Hi people,

After the thread I created last time, a lot of comments came in, some were encouraging, some called me unprintable names while others claimed I was a troll. I was deeply hurt that I decided to stay away from Nairaland and social media entirely only for me to log in today and see how much attention my post has gotten, a lot of dms and the worst of it all a jobless imposter named profDview1 who claimed to be my ex...wow!

https://www.nairaland.com/5724496/like-said-she-lying-not

Please I would like to state clearly that I am not a troll neither is that guy my ex. My ex maybe on Nairaland but definitely not that dude. I have never, I repeat, never hit him before in my life. I have never slept with any of his friends before. The guy I know will never forgive you if he smells any aroma of cheating around you. The guys post made me laugh all through coz the one I dated knows I don't chat with people I do not know online. He has my password so how then am I flirting online? The funniest part was the claim that he forces me to take contraceptives lol. Imagine him stating clearly he doesn't want me and I still stayed. Same guy that has been begging that I should stick with him. He said he gave me money to start my business...biggest joke ever.

Dear imposter, kindly answer these questions to verify your claim
1. Where did we meet
2. Which school did I study and what course
3. Where do you teach, the department and your position
4. What date did you bury your father
5. How many hostels did I live in during my undergraduate days.
6. What's the nature of my business
7. When last did we meet and where
8. What's your favorite club name
7. What gift did I buy for you on your last birthday and what gift did you buy on mine
8. What's the name of our favorite spot
9. What channel do I love watching most and which do we like watching together
10. And lastly, how many sisters do you have.

The poster is making it look like a script but God in heaven knows that everything I said in the first thread and this one is nothing but the truth. I wonder why people play with everything. He didn't state anything outside what I wrote in my first thread. If truly he's the guy, he would have at least given a little detail or say something else differnt from " I told her I am not ready for marriage". Some people should fear God o.

Lastly I want to appreciate everyone who contributed on my first thread, I took some of the advice and I am doing better though it's not that easy but I know time is the greatest healer. Thank you all.

GboyegaD:


Apparently, you are a troll and just seeking attention. The energy you are displaying here is enough to save you from your misery if your story is indeed true. You are here acting like a reasonable person online meanwhile, you are living a mess. Aunty, focus on your life and be better than being the best on social network.

And some of you be acting so uncultured online hmm. Imagine this is offline and a lady tells her story and another lady who doesn't know her just walks in and start calling her names, what would you do. The problem is some of you act like your life is perfect online while offline you have issues making you gnash your teeth daily. What you type online is who you are in real life. And mind you, relationship issues doesn't make my life a mess. you are probably going through worse.

GboyegaD:


Will you keep quiet? If you are this smart, you would have looked past your weakness. She was being real but I guess what you are seeking is sympathy. Appreciate her comment, pick what you need from it, and move on.

Including calling someone she doesn't know a mumu? name calling isn't the right way... never! And someone is here supporting it... nawaa oo.

healthserve:



Na your matter. My tears would at best be hypocritical. I'm not the one to form strong for. Get your priorities right . Leave with whatever remaining sharpnels left that you and cutnyour loses short perhaps you cna trade those pieces for a little better

I never misplaced them in the first place ok. Anyways enough of the mention. I won't reply your mention again. I don't think you are any different from the lover of mine.

healthserve:



Syas the one living less than a dog in a loveless pitiful existence. You don't even love yourself to take good counsel. What's the purpose of this fight.. tell me. I don't even treat the househelps like your lover's treating you. Not my househelps, no workers. I feel sorry for you

Don't cry... you don't need to cry.

healthserve:



Lol. Who's in it, Who created a thread.. Me?.. LMAO. If you wanna prove to ke you're strong, you've failed. It's to that dude you should be doing it to, not me.

I created a thread and you decided to show the whole world your true colours. Can't you be civilized? You can make a point while being civil too you know.

healthserve:



Yes. Cause it's like you dont like your life. Anyways. Your issues. My life's pretty much too fantastic to care about your issues. Just take care.

