₦airaland Forum

RIP bro

Why re des pipo crying fowl? Is it Dickson's birth right to rule again d second time, let us remove dis idea of second tenur out of our politics. If dickson merit to be der a second time, he don't need to be frightened cos its not selection now, its election. Mayb dis man now get how he gets money or contract from Dickson so ooo.. Corrupt polithiefians

O boy eh! See market. If d owner of that resturant still after all des lifetime opportunity still run dat dat resturant, God sef go vex for am. If any boi dey date deir daughter, hold her strong oo cos na next billionair pikin u dey date oo...

Farewell mr president and ur household... Wish u well . I dedica. te dis FP to my future wife and family and to those FP hustlers dt are busy wit chilled bottle on der table

NOUN want to go for NYSC where Part-Time students are not even allowed to. U had it spelt out that no NYSC for NOUN graduates before u went ahead to purchase ur form after reading and agreeing to the terms and condition... who ever that demonstrate should be penalise. If anything can be done about this NYSC stuff, its a matter of the derectors of this program peacefully hold meeting with NUC to decide it if they may consider it. Let's stop taking laws into our hand and stop being clueless. Na so I see am

subterfuge:
SAY WHAT EVER RUBBISH YOU WANT TO SAY.
OSHIMOHLE JUST SAVED HIMSELF FROM THE SHARP- SHARP EDO GIRLS. WHO ONLY SPECIALIZE IN RUNS FOR CASH. REMEMBER THE EDO GIRLS ALL OVER ITALY?
GOD BLESS YOU OSHIOMOHLE THAT YOU DID NOT FALL FOR THOSE ""ITALO "" EDO GIRLS.
PRETTY SWEET WIFE.
EDO GIRLS STAY CLEAR O!!!

O boy, u well so?

Better for the guy... Women too get wahala. Now he will get there a bit earlier

May your soul RIP... Really sad one

A little humour

Marriage Software

This is what a guy wrote to a Systems Analyst -
(Marriage Software Div);

Dear Systems Analyst,

I am desperate for some help! I recently upgraded my program from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began unexpected Child Processing and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure. In addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during systems initialization and then it monitors all other system activities.

Applications such as "Boys' Night out 2.5" and "Golf 5.3" no longer run, and crashes the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate selected "Soccer 6.3" always fails and "Shopping 7.1" runs instead. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favorite applications. Be it online or offline.

I am thinking of going back to "Girlfriend 7.0", but uninstall doesn't work on this program. Can you please help?

.... The Systems Analyst replied:

Dear Customer,

This is a very common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding of the functions of the Wife 1.0 program. Many customers upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITY AND ENTERTAINMENT PROGRAM. Actually, Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its Creator to run everything on your current platform.

You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0, as Wife 1.0 was not designed to do this and it is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the System once it is installed.

Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but have ended up with even more problems. (See manual under Alimony/Child Support and Solicitors' Fees).

Having Wife 1.0 installed, I recommend you keep it Installed and deal with the difficulties as best as you can. When any faults or problems occur, whatever you think has caused them, you must run the.........

C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME.EXE Program and avoid attempting to use the *Esc-Key for it will freeze the entire system.

It may be necessary to run C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME.EXE a number of times, and eventually hope that the operating system will return to normal.

Wife 1.0, although a very high maintenance programme, can be very rewarding.

To get the most out of it, consider buying additional Software such as "Flowers 2.0" and "Chocolates 5.0" or "HUGS\ KISSES 600.0" or "TENDERNESS\ UNDERSTANDING 1000.0" or even Eating Out Without the Kids 7.2.1" (if Child processing has already started).

DO NOT under any circumstances install "Secretary 2.1" (Short Skirt Version) or "One Nightstand 3.2" (Any Mood Version), as this is not a supported Application for Wife 1.0 and the system will almost certainly CRASH.

BEST WISHES!

Yours,

Systems Analyst.


HAPPY NEW MONTH OF MAY

Nigeria, the biggest ecomony in Africa, yet nothing to show. biggest economy in d pockets of polithiefcians. God ho judge dem

Just as buhari failed to show up in presidentil debate, so sha his supporters fail to show up to vote him on march 28..amen

she wan form over sabi woman. she sef go put fried akara on yams chips dt has not bn fried ooo...

RIP

Love, beauty and lust

Everyone here is laying insults on him, y? But u and I knw dat ll he said is true. And what's d big deal? If president feels Jega is working for any party with proofs, he need not gamble with his removal for a more credible election. My guy, make una think and don't b one way sided

Happy Birthday to the man of valour, d man worthy of my honour, the man God himself visited, the man who knows his calling.. My mentor, my intercessor, my daddy, my pastor.... Happy birthday sir.... U ve prosperity itself, so my wish for u is longlife and more grace...

