₦airaland Forum

pDude: @Hummingbird

Sweets, don't you ever bow to any pressure to abort that child. I know you are going thru a lot of pain and mixed emotions, but I can assure you of one thing: the moment that child comes out of you and is placed in your arms, that will be the best feeling you have in your life.

I am talking from experience.


I cried like a baby in front of nurses, doctors, etc just after my wife gave birth (me wey dey always do macho) and my child was placed in my arms. Nothing else mattered anymore. The feeling is worth experiencing.

criously cnt wait for d baby to come,@least al dis wil end n I wil av smthn to show for it....lyk criously did u rily cry(men dnt cry I heard)...dis baby is cmin to stay..tnk u

pDude: Hmmmm. You sound so sweet and polite. Who is the a$$hole who did this to you?

My dear, don't back down from this fight o! You dint impregnate urself. Any man who won't use a condom should stand up and face the consequences. Dont play softy softy with him o, or else he will leave you to fend for the child. Gather your parents and relatives and take a trip to see his family so that plans can be made.

Gone are the days when a guy will deny belle and go scotfree. My dear, shine your eye and stand up for your right. There is nothing to be ashamed of. To carry belle nor be moimoi. Other women dey find am. I had an aunt who lived and died a miserable life because she couldn't give birth. Stand up for your right.

Nothing dey happen.

I dnt evn nid im takin up d responsibilities of bin a fada..al I nid is im aceptn d paternity of d child...n if he dsnt..i wil fil bad bt wnt hold it up against im considern d fact d dat d 4yrs I spent in luv wit im was xctin n luv fild..(for a child wus mum isnt dia,n wus fada is a chronic ajala)I'L try nt 2 hate him cos of ma unborn child..sinc we gav dis baby lyf 2geda...

nikkykay: I like ur dad's spirit! If e likes let him show up or not!
U must b a wonderful girl 4considering ur mum despite ur past wit eachother! Its good u want her close to u 2knw abt ur childhood so as 2check out traits in ur baby whn she is born! Very nice of u! Am sure ds is d time she wil show u d love she denied u yrs back!
Wot did ur dad say abt ur job?! Or u aint interested again?!

ryt nw ma dad tinks d first tin to do is mov ova to ma mum's(sinc he's nt always) @om..he said wen I get to my mum's den we'l discuss wat nxt to do..n sinc no one knws me wia ma mum stays..teachin wil b d best opt for me

pDude: Nna mehn!

So this seasonal film don enter season 17

@Op if you like keep exposing your life on nairaland, na you sabi.

I quite undastnd wat u're tryin to say..bt dias no essence covering a secret dat wil soon or later b xposed(u cnt hide bin pregnant for long)..again,fr me writin hia means a lot to me,@least dia pple hia wu av bin in ma shoes befor,dia sm dat r going tru d sam tin,xo we can rub minds togeda n so dat I wnt mak a choice I wil foreva regret.n in d end so dat I wil b able to smile(n I bliv wit d helps of ma e-friends n family)dat wil b posible..tnk u

uyiekpenm: Dear hummingbird
Am really sorry for what ur passing through. Don't worry, it is well. May God see u thru dis pregnancy and may u deliver a healthy child. Pls take good care of urself and try to forget dat BASTARD dat put u in this condition.

tnk u very much...bt he isn't a bastard..dnt rily knw wat cam over him

nikkykay: Has d guy called u since u sent him d sms?! If not I doubt if he wl cme 2c ur dad! But dnt let me conclude yet! Call his mum & tell her ur dad wants 2c him as well so dat his parents won't say dey ddnt knw he was asked 2cme! I dnt knw hw u can cope wit ur mum but u need somebody ard u esp ur 1st trimester. Pls learn 2love ur mum. U can as well go 2her place 4 awhile & cme back 2ur place if u knw u aint going 2get along wit her. She can always cme as well 2spend time wit u!
Let's see hw d meeting btw d 2 families goes over d wkend! I hope dey wl show up sha!

ma dad said even if he doesnr show up,@least hs families wil know dat dey av a child outside..about ma mom,I am rily considering going to her..since we've neva bin togeda before..I tink its tym we knw each oda more(I wnt to hear d funny stories of ma childhood)morova she's a nurse(matron)in a teaching hospital..she wil luk afta me very we'll...hopefuly...tnk u al

bengreat: OP you seem a very nice person and it's a pity you're going thru this but i pray you'd be happy at last.

