Hvq229's Posts

Nairaland Forum › Hvq229's Profile › Hvq229's Posts

1 2 3 (of 3 pages)

Family › Re: Pls Discuss. Does Beating A Child Make Them Live Right? by hvq229(m): 6:56am On Aug 05, 2015

Crysallis:
I was in a heated argument with my cousin. He is of the Opinion that Beating a child will make him/her live a right life.

Is this really true?

not by itself but it can be useful

Education › Re: Flogging In School by hvq229(op): 4:29am On Aug 03, 2015*

Czar01:
Teachers have abused the use of corporal punishment in many Nigerian schools so anything can happen. And flogging a girl on her buttocks is just wrong in so many ways, it's not even funny.

Me I've passed all that sha...

Education › Re: Flogging In School by hvq229(op): 4:10am On Aug 03, 2015

donholy28:
just 18 years? the girl is still a child but i disagree on d caning on buttocks...wetin happen to her palms?

is the child going to cry when her palms get caned or will she just laugh at it. I prefer the bottom or if that bothers people then the back of the thighs because the cane can be laid on with more authority in those places and have a greater effect in reforming the child's behavior

Nairaland General › Re: Should A Teenager Be Unclad For A Spanking/flogging? by hvq229(op): 3:20am On Aug 03, 2015*

Solomon19:
op it is good bring your sis for experiment....

Education › Flogging In School by hvq229(op): 1:52am On Aug 03, 2015

Is it still the case in Nigeria that an 18 year old female secondary school student can be caned on her buttocks by a male teacher? I am not against corporal punishment but it seems there's something wrong with it. Let a woman punish the child if she needs to get a spanking.

Nairaland General › Should A Teenager Be Unclad For A Spanking/flogging? by hvq229(op): 12:56am On Aug 03, 2015*

Christianity Etc › Re: Is It Wrong To Call The Name Of Jesus During Sex? by hvq229(m): 8:18pm On Aug 02, 2015

not really but if it is a woman should be flogged for doing it

Family › Re: Should A 17 Year Old Girl Be Flogged? by hvq229(op): 9:39am On Jul 27, 2015

agarawu23:
I didn't knew you later modified your post.

the flogging will give her fear against next time.
And you should seat her down and talk some senses into her brain
if my mum talk sense into your brain eh! you will not eat for two days cos you will keep remembering her words.

she got the flogging

Family › Re: How Do You Control A Rebellious Teenager? by hvq229(m): 8:43am On Jul 27, 2015*

favoured234:
Using myself as an example, although at 17 I was not rebellious

1.withdraw some benefits/treats from her.. (I wouldn't care much) .
2. Flog her (I hate it physical.. I must change)
3. Again try getting to meet the 20YO boy and talk some sense into them ( I hate embarrassing situations I go run leave the guy)

If none of these work, then let her learn the hard way

Family › Re: Spare The Rod - Spoil The Child by hvq229(m): 4:34am On Jul 27, 2015

Pidggin:
While I believe in this adage, I also think it may not be necessary for every child. Some kids respond well to verbal correction, others don't. It depends on the child's temperament.

sometimes something more than verbal correction is required.

1 Like

Celebrities › Re: Afrocandy's Daughter Graduates From US School (pics) by hvq229(m): 10:48pm On Jul 26, 2015

FlirtyKaren:
This is Afrocandy's second daughter. She just graduated from Middle School in the United States and is also turning 15 years old tomorrow. In 3 years, Afrocandy's first daughter will be Graduating from the University while her younger sister is going in. Big congrats to her.

http://www.lailasblog.com/2015/07/afrocandys-daughter-graduates-from-us.html

it's four years in the U.S. between middle school and college. So it will be a year after the older child graduates from college before the younger one enters college. The U.S. for the most part has a 5 (elementary school), 3 (middle school) 4 (high school) and 4 (college-undergraduate) system. Just a minor point--nothing to do with anything else

2 Likes

Family › Re: Spare The Rod - Spoil The Child by hvq229(m): 8:34pm On Jul 26, 2015

AirstarKane:
It only takes the grace of God to train up a child. Some of them react even when you scolding them and that's where the parents gets injured too. I just feel any parent should seek wisdom of God cos there comes a certain age you can't handle them not even in this technology age their brain is so wired to their gadgets and seeing all dese too. I pray I have a good husband ready to raise godly children with me because me I don't want headache @ old age abeg.

You have to have a good strong moral and spiritual foundation. The strap, the cane, the whip won't do much good without it

Family › Re: Spare The Rod - Spoil The Child by hvq229(m): 5:18pm On Jul 25, 2015*

winner01:
Very true

it works better in theory than in practice. It's a guardian's duty to set and enforce boundaries/rules. It's the nature and perhaps (developmental) duty for children to challenge and test those boundaries. Some of it is healthy and good but there are times when the cane or the whip is going to have to be used.

