₦airaland Forum

boboLIL:
Bloody paedophile**

touching the girl's breast doesn't make him a pedophile. This is not just true in Nigeria but everywhere if we want to do something seriously about rape and child molestation we need to stop labeling everybody a pedophile. Doesn't mean the man didn't do wrong and shouldn't be properly punished--but a pedophile -- probably not -- that's not how they operate. A rapist more likely but how rapists who prey on children and pedophiles operate are quite different. Pedophiles gain and then betray the trust of their victims-- rapists often don't bother with gaining the trust of their victims-- they just attack.

Pedophiles don't see anything wrong with what they do -- it's society which has got in wrong and unlike rapists who seek power over their victims the pedophile sees himself as and identifies with his victims. Pedophiles identify with their victims and blame society. Rapists identify with society and blame their victims

Can they be both? yes. but mostly they're of a different breed--both are evil but one tends to be more violent-- the rapist

Here is what I would do

Let all past incidents go. don't punish him for them but make it clear to him stealing is morally wrong and if he steals again he will be punished

Pray for him, provide him with guidance and counseling if would help him

Let him know in return for meeting expectations which would include not stealing he will gain certain rewards such as more trust and privileges

Inform him of consequences if he again steals-- which would include corporal punishment as well as loss of privileges and trust

If you flog him combine it with other tools of discipline

if the girl feels guilty about men glaring at her buttocks maybe she should stop showing them off

been reading about this subject-- used to be in America a teenage girl caught self servicing would have her clitoris burned. But then I've also read removing the clit enhances sexual pleasure.

plendil:
wow!!!




if they were being circumcised, wont they be screaming and struggling?

I could deal with the screaming but would insist on the girl being held down and restrained so she couldn't move before cutting her. And I wouldn't have them lined up in plain sight of the woman getting her clit removed. they can't help hearing the screams but you don't have to make them watch it

afolwalex20:
Ok...

People who want to deal with this issue should understand it is deeply rooted in cultural tradition dating back-- perhaps 10,000 or more years- that the term female genital mutilation is extremely inflammatory and it is the description first adopted by radical American feminists back in the 1970s and has since been adopted by many Western governments and activists as a propaganda and fund raising device. Social scientists and other more objective observers prefer the phrase female genital cutting- a much less inflammatory description

One of the current myths being perpetuated against the practice by both Islamophobes and radical Islamic clerics for substantially different reasons is that the practice is a tenet of Islamic faith. It's not. The practice predates Islam by thousands of years; it is not part of the cultural tradition in many Muslim territories outside of Africa. In Africa it's practice occurs fairly equally among Muslims, Roman Catholics, Protestant evangelicals, and indigenous religions. One area where there seems to be a substantial difference among the different faiths is among better educated and more affluent women. Among these women--Muslim women are much more likely to be circumcised. Among less educated and poor women there really isn't much difference between the different faiths

That radical Muslim clerics and better educated and more affluent Muslim women are embracing female circumcision and again not entirely for the same reasons may be explained as a reaction to Western attacks on Islam

I think the answer to this practice is increased education about the risks as well as the benefits (the risks are real-- the benefits mostly perceived What should be avoided is ethnocentrism and what should be embraced is a respect for self determination among the people of a community. If a community can be persuaded to and wants to ban cutting-- fine. If it wants to continue the practice then it should be made much safer then it currently is in most areas where it's practiced

Laurence1:
How can it still be rapewhy didn't she report the matter to the police

because this child went there voluntarily and didn't report it to the police does not mean she wasn't raped. Even if she voluntarily opened her legs for one or more of the boys doesn't mean she wasn't raped by other boys

And just because the girl committed a crime by being with the boys or more precisely by joining a cult is not a reason to excuse rape. Even if she had committed adultery and was scheduled to be stoned it doesn't mean another man couldn't have raped her.

ignis:
How is that rape? She voluntary committed herself to them.

still can be rape

YINKS89:
I was going out this morning and saw an SS1 student been scolded for bed wetting, and i thought to my self that can someone still be bed wetting at this age? so i tried to remember when i stopped and that was like when i was 7yrs old.

So am putting it to my fellow nairalanders when did you stop bed wetting?

when I was 18 and went away to university. I didn't want the other children in the dorm to ridicule me for it

easystudy101:
Another LIE

If these girls are bearing false witness they each should be flogged

We tell our girls their legs are to remain closed at all times until they are married and it's with their husband or when necessary for the purposes of examination, If the little girls are being raised, supervised, and cared for properly a pedophile will have to force them into being defiled--most pedophiles don't want to be bothered-- a rapist will find a challenge in it but not a pedophile-- they'd rather deal with the easy targets- the little girl who isn't getting proper training at home, not being supervised well, or cared for-- girls who will open their legs for the pedophile without being asked to

These pedophiles operate too easily because the children aren't immunized properly against them--by not getting good training, guidance, supervision, and care from their parents and guardians.