amen..tnk u very much..God b wit u too

pheyikemi: when a teratogen e.g drugs, radiations like x-rays cause malformation in fetus, d fetus may exhibit features like phocomelia (wen the limbs become extremely short, hole in the heart, cleft lip, cleft palate etc

aite..tnx..I dnt even lyk swaloing drugs befor sef

pheyikemi: when a teratogen e.g drugs, radiations like x-rays cause malformation in fetus, d fetus may exhibit features like phocomelia (wen the limbs become extremely short, hole in the heart, cleft lip, cleft palate etc

aite..tnx

pheyikemi: . Just make sure u dnt do any self prescription pls, esp at ds stage, d 1st trimester, cos any drug u use at ds stage may become teratogenic, except ur doctor says itz ok to use it. Teratogens cause birth defects in d fetus

wats teratogenic pls

nikkykay: Nope!5wks is not 2 early! Dey wl even ask u 2do scan 2 check d sac & see if foetus is found!
Ask u 2run some tests! 5wks is not 2early dear!
Just b @rest & enjoy d next 38wks
Like dyt & pheyikemi said dnt do any self prescription pls cos it may cause defect! Even paracetamol, u need 2let ur doc knw first!
Instd of seein a doc 2mrw, visit d ante natal section! D doc wl only tell u its a normal symptom!

aite..jst finishe twkn to ma dad ooo...he wnts me to go ova to ma mum since she lives alone..dat I told him I doubt can rily work,av neva livd wit ha for mor dan a week though of recent we communicate we'll on fone nw..Again,he insists he must c d fada of ma baby so I'm n hs family r cmin ova ds wikend..I tod I'm I dnt wnt to go bk to I'm cos he told me point blank dat he didn't love me anymor..ma dad blivs m emotional cos of my present state..we r stil dragin dat nw..I knw he wnts d best for me bt...abt d mawnin sickness(dis one is even tru d whole day)we r going to c doc tomoro(bt nt antenatal yet)..he's d most caring father on planet earth n I fil lyk av betrayed him

Dyt: 5weeks u say too early?
Muhehhehehehhehehe
U want to hear my story?
Frm 4weeks-28weeks, I was beggin God
Till I put to bed
Bt thnk God, all is history now
D joy surpasses it all

wat I xperinced today ehn..if it hapens tomoro,den I av to go n c a doctor cos am nt rily a fan of pain at al

nikkykay: Ok np! I wish u all d best wit ur dad!
I hav told u alrdy u hav 2b strong! Dnt forget ur baby needs food 2grow as well! So as u r vomitting, make sure u r refilling ur stomach! Dats d more reason u need 2visit d hspital!
Pele all wil b well

dnt u tink 5weeks is too early to register in d ospital?

nikkykay:
You r 100% okay my dear! That is beginning into d journey of motherhood.
U wil going thru ds in ur first 3-4 mths. Pele
U can try water melon to gve u back d fluid u r losing. I used to eat a whole pod dn . try to eat different fruits
Mine sickness was not only in d morning, it was 24/7
Asper ur job, u dnt need to work ard ur area. I tot u said u stay alone? is ur place close to ur dad's house?
You can go 2 another area to work. Like if u stay in Yaba, u can go look for work on Island or Surulere.
You need to leave home to keep urself busy.
Altho as ur pregnancy grows older, u start to feel weaker esp during ur 1st trimester cos u r alrdy experiencing morning since and dat wont b welcome in working environment. Very u wil start spitting around
So mayb now u need to stay @home and rest. I think u wil need dat alot depending how d pregnancy treats u. Wot am saying is dat u may find out u dnt need a job later on.
If u r Christian, u can start going to church for morning programs to just leave home. Ur dad mayb happy wit u if he sees u as a godly lady now.
You shld start ur ante natal class @ ds stage cos dre r medicines dat u wil b given to help u & ur growing baby girl

awww...dis is going to be crious ooo...as per d job..m seeing ma dad tonight...he jst cam bk..we live very close,in d same nebohood..he owns d ous m stayin..I jst pray d mawnin sicknes doesn't continue lyk dis oo,I nearly vomited ma intestine today..(Wil kip u posted abt wateva he says in d evenin)I cnt bt apriciate you..tnk u

thorpido: Pregnancy symptoms u're experiencing.It's normal.If u however feel any severe discomfort,see a doctor.

xo earlyjst five weeks..dis wil be xoxo....

nikkykay:
Experience is d most outstanding teacher in life. Thanks tho!

