₦airaland Forum

Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem

Firstly:

It is essential to point out that bad behaviour in most cases is in accordance with a person’s whims and desires; hence the child will pick up bad behaviour with the slightest influence and the most insignificant of reasons. On the other hand, good behaviour means disciplining oneself and restraining oneself from whims and desires that detrimental to one’s own best interests. Good behaviour means following a path that is contrary to the whims and desires of the self, so it is a constructive process that requires effort and striving.

A sound upbringing is one that instils good attitude and behaviour firmly in the child’s heart and mind so that he will be able to resist corrupt whims and desires, and he will not feel comfortable except with things that help him adhere to the path of righteousness and will despise anything that is contrary to good values.

In order for the child to accept this good attitude and behaviour, it is essential to make that beloved to him. Love cannot be instilled by means of force and harshness; rather it needs the following:

1. Kindness and gentleness

There are a number of hadeeths in which the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) teaches us to use kindness and gentleness when interacting with others, such as the following:

It was narrated that ‘Aa’ishah, the wife of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Verily Allah loves kindness in all things.”

Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6024.

Muslim (2592) narrated from Jareer that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever is deprived of kindness is deprived of goodness.”

It was narrated that ‘Aa’ishah, the wife of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said, narrating from the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him): “There is no kindness in a thing but it adorns it, and it is not taken away from a thing but it makes it defective.”

It was narrated from ‘Aa’ishah that she said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “When Allah wills good for the members of a household, He instills kindness in them.”

Narrated by Imam Ahmad in his Musnad, 40/488, no. 24427; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami‘ as-Sagheer, no. 303

Children by their nature love the parent who is kind to them and helps them, and who cares about them, but that should be without yelling and getting angry, as much as possible; rather it should be with wisdom and patience.

The child is at an age where he needs leisure and play; he is also at an age where discipline and teaching are appropriate. Hence everything must be given due attention, within moderation.

Because children love kind parents, this love gives them a strong motivation to obey their parents. In the opposite scenario, if kindness is absent and there is violence and harshness, that will lead to alienation, which in turn will lead to stubbornness and disobedience, or the prevalence of fear which will generate an attitude of lying and deceitfulness in the child.

2. Kind treatment does not rule out the use of punishment when necessary,

But it should be noted that punishment, when bringing up children, must be used wisely. It is not right to punish the child for every misdemeanour on his part; rather punishment is to be used when kindness is of no benefit and when advice, instructions and bans have been to no avail.

Punishments should also be useful. For example, if you have the problem of your children spending a long time in front of the television, then you can dictate to them which programs they may watch, that will usually be beneficial and not harmful, and that are free of problematic material as much as possible. Then if they go beyond the stated time, you can punish them by depriving them of TV for an entire day. If they go beyond the stated time again, then you can deprive them of it for a longer period, according to whatever will achieve the aim and be of benefit in disciplining them.

3. Setting a good example

The parents must first of all adhere themselves to the attitude and behaviour that they are trying to instil in their children. For example, it is not appropriate for a father to forbid his child to smoke when he himself smokes.

Hence one of the early generations said to his children’s teacher: Let the first thing you do in setting my children straight be mending your own ways, for their faults will be connected to your faults; in their eyes, what is good will be what you do and what is bad will be what you refrain from. End quote.

Tareekh Dimashq, 38/271-272

4. A good environment

This is the environment in which doing good deeds is praised and the one who does them is respected, whereas bad deeds and those who do them are criticized. In current times this good environment is often lacking, but we can try hard, physically, psychologically and financially, to create it, in sha Allah.

For example, if a Muslim family is living in a neighbourhood where there are no other Muslim families, this family should try hard to move to a neighbourhood or city where there are a lot of Muslims, or to a neighbourhood where there are mosques or Islamic centres that are active in running programs for Muslim children.

For example, if a child is interested in a specific sport or other activity, the family could look for a suitable sports club or similar organisation run by committed Muslims, that is attended by Muslim families who are keen to give their children a good upbringing. Mixing plays a major role, as you say, so try to reduce the negative effects that you are seeing as a result of mixing, by mixing in a positive way with Muslim families.

