. kiss kiss
Car Talk / Re: Nissan Leaf All-Electric Vehicle Spotted In Lagos by henribj(m): 12:21pm On Dec 11, 2017
eaglechild:

Did you says cheap price?

Electric cars are not cheap.

yeah i know they are not cheap
but that car in the picture, to me does not look like brand new
Car Talk / Re: Nissan Leaf All-Electric Vehicle Spotted In Lagos by henribj(m): 8:55pm On Dec 07, 2017
eGarage:


Charging this Vehicle isn't any different from your other electronics gadgets. Once you follow the power ratings, you're cool.

It's not as difficult as we think

Oh, good then.
Car Talk / Re: Nissan Leaf All-Electric Vehicle Spotted In Lagos by henribj(m): 8:11pm On Dec 07, 2017
i pity the person wey buy this car, maybe him no sabi say the car na electric car, him just allow the cheap price deceive am
very soon he go know wetin he do himself by the time he begin find where he go charge the car battery
#justsaying
Sports / Re: The New Super Eagles Kit For Russia 2018 (Photo) by henribj(m): 8:55pm On Nov 27, 2017
Nice
Crime / Re: Man Arraigned For Using Female Facebook Account For N1.5 Million Fraud(photo) by henribj(m): 8:44pm On Nov 27, 2017
Really? never knew abokis are also into online dating scam
this country has really hit the rocks for an aboki to be doing this
Family / Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by henribj(m): 3:25pm On Nov 26, 2017
betafuture:
I am very sorry, it seems like anytime I post on Nairaland is actually the time I have great challenges in my life, however, my posts also reflect the chronicle of my life. You may wish to check out my last posting about how I was sacked in the Bank with a debt that was guaranteed by a junior staff, whose job was threatened by the loan I obtained and she guaranteed for me. please find the link https://www.nairaland.com/2282140/loan-incured-before-termination-appointment Like I mentioned in that post, I got a job as with a Rep member and he appointed me as the Special assistant on a salary of 80k monthly and my boss paid my rent, of which I engage with my lender to take 50k with me monthly and right off the excess interest and stop disturbing the junior colleague, an arrangement they agreed to and everybody was fine, save that I had to struggle to cope with 30k monthly as a family man, working in Abuja. My wife never complained. I just gave her 25k from the salary, once received, to buy food for the family why I tried to manage with the remaining 5k. It was tough! Luckily, a junior lady cousin who works in a bank was posted to Abuja and we had to accommodate her. She was very kind and understood my plight. Sometimes, she drops up to 50k for my wife to augment the house expenses. She would tell me and sometimes, I would take additional 10k to ad to my pocket money.

The home was running, my son, my wife and my cousin, including myself were very happy. As a banker, I had learned the skill of marketing and networking and negotiation. In the course of my sojourn in the national assembly I met a head of a parastatal wjo needed me to do some strategic alliance between his organization and my boss. We later became great friends, and i realized I could access a scholarship to study in the UK through him. To cut the story short, I pursued this opportunity to the latter and I got a Federal government scholarship to pursue a Masters degree in the UK. I saw this as an opportunity to rewrite the story of my life. Two months in the UK, I began to look for means to bring my wife and son to join me in the UK. While I was in UK, I made it a point of duty to send 150k to my wife in Nigeria on monthly basis (Remember I was on scholarship) and I also do student work in the UK. Because we did not sell our car during the crisis, I also gave the custody of the car to her.

