₦airaland Forum

Any zikite here? ( Nnamdi azikiwe university).
Abeg, call up number dn cum out?

Boss says to secretary, "We are
travelling abroad for
the week, so make
arrangements." Secretary
makes
a call to her husband, "My boss
and I will be
travelling abroad for the week,
so look after kids."
Husband makes call to secret
lover, "My wife is going
abroad for the week, so let's
spend the week
together." Secret lover makes a
call to a little boy
whom she is giving private
lessons, "I'm going to be
busy throughout the week, so
you need not come for
classes." Little boy makes call to
his grandfather,
"Grandpa, I don't have classes
for the week, because
my teacher is going to be busy.
Let's spend the week
together." Grandpa makes a
call to his Secretary,
"I'm afraid we won't be
travelling again. My grandson
and I are going to spend the
week together."
Secretary makes a call to her
husband, "My boss has
some personal matters to
attend to, so our trip is
cancelled." Husband makes a
call to secret lover,
"We cannot spend the week
together, my wife has
cancelled her trip." Secret lover
makes a call to little
boy, "We will still have classes
as usual this week."
Little boy makes a call to his
grandfather, "Grandpa!
I'm sorry we won't be able to
spend the week
together. My teacher called and
said that I have to
attend classes." Grandpa makes
a call to his
secretary, "Change of plans! My
grandson is no more
coming. So we are still
travelling this week. Make
arrangements."
Who is controlling this chain
please?

EroticAngelina:
its long naaaaaa!!! I hate reading lengthy things! op, mind summarizing?

If u don't like reading lengthy tnz, then y do go to school?

Uniqueteco:
RIP greet my dad when you gets to heaven

Lolx. Who told u that ur... Dey heaven?

This shouldn't be an issue bcuz he is from ghana and nairaland is in nigeria. This shouldn't have made it to the front page.

Is it still available?

The only people that can answer this question r keshi, mikel and emenike. If these three can commit themselves to the game, then we won't have a problem qualifying.

I am in batch c and I haven't even started my clearance yet. Wl dat affect me? Pls reply as soon as possible.

pxjosh:
you're better than them all, if you put all you've read to practice. you also need to change your mindset

My mindset runs on android. FYI, I have upgraded it to version 4.4.2

youngcee:
maybe because you do not read to understand....but just for reading things

My name is HESKEYW
Heskeyw means READ, STUDY and UNDERSTAND. Thank you.

Ladies dress to KILL.
Boys Dress to LIVE.
That's y the mortality rate of girls is higher than that of the boys.
I arrest my case.

1. When was the first time you did something for the last time?

2. When was the last time you did something for the first time?

I have read it all nd still, am not better than our corrupt politicians who didn't smell the four walls of the school.

MaleoPearls:
We has heard oooooo.

U heard what?

glitest:
It ought to have been the world's fakest butt; Nicki Minaj was on the damn list.

Kim's butt isn't fake ooo. Na nicki minaj's own be fake.

Kim Kardashian's butt is what
most women into body
enhancement are now seeking.
According to a research
released over the weekend, Kim
K has been World's Best butt
and over 45% percent of
women seeking to enlarge their
butt in the last one year want
what they now refer to as 'The
Kim'.
Longevita plastic surgeon Prof.
Dr. Fuat Yuksel, who
commissioned the research,
said:
'Kim has been popular
among women seeking
bottom augmentation or
"Brazilian butt lifts" as they
are more commonly
known, for a few years, but
in the last 12 months we’ve
had a massive rise in the
numbers asking for a Kim
Kardashian bum. The
procedure is performed
through liposuctioned fatty
tissue being injected into
the buttocks. Kim has risen
from just outside the top
ten to the number one
position in record time and
is a firm favourite among
women in the UK and
elsewhere around the
world."
"The Brazilian lift is now
one of the most highly
sought-after procedures we
do - we’ve seen a 200 per
cent increase in the
number of UK enquiries for
this procedure in the last
12 months alone. British
women love beauties like
Nicki Minaj and Kim
Kardashian who have
bigger bums and are not
afraid to flaunt them.' Dr
Yuksel said
Source: Mail Online...

