₦airaland Forum

He was referring to the speaker (Gbajabiamila) and not Elemelu.

tsinzu:
When did your constituents clamour for Elemelu

Nice one.

This is really a sad news. My friend who was his neighbour just called me and informed me of the sad news. One thing I know about the guy is that he has no friends, no girlfriend, in short, he his a lonely man. May his soul rest in peace.

Ignorance they said is not an excuse. The so called guy was my friend neighbour and a Christian.

Cumtroller:
“Mr Femi Oguntumi”

Afonja moozlems at work. Exporting their stupidity to far away Kano State.

08030451717

Rather than wish Nigerians happy democracy day, I'll congratulate you for being a successful government of yourself, family and community. Don't ask me why, but in case you wonder why, it's quite simple to understand. You build or rent a house and put a burglary proof, that has made you a police to your family. You dig a borehole to have steady water supply, that has made you a family water board. If you purchase a generating set, solar panel or inverter You have usurped the duty of PHCN.. A lot of ppl ve died all in d name of Boko Haram and Terrorism yet u're still alive it shows u're d Chief of Army staff on ur own. Now tell me if that does not qualify one to be a government .HAPPY SURVIVAL DAY FELLOW CITIZEN

1. Your wife is not perfect, forgive her.
2. Your wife is the bone of your bone, do not break her.
3. Your wife is a gift, appreciate her.
4. Your wife is a rare gem, guide her jealously.
5. Your wife is your best friend, be friendly with her.
6. Your wife is your joy, nourish her.
7. Your wife is to be cherished, be cheerful to her.
8. Your wife is your portion, cherish her.
9. Your wife is not a devil, don’t dump her.
10. Your wife is not only good for sex, carry her along in every issue.
11. Your wife is not your enemy, encourage her.
12. Your wife is not a family material, never commit her unto the hand of your family members.
13. Your wife is not your rival, don’t compete with her.
14. Your wife is a female gender, honor her.
15. Your wife is not common, don’t compare her.
16. Your wife is not a wash hand base, stop abusing her.
17. Your wife is a weaker vessel, handle her with care.
18. Your wife is a beautiful queen, celebrate her.
19. Your wife is not a fighter, don’t fight her.
20. Your wife is not a punching bag, don’t beat her.
21. Your wife is not a game, don’t play her.
22. Your wife need pre-intimacy, don’t rape her.
23. Your wife is a hook, get hook to her.
24. Your wife is all you love, praise her.
25. Your wife is important, honor her.
26. Your wife is what u make her to be, accept her.
27. Your wife is your joy, pursue her.
28. Your wife needs your honor, never embarrass her in the public.
29. Your wife is not a knife, be nice to her.
30. Your wife is a distinct personality, never compare her to anything.
31. Your wife is loyal, don’t be suspicious of her.
32. Your wife is not a fool, listen to her advice.
33. Your wife is not malicious, do not keep malice with her.
34. Your wife is the best friend you can have, befriend her.
35. Your wife is not a napkin, do not misuse her.
36. Your wife is not your house girl, support her in the kitchen.
37. Your wife is passionate, do not by- pass her.
38. Your wife is very important to you, never for forget her birthday.
39. Your wife is a queen, do not quarrel with her.
40. Your wife is not the only owner of the sit, help her to baby sit.
41. Your wife is reasonable, do not under- rate her.
42. Your wife is your responsibility, provide for her.
43. Your wife is yourself, do not separate her bed.
44. Your wife is number one in your life, never replace her with your mum.
45. Your wife is your treasure, jealously guide her.
46. Your wife need your help, help her.
47. Your wife need your full attention, do not give it to T.V set, phones and computer.
48. Your wife is valuable, add more value to her.
49. Your wife is your crown, do not abandon her.
50. You will account to Allah about your wife, handle her with care."

YORUBA MOTHERS!!!
Yorùbá mothers are the best when it comes to child upbringing.
Yorùbá mothers produce the best range of slaps:
IGBATI,
IFOTI,
IGBAJU,
IGBARUN,
IFORUN,
IFAKUN,
ILADI,
ABARA.

These slaps will make you think you were adopted.

IGBATI will make you correct your wrongs instantly!

The beauty of IFOTI is that you will confess your sins on the spot.

IGBARUN, IGBAJU and IFORUN will make you expose those who committed the crime with you without hesitation.

ABARA and ILADI will make you pee in your new pants.

Now ABARA is the worst.

Apart from all these, we have and advanced one which is called IGBAJU OLOYI.
When you receive that one, you'll lose balance and your head will go into "auto-search" as you'll be looking for what hit you.
This will make you do all the actions of the other slaps aforementioned at once!

OH! IGBAJU OLOYI! It can reset someone to 3D (DEAF, DUMB, and DAFT).
She will say let's go home and you will say it's in my pocket ma.

God bless our parents for the good upbringing.
If you were brought up in Yoruba land, regardless of how caring your mother was, you'd have encountered one of these slaps.

I know you're laughing even if you are not Yoruba by tribe.