In civil service, swhen u work till 60yrs, u are expected to retire cos its asume u can no longer be able to be at ur peak.... Even proff who has read to d peak are made to retire at 70yrs. I wonder how buharidinko who is 72yrs think he can rule nt jst a classroom bt d nation. And mind u, if he happens to win, na 8yrs things. So what do young and vibrant Nigerians expect from an 80yrs man. Na wa

I knw Tinubu is 100% clean ooo. Bt make una help me ask am weda na he money he take fix those roads. Why was he voted for as governor? Na wa 4 dis holy man oo. May God 4giv u 4 u do nt knw wt u r doing.

[b][/b]Here are some of the harmful effects of masturbation to be
considered, kindly read and stop doing masturbation once again.
Make your impression in the comments.
1. Masturbation makes you weak, it spends more energy
and burns your calorie
2. Masturbation creates nervousness and neurological
problems
3. Masturbation is a main cause for erectile dysfunction.
4. Masturbation addicts you even if you taste it for one time.
Controlling it is a very big menace.
5. Masturbation creates drowsiness; you will be sleeping
most of the time after ejaculation of your sperm. You will
experience a damn tired.
6. Masturbation causes stress and strain in your mind and
soul.
7. Masturbation also affects us psychologically; it creates
depression after ejaculation and makes one to feel bad on his
own.
8. Getting red hot while masturbating will give a bad name
in your surroundings and it is indecent too.
9. Masturbation cannot be done simply, it needs to see,
touch, indulge or at least think of a sexual practice/ sex organs
of the opposite sex. This is more harmful that the image in your
memory that you see could not be erased easily. This will lead
you to a noxious problem that you cannot see any girl/ lady/
women without a single thought i.e., sex.
10. Masturbation creates an urge to do indefinitely; it doesn’t
see the place, people and culture. It makes you to fell in a worse
sexual problem if chance knocks the door.
11. Masturbation leads you to illegal contacts because the urge
increases day by day and finally will lead to the search of a
source for sexual pleasure.
12. Masturbation is the main reason for speedy sperm release
during sexual intercourse. It will create dissatisfaction to you
and to your wife.
13. Over masturbation reduces your sperm count. Couples
who desire to get pregnant should not masturbate.
14. Seminal fluid that gets released on masturbation contains
proteins that are needed for many metabolic activities and cell
formations. Proteins are the building blocks of our body;
ejaculation often will create you to be lean and distracts your
metabolism of muscle building.
15. Ethically masturbation is wrong; you think of X/Y and do
sex of your own. This hinders your values and respect on
others. May be you are good in all other regard but will end up
in a great problem if not concerned to stop this habit.
16. Masturbation wastes your time and makes you useless.
17. The pleasure of masturbation never lasts for a long time.
18. Masturbation creates more problems as you lose your
memory and thought provoking ability.
19. Masturbation is not the end for your desire; you may be
fooled by your own practice. It will never give you a solution or
a satisfaction but seems that it gives.
20. It is not needed in any way to your sexual life that it has to
be practiced without fail.
21. Guys who masturbate will lose interest in sex with their
wife very soon. They can’t feel pleasurable for a long time.
22. Masturbation induces homosexuals in schools, colleges
and hostels. Many times the latter creates sexually transmitted
diseases like VD, syphilis, AIDS etc.Here are some of the harmful effects of masturbation to be
considered, kindly read and stop doing masturbation once again.
Make your impression in the comments.
1. Masturbation makes you weak, it spends more energy
and burns your calorie
2. Masturbation creates nervousness and neurological
problems
3. Masturbation is a main cause for erectile dysfunction.
4. Masturbation addicts you even if you taste it for one time.
Controlling it is a very big menace.
5. Masturbation creates drowsiness; you will be sleeping
most of the time after ejaculation of your sperm. You will
experience a damn tired.
6. Masturbation causes stress and strain in your mind and
soul.
7. Masturbation also affects us psychologically; it creates
depression after ejaculation and makes one to feel bad on his
own.
8. Getting red hot while masturbating will give a bad name
in your surroundings and it is indecent too.
9. Masturbation cannot be done simply, it needs to see,
touch, indulge or at least think of a sexual practice/ sex organs
of the opposite sex. This is more harmful that the image in your
memory that you see could not be erased easily. This will lead
you to a noxious problem that you cannot see any girl/ lady/
women without a single thought i.e., sex.
10. Masturbation creates an urge to do indefinitely; it doesn’t
see the place, people and culture. It makes you to fell in a worse
sexual problem if chance knocks the door.
11. Masturbation leads you to illegal contacts because the urge
increases day by day and finally will lead to the search of a
source for sexual pleasure.
12. Masturbation is the main reason for speedy sperm release
during sexual intercourse. It will create dissatisfaction to you
and to your wife.
13. Over masturbation reduces your sperm count. Couples
who desire to get pregnant should not masturbate.
14. Seminal fluid that gets released on masturbation contains
proteins that are needed for many metabolic activities and cell
formations. Proteins are the building blocks of our body;
ejaculation often will create you to be lean and distracts your
metabolism of muscle building.
15. Ethically masturbation is wrong; you think of X/Y and do
sex of your own. This hinders your values and respect on
others. May be you are good in all other regard but will end up
in a great problem if not concerned to stop this habit.
16. Masturbation wastes your time and makes you useless.
17. The pleasure of masturbation never lasts for a long time.
18. Masturbation creates more problems as you lose your
memory and thought provoking ability.
19. Masturbation is not the end for your desire; you may be
fooled by your own practice. It will never give you a solution or
a satisfaction but seems that it gives.
20. It is not needed in any way to your sexual life that it has to
be practiced without fail.
21. Guys who masturbate will lose interest in sex with their
wife very soon. They can’t feel pleasurable for a long time.
22. Masturbation induces homosexuals in schools, colleges
and hostels. Many times the latter creates sexually transmitted
diseases like VD, syphilis, AIDS etc.