FIRST SUSPICION

When she was about coming to the UK with my 7 years old son, we decided to give out some of our home appliances and sell most of them including the car. Since I was not in Nigeria, she was to manage the transactions. Because I opened her e-mail address, i do see her mails, so i could see the alert on her GTB. The first thing that prompted me was that the amount she received for the sales of our car was 100k higher than what she declared to me. (The fund was meant to buy the flight tickets for her and my son). There were other expense transactions that were over declared, but the actual amount debited to her account were quite low. I did not confront her on these issues until she arrived UK with my son. When I did, I could see the way she manipulatively and professionally lied her way out of the whole issue. I did not pick an offense, hence i made her to understand that I was never convinced. Since then my instinct told me that if she could lie to me so much on finance, maybe there are other things going on in her life that I never known. However, I opened her Facebook account for her years ago in Nigeria, but I never bothered to check it. Out of curiosity, I tried login into her Facebook account and I discovered she has changed the password. My first reaction was to check it, but had I done that, she would have been conscious, then I used my skill as an trained IT security expert to crack her password and then access her Facebook. I ran through all her messenger message and everything was fine. Apart from a certain guy who always beg her for assistance and prayer, there was nothing really suspicious about her messanger and then, we continued with our normal life.

After a week in UK, she started to work as a carer (her visa permitted her to work fully), and she began to make money. I know how much enters her account and we decide how to spend. My son also start schooling and life began to have meaning again. I finished my masters with a distinction and the best graduating student in my department and my University offered me automatic admission for PhD, with part scholarship.l To remain, we needed to source funds to show evidence that my family can stay with me in the UK and show evidence of the balance of school fees. We sourced for money everywhere. She brought all she had and we had to borrow both from UK and Nigeria. My boss was very supportive and I commenced the PhD this September. As a family, we have a problem. My son is now 8 years and we have been trying to make another baby but it does not seem to be forthcoming. We have been to hospitals in the UK, we were both tested and once told my sperm motility was low, treated, but later we were considered both ok.

Since her arrival in the UK, I noticed that my wife suddenly repel sexxx. Sometimes, we had sexxxx just once in a month, she would find a way of brushing away by advances. At a level, i had to ask if there was any problem, but she said it was because of the new environment, her jobs and what have you. This further told me that all was not well in my marriage. She knows I love her and I would do anything for her. While we were yet trying to pay my tuition, her mum got a US visa and all the children were making contributions for her journey, I had to take from my school fees and send to Nigeria and manage my school to give us more time. I tried to ensure that we continually live like one happy family.

Do not let me sound like one perfect good guy. I had also lived a rough bad life in the past and she is aware. During my days in the bank, I had been sexually reckless and irresponsible. There was a time I left office to a gal house, fckked her and I never knew that the condom we used was stick to my shoe. I drove with it home, entered home very late at night, my wife was already angrily waiting for me in the house, only to see a used condom with sperm inside attached to the soul of my shoe. It was an issue that we had to battle with for weeks, even though I never confess it was from, I told a story that it must have got gummed to me at the mechanic village where I had gone to pick my car in the evening (She was aware that someone has accused my mechanic of having sexxx in his car, leaving condom at the back seat). after few weeks, we resolved the issue and we continued leaving normal life. However, there was also a time I suspected her activities on Facebook and I realised a guy whom she has known in the past has been pestering her and she seems to be encouraging him (That was during our period of financial crisis). I had confronted her, she had denied they never had anything but the guy was just pestering her. I apologised and went sober. I called the guy (who was also married) and lived in another faraway city. The guy denied having anything to do with her that she just knew her while growing up. The guy originally blasted me, but later called back and apologized and promised never to disturb her again. I was hurting for months, after which I forgave, forgot and moved on. Let me also state that during the period of my financial crisis, I made a covenant with God, after listening to a message, that whatever the case maybe, I will remain faithful to my wife. This I have manage to keep despite advances from both married and single friends and acquaintances.

THE REAL ISSUE

Now, we are living in the UK and very happy, she is working full-time, while I pursue my PhD full-time, work part-time and my son schools full-time and we were all happy, save the issue of delayed pregnancy and (to me, the poor sex life from her). Let me also state that I bought her a Samsung phone (when she arrived last year), which I have full access to because I know her password. Few months ago, she told me she wanted a bigger phone that she would send the one I bought her to my younger brother in Nigeria who had been disturbing her for a phone. Even though, I thought we did not need to spend money on a new phone at that crucial time because of the looming school expenses, I consented just for her to be happy and she got herself a Samsung galaxy s8 plus for 700pounds, which she would repay of 2 years. The first thing that prompted me about the phone was that she changed her password, but I never mind because I thought she was preventing my son, who always loved to play game on her phone from accessing the phone. However, after few weeks, I began to feel very uncomfortable about the whole stuff. My instinct just told me all was not well. Whatever was it, I could not place my finger on it. But after reviewing my work with my supervisor in the University yesterday, I just felt like going home to rest, instead of studying in the school and then, I met wife in the house with my son. She was trying to order some items online for my son for Christmas and on arrival, she gave her phone to select what we should buy for him, and then, the FB message came into her phone and I could read...'it is not what you think, I have been very busy'