Yes i support ur dad if he stops u from going to d office. U r alone now and loneliness can really weigh u down dreby making u to think wrongly.
Like someone said, since u r educated, look 4 a school where u can teach i mean a nursery/primary sch. This is even give u d opportunity to learn more abt children. Dnt mind ur salary.
Beg ur dad not to stop the salary he is giving u as his worker.
Going to learn anythg now can b so boring so i wont support dat.
I pray u get a teaching job cos it wil even give u time to rest.
Put ur trust in God and He wil surprise u in a miraculous way. Trust me it works

bout dat teaching..criously ma dad wnt alow dat,he's very popular in ma area,xo he wudnt wnt me to do dat..so mayb u'l sugest any oda tin I can do dat he wil b apy wit...plus m I rily ok?eva since I brushed ma teeth dis mawnin,av bn trowin up,evrytn I eat sims nt to setle in ma tommy even til nw..I dnt fil comfortable until I trow it al out..tnk u

Abbott: Well, if you are appropriately qualified, you should take up teaching. It is engaging and sort of therapeutic especially if they are children or adolescents. You also get to impart their lives, positively o. Otherwise, go learn something new, an instrument(Keyboard), a new language or join a new appropriate professional group and write their exams.

aite..tnx..wil b considering it

nikkykay:

Good & u r fortunate dat his family is giving u listening ears but dnt do as if u need them for anythg just for dm to know u r carrying dir child. But dont rely on dm too much please. And the only reason dat cbhuld shld bear dir name is if dey are responsible for him or her from now on.
U dont need dem to persuade him like i said earlier.
He has moved on for him to delete u from fb & co just like mine 2
Make sure every msg u r sending to his pple r archived, if possible ur conversations on d phone and the one dey wil hv wit ur dad.
Please dnt dream of settling down wit dat guy. Even if he decides to take up his responsibilities, open an account dat he can always drop money for you.
Things to keep u busy?
Aint u working? if u r, just concentrate on ur work! u go in d mor, come back in d eve! that shld keep u busy enuff.
It wl get 2 a stage in d pregnancy dat u wont like to do anythg depending on ur body but just b strong.
Or wot r u doing presently?

M workin for ma dad,he's into haulaging..so am his p.a/secretary/accountant...xo its nt lyk I go to work evryday..he actualy hs a seretary/accountant..he only fixd me up wen I ws always indoor...ma dad ws actualy planin to tak me out of d country..bt dis pregnancy hs ruined eveytin(though I dnt regret caryin a child in me)..bk to ma question...wat else can I do dan siting down out @ om(cos I knw dat wil b ma dad's nxt instruction)he may even ban me from going to work nw,since I do little or ntn @ work before...tnk u

biolabee: op pls ignore last post

tnx

nikkykay: I think it is better d way you told him for future reference. He ddnt pick call dnt ever call him again.
You have dropped sms 4him dats fine. Send him an email abt the pregnancy again then keep the mail as well
As for me i hav all over conversations both on BB (thank God for saved history) & emails. So as my child is growing up to know anythg, i wil show her all ds as evidences.
HAve u informed any of his family members? i think u shld carry dem along as well. Let them know u aint telling them to persuade him but 2 let them know cos of the future.
His own family was aware but dey neglected me and nobody came for the naming or ask till now if i had dat child or not. SO you can imagine wot i went thru emotionally. But i appreciate my family more cos the least expected ones call me from time to time and send money to me.Infact God has bn faithful.

Please be strong and forget heart break for now. Think of wot u r going to go thru during dat pregnancy. Your environment, peple ard u esp if u r staying wit ur parents cos If u r staying alone, it is better and ur friends as well.
I was alone all thru mine cos i was staying alone. Am a reserved person in d house i was dn so nobody culd confront me let alone insult me. I dont keep friends like dat. People even respected me more cos of the way i carried myself till i put to bed. I left dat area later cos i dnt want the guy to trace me.

You need to be very strong if u consider ursef an emotional personal.
One thing shld keep you moving on now, dat CHILD!! Ur joy wil start d day u see d heartbeat, it wil increase the day u feel d movement and ur joy wil be full d day u bring a soul to ds world.

I av d txt msgs I sent im on ma fone,facebuk msgs too,I screengrapd al d msgs he sent on bbm n watsapp too...jst lyk u said,I wil send im a mail cos of future refrences...I stay alone too...av contactd hs mum n siblings...ma dad tod he had too,xo dey r cmin ova 2c ma dad ds wikend(wil kip u updated)...m going 2do evrytn posible 2b strng 4 ma baby...cnt wait to av d bundle of joy in ma arms...m nt calin im again,av even deletd hs no,he hs dltd me 4rm hs bbm n fb list too...al I jst wnt is if u can advise me on tins 2do 2kip me busy...tnk u xo much

Idowuogbo: Don't call him again, ok? Enough is a enough. Move on!!!!!

yes ma'am

Abbott: OP, you get family support, get friend support, get nairaland support join sef...no mess up o....as NL don turn to eGodparents. Enjoy!

infact nairalanders ar d best...i apriciate u al..n I knw d nxt 8mths,u'l al b by ma syd....tnk u al

chidyhels: 4 me i will advs u let him knw ur keeping the baby,but pls dont entertain the thought of spending ur life with him,hs only going to do that out of pity. Its definitely going to boomerang one day. Jst let go, ur true drm man will find you.