If the father is spending on nice clothes, delicious food and a comfortable home, he should also spend on means of acquiring good attitude and behaviour, and let him seek reward for that with Allah, may He be exalted.

Secondly:

You have to offer du‘aa’ constantly, especially at times when supplications are answered, such as the last third of the night, when prostrating and on Fridays. Call upon Allah, may He be exalted, a great deal and ask Him to make your children righteous and guide them to the straight path. Supplications for their children is one of the characteristics of the righteous slaves of Allah. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And those who say: ‘Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders for the Muttaqoon (pious)”

[al-Furqaan 25:74].

Shaykh ‘Abd ar-Rahmaan as-Sa‘di (may Allah have mercy on him) said: “the comfort of our eyes” means a source of joy.

If we examine the situation and characteristics of the ones who offered this du‘aa’, we will realize, based on their qualities and high ranking, that they would not be content until they see their children obeying their Lord, knowledgeable and actively striving. As this is a supplication that their wives and children would follow the path of righteousness, it is also a supplication for themselves, because the benefit will come back to them too. Hence they regarded that as a gift to them and they said “Bestow on us (lit. give to us).” In fact their supplication brings benefit to all the Muslims, because the righteousness of those who are mentioned will bring about the righteousness of many of those who are connected to them, and will benefit them. End quote.

Tayseer al-Kareem al-Mannaan fi Tafseer Kalaam ar-Rahmaan, 587

Praise be to Allah

The Muslims are unanimously agreed that it is not permissible for a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim, whether he is Jewish, Christian or anything else, because Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al-Mushrikoon till they believe (in Allah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater, etc.), even though he pleases you. Those (Al-Mushrikoon) invite you to the Fire, but Allah invites (you) to Paradise and Forgiveness by His Leave, and makes His Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) clear to mankind that they may remember”

[al-Baqarah 2:221]

“…then if you ascertain that they are true believers, send them not back to the disbelievers, they are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them”

[al-Mumtahanah 60:10].

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: The Muslims are agreed that a non-Muslim cannot inherit from a Muslim, and a non-Muslim man cannot marry a Muslim woman.

End quote from al-Fataawa al-Kubra (3/130).

Moreover, “Islam is to prevail and is not to be prevailed over,” as the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said.

Narrated by ad-Daaraqutni; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami‘ (no. 2778)

The man is in a position of leadership over the woman, and it is not permissible for a non-Muslim to be in a position of leadership over a Muslim woman, because Islam is the true religion and all other religions are false.

If a Muslim woman marries a non-Muslim man, knowing the ruling thereon, then she is a zaaniyah and is subject to the hadd punishment for zina. If she was unaware of the ruling, then she is excused, but they must be separated, with no need for talaaq (divorce), because the marriage is invalid in the first place.

Based on that, the Muslim woman whom Allah has honoured with Islam and her guardian must beware of that and adhere to the limits set by Allah, and be proud of being Muslims. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Whosoever desires honour, power and glory then to Allah belong all honour, power and glory (and one can get honour, power and glory only by obeying and worshipping Allah (Alone))”

[Faatir 35:10].

We advise this woman to end her relationship with that Christian man, because it is not permissible for a woman to form a relationship with a man who is a non-mahram to her.

But if he chooses to become Muslim willingly and voluntarily, then there is nothing wrong with her marrying him, if her guardian agrees to that.

However, we advise what the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) instructed, which is that she should choose for herself someone who is religiously committed and of good character.
islamqa.info

Proudgorgeousga:
if you don't want to see rubbish stop roaming this section stick to your dry Islamic section.

Islam is cancer

Thanks for the advice. We only don't want you to be in Rubbish.

Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem

Whoever has doubts about Allah, the angels, the messengers, the resurrection, Paradise, Hell, or anything that has reached him of what Allah said (in the Qur’an) or that was conveyed by His Messenger (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) is a disbeliever.

Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And he entered his garden while he was unjust to himself. He said, ‘I do not think that this will perish – ever.

And I do not think the Hour will occur. And even if I should be brought back to my Lord, I will surely find better than this as a return.’