Audio fantastic lol. next time drink plenty water it helps a lot. Gracias!

healthserve:



You need solution. My anger has subsuided. Can you call me up for like ten minutes. I just want to share a broef which i know, and I'm sure 100% will remove you from where you are and chnage things completely.. in your relationship dept..

I don't talk to people with anger issues. You that threatened to beat me. In the midst of all these, I am still calm yet you are boiling like hot water.

healthserve:
Mugu. This kinds won't make good husbands even after marriage. If they treat you like thrash during courtship, what makes you believe you'll be treated any better in maarriage



You should be celebrating not getting married to the guy you described above. My counsel to you is to remain single even if you don't get another suitor propose to you than to marry this one. Flee


Smh vigorously. How i wish i can see you small let me beat you seriously. Smh vigorously. I was too soft with you with my comments above.

You're a big full. An unrepentant shameless human being. I spit on your shamelessness. You're so shameless that your shamelessness is making me angry. How i wish you fit make mistake see me in person. I'll flog you with canes till your senses returned


When you excessively and emotionally invest in a toxic relationship, it's hard to detach. Asides your sexcapades with the muron you're entangles with , there's nothing of good worrh here. Nothing.



He has seen you finished to the extent even in your presence, he says you don't exist. And you're still there. Smh Vigorously. How i wosh you and I cna meet in person make i beat you small. Dont you have brothers to talk senses into you? You're still thinking thru your vagina or his deek game is so wonderful, it has stolen your senses.


You are a big full. You're a terrible eediot for making your parents labor to end in the hands of such a fool. I spit on your stvpidity. Have some shame, dignity, and self respect and break this nonsense.


What's worse. He is making you depend on him so you don't have the power to live your life. Emasculating you from the possibility of choices and you're pushing away people who love you because you're in love with someone who doesn't.

Continue with your stvpid adultery. Olodo

You're an eediot. I give up on you. Full

And you think this made sense? Common sense indeed is not common.

pocohantas:


Sorry babe. The aim isn’t to insult you, but then- you are not acting very smart on this. You will agree with me you are not, it isn’t spiritual at all.

Everyone has a weakness, some even have more than one. including you that claims to be smart. The fact that I am weak in one area doesn't make me dumb. I know I will break free from it so the fact I tried to fight for love doesn't make me foolish.

pocohantas:


Na their way. Aunty wey mumu.

And you are smart? You don't go about insulting people in the name of being smart. it doesn't tell good of you.

centboy123456:



yes it about Nigeria girls cuz u can never see a white lady reason something like this and note not all relationships that will lead to marriage

Nigerian girls too like marriage go to church u see a the girls there what are they looking for is husband God give me husband

but u can never see a white lady praying such prayers

must everybody marry rubbish marry marry na be the only tin Nigerians girls know

The indirect and direct insult and pressure your society gives, does the whites give it to their children? You people want to change everything overnight when you have not changed the African mentality. As if you are different from other Nigerians. What you men sometimes don't do is defining your relationship. State your intentions and don't go about deceiving people.

EliteDude:

Whatever that means!
I feel pain truely.

You are wrong, I feel great.

EliteDude:
This kind news dey pain me...
At the end after enjoying the better part of tnis lady, some dude some where bo marry fairly usdd product.

Damn!!! Tear Leather scarce oooooooo

Ina akogheli nno

Acidosis:

Your case is different my sister. Come let me break that yoke upon your life.

pray for me in your closet.

Acidosis:


Naturally, we all gravitate towards what we are familiar with. Problem is many are familiar with terrible things. You can't be familiar with good things and still choose to stick with the bad. Examine yourself, what kind of people do you surround yourself with? It is not normal to fall in love with bad people. It is ma.dness to find descent and good men unattractive. When a woman says they don't or can't seem to love a good man, I immediately consider them as people with terrific upbringing. You can't grow with good people and find good men unattractive.

My own case is totally different. My upbringing, people around me are great! All my sisters married good men and they are still married. I am the last and they are all surprised why I am still single till now. My problem has always been taking that bold step. Another thing is, when I love and haven't wrap things up, I can't love another person.