There is or should always be a process which clarifies and allows the child space to reflect on the reasons both before and she receives correction. I confronted our 17 year old a couple of nights ago about her immoral behavior. I told her she would be flogged and sent her to her to room to get ready. Her mother went in to help get her ready. And while doing so reminded her of why she was being flogged. Don't know if it will work. Nothing else has so far but if it does I'd rather have her crying over the pain and the welts on her back from the lashing then the more serious consequences her behavior could lead her into.

1 Like

Family › Re: Signs That Your Child Is Being Sexually Abused by hvq229(m): 1:26pm On Jul 24, 2015

good post. a few more things. Don't assume because the (alleged) abuser is a trusted member of the family and/or the community they can't be an abuser. If a child tells you he or she is being abused don't ignore it or not believe the child's report. Don't wait to report abuse until you can prove it. It's not your job to investigate merely to report abuse.. If there are clear signs of abuse and the child denies it don't accept the child's denial as truthful. Children as well girls and women in rape cases as well are far more likely to falsely deny abuse, sexual assault, rape then they are to falsely report it. If a child, girl, woman recants don't assume they were lying in the first place. More likely they are lying when they recant. And with the girls especially the abuser is usually within the family or a male member of the household

Crime › Re: 17-yr-old Boy Defiles His Younger Sister And Neighbour’s Daughter by hvq229(m): 2:50am On Jul 24, 2015

ugoezeik:
and wat do we call dis one nw ehhhhh. but on a serious note, at 17 wat will b his punishment. pls any lawyer in d house should help dis educated ilitrate

will he get flogged? Where it was consensual maybe the girl should be flogged too?

Crime › Re: 17-yr-old Boy Defiles His Younger Sister And Neighbour’s Daughter by hvq229(m): 2:44am On Jul 24, 2015

bushdoc9919:
Hmmmm

Risk with that kind of education, you might expose the youngster to concepts....

But at the same time....as a 17 year old, I was tempted. The reason why i did not succumb was because if I got the girl in the famiy way, my parents would have promptly treated us as family...ie throw me out of the house ,and tell me to go and support my wife and child.

Sex education is good. Learning to control the conji feelings....also good.

P.S...It should be noted that the guy was doing this on a routine basis with other minors. Thus...he is a paedophile.....and as such he needs psychological help and the full wrath of the law.

Sex education is not to blame. After all...I got the full stuff...and I did not go round doing bad things....

If he is doing it with children younger than 10 or 11 maybe 12 then he could be a pedophile but with other teenagers even younger ones that's not a pedophile--

Crime › Re: Soldier Strips Female Workers Unclad & Tie Them To A Tree For Stealing (Photos) by hvq229(m): 3:10am On Jul 17, 2015

these women were caught stealing and were being punished. May not agree with the way it was done but there's a valid reason for it

Education › Re: See How A Teacher Brutalised His Student by hvq229(m): 3:24pm On Jul 16, 2015

Lexusgs430:
Discipline whatever way he likes? You call that discipline ?

the child no doubt required correction but it needs to stay within certain bounds. I am not sure it did here.

Family › Re: Spare The Rod - Spoil The Child by hvq229(m): 11:30am On Jul 13, 2015

Xiadnat:
I think raising children is a balancing (and tough) act.

There are often no hard and fast rules.

You may spare the rod, and still get a descent child.

You may use the rod, and get undisciplined, evil and rebellious child.

You can try your best, but ultimately, once the child grows up or is growing up, they choose their paths (and sometimes unfortunately may fall far from their upbringing).

Each individual must walk out the path that is laid out to him/her, make choices as a free agent and face consequences.

having clear rules which are age appropriate, fair, firm but flexible is helpful. underscore it with a proper moral and spiritual base

Family › Re: Spare The Rod - Spoil The Child by hvq229(m): 11:24am On Jul 13, 2015

Crieff:
There is no problem pankere cannot solve.

Alternatively, authentic, tried and tested corporal punishment will do the trick.

To be used sparingly though otherwise the child will just mutate and develop resistance to any specie of whip.

you need to be consistent in the use of the whip. If you're erratic so the child can never figure out when she's going to get a whipping then you start having problems. Also as you said it's done too often so that it loses its effectiveness. You also need to be clear on what you expect from the child so she understands it and if correction is required she knows why.

Family › Re: Spare The Rod - Spoil The Child by hvq229(m): 6:22am On Jul 13, 2015*

I stumbled on to this thread. Without going into much detail I'll outline what is effective discipline. Children, teenagers up to the age of 21 need boundaries, they require rules-- it's your responsibility as the guardian to set those rules and boundaries. It's not just because your the guardian and have the authority to do it. the child should understand it's for her own good. for her moral well being among other things. You should make her aware of the consequences of poor behavior not just the flogging she'll get but in the outside world. Adults you have to let experience those for themselves. A child you can protect from even if it means her bottom will be sore for a few days.

the basic rules for effective discipline as to boundaries and rules

1. it needs to be age appropriate

2. it needs to be clearly understood by the child both when it's announced and when punishment is to be applied for an infraction of the rule.