This pedophile if he's guilty should be hanged-- does the law allow it? but it's better for girls not to be defiled and to receive any necessary treatment, rehabilitation, and correction when they are defiled

Crieff:
@Punkyveer,

Even if this is culturally correct, it can still be done in private and not this public event or spectacle that it is now with pictures on the internet.

Pictures should not even be taken. Why won't such communities have issues with sexual assault.

Hence, it is what it is, culturally licensed perversion. Despicable and full of indignities.

the ceremony can be in public. The inspection of the women's genitals needs to be done in private

baloney:
better change his schl

My wife tells me our oldest girl tells her the boy she's been opening her legs for is heavily into porn. I said to her that's a good reason we flogged her and why she's not going to the same university as the boy

This boy got spanked and another boy led him into it-- sending him to a different school is a good idea

Firevinci:
The boy left for church and came back late, maybe that step madam didn't give the boy a chance to explain himself and why would she flog like a mad man and now he has lost an eye is she happy?

Better not to do something that you'll regret

that's what happens when you do something in anger and haste and without getting the child into the proper position to receive correction.

ConfessionsNgr:
What could have made my teenage son interested in sex at his age when he should be serious with his studies? He is 14-years-old and in SS1. This is a boy brought up in a good Christian home. Maybe the mistake was the laptop his dad bought for him. We had thought it will aid him in his studies but he is using it for something that could destroy his future. I’m so sad about it. That night, I was hearing some sound from his room around 11PM and I could understand what it meant. So I tip-toed to his room and saw him engrossed in the porn movies he was watching. I was so furious; I beat him and seized his laptop. I later got to know he was introduced to porn by a class-mate of his. I told him I’m changing his school. He has been begging me not to tell his dad when he returns from his trip but I feel his father should be aware of the whole thing. Parents out there, how can I check this situation?


Posted anonymously on www.confessionsnigeria.com
http://confessionsnigeria.com/post/203/i-caught-my-14-year-old-son-watching-porn

I think you need to ignore his wishes and inform his father. You spanked him for it and took his laptop. Give it back to him. Set clear rules about how and for what he uses it. Supervise him when he uses it; monitor it and don't do it behind his back and as he gains your trust relax the level of supervision

if this has been going on for some time and the child has been clearly warned about using the computer to look at porn and no other efforts at education, training, and guidance have been persuasive than a flogging may be required. Right now it doesn't seem quite the time yet to have to flog him. Probably now what is needed to take the computer away from and if he needs it for school-- supervise him while he is using it and do so until he shows he can be trusted

One thing you must be careful of is that the spanking itself doesn't reinforce the child's attraction to porn.

that she was abducted and was being held against her will even if she was an adult it would be hard to sustain a claim she had consented to the sex. Even if she did consent she would have to be seen as being under duress. And that is with an adult victim. With a child it's compounded and combined with her status as a minor

If the elements for forcible rape can be proven combined with the fact the victim is a child under the age of 21 and under the age of 18 combined further by the fact she was abducted and held against her will-- which also should help corroborate forcible rape claim-- the man should be hanged

flogging, caning, spanking whatever it is or you call it-- it's not effective nor appropriate when it's all you rely on when training, guiding, educating, and raising a child. When we prepare a girl to be flogged we make sure she is made aware she is being punished for wrongful behavior-- behavior she knew was wrong but chose to do it anyway. It's not to teach her good behavior. She knows or should know what that is. We've trained and guided her on such things. It's punishment and it's sometimes necessary

cococandy:
This has been put to test over the decades and confirmed that it doesn't work.
The failure is right before our eyes. Beating does nothing to make kids into better adults. If it did, we would have better adults than other parts of the world who don't beat their kids.

To me this discussion is moot. If one can't look around the society and see that beating has done nothing for us, what else can you tell them to convince them otherwise?

the reason it doesn't work is too many parents and guardians use corporal punishment inappropriately and/or ineffectively. I don't flog a child unless she has been willfully and wantonly engaging in immoral conduct; has been clearly told the rules and expectations for her to follow and has chosen to disobey them, or when other means of guidance and correction haven't worked. And when a child is flogged is told clearly and without doubt why she is to be punished

Pamelayoung:
How abt children that doesn't listen or even obey u after talking to them .how u handle that

I have only had to deal with teenagers -- all of them girls. After you have provided them with instructions, guidance, education and with clear rules, boundaries, and expectations- and those things are clear and understandable-- and the teenager is willfully or habitually disobedient or engaging in behavior which puts her in moral or other danger then it's the guardian's duty to flog her

It is important the girl knows and can understand why she is being flogged-- that when she cries from the pain of the lashes being laid on her back she'll associate it with the wrongful behavior for which she is being punished. After the flogging she will need additional instruction and guidance to lead her back to the proper behavior

Emilokoiyawon:
Because Nigerians are hypocrites who pick and choose which parts of the Bible and Koran they want to enforce.