LilMissFavvy:
''But yet he doesn't want to marry me or let me go'' Listen to yourself girl, he is not the one who is holding you, rather you are the one who is holding on to him, refusing to quit despite all the red flags. You've given this old man 5yrs to toy around with your emotions, yes that big age Gap makes him an old man compared to you. If he has not discussed marriage, what are you still waiting for? Tomorrow you will say all men are bad, forgetting that you locked up yourself in a bad relationship without giving other men a chance in your life.

Even if you are uglyyy, it is not enough reason for a young girl of 27 to allow a very mature man treat you like trash, I feel you must be extremely uggllyy to allow a man treat you so badly, but there is someone for everyone, so don't allow this man continue to rubbish you and your self esteem.

You also mentioned below that he said the problem is spiritual, if it is spiritual and he is not ready to help himself, there is nothing you can do about it. Stop calling him, if he realizes his errors and comes back, with a clear stand on marrying you, then you can accept him back. If he does not care to call you or talk about marriage dump him asap, get yourself another relationship, so that you will not hurt much. If you do not give another man a chance asap, you will hurt badly and deeply, 7yrs isn't a joke.

Funny enough I am not close to ugly. I am beautiful and light skinned.I can't post my picture here lol. My skin colour alone attracts people to me. My supervisors where I did my IT still calls me till date. both married and single. A lot of guys don't talk to me again coz I have cancelled numerous appointments with them. I look younger than my age even. I am independent and come from a good background. Not like I can't get another man but then I don't have feelings for them.

pocohantas:


My dear, when a man is ready, when a man really wants you? Na you go run. The fire in them at that point dey pass women own sef.

The problem with some of you is that you think relationship is all about love. Nah! Lots of strategy is involved. I won’t say more than that...

Again, what other strategies are you talking about

Acidosis:


It's no fault of yours that you find a hot, chocolate, and sweet 40 year old boy irresistible. You're not alone, trust me.

Not like he's that hot. I have been the one helping him to stay fit if not his stomach would have been so big by now.

pocohantas:


My dear, when a man is ready, when a man really wants you? Na you go run. The fire in them at that point dey pass women own sef.

The problem with some of you is that you think relationship is all about love. Nah! Lots of strategy is involved. I won’t say more than that...

I know coz I have a man that all these years I have been dating this guy, has not given up. He says one day I will come to my senses and come to him. I even get tired of his complaints and calls. He came for my sister's burial even without me inviting him. he only saw the poster on my facebook wall. he dropped everyone that came from my village that day in town, took my mom home. he's ever ready to do anything for me. he's 31 now, a senior colleague when I was in year 1. the thing is I don't love him. maybe my problem is spiritual coz I tend to love the wrong people.

GraGra247:


Ma'am you're either suffering from a chronic evil soul tie or the man has used very potent juju on you.

Either way you have to run away from him as fast as your feet can carry you because even if he marries you(which is unlikely) he'll still keep multiple girlfriends outside and bring HIV home one day.

As well you need to seek very strong deliverance. I didn't believe in such things but unfortunately they exist. Try MFM prayer city, Lagos ibadan express.

I'm not a pastor. I'm not even their born again but I've sure witnessed strange things from people.

No he's not the juju type. regardless what he did to me, I can't speak ill of him. but then I rule the prayer part out. I will give it a try this time.

Acidosis:
To be honest, dating any man in that age group would come with many troubles. Ideally, a man of 35-40 years shouldn't be single. When you meet or fall in love with these men (which is what most women of these days prefer), you should be prepared to fight through. The solution is simple: fight through until he becomes yours through marriage (and be prepared to fight on to keep him)

The other solution is to quit. Get yourself another man and grow together. There are truly no 35-40 year old single men out there. They're always entangled with one or more women, one troublesome ex, etc etc. The decision is yours to make.

I'm tired of fighting. I have tried my best.

Ishilove:
Ineedtoheal, I wish you are physically close to me so I can give you a very hot slap on the back. The kind Yoruba people call 'abara'.

I have no words for you because reading your post is just making me vexed. Stay there o. You will soon receive his wedding IV.

MSCHEEEEEEEEW.

Lol this your comment made me laugh but then I get it all.