I selected the item I thought was ok, gave returned her phone, picked my laptop and logged in to her Facebook. My wife pretended she was enganging me in discussion, but was responding to the message from a guy, who obviously was her lover and she wrote (I was reading from my computer without her knowledge) 'You know I will ALWAYS LOVE YOU'. and the other guy responded 'I love you more baby' (By this time, I was already burning on the seat, but I somehow managed to keep my calm). She wrote 'But you don't call me' ...and she stood up and went to the kitchen (I wanted to gather enough evidence before I reacted), but immediately she got to the kitchen, she deleted the conversation. At this time, I could not take it. My son was in the sitting room, watching cartoon. I went to her in the kitchen and aggressively confronted her. She originally pretended she did not know what I was saying, but when she say the aggression and seriousness in me she started begging and crying. I lost control of my emotion. I was angry and shouting. My son was there. He was too young, but very intelligent. he understood everything and began to blame his mum, at the same time asking me ti give mum a second chance. I was bitterly hurting. I felt like tearing her into pieces, but if I tried that in UK, it will be straight to jail. She could not state the reason behind her action. She was still trying to lie. She said the guy was her ex and they recently became friends on Facebook and the guy is trying to rekindle the old relationship. The guy is based in Nigeria, they do not even see. Everything she said was incoherently sense. All she wanted was that I should forgive her. I should not tell anybody. She cried, wept and what have you. I was hurting. If it were to by Nigeria, she would have left my house yesetrday, but in UK, it is difficult. The love turned to hatred. She managed to convince me to enter room with her, so that she will discuss the issue with me, without getting our son involved. In the room, it was the same crying and plea for forgiveness and a promise it would never happen again. I told her i was ok, but she would not let me out. I had to angrily shove her away from the door and she hit her head against the wardrobe. i was too angry, too sad, and too hateful to care. i called her all manners of unprintable names. I cursed her, I was just too angry. She kept begging. I left for the sitting room and she came back, knelt down before me and kept begging. My son was crying that two of us were making him sad. The young boy even threatened to tell his teacher in the school on monday. I was too angry to listen. I just told her to let me be. She stood up with tears in her eyes to enter the toilet, I checked her Facebook account again and realised that the lover had sent another message thus: "My dear I don't call you always to protect your home, but I always check your pictures every night before I go to bed" As I was reading, she stupidly deleted that again in the toilet. (Please note that my wife always post our family pictures on facebook, stating how I am the best husband in the world).

My anger erupted again and I rushed to meet her in the bathroom and asked her why she deleted the last message of the guy and she tearfully answered that she did not want me to see anything that could aggravate my anger the more. I angrily snatched the phone from her and smashed it on the floor. She knelt down at my feet and continued to cry and beg for forgiveness, but I was hurting so badly. I left for sitting room again and my son was confusedly crying. She came back and knelt before me and continued begging and weeping and begged we should go back to the room to discuss, at least to protect our son. After a while, i followed her. There was nothing to say; the same weeping, crying and promises to not do it again and swearing that they never had anything together. I told her I needed to talk to the guy and she pleaded I should not. I told her she is giving me an impression that she is protecting the guy so that she could continue her illicit affairs with him and told her it would not work. The can change tactics, but its is only a matter of time. I told her, I would forgive her, but I cannot trust her again and when there is no trust in marriage, the marriage is gone. I also told her I must engage that guy that she should give me his number, but she said her phone is no longer working. I made her feel comfortable that I have forgiven her, but honestly I am hurting. I went back to my laptop, continued chat with the guy on her messenger, but he was now online. We both slept on the same bed, i realised she could not sleep. In the middle of the night she woke me up to beg again, she was offering a make-up sexxx, but I was not interested. I told her i had forgiven her, but I am still hurting and there is no way i could have erection with her. In the morning, I checked her messanger, i discovered the iddiot has responded, still claiming to love her. I checked his profile, I realised he is a muslim, who has a wife with two kids. His location was not shown, but most of his pics her in Nigeria apart from two which have foreign background. I also realize he has limited posts on FB, but the phone number on his FB page is US phone number.

