₦airaland Forum

Blessingisrael:
in my own case when preggy was not forthcoming, I thought I was the D&c I had in uni days, then pregnancy came, I had miscarriage, still felt maybe nature was dealing with me. then I discovered it was an underlying issue. which definitely had no issue with the D&C I had. I met with many specialist in this season and all said D&c is the safest way to terminate a pregnancy. even when I had my first miscarriage, D& c was conducted to evacuate it.
just so yo know, I have kids now and I'm the one running from pregnancy.
I know gals, in fact my best had over 6 D&c and now have two kids. she , too is tired of getting pregnant . I can go on, but righteous Nairalanders will come for my head. but those are in my past. I am just saying , cut that woman some slack and atop blaming her for having a D& C. it was youth exuberance. she is just unfortunate. I advise you guys skip the whole surrogacy ish , is expensive, emotionally and physically draining . if you are not using her egg , but donator's why not just find one young girl and hit it up with her? madam just have to let you have your own kids one way or the other.
others might asked if I were the one woukd I have allowed my hubby ? yes, I would. in fact, when I wanted pregnancy and it wasn't forth coming, I have decided I so t let my own inability affect my hubby ability to procreate. Africans love kids, men want kids, especially when he knows he is the only male . it isn't wrong to seek solutions to your problem. CIA!

Chai I wish I did D and C in my own time too, see me now a single mom and depressed, some days I’m suicidal it’s just the thought of leaving my little girl behind that keeps me

How will I unwish it abeg? “After1, “go and marry the father of your child” “low value woman” “no man will marry a single mom”...the insults are too much

IntentionTremor:
Thanks ify.

But how do you unwish that kind of wish? Pls find out and unwish it o. People will talk. Just do your life my dear.

Here I am wishing I aborted my own, I’m a single mom of 1,it’s not been easy the vile things
people say about us can drive one to suicide ,I know exactly how you feel just take things easy

Girl9999:
I created this account to hide my identity. I'm in a very emotional condition at the moment. I've been crying since morning. I've not left my house, not even for church. I've lost the will to live, all because of what happened yesterday evening.

I've been dating this guy for two months. I thought he was a great guy. He was always nice to me, smart and hard-working. I lost my virginity at the age of 18 in University and it was to someone that just wanted to have sex with me. He lied about loving me. All he wanted was sex and when he had his way he abandoned me and dated another girl in my department. Since then I've had a fear of relationships, most importantly of sex. I vowed to only have sex with someone I was going to marry; someone I was certain loved me.

When I met my boyfriend, I thought he was the one. We vibed well and we were both in the same field of work. Everything seemed to click. I opened up to him about my experience and my decision to have sex only when I was ready. He agreed and said he was going to respect my wishes.

Yesterday he visited me at my apartment. This wasn't the first time he was visiting me. We paid each other visits all the time. This time he brought a bottle of wine with him. I prepared food, we both eat and he served us some wine. The last thing I remember is taking few sips and then everything else is blurry.

Next thing I am waking up by 8am this morning with a severe headache, cramped legs and a sore feeling around my vagina. There was something that looked like dried semen on my left thigh and some around my breast. I could also perceive the scent of his perfume on my body. He raped me. The man that claimed to love me raped me. I haven't spoken to anyone since morning, all I've been doing is crying. My phone has been on silent all day.

I want to report him to the police but first I want to look at his face and ask why he would do this to me. I already planned on having sex with him soon. Why couldn't he wait? I want to involve my parents and his parents as well but I don't want this news to spread and take a hit on my reputation. I'm confused about what to do.

Why are men like this? I feel defiled and violated. My mind has been constantly flooded with suicidal thoughts all day. If I make it through this, I'm done with relationships forever.

my dear Nairaland is the last place for you to post this,the men here are something else

My sister ooo...I don laugh tire since...I’m marveled

CHoccolaTE:
Can you see the rubbish these deluded creatures tell themselves?

Smile4mee01:
Many Men dont hate single mums, we just dont love you enough to have you in our lives.

You are better off dealing with the father of your child. And see if we providing support and helping single mothers, then what benefit does the single young girl have for not having a child.

It just too much drama dealing with a single mother. I wish you well from Afar.

Women need to understand that regardless of how well read and rich you are. You derive your value from how Men value you and not other way around.

Chai!!nothing wey I no go see for nairaland, a woman’s value lies in a man’s subjective judgment and not her achievements and goals? It is well.

Karleb:
I'm tired oh!

Close your legs, they say no.

Keep one guy so we can easily trace the pregnancy, they say no.

Use contraceptives, they say no.

Do abortion, they say over their dead body.

Now they want them to be seen as "symbol of strength"?

Abeg!

Some took morning after pills and it failed..Abortion can cause future problems like infertility.

The comments from some men here are disheartening...my dear you came to the wrong platform to share your story and seek solution to your problem honestly.