Respect!! RIP bro for ur sefless work towards d safety of Nigeria... A real soldier rsedomly get to the position of a general. 1 luv

OBJ is too old for the press to take his actions serious. he is as old as one poor man in d village whose actions are not taken seriously. Its only a pity that in Nigeria, great-grand parents with their childish brain as a result of old age are still the ones handling our helms of affair in this.

I had a further maths teacher then, anytime he is teaching he will always say"I dont want to hear KUEN KUEN from you" as to I dont want to hear any noise.. So ww nick named him uncle kuen kuen

Police uncover 19 bombs in Yola
The Adamawa State Commissioner of Police, Gabriel Adaji, on
Friday said the command has discovered 19 high calibre bombs
with which the Boko Haram insurgents were planning to launch
attacks on the troubled Northeastern state.
Adaji told journalists during a news briefing that the bombs
were discovered in Hong Local Government Area of the state.
He noted that the bombs were ready to be used when they were
detected, stressing that they were at 90 per cent completion and
only needed to be connected to batteries to detonate.
The commissioner who suspected that the terror group wanted
to use the bombs to disrupt the forthcoming elections, revealed
that the police in the state worked on a hint in the media last
week that some suspected suicide bombers were apprehended
by soldiers in Yola, and that some of the insurgents were still at
large within the town.
“This made us to beam our searchlight on some of the spots,” he
said.
“Something that would have caused a sorrow to the state was
averted. One of the bombs is capable of bringing down a 10-
storey building.”
Adaji said many people would have been killed and several
properties destroyed had the terrorists succeeded in their
attempt.
He said the insurgents wanted to blow up strategic structures
including the over one kilometre River Benue Bridge linking the
state capital with Modibbo Adama University of Technology,
Yola and Mubi area.
“The bombs have been detonated by the anti-bomb squad of the
state police command, the feat has averted a major calamity
because some of the bombs were capable of destroying a ten-
storey building” he said
He noted that the bombs were on the verge of being transported
to various parts of Yola before they were discovered, adding
that the smallest among them can completely destroy structures
within 200 metre radius.

what's the big deal about soldiers attacking him? Abi na u good gor soldiers to attack? Hes a Nigerian like us now

I feel there is a mistake somewhere, its suppose to be Amechi or fashola... Currupt people that keep calling others corrupt.

T.B. Joshua is a man of wisdom oooo

Pipo don xperience things sha oo! A relationship of 2months will brk up and some pipo want to commit suicide. My guy, its a pity, he shouldn't jst do his revenge all by himself cos she must definitely get a pay back of something worse...

[color=#000099][/color]

U b woman? Is he d only governor.... He even sounds as if he's d best governor. Jonathan ur one time best president has suddenly become d worst president in ur corrupt eyes... Fix ur state first b4 purknosin.... This man no get wife to advice am sef? Greedy people

Its nt jst all abt talking to the gallary... Its all abt talking sensible talk.... Shakaru talks intelligently... Oshiomolo talks what d public rili wants to hear and usually nt frm his hrt... Dnt knw much of Fashola bt Okorocha seems a passionate man... Obahiagbon own na dictionary wey he dey study dey wory am

May her gentle soul RIP.... And may God give d family fortitude to bear d huge loss....