From my wife's FB account, I sent a message thus:

Hi, Mr Farouq, my name is Adams, I am Grace husband
I just wish to inform you that all the rubbish you have been doing with my wife are now exposed to me
I advise you in the name of whatever thing you believe, STAY AWAY FROM MY WIFE.

I also realize you are a married man. If you have any moral integrity and respect for family values, you will know that
responsible men do not run after married women or break homes.

I do not care whatever you claim you think of her, just heed this warning STAY AWAY FROM MY WIFE.

He read it an never respond. I went to her facebook setting and unfriended him.

I left home in the morning to go study in the library, but honestly, I could not assimilate anything. I am so emotionally broken down, so psychologically disturbed. The whole event kept playing in my head. I found it difficult to rationalise it. I continued to find fault in my being and my personality. I know I am very attractive handsome young man. Despite showing I am married, ladies still flock around me. I am also a passionate lovemaker. I dress well and look neat. I don't seem to understand where I have failed. Sometimes I just close my eyes and i feel tears dripping, but I have got to be strong. As for her, she has remained in the room since morning, hiding her head in shame and crying profusely. I have cut off communication with her since I came back from school and I have enganged myself in drinking spirit maybe my spirit will be strenghtened.

This is my story, this is my ordeal. Please I need advice.

Thanks.







mehn this your story dey very touching o... really i know not the best advice to give to you or anyone in this situation, i have also experienced what your going through, the only difference is am not married and it happened while i was dating her. with women you can never just tell what or where the problem with them is from. basically just move on with life, do your best for yourself and your son, if you feel you cant tolerate her in your life or house, get separated from her and if possible divorce her now before you become rich cos once you become rich i think she becomes entitled to a huge settlement. its better she is out of your life now than for her to be in your life and you are slowly dying inside and at the end of the day you will be pushed to do something tragic that will not benefit you or your son. in as much as it is good to forgive, but never lie to yourself if you cant forgive, it is better to be truthful to yourself than to lie to yourself.
Celebrities / Re: Mompha Exposes Hushpuppi: Fraudster, Your Mom A Bread Seller & Dad A Taxi Driver by henribj(m): 10:15pm On Oct 27, 2017
onyekachee:
He taught ray how to fly business class?please is there such airline that takes such class?
I just hate when friends have little misunderstanding and the next thing they start airing all their dirty laundry,throwing childish tantrums in public

There is more to the story because if truly hush puppy Is broke judging from his flamboyant lifestyle and heavy spending,it will just be hard to believe he can't afford to pay for rent and taxi,still waiting for hush puppy's side of the story while I sip my tea

lol.. which flamboyant lifestyle? don't be deceived my dear, all na packaging. have you ever partied or hang out with hushpuppi? so how do you know he truly has money? don't believe everything you read and hear, learn to read inbetween the lines, forget his clothes, china dey do customized now, they can photocopy anything e remain to photocopy human being.

2 Likes

Travel / Re: Oyinbo Man Spotted Hawking Soft Drinks To Nigerians In UK Traffic by henribj(m): 5:18pm On Oct 25, 2017
if them check that oyinbo man story wella, e fit be say na one naija dude don scam am of all im money over the internet, na e make the oyinbo man enter this business, the hustle is real, help yourselves my fellow naijas, the country naija no even send im citizens... only thing is never kill to get rich, infact.... never kill
#justsaying
#justmyopinion
Properties / Re: Mini Flat Available At Mende, Maryland(lagos State). by henribj(m): 6:06pm On Oct 24, 2017
no longer available
Crime / Re: Yahoo Boys With Exotic Car And House Arrested By EFCC In Lagos. Photos by henribj(m): 8:51pm On Oct 06, 2017
mtcheew, them leave the real thieves and going after boys trying to help themselves and their families.

