nah this kind thing dey make person dey fear to marry.

Thanks to you all for the words of advice and encouragement. To answer some of your questions: yes I have a job, my husband has NEVER been much of the sex type right from the onset but he also doesn't ignore me or sleep in the sitting room like he does now. My problem is majorly the lack of affection and not just sex. I can stay for ages without sex but not when my husband is alive and sleeps under the same roof with me daily. It doesn't just seem right to me. I love my kids beyond words but the truth remains that I'm not married to them so they can't play the role of a husband. The funniest part of it all is that he goes on as if all is well.
Someone talked about men being distracted if they have a project at hand. Yes, we have a huge project at hand but I still do not see the connection. I can't masturbate or commit adultery but I can take a walk out of the marriage if things become unbearable for me. I just love him too much and he seems to be taking advantage of that. I NEVER threw myself at him. This life is such an irony because a lot of men are out there begging their wives for intimacy. I just pray he is not cheating on me because if I find out, his family will receive his corpse prematurely. That is one thing I am certain about.

We need to hear ur husband's side if the story... And, since he can't be here to drop it . .. I suggest you go tell someone he respect much and informally close to him as well. .. wen u tell him or her, the person will then invite ur husband to hear his side of the story . . From there, compromise will be reached...

Hi55:
Thanks to you all for the words of advice... I pray he is not cheating on me because if I find out, his family will receive his corpse prematurely. That is one thing I am certain about.

Haaaaaa, MUDERER in the house... DSS must pick u up. ..

Hi55:
Thanks to you all for the words of advice and encouragement. To answer some of your questions: yes I have a job, my husband has NEVER been much of the sex type right from the onset but he also doesn't ignore me or sleep in the sitting room like he does now. My problem is majorly the lack of affection and not just sex. I can stay for ages without sex but not when my husband is alive and sleeps under the same roof with me daily. It doesn't just seem right to me. I love my kids beyond words but the truth remains that I'm not married to them so they can't play the role of a husband. The funniest part of it all is that he goes on as if all is well.
Someone talked about men being distracted if they have a project at hand. Yes, we have a huge project at hand but I still do not see the connection. I can't masturbate or commit adultery but I can take a walk out of the marriage if things become unbearable for me. I just love him too much and he seems to be taking advantage of that. I NEVER threw myself at him. This life is such an irony because a lot of men are out there begging their wives for intimacy. I just pray he is not cheating on me because if I find out, his family will receive his corpse prematurely. That is one thing I am certain about.

Give him viagra, it will help.

If This Story is true...Trust me,Nairaland is provably the Worst place You should Ask for Advice....


Just Reading The comments here makes me Wanna Knock Some people....


Anyways...Back To You...Have You tried sitting him down n Really Talking to Him? Like Really talking to him? If He really Adores You...intimacy Shouldn't be a forced thing...I'm positive there's something behind it...Maybe adultery? some Unknown StD's or some Libido Issues?

is it food?

Reasons why ladies shud bt rush into marriage. Before u reach 30 d man go don tire. Take heart. There are 3 versions to this story tho ur version, his version and the truth

I read your post and felt your cries





Dear do you know this is exactly what am going through but some differences




Life is vice versa
Life is funny




Talk to him in private anyway and cry to him. You are not a fool by crying to him.



How i wish am loved like this

Hi55:
Hello nairalanders, I just wish I'll get a shoulder or two to cry on tonight. Things are becoming unbearable for me and I don't know how far I can walk on these shoes. Here's my story...


I am 28 and married to a 35yr old youngman whom I love so dearly. We are blessed with 2 kids and most material things one can pray for. My marriage is 5yrs with just minor issues that do come up once in a VERY LONG while.

The problem is that my hubby does not show me affection and hardly approaches me for sex. I am a very neat, beautiful, Godfearing, educated and classy lady. Most times I am the one who initiates intimacy in our marriage. My heart breaks each time I read or hear of women who deny their husbands sex because its an opposite in my case. For more than two months now we've not been intimate. To make matters worse, he prefers to sleep in the sitting room or children's room than in our matrimonial room.

He always pretends to be tired but not too tired to be chatting on whatsapp with friends. I have his password, that is not an issue. I am not suspecting anything even though I'm not totally ruling out the possibility of adultery. He comes back very late in the night unlike before. Infact even when he comes early these days, he will rather stay with friends within the street or house than come inside. Believe me nairalanders, we don't have issues. Infact he keeps saying that God blessed him with a wonderful woman. It's not like I make the house uncomfortable for him. The only communication we have these days is greetings, asking how the day went or few general topics.