His companion said to him while he was conversing with him, "Have you disbelieved in He who created you from dust and then from a sperm-drop and then proportioned you [as] a man’”

[al-Kahf 18:35-37].

Muslim (27) narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “I bear witness that there is no god but Allah and that I am the Messenger of Allah. No one will meet Allah with this (twin declaration of faith), not doubting it, but he will enter Paradise.”

Al-Bukhaari (86) and Muslim (905) narrated that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “It was revealed to me that you will be tested in your graves; it will be said: What do you know about this man? The believer or the one who has certain faith will say: He is Muhammad, the Messenger of Allah; he came to us with clear signs and guidance, and we responded and followed (him); he is Muhammad – three times. Then it will be said to him: Sleep the sleep of the righteous, for we knew that you believed with certain faith in him. As for the hypocrite or the doubter, he will say: I do not know, I heard the people saying something so I said it.”

Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ar-Raajihi (may Allah preserve him) said:

The doubter is regarded as a disbeliever if he has doubts about Allah, or about the angels or the books or the messengers or Paradise or Hell, and he says: I do not know whether there is a paradise or not, or whether there is a hell or not. He becomes a disbeliever if he doubts in this manner. End quote.

https://saaid.net/Minute/m51.htm

On this basis we may understand the report narrated by Ibn Maajah (4268) from Abu Hurayrah from the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), who said: “The dead person ends up in his grave, then the righteous man is made to sit up in his grave with no fear or panic … And the evil man is made to sit up in his grave with fear and panic. It is said to him: ‘In what [condition] were you?’ He says: ‘I do not know.’ It is said to him: ‘Who is this man?’ He says: ‘I heard the people saying something and I said it too.’ Then a window to Paradise is opened to him, and he looks at its beauty and what it contains. It is said to him: ‘Look at what Allah has diverted from you.’ Then a window to Hell is opened for him, and he sees it, parts of it destroying others, and it is said to him: ‘This is your place. You were doubtful; in this state you died and in this state you will be resurrected, if Allah, may He be exalted, wills.’”

Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah.

As-Sindi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

This hadith indicates that whoever has certain faith in this world will usually die in that state, and the same applies to one who has doubt.

End quote from Haashiyat as-Sindi ‘ala Ibn Maajah (2/568)

So whoever doubts one of the fundamental beliefs and dies in a state of doubt is a disbeliever who will abide in Hell forever, for Allah does not accept anything from His slave except certain faith.
Islamqa.info

[s]

AgentOfAllah:
Please come out of that mental torture chamber quickly. It steals your life and hands its control pad to sanctimonious twatweasles, and then threatens you with idiotic eternal punishments just in case you harbour any life reclaiming ideas. I say snatch your life back from primitive fools and call their bluff! You'll be happier for it!

[/s]



RUBBISH!!!

WA Alaykumus salaam.
Brother, thank Allah for making you realise the decrease in ur iman. My advice is that you correct the negative part of you coz all that you said once happened to me. Please be aware that most Muslim's do neglect listening to Islamic lectures and attending Islamic gatherings. I advice you to get series of Good Islamic lectures from Good Scholars of Islam and listen to them often. And beware of some friends.

analice107:
Be quiet.

Don't tell me you are barking for Paul O! worshipper of Paul's Religion

Aderojuomooba:
Salaam alaykum, it's my first time here and it feels gud.

WA Alaykumus salaam. U welcome.

malvisguy212:
if Paul would play such an important role , why will the quran silient on Paul .? why didn't Allah prophesied, paul will divert the gospels ?

The Quran silent on Paul? Who is Paul? Paul is nothing to be talked about in the Quran, He is just nothing man. Let me correct your notion about saying Quran says Quran says; The Quran can't talk for himself because it's not human being it's the word of God Almighty(Allah). Allah says concerning Paul and people like Paul :
Quran 3:78::: And indeed, there is among them a party who alter the scripture with their tongues, so you may think it's from the Scripture, but it's not from the Scripture. And they say; this is from God, but it's not from God. And they speak untruth about Allah while they know.

were is the true message of Jesus ?