1 Like

Properties / Re: Mini Flat Available At Mende, Maryland(lagos State). by henribj(m): 8:43pm On Oct 06, 2017
kitchen

Romance / Re: Groom Plays Video Of Bride Cheating With Another Man At Their Wedding Dinner by henribj(m): 8:42pm On Oct 06, 2017
entering room and coming out does not mean anything in a court of law, except their is evidence to show they were actually intimate while in the room... #justsaying

2 Likes 1 Share

Properties / Re: Mini Flat Available At Mende, Maryland(lagos State). by henribj(m): 11:09pm On Sep 30, 2017
spacious bed room

Properties / Re: Mini Flat Available At Mende, Maryland(lagos State). by henribj(m): 10:50pm On Sep 28, 2017
room leading to the sitting room and kitchen

Computers / Re: HP ENVY 6t Ultrabook Intel Core I5/15.6/4gb/500gb/webcam/bt For Sale by henribj(m): 10:18pm On Sep 27, 2017
THIS ITEM IS NO LONGER AVAILABLE.
Computers / Re: HP ENVY 6t Ultrabook Intel Core I5/15.6/4gb/500gb/webcam/bt For Sale by henribj(m): 9:17pm On Sep 26, 2017
henribj:
HP ENVY 6t Ultrabook Intel Core i5/15.6/4GB/500GB/Webcam/BT ULTRABOOK

Computers / Re: HP ENVY 6t Ultrabook Intel Core I5/15.6/4gb/500gb/webcam/bt For Sale by henribj(m): 9:13pm On Sep 26, 2017
HP ENVY 6t Ultrabook Intel Core i5/15.6/4GB/500GB/Webcam/BT ULTRABOOK

Computers / Re: HP ENVY 6t Ultrabook Intel Core I5/15.6/4gb/500gb/webcam/bt For Sale by henribj(m): 9:11pm On Sep 26, 2017
henribj:
Fairly used "HP ENVY 6t Ultrabook Intel Core i5/15.6/4GB/500GB/Webcam/BT" for sale
contact me on whatsapp via 09080344989 for further info
before contacting me to ask for specs on the laptop, I advice you google it yourself, if you have MB to come on NL you definitely have MB to google also
more pictures available via whatsapp

Only problem it has is battery problem, a new battery is needed, that is if you intend to use the laptop with battery.

Computers / Re: HP ENVY 6t Ultrabook Intel Core I5/15.6/4gb/500gb/webcam/bt For Sale by henribj(m): 9:08pm On Sep 26, 2017
HP ENVY 6t Ultrabook Intel Core i5/15.6/4GB/500GB/Webcam/BT ULTRABOOK

Computers / HP ENVY 6t Ultrabook Intel Core I5/15.6/4gb/500gb/webcam/bt For Sale by henribj(m): 9:06pm On Sep 26, 2017
Fairly used "HP ENVY 6t Ultrabook Intel Core i5/15.6/4GB/500GB/Webcam/BT" for sale
contact me on whatsapp via 09080344989 for further info
before contacting me to ask for specs on the laptop, I advice you google it yourself, if you have MB to come on NL you definitely have MB to google also
more pictures available via whatsapp

Properties / Re: Mini Flat Available At Mende, Maryland(lagos State). by henribj(m): 8:58pm On Sep 26, 2017
still available

Properties / Re: Mini Flat Available At Mende, Maryland(lagos State). by henribj(m): 7:06pm On Sep 21, 2017
still available

Properties / Re: Mini Flat Available At Mende, Maryland(lagos State). by henribj(m): 12:50pm On Sep 21, 2017
Still available

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (of 81 pages)

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 91
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.