GraGra247:


I agree with you but most ladies always allow their emotions to drive them to "slavish" attachment once they meet a good looking successful man.

Take it from me there's no sensible advice anyone will give her here that she will eventually adhere to.

Once the man talks to her with sweet words she'll run back into his arms and waste another 10 years giving an idiot free sex without marriage.

Its called Soul-tie. Women enjoy it a lot. It like a chronic addiction, highly possessive. I already discussed it partially on this thread:

https://www.nairaland.com/5686294/true-love-fake-love

It has nothing to do with him being successful. I have other people more successful and ready to spend on me that I refused and haven't said yes to. I don't know what it is about him.

faithugo64:
After 5 years?
Nne please find your square root
From your story, it is clear, even to the blind that he has no plans for you. Stop wasting your precious time with him, he is standing in the way of your blessings. Allow your Ishmael to go so your Isaac can come

My two cents!

Maybe I forgot to add this, he said its a spiritual thing. That it didn't start with me.

BLEMOSEDU:
There is this question that has always been on my mind about relationships between the sexes, why do Nigerian girls think once a man is in relationship with them it must lead to marriage?
And once the relationship starts they will start counting years etc.
Must it always lead to marriage?
Can't they just enjoy the moment?
With the way divorce has skyrocketed in recent times, one wonders why these relationships are always all about marriage for most ladies.
I'm just asking ni o
Before people crucify me.

No one says it must lead to marriage oga. why keep what you don't need? If You really don't see yourself in few years time with someone, why waste their time? did you really read all I wrote? coz if you did, you wouldn't have make this comment.
I have begged him on several occasions to end things with me if he knows we don't have a future together but he refused. Mind you, it's not just a Nigerian thing. you guys are so quick in calling Nigerian girls out.

eduman365:
@Ineedtoheal

You are addicted to him, maybe because of the the constant sex and being a good girl, you don't want to share your body with other men. It's called a soul tie. Whereas a guy who has multiple sex partners has little bits of emotional ties with each one...

A man that has been having sex with you for more than 5 years will always have you at his beck and call... That's probably the only reason you keep going back to him cos you know he doesn't treat you right, from all you have written.

You girls are usually the cause of the emotional maltreatment you face from guys. But I won't talk much about that. Even your late sister asked you to leave the relationship, but you didn't listen.

It's a hard choice to make I agree, but once you let go, you'll meet someone truly deserving.

I will try harder this time.

sisisioge:
Chai! Biko leave him alone and go find yours! That guy is a no gooder for you biko. Before you know it, he will turn you into " I dated a guy for 10yrs"! I did baby...so take it from a veteran and run

Thanks sis. I'm praying for the will power to do that. it's as if I am powerless when it comes to him.

thorpido:
There was a guy on one thread one time that made a wonderful comment about 'old midnight newspaper men' and their weariness to settle down.

You didn't take your time enough to study this guy and see he's just a player/non-committal guy.He showed signs of unseriouness from the beginning.
I will advise you to move on.This guy really doesn't want to settle and definitely won't settle for you.
Block his calls.Stop calling him.Block him on social media.It will hurt for a few days but you will get over it Better than just giving free kpekus to a guy who won't marry you and you are 27yrs already.

He's not my friend on social media except WhatsApp that we chat once in a while. Wait till evening and you see his texts and calls pouring in. I have blocked him on severally but once I forgive him, I will unblock him again.

LordIsaac:
Kai... Things we read daily that we think common sense can handle... Naija ehn

Pray not to be in my shoes someday coz even common sense will fail you.

hopeforcharles:
Keep him at arm's length, make sure u make plans to date and accept proposal from other serious suitors.
Because frlm your post he has lost interest in marrying you.

I wish he will let me be and not try sweet talking me into opening my heart to him again.

dawnomike:
Kindly port before it is too late if you feel you are not in his plans for marriage... Forget the 5 yrs!
It is better to lose 5 years than a lifetime of regrets.

Now to the raw truth: DO NOT BE A FOOL IN LOVE WHEN THERE ARE OTHER MEN OUT THERE LOOKONG FOR SOMEONE LIKE YOU!!!
RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!!

Thanks so much I will have to try this time.