Two families, the royal family of
Olaoye in Ushi-Ekiti and the
Oyenekan family are at
loggerheads over the circum­
cision of a 5-year-old girl,
Sunnewsonline reports...
The once rosy relationship
between both families has
now turned sour following
a disagreement over the
circumcision of their 5-
year-old daughter.
Miss Olufunke Oyenekan,
mother of the 5yr old girl
and fiancee to Emmanuel
Olaoye, son of the Olaoyes,
a royal family in Ushi-Ekiti,
Ekiti State, had disagreed
with the Olaoyes over their
decision to perform the
traditional circumcision rites
on her daughter.
The woman, sensing that her
husband’s family wanted to
perform the rites by all means,
fled with her child from the
Olaoye’s family house in Ushi
Ekiti in 2012 and her
whereabouts has since remain
unknown.
Recently, the Olaoye family
again raised the alarm through
a representative, identified as
Chief Olu Olaoye over the
sudden disappearance of
Olufunke and her daughter.
The family said that their son’s
fiancee did not mean well for
the family by preventing them
from performing the
circumcision rites on the child.
Their explanation is that it is a
mandatory cultural practice to
have all their children
circumcised, moreso that theirs
is a royal family whose duty it is
to preserve the cultural
heritage of the people of Ushi
Ekiti in order to set an example
for the people.
“She (Olufunke) is not helping
us, neither is she helping our
daughter she has taken away.
There are certain cultural
practices that we adhere to in
our land, some are avoidable
while others are not. This
practice of circumcision is part
of the unavoidable ones.
Olufunke cannot prevent us
from carrying out cultural and
traditional rites on our own
blood. It is a must that we do
the circumcision rites for the
girl. Moreso, that the child is a
princess, a daughter from the
royal family of Ushi Ekiti and
possibly a future regent!.
“We have told them (Olu­
funke’s family) that they must
ensure that they produce her
because she cannot prevent us
from performing our traditional
duties. She must bring our
daughter for the circumcision
rites, “ he said, fuming with
anger.
Meanwhile, Olufunke has
vowed not to allow anyone,
even if it is her husband, to
carry out any circumcision rites
on her daughter. A member of
her family, who spoke to
Sunday Sun on condition of
anonymity because of the
sensitive nature of the matter,
said: “As for the Oyenekan
family, we have no problem
with whatever the Olaoye family
wants to do with their
daughter. In our part of the
world, it is the man who owns
the child and has the final say
over him or her. But our
daughter, Olufunke is more
western-oriented than many of
us. She has vowed not to allow
any circumcision for her
daughter. She says the practice
might have an adverse effect on
the girl in the future. We would
have been able to intervene in
the matter to ensure that peace
reigns but right now, I can
swear to you that we do not
even know the whereabouts of
Olufunke and her child. In fact,
we learnt that her older son
has also joined his mum where
she was but we do not have
any idea of where that is. There
was a time she took refuge with
their pastor in a church in
Abeokuta. The pastor assisted
in getting the human rights
group to intervene for peaceful
resolution of the matter, but
the fiance’ family became
violent about the matter, they
wanted to get their daughter by
all means. We learnt that
Olufunke narrowly escaped the
attack on her and ran off with
her daughter. We can only
appeal to our in-laws to
exercise patience on this issue
till God makes Olufunke to
come back, right now, there is
nothing anyone can do.”, the
man said.
Speaking on phone to the
Sunday Sun, Mr. Emmanuel
Olaoye, fiancé to Olufunke,
narrated how the trouble over
the circumcision rites started,
his words: “My fiancée, Olu­
funke Oyenekan and I met in
February14,2006 and we love
each other but haven’t married
legally. We were co-habitting
and eventually had two kids. A
boy and a girl.
“Things went on smoothly
between us till I lost my father
who was a traditional ruler in
Ushi Ekiti, my home town. I
received the message of the
death of our royal father and
was told I had been picked as
his successor. So, I went home
for the burial rites and took my
wife-to-be and our children
with me, actually to ensure that
my extended family get to know
her. We travelled to Ushi Ekiti in
January 1,2012.
“However, we didn’t know that
a shocker was awaiting us at
Ushi-Ekiti. My family demanded
that we submit our children for
circumcision rites.
Funke, my wife-to-be, didn’t
like this arrangement at all. She
didn’t particularly want our
daughter, who was then two
years and four months old to
be circumcised as she said she
didn’t like what she experience
as a woman who was
circumcised by her parents
when she was young.
“But my people won’t be
persuaded to spare our
daughter of the treatment
because our tradition forbids
any of our blood not being
administered the circumcision
rites.
“My fiancée has since fled with
our daughter since the
disagreement in Ushi-Ekiti. As
I’m going to succeed my late
father as the traditional ruler of
our town, it becomes more
mandatory for my children to
be circumcised. Here in our
land, it is part of the
prerequisites of a king-to-be to
have all his children
circumcised. We really do not
have a choice here. But my
fiancee sees the practice as
barbaric and outdated. She
won’t have any of it for our
daughter. “ “That is why she
ran away with our daughter.
Our son has also joined her
where she is. I want to believe
her people arranged her
escape and know her where­
abouts but they are claiming
ignorance of it. We once heard
she was in a pastor’s custody in
one Bethel Love Church in
Abeokuta, Ogun State. My
people went there but she
escaped from them and fled to
an unknown place with the
children and hasn’t been seen
since then. I’m just confused
about the whole development,
“ Olaoye said, wearing a
defeated, melancholy look.
Culled from Sun News