I am not a woman who can't do without sex but I just need to be shown affection even if sex is not there. Committing adultery on my own part is IMPOSSIBLE, i will rather opt for divorce. I am so confused, lonely and heartbroken. I love my husband beyond the word LOVE. I just wish he can see the tears in my eyes as I lay lonely on our bed each night. I am very fragile by nature and gets hurt easily. Believe me...this is killing me.

Please, people drop a word or two for a hurting soul.

op if it makes u feel better, know dat ur marriage is not d only one having problems. Marriage sucks

Rape himm

Have you tried talking to your husband about how you feel? Especially without apportioning blames.

Hi55:
Hello nairalanders, I just wish I'll get a shoulder or two to cry on tonight. Things are becoming unbearable for me and I don't know how far I can walk on these shoes. Here's my story...


I am 28 and married to a 35yr old youngman whom I love so dearly. We are blessed with 2 kids and most material things one can pray for. My marriage is 5yrs with just minor issues that do come up once in a VERY LONG while.

The problem is that my hubby does not show me affection and hardly approaches me for sex. I am a very neat, beautiful, Godfearing, educated and classy lady. Most times I am the one who initiates intimacy in our marriage. My heart breaks each time I read or hear of women who deny their husbands sex because its an opposite in my case. For more than two months now we've not been intimate. To make matters worse, he prefers to sleep in the sitting room or children's room than in our matrimonial room.

He always pretends to be tired but not too tired to be chatting on whatsapp with friends. I have his password, that is not an issue. I am not suspecting anything even though I'm not totally ruling out the possibility of adultery. He comes back very late in the night unlike before. Infact even when he comes early these days, he will rather stay with friends within the street or house than come inside. Believe me nairalanders, we don't have issues. Infact he keeps saying that God blessed him with a wonderful woman. It's not like I make the house uncomfortable for him. The only communication we have these days is greetings, asking how the day went or few general topics.

I am not a woman who can't do without sex but I just need to be shown affection even if sex is not there. Committing adultery on my own part is IMPOSSIBLE, i will rather opt for divorce. I am so confused, lonely and heartbroken. I love my husband beyond the word LOVE. I just wish he can see the tears in my eyes as I lay lonely on our bed each night. I am very fragile by nature and gets hurt easily. Believe me...this is killing me.

Please, people drop a word or two for a hurting soul.

start wearing clothes like silk in d night I mean very tight silk T-shirt and very tight leather leggins in d night before he comes back....with this things like nippples etc will be very visible.... try this for 3days if doesn't make a move madam he either have problem with his manhood or he his cheating which in other news I'm available

In the case of affection whenever he his chatting on his phone you to pick your own and chat him on whatsapp.... better still early in d morning when he wakes up sit him down, then u sit on his laps ur hand around his neck and breasts rubbing his cheat and tell things that he has stop doing and things u will like him to be doing for u,pour out your mind, maybe this might work.

ojun50:
Wake ur man up around 1am nd discuss the issue with him after discussion leave the room then wait for another one hour u will see him coming to beg.

Op make yr discussion emotional

My dear, it does not always work that way o. It may even end up worsening it if he smells rudeness or you trying to manipulate him.

Ive seen a direct situo where the lady in question use non-verbal way. I.e writing briefly on paper and putting it where he could see it. Then she reduce the notes till twas only one word that invokes deep thought..... It worked on him

OP although you didn't say how long it's been happening,something could be troubling him just speak to him first before assuming things

Nobody has to know
We can keep it on the down low ...

U need to really find awaynof discussng tr pains with him. line of comunication has to be restored , thats when he qill be able to open up to you. U just hv to make him talk. create the outmosphere for it

Deefuray:
Rape himm

I'm pretty sure that is not the right thing to do regardless of the gender

KingEbukasBlog:


1. Has this been his attitude since you guys got married ?

2. If not , sit him down and talk to him . Communication is very important in relationships/marriage

3. Spice up your love/sex life cos apparently its boring ( you wouldn't be complaining if it was exciting )

4. Make him spend time with you and your kids . The love both of you have for the kids could rekindle that spark you once had in your marriage

5. Bringing private issues in a public forum could exacerbate the whole thing if he finds out that your description matches the current situation at home . Maybe through his friends he could see this post or whatever

6. Pray to God . If you are a christian pray to your God and tell him your problems . There are millions of testimonies concerning this issue .

7. This could be a test of how virtuous you are as a wife . Would you still able to be faithful to your husband if he continues to be like this ?

Took the words right out of my mouth...

Inbox ur no lets pray together

babysophie:
Face ur children n work if u v any,dress sexily n smart. If u nid sexual satisfaction den learn hw to masturbate n u will be too tired to fink of a husband hu doesn't v ur tym.

Did I hear you say ' masturbate' ?

