₦airaland Forum

quatum:
Only Men who are conscious of their creator never Cheat

I think most Nigerian men are conscious of the creator. Most nigerians, men and women, are very aware of him, yet we sin.

otunsman:
Ladies are more secretive than guyz that's why guyz are attributed to cheating.I know a lady at my place of work who was asking the staff to compare her with her boss wife who was more sexy.You form celibacy a lot.

I don't think it has anything to do with which gender is more secretive, men are just as secretive as women, if not more.

But 99.9% of men belong to at least 1 category on the list.

Don't know her, but i'll say HIT. Currently rocking a low cut myself, but I'm not brave enough to venture into punk hairstyles.

I wonder if things would be different if governors were paid based on how well they govern. A bit unrealistic, but a citizen can dream.

If this story is true, it is a sad one. Similar thing happened to my big sis, though her's was more about differences in ethnic identities than it was about socioeconomic status. My parents refused to accept the man, so they severed the relationship. The unfortunate truth is that it is the children that suffer the most. The emotional toll it takes on them can be nerve wrecking. Everyone thought that my niece would never ask about her biological father, and would just accept the fact that he is not in her life. Boy, were they wrong. She came to me first, but I was very young went the whole ordeal took place, so I couldn't provide her with the answers she needed. She asked my mom, her grandmother, who then approached my sister to ask if she knows anything about her ex so as to put my niece's mind at rest. It is quite ironic that 20 years ago they drove the man away, and now they are looking for him. No one knows his whereabouts, at least that is what they are saying. My niece is very torn, and is a bit obsessed with finding him. She is always asking why the dude didn't fight for her. I told her he did, and he really did. I may have been very young, but I remember he would come to our house begging for information about my sister's and his daughter's whereabouts. It's really affected her, and she's bent on going back home to find him as soon as she is able to. My parents learned their lesson, at least I would like to believe that they did.

Last month, one of my favorite authors, Chimamanda Ngozi Adiche, gave a motivating commencement address at Wellesley College, a women’s Liberal Arts University. Her speech was about the importance of self-appreciation and finding oneself as a woman. I thought it was too good not to share, so I copied and pasted the excerpt below.

I wasn’t very interested in makeup until I was in my twenties, which is when I began to wear makeup. Because of a man. He was one of the guests at a friend’s dinner party. I was also a guest. I was about 23, but people often told me I looked 12. The conversation at dinner was about traditional Igbo culture, about the custom that allows only men to break the kola nut, and the kola nut is a deeply symbolic part of Igbo cosmology.
I argued that it would be better if that honor were based on achievement rather than gender, and he looked at me and said, dismissively, “You don’t know what you are talking about, you’re a small girl.” I wanted him to disagree with the substance of my argument, but by looking at me, young and female, it was easy for him to dismiss what I said. So I decided to try to look older. I thought lipstick might help. And eyeliner. And I am grateful to that man because I have since come to love makeup, and its wonderful possibilities for temporary transformation. So, I have not told you this anecdote as a way to illustrate my discovery of gender injustice. If anything, it’s really just an ode to makeup. It’s really just to say that mow might be a good time to buy some lipsticks—if makeup is your sort of thing—because a good shade of lipstick can always put you in a slightly better mood on dark days. It’s not about my discovering gender injustice because of course I had discovered years before then. From childhood. From watching the world.

I already knew that the world does not extend to women the many small courtesies that it extends to men. I also knew that victimhood is not a virtue. That being discriminated against does not make you somehow morally better. And I knew that men were not inherently bad or evil. They were merely privileged. And I knew that privilege blinds because it is the nature of privilege to blind.
I knew from this personal experience, from the class privilege I had of growing up in an educated family, that it sometimes blinded me, that I was not always as alert to the nuances of people who were different from me. We cannot always bend the world into the shapes we want but we can try, we can make a concerted and real and true effort. Always just try. Because you never know. Try and create the world you want to live in. Minister to the world in a way that can change it. Minister radically in a real, active, practical, get- your-hands-dirty way. And always remember that your standardized ideologies will not always fit your life. Because life is messy.