hmmm...word for the wise...I cald im,he didnt pik,xo i drpd a msg,i tod im m caryn hs baby,jst felt lyk he shd knw cos av made a dcision to kip d baby...he hsnt replied sha

Idowuogbo: Tell him! but... dont expect much from him.

y u ignoring ur dad's call? u scared?

no no ma dad is mst undastndn man,I jst tink ma mum is bin nice cos of ha past deeds..ma dad jst dropd a mesage dat he's drivin,he said ma mum tod I'm of wat apnd..he wil b calin me soon

Idowuogbo: Tell him! but... dont expect much from him.

y u ignoring ur dad's call? u scared?

no no,my dad is the most undastndn man on earth..my mum is jst tryin to b nice cos of ha past deeds

Idowuogbo: Jeez! now u no, wot are ur plans so far? u told any friends or family yet? u schooling or working?

told ma mum straight away..av nt bin able to contact ma sis..I dnt rily kip friends bt d only close one I av folowed me to d clinic today..I knw ma dad wud av bin aware cos I saw hs misd cals,av bn tryin to cal bk,bt d ntwk is bad..the only person left is d father of my baby..dnt rily knw if I shd tel I'm nw or stil wait a bit

Idowuogbo: dis just got me awwed.. gal, f'up mehn...

anyways.. first thing first, go do a pregnancy test! dont sit dere assuming u pregnant, you need to know if u are or not.

weneva I misd ma period..it mins jst one tin..av taken in..jst to clear al doubt...I went for a test today n twas positive..from wat I calculated wit d nurse on duty,am five weeks pregnant

To all does who av commented to ds post,I apriciate it..thnk u very much..I knw wats ahead of me..av seen pple who av babies outsyd wedlock,I knw its nt smthn dats rosy..but one tin I knw for sure..m stil hurt nw,filin betrayed..bt d even dat even d darkest night wil pass n d sun wil shine again..once again..thnk you all

Dyt: Hav bn foolish too sometimes
So is every other person
Jst dat our foolishness differs

Op, d Lord is ur strength

amen..thnk you very much

biolabee: Dear Hummingbird

I can only just imagine how fragile your heart must be for u to have chosen this moniker

However you have to be hard from now

If you are Pregnant
Steel your mind aand prepare for the worst case scenario

Labelled a slut or viewed as a ho for getting pregnant, various deprivations of job, career opportunities, potential husbands who cant be a father to another mans child and then the child will want to seek out his nonsense father
People i know have lost out on interviews because they had to be with children

Best case scenario: the sky is the limit, your support system will help you throughout this time and you will obtain sufficient economic empowerment so you will be a liability to no one (Amen).
Also when a single mum is ok financially, its not such a far flung idea to actually get a husnabd.. we guys are madt sha

Note i use the worst case scenario so u can see what is ahead of you



if you are not pregnant, break off the bloody scum and go an sin no more

it is well with you

amen..thank you very much..I knw I av a crious task ahead of me..dats so sure

Idowuogbo: omg! dis geh dey craze o! u've done 3 abortions? and u still went ahead knacking without condom? geh, u is some stupid azz. piss off mehn! msteeew!

wen we first met,he ws using protection bt d lubricant ws irritatin me..so I later opted for contraceptives..bt it kept failing me..d kind of person I am,even a smal drop maks me pregnant..

nikkykay: Please ladies we dont hv 2 condemn her for having 3 abortions for a guy. Do u know how many some have done wit different guys. For the fact dat she decided to spread her dirty linen outside here doesnt mean we shld condemn her.
Now that she has come to her senses, she has decided to keep ds one cos she knw what she had lost in d past and wot d repercussion culd ne if she tried to abort ds one again.
We are all guilty of one sin or the other so we shldnt just throw stones anyhow.
1 , 2 ,3,4,etc is all sin and it culd even happen whn dey were in school
And now dat she is independent and now that she can afford to take care of the child, she decided to keep it.
Do u know hw fertile she is? some ladies can go a yr without protection and dey wil not get pregnant while some can get 2ice in a month. I used to hv a friend like dat. We called her pig

@ biolabee
Thanks jare! I got in touch wit him dn cos my family said i shld let him know d child had been born but ds didnt change him at all.
My prayer is dat we shldnt meet him again in life. I dont pray he needs our help for anythg. I

for me comin hia n askin for advic ws a rily hard for me to do..I knw sm pple wil condemn,som wil even mock me..jst lyk u've said let he wu is witout sin be d first to cast d stone..al wat I nid isn't pity or insults..we al av skeletons in our cupboards too..m nt proud of wat I did in d past bt d only reason y I cam hia is becos I wnt pple to advis me,I dnt want to mak anoda mistak,even nw dat m bringin in an innocent soul into d scene.d truth is m a real pig..tnk u