Hello engineers in the house, please my iPhone 7 is currently not receiving network, it keeps showing “no service” meaning no cellular network or data, I’ve changes SIM cards and constantly putting it on airplane mode ,still no solution

Hello engineers in the house, please my iPhone 7 is currently not receiving network, it keeps showing “no service” meaning no cellular network or data, I’ve changes SIM cards and constantly putting it on airplane mode ,still no solution

Who is blackmailing the father?he has never set eyes on his kid, who is fighting him over custody please? Abeg I no want generalizations

Microwhy:
Don't mind them..
They will be fighting the men over custody but they don't have the power to cater for the child order than using the child to blackmail the father.

I don’t know for others, every situation is different so is my own case, as for me there’s nothing between him and I anymore, he got married when I was pregnant, his wife today was pregnant before we met

marriagebyigbo:
Exactly... Ifyyy25 no matter how u claim strong... The truth is if that guy comes back, he might still get u back again... One problem with single mothers... Just one big problem..

Despite the hardship he put u, u might still take him. Back if he comes


U can't control it, ladies are meant like dt

I don’t and will never have any soul tie with him, we don’t talk at all he’s not in my child’s life

ifko:
The problem single mums have is that most of you usually have hidden soul tie with your babydaddy which scared away potential suitors.
I pray God in his infinite mercy will give you your own husband and pls be faithful to him.
Shalom

I’m 25

marriagebyigbo:
How old are you now!!!

But if it’s the man she will forgive him bah

77Craze:
Lolz for me never!

Hey dear check your email

OgiPrincess:
Thank you so much, I really appreciate.

I'm O positive, is there something I should know please?

brunnette4real:
My dear sister, what has happened happened already it's time to move on you have a bright future.

A very good close friend of mine committed 4 abortions for 2 different guys, the guys were not ready to commit when she told them she was pregnant, She was depressed at a time, but with moral support and encouragement she pulled through.

She is married now with a beautiful daughter and We have kept this as a secret and her past also never to tell anyone.

I am just telling you this to encourage you, we all have our story and this is yours. Just keep pushing and let what happened be a lesson.


You will be alright.

I’m happy for her if she decided to be a single mom by having any of those kids she won’t have gotten married

Poster please send me a pm we need to talk

OgiPrincess:
I was 24 years old, living in a room and parlour self-contain. Working two jobs in Lagos and a Christian.

I met him in church, he was my first, he had no job, I helped put his CV together.

I've been alone for so long I had a messed up idea as to what love truly is and what belonging should not take from you.

We were together for 4 months only. Everything happened so fast from never being with a man sexually to having an abortion six months later.

I followed my acquaintance home from work that morning. I took a pill with an alcoholic bitters and inserted a pill in my vagina... A full bladder woke me up from sleep but on getting to the restroom I didn't urinate. I felt a huge lump drop off my vagina, I couldn't bring myself to look I flushed.

What followed was almost two weeks of bleeding and excruciating pain, faintness, weakness and numbness. I didn't feel relieved...

Prior to getting the abortion. I had come on Nairaland to look for anyone who wanted a baby and shared a little of my story but I was faced with so much doubts and name calling I deactivated the account. I also updated my WhatsApp status asking if anyone wanted a baby but the person that was interested wanted to know if the parents are good looking. The deal fell through...

I'm an unplanned child, my mom hated me because of whatever my dad put her through and it caused me a lot emotional abuse. The reason as to why I'm out fending for myself, the reason as to why I decided to be chaste but the circles were unto me...

I didn't want to have a child I'll come to look at and hate because of the father. I felt I'd rather not have a child ever than have one and put them through what my own mother put me through.

6 months , a baby girl

Estanie:
Pls how old is ur baby?

People always cringe at the mention of Abortion but slut shame and condemn single mothers why?

Tadeknkeepcalm:
As in??
You sincerely wish you had killed the baby in your hands?

baby124:
My dear, if your baby is giving you so much negative thoughts you can leave it with an older family member you know will take good care of it and, make sure you send the person money and check up on baby regularly. Or you can give the baby up for adoption.

The baby does not deserve to suffer for something it doesn’t know about. You made the decision to have your baby so do everything within your power to make sure it has a good life including ensuring the father contributes. The baby is blameless here.

I also understand your feeling, it’s not easy for two parents to take care of a child not to talk of 1. It’s very tough. Kids are cute but can be full of trouble and very expensive.

Just be easy on yourself and take time to enjoy yourself or do things that make you happy as long as it doesn’t jeopardize the child’s life. Be careful bringing strange men and women around the child because of abuse. Even family members abuse.

Children who people think they are unwanted are abused 10x more. So be careful what you project to outsiders about your feelings towards your baby or being a single mum. If you can say it here, I am sure people know you are not very happy.

If it where in a more saner clime like America I would have given it up for adoption

My dear it’s too much, the nasty things I read online about single moms depresses me, red pill and the rest, I’m doing very well, I’m from a comfortable background and my family gives me a good support system, but mentally and emotionally the negative things I read online drains me

SweetCunt97:
Look, you alone can make yourself happy. Stigma? Shame? You need to be strong. Draw strength and joy from ur kid.. Let others go fvck demselves

My dear you took the best decision..you will get over the guilt with time.Im a single mom and I deeply regret not having an abortion, I’m so depressed .The shame and stigma on single moms Is too much, Abortion will save you from the abyss of depression called single motherhood

Is this a fiction or reality?