All over the world, girls are raised to be make themselves likeable, to twist themselves into shapes that suit other people. Please do not twist yourself into shapes to please. Don’t do it. If someone likes that version of you, that version of you that is false and holds back, then he/she actually just likes that twisted shape, and not you. And the world is such a gloriously multifaceted, diverse place that there are people in the world who will like you, the real you, as you are. I am lucky that my writing has given me a platform that I choose to use to talk about things that I care about. I don’t speak to provoke. I speak because I think our time on earth is short and each moment that we are not our truest selves, each moment we pretend to be what we are not, each moment we say what we do not mean because we imagine that is what somebody wants us to say, then we are wasting our time on earth. I don’t mean to sound precious, but please don’t waste your time on earth, but there is one exception. The only acceptable way of wasting your time on earth is online shopping.

There are certain things my mother believes a person should do, for the simple reason that the said person ‘is a woman.’ Such as nod occasionally and smile even when smiling is the last thing one wants to do. Such as strategically give in to certain arguments, especially when arguing with a non-female. Such as get married and have children. I can think of fairly good reasons for doing any of these. But ‘because you are a woman’ is not one of them. Never ever accept ‘Because You Are A Woman’ as a reason for doing anything.

Finally I would like to end with a final note on the most important thing in the world: love. Now girls are often raised to see love only as giving. Women are praised for their love when that love is an act of giving. But to love is to give AND to take. Please love by giving and by taking. Give and be given. If you are only giving and not taking, you’ll know. You’ll know from that small and true voice inside you that we females are so often socialized to silence. Don’t silence that voice. Dare to take. - Chimamanda Ngozi Adiche

People who usually lie about their age do so due to insecurity and/or vanity, and most lie about more than one thing. Sometimes we let our insecurities get the best of us, and she probably thought that if she hadn't lie, you would not want to be with her. You said that you do not know what her intentions were, then ask her. If you find the answers she gives you satisfactory, continue to foster the relationship. If you do not, well you know what to do.

mytym:
seems you have more than lay knowledge on this.

Med student, just finished my neuroscience block and Charcot-Marie-Tooth disease was one of the polyneuropathies I learned in that block.

I hope that man is being charged with solicitation of prostitution. Does Nigeria persecute solicitors?

Did you do a DNA test to make sure that the twins are yours? Not that it matters, but it would suck if their mother recants her story in the future and claim that they aren't yours since, according to you, she is promiscuous.

I'll encourage the people that are willing to donate to the OP to obtain as much info as they can from her. I won't say that this is a scam, but she claims to have Charcot-Marie-Tooth disease, which is a polyneuropathy, it affects peripheral nerves, and has nothing to do with the teeth. It is named after the 3 physicians who described it: Jean-Martin Charcot, Pierre Marie, and Howard Tooth. Maybe she was misdiagnosed - just giving the benefit of the doubt.

Charcot-Marie-Tooth disease is a polyneuropathy, it affects peripheral nerves, and has nothing to do with the teeth. It is named after the 3 physicians who described it: Jean-Martin Charcot, Pierre Marie, and Howard Tooth. So, either this is a scam, or you've been misdiagnosed.

I think he tried to put his own spin on the "Will and Ashley dance" from the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, but it was poorly executed. Don't worry about the style of dance, the song is nice, and the boy is fine

Farayola.

T'was my granny's name that was given to me by my dad, and my favorite of all my names. I'll be giving it to my daughter, either as a first or middle name.

Shymm3x:
Ibsgal

Okay, since it seems you keep having problems with basic English language and legal terms, I'll break it down for you in simpler terms, by asking you a few questions.

Based on bill: we know the punishment for sexual assault against anyone under age 11 is life imprisonment. What's the punishment for sexual assault against anyone from age 12-15 for example? Ditto age 18-50? Did the bill stipulate anything about these two age brackets and did it classify them into separate groups?

So, basically, since it never made any clear distinction about any age bracket apart from those under age 11 - it shows anyone over 11 is deemed LEGALLY as an adult, and the punishment for sexual assault against them would be the same across the board. While only those under 11 are deemed as minors. It's just common sense in simple legal terms.

I'm out - hide ya kids!