U guys thought that ur eyes are sharp? Oya, decode wetn dey wrong in this picture.

she luks good with her entire clothes on. Unlike d times when she tries to copy beyounce and ends up luking lyk a LovePeddler.

may God help seun, d op and d moderators. Mtsheeew. My mun cuks 3times a day wt our youngest lil sis tied to her bk. i.e 365 days x 3 gvs u 1095times.

I think that stephen keshi is now hanging out with david moyes.

Atmmachine:
No guy is a virgin..
If you haven't had sex with any girl then you must be one of the #Team vaseline.
You use your hand to empty your tank (Mas*tur*ba*tion)

Next time address yourself as a secondary virgin

Sanchez!! Lmao. The faith of nigerian virgins lies on their hands and soaps.

98percent of all male virgins do MASTURBATE. In other words, the faith of male virgins lies in their hands and soaps.

Nigeria is a corrupt country. Call me anywhere to prove it except in a law court.

Marine tour guide Steven Benjamin
captured the spectacular sight while
whale-spotting off the coast of South
Africa The 31-year-old was ‘blown
away’ by the humpback, which
disappeared for 20 minutes before
leaping from the water The majestic
animal even ‘waved’ his fin at the
stunned onlookers in a rare close
encounter with the huge creature

•Lagos offers funding for
research on Ebola
(The funding should be
directed to the following
1. Dr. #Iguedo Goko Cleanser:
Ogwu anyi na-agwo every
infection including Ebola
2. #Prophet TB: Ebola patients,
receive your healing now!
3.. #Bitter Extra Herbal
mixtures: Our bitter extra will
make sure that the Ebola
won't come close to you again.
4. #Deep root: Ogwu anyi na
agwo ife nile, including Ebola,
onwero side effect.)

Your pastor post about
Rapture and gets 5Likes. You
post about Boobs and get
180Likes, and you want God to
bless you? The thunder that
will fire you is still doing Press
up.

on my way to the north, i passed APC AND BOKOHARAM

Ladies at wat age did u meet ur
fiancé and where did u guys
meet ?