It's in the Holy Quran. Let I forget, Allah didn't promise Jesus that the Injury won't be altered. But the last revelation which is the Quran given to Prophet Muhammad won't be altered in anyway till the day of Judgement. That's a promise from God himself.

OLAADEGBU:
Who was Paul?

A distorter of the ORIGINAL AND TRUE MESSAGE of Jesus.

What can we learn from the life of Paul?

Absolutely NOTHING GOOD. Except if you choose to be a liar all your life.

How is understanding the life of Paul valuable to our spiritual growth?

It will only make your life MISERABLE AND WORTHLESS, and finally MAKE YOU END IN HELL.

kattytamer:
Is english your language? How is arabic a pure language? Are there no borrowed words in arabic? or does arabic have a word for internet or meteors? Dont quote me again okay?

Okay, you failed to understand that verse. I understood it because I possess the Holy Spirit. Go and buy Holy Spirit from ur pastor. And if you don't have money to buy it, ask your pastor for the interpretation of that verse and come back here.

Jazaaka llahu khayran

@kattytamer, Hebrew is not Jesus's language it's Aramaic as Rashduct4luv said. This is the reason why Arabic is the chosen language

Zephaniah 3:9 For then will I turn to the people a pure language, that they may all call upon the name of the LORD, to serve him with one consent.

Think of it, which language is most spoken in a religion?
Arabic of course, so don't talk by copy and paste without doing ur own research. DULLARD

kattytamer:
You are saying there were no variations from what is now obtained or what exactly?
The hadith I posted clearly says the sun goes in constant motion setting in one place and rising in another which is simply false, but not to you.

Guy, go learn something b4 you come to argue. You know nothing.

The guy above me needs help. I'm ready to offer it for free. Sorry I can't type much now coz I'm busy.

asuustrike2009:
Hmmmmm. Man can never comprehend the Bible except by the leading of the holy ghost

Holy Spirit for everything?

PROPHETmichael:
1. Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men; and the weakness of God is stronger than men.

2. The natural man does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God. For they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned.

The bible called people like you FOOLS........so my dear, i don't waste time with fools.

Have a nice day!!!

Your Own god is foolish abi? You'll still say I have no Holy Spirit to understand you. Even ayam not understanding sef.

Hier:
Though it might seem like though you , but aut
these doesn't change the fact or contradict g fact that

we fell from the beginning-Genesis.

Jesus came

Jesus was cruxified

Jesus rose having destroyed all principalities and power

Jesus gave us authority over principalities and power

Made us hiers with Christ

If any of the above are affected, then I will see that as contradiction

Did you type this in your sleep? It's gibberish sir

emmanuel1990:
saw what？

Did I mention or quote you?

و عليكم السلام و رحمة الله و باركاته

PROPHETmichael:
Don't be like the muslims who reads the scripture to find faults...The bible was there before you were born, including your ancestors and it will still be there long after you are gone. It has humbled kings and emperors and you are not even a king yet.

BE WISE!!!

What is this one saying?

emmanuel1990:
no 1, Jesus was carrying the cross, when he became tired the roman soldiers saw a man by the name simon, ant he helped him to carry it, bt the cross was still too heavy for simon alone to carry, so jesus joined him together they carried it.

Rashduct4luv come and see oo. You said it and I saw it. LOL �

ekrizz:
According to my opinion, these are actions of people as recorded in the Bible. They were not written for you to emulate.

Actions of people in God's words/book? I'm tired � if you people.

dayo2me:
have you taken your time to study lev. 18 and lev. 22?

do so and your inner eyes will open to what you don't understand

Yes we have studied it, it is a contradiction with what the OP posted. What do you have to say about it?

OP, you should have posted this in the religion section so that we'll read some funny comments from the Christians. Rashduct4luv has said it all. I was discussing with a Christian about the time Jesus was crucified and I showed him 2contradictory verses from his own Bible. Na so he just tell me it's still D same thing. How can 9 and 3 be the same? Funny people.

[quote author=OLAADEGBU post=60531586][/quote]I know that you are lieing but continue with your...

Thank you very much guys. I appreciate.