WTF, when and where did the bill specify who is a legal adult. Since you do not know, the country has another bill that states who is considered a legal adult and who isn't, and I'm sure that that bill still stands. Age of consent and age of legal adult are not the same thing, Mr. "I'm-so-versed-in-legal-terms". Once again, please do not maintain an opinion just for the sake of talking, but talk for the sake of expressing an opinion.

Shymm3x:
You're just as vacuous as your mentality and like I told you the other day, you lack basic understanding of the English language. And I've to keep questioning if you ever passed through the four walls of a school. This is basically reminiscent of the way you tried woefully, perhaps due to illiteracy to suggest that, "suppression of press" is different from "no press freedom".

Let me give you a quick tutoring and leave ya hypocrisy aside for a moment. I don't care about the whole content of bill, the excerpt on this thread itself is self-explanatory and that's the bill. It clearly stated that any child sexually assaulted at any age under 11 will get life imprisonment. Thus making children over the age 11 adults and sexual assault against them would be treated the same way they treat sexual assault against adults - which means: they wouldn't get the same treatment kids under 11 get, if they are victims of sexual assault. Evidently, it means they would be viewed legally as adults.

If you don't understand legal terms, ask questions. The fact that age 11 was clearly stipulated in the bill, with punishment, is self-explanatory. And it shows what they deem as minor.

Yeah those two phrases are dissimilar. "No press freedom" will imply that there is absolute interference by the government on published materials, while "suppression of freedom of press" can happen in varying degrees. It could be that the government interferes with most media and published materials, or that some interference is established so that some materials are made public and some are not. I thought we bashed this to death on the last thread; however, if it is still bothering you, there is not a thing I can do, and I'll candidly advice that you move on.

Shymm3x:
Go back and read ya own posts on this thread and all ya talks about "sensationalism" while trying to subtly defend the useless bill. The fact that they made it anything under 11 means: from 11 upwards, you're no longer a minor. Effing savages!

Ugh, I'm starting to get the feeling that you're one of those who talk just for the sake of talking, and your words and reasoning have no substance to them whatsoever. I'll encourage you to go and read the bill, think, and then arrive at your own conclusion

Yes, the topic of this thread is nothing short of sensationalism, it infers that the legal age of consent is now 11, and that is untrue. If you sexually assault a child over the age of 11, you will be persecuted, but a life imprisonment is not guaranteed. As to why age 11 was the cut-off, I do not know as I was not involved in the policy-making process. Why am I narrating a very simple bill to an individual who I presume is educated?

Shymm3x:
In as much as I don't like getting involved in topics of this nature cos you just can't deny a section of the country their "culture" which is embedded in Islam, but you also can't keep forcing certain lifestyles on the rest of the country. And with the rate kids keep getting molested in that country, based on the topics I see on fp everyday, age 11 is pure madness.

However, I'm just here to call out ya hypocrisy. Age 11 for whatever it's called is just barbaric...but since it's Nigeria, you'll defend it. But if it were a country like Zimbabwe, you'll be the first to start spouting the "white is right" junk and how that can never happen in western countries. Stop defending the indefensible.

Please point out the statement that suggests that I DEFEND the bill.

Dollyak:
What is misleading? Comprehension of English isn't too hard.

The topic "Senate make's 11 years the legal age to have sex in Nigeria" is misleading. No where in the bill is it stated that the legal age of consent is 11. Go and read the bill dear, and if you are still confused afterwards, then I cannot help you.

Dollyak:
This is should be a watertight law, which it isn't hence the problem. Don't know what you are trying to defend.

No one is defending anything. I simply pointed out that the topic of the thread is misleading, and people should read the bill itself to get an understanding of what is going on. What the topic states and what the bill depicts are two different things.

Do you people actually read any news on your own, or do you wait for sensationalists to feed you it to you on NL?

The Senate on Wednesday passed the Sexual Offences Bill, 2015 which prescribes life imprisonment for rapists and those who have sexual intercourse with children under 11 years. Rapists and those who sexually abuse children would bag life imprisonment while other sexual offenders would also be sentenced to serve various prison terms.

Other sexual offenders will be criminalized, but should you decide to sexually assault a child 11 years and under, your fate is sealed by the bill. It doesn't mean that the legal age of consent is 11, and it doesn't mean that pervs who assault individuals who are above 11 will not be criminalized. I will admit that the bill creates several loopholes, but the title of this thread is very misleading.