My dear, you must have irritated ur husband by hurting him wickedly. My own story is even worse in marriage. I would rather Mastubate than have sex with my wife. I just don't feel her any longer after only a year in marriage. For her, she cheated and I just can't forgive her despite trying severally to move on.

KanwuliaJara:
Hmmmmm

Onoda wan don come o!
All these women wey dey look for love and affection from Naija men na waya o!

Una nefa learn to marry to get MARRIAGE SAFITIKATE and BORN ONLY?

Una mamas nor teasssssh una to loff una sefs?

You are "blessed" with 2 kids and you are on NL to cry for blokos?

Liar!!!!!
Ask any woman TRULY BLESSED WITH JUST ONE KID! Her attention done SHIFT tey tey to her darling pikin! E come be TWO KIDS?
Where da PHOCK do YOU find the time?
SHAMELESS, JOBLESS WOMAN!


Mtcheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!!!!


Song of the day!



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0te6iD1jCjM

You need to grow up..jst saying.

Hi55:
Thanks to you all for the words of advice and encouragement. To answer some of your questions: yes I have a job, my husband has NEVER been much of the sex type right from the onset but he also doesn't ignore me or sleep in the sitting room like he does now. My problem is majorly the lack of affection and not just sex. I can stay for ages without sex but not when my husband is alive and sleeps under the same roof with me daily. It doesn't just seem right to me. I love my kids beyond words but the truth remains that I'm not married to them so they can't play the role of a husband. The funniest part of it all is that he goes on as if all is well.
Someone talked about men being distracted if they have a project at hand. Yes, we have a huge project at hand but I still do not see the connection. I can't masturbate or commit adultery but I can take a walk out of the marriage if things become unbearable for me. I just love him too much and he seems to be taking advantage of that. I NEVER threw myself at him. This life is such an irony because a lot of men are out there begging their wives for intimacy. I just pray he is not cheating on me because if I find out, his family will receive his corpse prematurely. That is one thing I am certain about.

madam,in funny bone voice.idikwa wicked.u want ur husband to prematurely.

Madam,listen to me very very carefully. ......this thing you are experiencing now is called law of karma. think back and you will remember this thing that am telling you .when a true guy will love and be showing you girls love,you won't take him serious. ....you know your favorite quote na 'care,love and affection is not food and cloth'.that is why you are going after rich dudes,now you have realized that care,love and affection na food.abegi

you never know he could be gay... sadly sometimes that's the case

Please kindly call him and let both of you read this portion of the bible together.

1 Corinthian 7:2-5

Then get comments from each other and pray together.

Start ignoring him too and he will turn around.
I don't mean you shouldn't talk to him.
Do everything a wife is supposed to do for her hubby but act as if you've forgotten about the word 'sex'.
Also act very happy. Act like life has never been sweeter than now.
He will begin to get scared.
He will quickly turn around.
Some guys get bored with seeing same face daily.
It's a disorder.
Give him some challenges and he will wake up.
NB be prayerful while at it.
Thanks.

Hi55:
Hello nairalanders, I just wish I'll get a shoulder or two to cry on tonight. Things are becoming unbearable for me and I don't know how far I can walk on these shoes. Here's my story...


I am 28 and married to a 35yr old youngman whom I love so dearly. We are blessed with 2 kids and most material things one can pray for. My marriage is 5yrs with just minor issues that do come up once in a VERY LONG while.

The problem is that my hubby does not show me affection and hardly approaches me for sex. I am a very neat, beautiful, Godfearing, educated and classy lady. Most times I am the one who initiates intimacy in our marriage. My heart breaks each time I read or hear of women who deny their husbands sex because its an opposite in my case. For more than two months now we've not been intimate. To make matters worse, he prefers to sleep in the sitting room or children's room than in our matrimonial room.

He always pretends to be tired but not too tired to be chatting on whatsapp with friends. I have his password, that is not an issue. I am not suspecting anything even though I'm not totally ruling out the possibility of adultery. He comes back very late in the night unlike before. Infact even when he comes early these days, he will rather stay with friends within the street or house than come inside. Believe me nairalanders, we don't have issues. Infact he keeps saying that God blessed him with a wonderful woman. It's not like I make the house uncomfortable for him. The only communication we have these days is greetings, asking how the day went or few general topics.

I am not a woman who can't do without sex but I just need to be shown affection even if sex is not there. Committing adultery on my own part is IMPOSSIBLE, i will rather opt for divorce. I am so confused, lonely and heartbroken. I love my husband beyond the word LOVE. I just wish he can see the tears in my eyes as I lay lonely on our bed each night. I am very fragile by nature and gets hurt easily. Believe me...this is killing me.

Please, people drop a word or two for a hurting soul.