Nice from op. I was forced to check my genotype by my girlfriend.

Good, he is an educationist .

Thanks guys will do that next time.

Marriage Advice To You All ... 1. Choose to love each other even in those moments when you struggle to like each other. Love is a commitment, not a feeling. 2. Always answer the phone when your husband/ wife is calling and when possible, try to keep your phone off/on silent when you’re together with your spouse. 3. Make time together a priority. Budget for a consistent date night. Time is the “currency of relationships” so consistently invest time into your marriage. 4. Surround yourself with friends who will strengthen your marriage and remove yourself from people who may tempt you to compromise your character. 5. Make laughter the soundtrack of your marriage. Share moments of joy, and even in the hard times, find reasons to laugh. 6. In every argument, remember that there won’t be a “winner” and a “loser.” You are partners in everything so you’ll either win together or lose together. Work together to find a solution. 7. Remember that a strong marriage rarely has two strong people at the same time. It’s usually a husband and wife taking turns being strong for each other in the moments when the other feels weak. 8. Prioritize what happens in the bedroom. It takes more than sex to build a strong marriage, but it’s nearly impossible to build a strong marriage without it. 9. Remember that marriage isn’t 50-50, divorce is 50-50. Marriage has to be 100-100. It’s not splitting everything in half, but both partners giving everything they’ve got. 10. Give your best to each other, not your leftovers after you’ve given your best to everyone else. 11. Learn from other people, but don’t feel the need to compare your life or your marriage to anyone else’s. Allah's plan for your life is masterfully unique. 12. Don’t put your marriage on hold while you’re raising your kids or else you’ll end up with an empty nest and an empty marriage. 13. Never keep secrets from each other. Secrecy is the enemy of intimacy. 14. Never lie to each other. Lies break trust and trust is the foundation of a strong marriage. 15. When you’ve made a mistake, admit it and humbly seek forgiveness. You should be quick to say, “I was wrong. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.” 16. When your husband/wife breaks your trust, give them your forgiveness instantly which will promote healing and create the opportunity for trust to be rebuilt. You should be quick to say, “I love you. I forgive you. Let’s move forward.” 17. Be patient with each other. Your spouse is always more important that your schedule. 18. Model the kind of marriage that will make your sons want to grow up to be good husbands and your daughters want to grow up to be good wives. 19. Be your spouse’s biggest encourager, not his/her biggest critic. Be the one who wipes away their tears, not the one who causes them. 20. Never talk badly about your spouse to other people or vent about them online. Protect your spouse at all times and in all places. 21. Pray together. Every marriage is stronger with Allah in the middle of it. 22. Never consider divorce as an option. Remember that a “perfect marriage” is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other! As you're stepping in may it be fruitful and everlasting. (Amin)