No problem

Dannyset:
Sense?
It could be a gift, afterall Julius Berger built Babangida a mansion as gift.

True, but what's stopping her from making a statement about it? It might be trivial to expect an account of her personal belongings, but since PMB's integrity is being questioned, a statement should be made. And it is better to come clean now than to be blind-sided in an interview, because the next person to interview her will definitely ask her how she came about a 10 mil watch.

GOAL

This might be a child neglect issue, and I'm not sure what any organization in the country will be willing to do. In regards to not attending school, maybe the students are being home-schooled. I don't think Nigeria has laws in place that mandates primary school education as a responsibility of the parents. Unfortunately, most organizations that advocate for children might be unwilling to take on the case because kids that are running rampant in the neighborhood will be the least of their priorities. Sounds like the kid getting the worst of the deal is the boy relative. If possible, I'll encourage you to contact the police or any of the people listed below about that, no child should ever have to go through that. Below are the names and info of individuals within the child rights network, they may be able to help you.


Dr Osita Obinna Oleribe,
Child Ombudsman
National President, Anti-Child Abuse Organization
Block 8 Kwara Drive, By War College, Gwarinpa Estate, Phase II, Abuja, FCT Nigeria.
PO Box 8179 Wuse, Abuja, 08035473223, 08029703312.
acasainc@hotmail.com
acasaorg@hotmail.com

Mr. B.C. Ezinma, Program Manager
Child Rights Network
#9 Road P Close, W.B.H.E. P.O.Box 2682
Umuahia Abia State, Nigeria
info_chirn@yahoo.com
chirnrights@yahoo.com
Phone:08052774607

Innocent Chukwuma
chukwuma@cleen.org
Kemi Asiwaju
asiwaju@cleen.org
CLEEN Foundation
P.O. Box 15456, Ikeja,
Lagos, Nigerian
Tel: 213-1-493-3195
Fax: 234-1-493-5339
cleen@cleen.org

Diala Edwin Lionel
Executive Director,
African Child Foundation Project

Box 793 GPO
Marina Lagos, Nigeria

Telephone: 080-333-29403

africhildproject@yahoo.com

Olusola Akinbode
Executive Director Centre For Human Rights and Empowerment
8/10 Kolawole Shonibare Street, Ilupeju Estate,
P.O.Box 5595 Lagos-Nigeria
Telephone: +234 1 8988152, +234 802 3152083
www.chrenigeria.org
chreshola@yahoo.com
chrempowerment@yahoo.com
info@chrenigeria.org

Research to support or I don't believe it, the dude that runs that uberfacts twitter account is always pulling lies out of his butt. He once claimed that Nigerians believe that children who eat eggs will turn into thieves.

oyinsmart:
Please fellow nairalanders, I want to report a case of "children abuse" (4 children) to any agency or NGO in charge of this.
I don't know how to go about it or contact of such agency. Please put me through soonest to salvage the lives of these 4 lovely boys.
The case is around Ijanikin in Lagos.
Thank you.

If you don't mind me asking, what do you consider child abuse? What exactly is happening to the children in question? I'm asking because what constitutes as abuse is highly subjective, and can sometimes put innocent people in trouble.

One fact is undebatable: KB is a fine boy #Godwin

sukkot:
he may be a brother to you. i never met the men. they are no brothers of mine. they are crazed killers

lol, it is definitely certain that I am having a conversation with an unserious person. I'll leave you to your shenanigans, bye

sukkot:
yeah those men ceased being nigerian men the moment they started eating macdonalds and kfc and popeyes and whitecastle. they are now american men. those foods have chemicals and hormones and steroids that americanize your brain and turn you into a psycho

It is funny how we are so quick to deny our brothers who emigrated to other countries once they commit a crime, but when an American Nigerian whose who has never stepped a single toe on Nigerian soil does something news-worthy, we tend to jump on their bandwagon of praise. SHIO

sukkot:
Probably an african american who adopted yoruba name. there are many like that. this african american actor is called obba babatunde

These are Nigerian men. I was once interested in the murder rate among Nigerians in the US, and my lit search led me to this article about Nigerian men killing their nurse wives in the country, so they are mother-land born and bred.