3. it needs to be fair and reasonable. What that is can be a matter of interpretation. A couple of following guidelines will clarify it. Another thing which can be done is to the extent the child is capable and without forfeiting your authority and responsibility as her guardian is to allow her to participate in setting the rules

4. Punishment needs to be proportional to the offense and consistently and fairly applied. When the child is being prepared for a flogging you need to assess if it's not unreasonable or erratic-- The child should be clear why she's being punished--it can't be that she doesn't know or understand

5. Rules must be both firm and flexible-- flexible doesn't mean they can be ignored at will without consequence but allows for the guardian to consider the particular circumstance and allow the child's input into the reasons for her disobedience-- and thus enable her to better understand the need for correction

6. Corporal punishment should be administered in private. For teenagers if possible it should be done by a parent or guardian of the same gender. This is particularly true if the child is to be unclad when undergoing correction.

1 Like

Crime › Re: Secondary School Boy Rapes A 5yrear Old Girl. by hvq229(m): 8:35am On Jul 12, 2015

imustsaymymindo:
The picture of the victim shouldn't have been shown. At least her face shouldn't be revealed. We all know the kind of stigma that comes with rape cases here in Nigeria.

that's still true just about anywhere

Crime › Re: Man Injures Wife, Whips Daughter With Barbed Wire In Lagos (Photos) by hvq229(m): 8:25am On Jul 12, 2015

Bonapart:
Muslims: plague of the world
World without islam : HEAVEN
#islamabad
#islamarugged

Imagine a human with soul did this to his own seed
Wat do you think he will do to another or a stranger

Humans with beast's heart

it's nothing to do with Muslims. This man used an inappropriate implement to punish a child for the wrong reasons apparently causing serious injuries to that child

Family › Re: How Do You Control A Rebellious Teenager? by hvq229(m): 8:59am On Jul 11, 2015

winner01:
After the spanking, when shes sober...her aunt and mother can now advise her gently...I hope it works

thank you for the advice it's been helpful. I think we're making progress with the girl. I can't think she'll want another spanking so as long as her bottom still hurts and she can remember why her aunt's strap was laid on it she won't be rushing out to see this boy in defiance of her parents wishes. Of course we'll have to get her to understand why we don't want her to see and fornicate with this boy

Family › Re: How Do You Control A Rebellious Teenager? by hvq229(m): 5:34pm On Jul 10, 2015*

winner01:
shes 17 so pls dont bare her bottom...

Her aunt makes the child take them down. She insists it allows her to feel the full impact of the strap. My wife says that's the way it's always been done in her family.

1 Like

Family › Re: How Do You Control A Rebellious Teenager? by hvq229(m): 4:21pm On Jul 10, 2015

winner01:
After the spanking, when shes sober...her aunt and mother can now advise her gently...I hope it works

just curious. Do you have any concerns about baring her bottom. If I were to spank her I think that would be a concern but then the strap is more effective on bare skin.

Family › Re: How Do You Control A Rebellious Teenager? by hvq229(m): 4:08pm On Jul 10, 2015

winner01:
I quite agree, You might also have to warn the boy to stay away from her and cease her phones too ....Since she seems stubborn, spanking is also a good option. It would break her a little and the hopefully she can show some remorse and listen to advise....

said I was going to flog her. Thought about it some more and decided not to. Her mother's been pushing for it. Anyway my wife's sister came over with her strap; we talked for a while and we agreed to let the child's aunt spank her with the strap. She's spanked the child before when she had been living with her. better I think a woman do it -- her aunt has her bare her bottom--I am not sure I would do that

Family › Re: How Do You Control A Rebellious Teenager? by hvq229(m): 1:11pm On Jul 09, 2015*

winner01:
I quite agree, You might also have to warn the boy to stay away from her and cease her phones too ....Since she seems stubborn, spanking is also a good option. It would break her a little and the hopefully she can show some remorse and listen to advise....

Decided not to flog her. Instead she got a spanking from her aunt.

Crime › Re: Couple In Trouble Over Defiling And Battering Of 13-year Old Girl by hvq229(m): 3:43am On Jul 09, 2015

kilode100:
I pity the woman o.
Small children always fvcking madam husband.
I would ve done worse o..

Worse? pretty hard to get there.

Education › Re: See How A Teacher Brutalised His Student by hvq229(m): 10:13am On Jul 08, 2015

Sagamite:
The teacher needs to be sacked, arrested, sent to jail, banned from working with children and banned from any public sector job.

maybe the child behaved provocatively? Doesn't justify it though

Education › Re: See How A Teacher Brutalised His Student by hvq229(m): 10:00am On Jul 08, 2015

shaqhead:
Corporal punishment
noun: physical punishment, such as caning or flogging.

Do u hv ur own definition of corporal punishment that we dnt kno of?

Its quite unfortunate that d teacher out of indiscretion took d floggin dt far but canvassin for d abolition of corporal punishment is a NO No...

I don't know what the child did but if it was warranted I would have spanked him not with a 100 strokes of the cane though

Romance › Re: 76-yr-old Retired School Principal Dies On Top 18-yr-old Girl by hvq229(m): 8:51am On Jul 08, 2015

Why was the girl arrested?

1 2 3 (of 3 pages)