Good to know, meanwhile where do you belong?

Please can we have more comments and insights on this post. I and the Op seem to be in same shoes.

I can't read all the comments on this thread tonight. I am totally overwhelmed by the number of people who have stopped by whether positively or negatively. Thanks to you all.
The issue at hand seems sorted but its taking a different turn all to my advantage. Lol
I pulled an unbelievable stunt on him and if he recovers from this....he will NEVER mess with an innocent and virtous woman like me. I'm not trying to praise myself but the truth remains that I know who I am. Our kids are currently out of the house, staying with my sis inlaw. Will give details tomorrow.
Thanks to you all and I'm saying a big sorry to those who read deep meaning into the part that painted me as a violent person. Believe me, if you know me in real life you would have laughed for 3hrs over that statement. I'm married to a man who I love beyond the word LOVE. I will NEVER hurt him. May God never allow me nuture such thoughts even though I'm under a spell.

Thanks to you all for the words of advice and encouragement. To answer some of your questions: yes I have a job, my husband has NEVER been much of the sex type right from the onset but he also doesn't ignore me or sleep in the sitting room like he does now. My problem is majorly the lack of affection and not just sex. I can stay for ages without sex but not when my husband is alive and sleeps under the same roof with me daily. It doesn't just seem right to me. I love my kids beyond words but the truth remains that I'm not married to them so they can't play the role of a husband. The funniest part of it all is that he goes on as if all is well.
Someone talked about men being distracted if they have a project at hand. Yes, we have a huge project at hand but I still do not see the connection. I can't masturbate or commit adultery but I can take a walk out of the marriage if things become unbearable for me. I just love him too much and he seems to be taking advantage of that. I NEVER threw myself at him. This life is such an irony because a lot of men are out there begging their wives for intimacy. I just pray he is not cheating on me because if I find out, his family will receive his corpse prematurely. That is one thing I am certain about.

Hello nairalanders, I just wish I'll get a shoulder or two to cry on tonight. Things are becoming unbearable for me and I don't know how far I can walk on these shoes. Here's my story...


I am 28 and married to a 35yr old youngman whom I love so dearly. We are blessed with 2 kids and most material things one can pray for. My marriage is 5yrs with just minor issues that do come up once in a VERY LONG while.

The problem is that my hubby does not show me affection and hardly approaches me for sex. I am a very neat, beautiful, Godfearing, educated and classy lady. Most times I am the one who initiates intimacy in our marriage. My heart breaks each time I read or hear of women who deny their husbands sex because its an opposite in my case. For more than two months now we've not been intimate. To make matters worse, he prefers to sleep in the sitting room or children's room than in our matrimonial room.

He always pretends to be tired but not too tired to be chatting on whatsapp with friends. I have his password, that is not an issue. I am not suspecting anything even though I'm not totally ruling out the possibility of adultery. He comes back very late in the night unlike before. Infact even when he comes early these days, he will rather stay with friends within the street or house than come inside. Believe me nairalanders, we don't have issues. Infact he keeps saying that God blessed him with a wonderful woman. It's not like I make the house uncomfortable for him. The only communication we have these days is greetings, asking how the day went or few general topics.

I am not a woman who can't do without sex but I just need to be shown affection even if sex is not there. Committing adultery on my own part is IMPOSSIBLE, i will rather opt for divorce. I am so confused, lonely and heartbroken. I love my husband beyond the word LOVE. I just wish he can see the tears in my eyes as I lay lonely on our bed each night. I am very fragile by nature and gets hurt easily. Believe me...this is killing me.

Please, people drop a word or two for a hurting soul.

My heart breaks for this innocent child and the family especially the mother. What will that woman be passing through now?

Thanks as I look forward to your advice.