I much prefer to stone a woman for adultery then to punish her for being a lesbian

as long as she is not doing it with a child-- a girl under the age of 21 then there should be no problem with it.

niceprof:
This man should be castrated as soon as possible

won't do any good.

Circumstances have made it so I've only had to deal with teenage girls and there have been times when I've had to flog them. But I do believe children should be given space to experiment, to try things out, for discovery, to grow, and to mature. Most of the time when they stray too far away from what is acceptable and appropriate a child can be given guidance and advice. But there are times when a child strays too far, won't abide by the instructions of her guardian and places herself at serious and unacceptable physical and moral risk

SAMBARRY:
any agbaya attracted to immature persons sexually whether she's a teenager or adolescent he's still a pedophile and by the way a 13 year old is still a child

that's not the clinically correct definition of pedophilia. to label anyone who has sex with teenagers and adolescents as a pedophile is just perpetuating ignorance which isn't helpful. In fact not every man who has sex with a younger child is a pedophile. Doesn't mean I approve of an adult man have sex with a 13 year old girl--I just refuse to use prejudicial terms in a false and malicious way

winner01:
lol

I've dealt with teenagers all of them girls and they get flogged when they need to be

will they hang him? They were going to hang a 14 year old girl a few months ago for poisoning 4 or 5 people

SAMBARRY:
op is a pedophile. END OF DISCUSSION.hes looking for fellow agbayas In the business of pedophilia
awon baby girl come and take chocolate kind of men. He's luring her with phone

Na im type olamide sing for


op kontinu luring little girls. Some of your pedophile mates are in prison.


you're liking a 13 year old. Keep it up

no he's not-- pedophiles have no sexual attraction to 13 year old girls. The correct term for a man whose primary sexual attraction is to a 13 year old girl is HEBEPHILLIA-- a pedophile's interest in children ends when a child reaches puberty. A 50 year old man whose primary sexual attraction is to a 17 year old girl is a Ephebophillia. The media should start using the correct terms and stop stirring up hysteria

themanderon:
The problem is that most parents of today want to copy the Western way of raising a child not minding that their ways are heavily flawed, in the days of our parents they showed us love and whenever we went out of line they spanked us in love but sadly this days some parents see a child doing wrong they give the child a pat on the back and if anyone tries to scold the child they attack the person sadly when this child grows up it becomes a monster not only to the parent but to the whole society, spare the rod spoil the child as they say, in American today there are many cases of teens as young as 13 getting pregnant and this is as a result of failure of the parents to take charge while the child was younger, is that what we want for ourselves? Cos its certainly happening over there.

if the 13 year old girl knew she would be soundly flogged if she let a boy/man abuse her vagina she'll think a little harder before she opens her legs

Filashade:
I dont mind parents who discipline their kids but what i hate is when you are clearly an adult and your parents are still treating you like a child.

Like me for example am freaking 20+ and i cant talk to no guys especially or even talk to any one especially Nigerians/Jamaicans coz they are wild people said my dad.

I serioulsy think some parents are bloody over protective from the day i was born i cant make no fucking decisions for myself without getting my parents involve even now that am going to uni i try not to let them know what am doing coz they r so controlling.

I love my parents sha but its too much i cant breathe when am around them even to have a normal cconversation i dnt want.

Me when i have my own kids i wont make them be afraid of me like i am to my parents.

The worst thing is I am more afraid of my parents than God. Which in itself is scary to say out loud.

Nigerian parents need to cool down on the overprotectiveness especially to their daughters coz they r just driving their kids to rebel. They dont give us no privacy what so ever. I dont even want to talk to my parents one bit coz it just leads to arguement.

I have never reblled in my life but yet my parents think i have. They think once am out of the house am a differnt person when thats not true. For so many years have been trying to show them that thats not true but am just wasting my time.



Seriously cant wait till when i finsih uni then i am moving out kiakia so sick and tired of them already.

You have set a goal for yourself. Complete your university training, and then to establish your own living situation away from your parents. that should be your parents goal for you as well and they're trying to help you get there. You should know what you need to do to achieve your goals as an adult. A child will want to move away from her parents just to get away from the parents and because she thinks she should be able to open her legs for any man she wants to. An adult will want to move out (from her parents house) because she is genuinely ready to.

It sounds to me as if you are not quite grown up-nothing wrong with it. Most university students are still children and should be considered as such--even though they're labelled as adults they're not.

Doesn't sound very Islamic

milychocs:
Why are you using her/she!?
We know who usually gets the cane more!
Boyyyssss

That's because people have a taboo about using the rod of correction on a teenage girl even when her behavior requires it.