Mr. Godwin Emefiele’s Report: Quote “It is either I do not understand economics and how exchange rates work or a vast majority of us Nigerians still don’t get how we have wrecked our country with our own curious choices. Just this morning, I was listening to the radio and the lady on air went on and on about how she thought CBN governor, Godwin Emefiele was incompetent and should be sacked because the Naira was now exchanging at 309 or so to the USD. “That view pretty much echoes the sentiments expressed by many people I know and it amazes me that there are Nigerians who actually think there is some magic POLICY that can make the Naira strong in the near term. If my economics and my understanding of the way the world works are right, then that is as far from the truth as Jesus Christ is black. “The simple fact of the matter is that apart from oil that accounts for over 90% of our revenues, we really don’t have much of an economy. We hardly produce anything, we import even toothpicks, so exactly what policy is going to be implemented that will turn Nigeria into a top exporting economy in the near term? Where are our Apples, IBMs, Disneys, GMs, General Electrics, Coca Colas, Empire State buildings, Statues of Liberties, Lockheeds, Citibanks, JP Morgans, ExxonMobils, NBAs, Super Bowls etc? Let me bring that closer home. “There was a time long ago when Nigeria had a truly strong economy and the naira was one to the dollar – even exchanged for higher than the USD, but that Nigeria is not this Nigeria. Sadly that Nigeria was laid by the British, and this Nigeria (if you don’t believe in the nonsensical imperialist conspiracies like me) – fueled by the DAMAGING Indigenization Decree, has been the creation of us Nigerians. Back then we had a booming economy. We were either the top, or among the top exporters, of timbre, cocoa, groundnuts, rubber, palm oil, etc, in the world. Nigerians not only holidayed at home in their villages, at Yankari Games Reserve, at Obudu Cattle Ranch, at Oguta Lake, at Ikogosi springs, at Gurara Falls, at Mambilla Platueau, etc, we attracted international tourists who brought in loads of foreign exchange. Even Nigerian schools were foreign exchange earners because they attracted foreign students. “We had different car assembly plants – Peugeot, Volkswagen, Anamco etc. Nigerian government officials only bought vehicles assembled in Nigeria for official cars. We had a thriving sports industry. We were not Man United or Chelsea fans, we were Rangers or IICC fans. We had the Nduka Odizors, people made money from sports. We also had companies like Lennards and Bata producing school shoes in their thousands, we had the thriving Nigerian Airways and the Aviation School in the north that produced some of the best pilots in the world. In those days if you were brilliant you were respected much more than the crass money-miss-road contractors of today. Most of the Aje Butters I knew had fathers who were university dons. Back then it meant something to ‘know book’. Our textile industry was alive and well. Just recently I watched a news report on the textile industry in Nigeria on CCTV News. Though the main focus was on the comatose status of the industry, I was stunned by the gigantic Kaduna Textile Mill built in 1957. I could go on and on. “Today however, no thanks to our parents (and we must call them out the way Wole Soyinka did his generation) and many of us (and we should be remembered for failing our children if we continue like this), we have destroyed everything. Today for instance Nigerian football (which comes easy to me obviously) doesn’t appeal to us, we have to fly across thousands of miles to watch ‘our’ clubs play. Every year we collectively burn billions of Naira being fans of clubs that give us nothing back, but some ‘entertainment value’ – simple pleasures for which we are ready to destroy the future of our children. “Well people, payback time is here. Even with our ta-she-re money we all want to wear designer clothes and carry designer bags, Armani, Givenchy, Louis Vuitton etc. We all want to drive jeeps with American specs, our children must now school overseas and acquire the necessary accents to come back home and bamboozle their ‘bush and crass’ contemporaries that they left behind. Who holidays in Nigeria anymore, is there Disneyland here? No one buys made-in-Nigeria school bags for their children, after all no Superman or Incredible Hulk or Cinderella on them. “We are no longer top exporters of anything and the demise of oil means we have zilch… zero. A country of 170M fashion- conscious people has no textile industry. We take delight in showing how our made-in- Switzerland Aso Ebi is different class to everyone else’s. When we help our musicians grow and pay them millions, they repay us by immediately shipping the monies overseas to produce their “i-don-dey-different-level” music videos. It makes no difference that distinctly Zulu dancers are dancing to a Nigerian highlife song. “As stars concerned they also wed and holiday overseas to impress us all. All the musicians who acknowledge their Ajegunle roots now speak in a cocktail of strange accents to symbolise how much they have blown their monies overseas. Were we a more serious people, the highly popular Kingsway Stores of the past would probably have a thousand outlets pan Nigeria today supporting a massive agriculture industry among others, but today we have the likes of SPAR, Shoprite, dominating the retail industry while Kingsway is dead. “And we Nigerians make it a special point to shop from the Oyinbos who have ‘cleaner shops’, ‘better this and better that’. For our personal pleasure we don’t mind them dominating us in our own backyard and shipping proceeds overseas. I could go on and on, but I don tire. Even as you are reading this, stop for a moment and look around you. What you see will probably explain why we are lucky it is not N1000 to the USD yet. And don’t think for a moment that it cannot get there. “Just continue to wear your Armani gear and Swiss-made lace, continue to spend your money on Man United, Arsenal, Chelsea and Barca and encourage your children to do same. (My article tomorrow in my Saturday column in This Day is on the Nigerian champions Enyimba FC – Nigeria’s most successful club – not having a sponsor, yet Nigerian brands pay over N600m to Man United and Arsenal for sponsorship to impress us.) Ehhh, no problem, continue to tell me the NPFL is rubbish or the clubs should clean up their act if they want sponsorship, mo gbo . “Don’t curtail your interest in choice wines ( we were the number one champagne consumers in the world in 2015), continue to love your American specs, cheer the education ministry for letting schools sink to pitiable levels, don’t fight them to improve our schools, don’t chide them for letting schools drop Nigerian history and embrace British, America and whatever else curricular. “Carry on with your love of French wines and Chinese silk, don’t bother about Jamiu Alli when there is Roger Federer. Stock up on your Italian, American, British products which you cannot live without, including the ‘baby soft’ toilet rolls produced only in that small unique village in England – the days are long gone since you were a broke student who used wet newspapers to wipe your butt. “Don’t even consider holidaying in Nigeria, it’s too dangerous – you have to fulfill your dream of being Nigeria’s Henry Ford. Don’t listen to people like me who have a wardrobe full of only cheap adire that is actually cheaper than just one of your Tom Ford blazers. Please keep dressing in fine silk made in some exotic place so you can be addressed accordingly. “Finally keep letting corrupt leaders who have looted your commonwealth and shipped all the monies overseas get away because to attack them does not fit your political narrative. Let us continue with the fine life, let us all continue to work for Oyinbo. But don’t forget that there is payback time and Emefiele is not your problem. Time for us all to look in the mirror and take responsibility" Copied

End of the road. Maybe temporary maintenance. Only them know. By the way, fuel don dey available?

The only message I got from my bank(UBA) was "Dear customer,only full KYC prepaid cards can now be used for international txns.Pls upgrade your card @ any UBA business office or email...................."

I hope so. #removesubsidyandlethavepeace.

@OP, Your source of info get k-leg.

So whom to believe now,the army or sharareporter?