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I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage - Family (5) - Nairaland

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Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by healthserve(m): 3:30pm On Mar 06, 2020
Ineedtoheal:

I never misplaced them in the first place ok. Anyways enough of the mention. I won't reply your mention again. I don't think you are any different from the lover of mine.

lol.I'm a " god " however moderate and hunble I'll like to present it. Ladies queing up and being discarded are beyond..not just quantity. The quality. So you can imagine if qualitt wome in quantity are after a guy, wgat would he be like.. that's me.. anyways.i wish you well. I'm busy. Cya
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Sixfeetbelle: 3:34pm On Mar 06, 2020
EliteDude:


I am still saying theasme thing, tear rubber scarec, because the babes are cheap o....
Hmmm, Lord. I pray for tear rubber o

Stop praying for tear rubber if you're not one yourself. cheesy Let Virgins marry virgins, and non-virgins marry non-virgins

2 Likes

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by GboyegaD(m): 3:37pm On Mar 06, 2020
Ineedtoheal:

Including calling someone she doesn't know a mumu? name calling isn't the right way... never! And someone is here supporting it... nawaa oo.

Apparently, you are a troll and just seeking attention. The energy you are displaying here is enough to save you from your misery if your story is indeed true. You are here acting like a reasonable person online meanwhile, you are living a mess. Aunty, focus on your life and be better than being the best on social network.

9 Likes

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Ineedtoheal(f): 3:43pm On Mar 06, 2020
GboyegaD:


Apparently, you are a troll and just seeking attention. The energy you are displaying here is enough to save you from your misery if your story is indeed true. You are here acting like a reasonable person online meanwhile, you are living a mess. Aunty, focus on your life and be better than being the best on social network.
And some of you be acting so uncultured online hmm. Imagine this is offline and a lady tells her story and another lady who doesn't know her just walks in and start calling her names, what would you do. The problem is some of you act like your life is perfect online while offline you have issues making you gnash your teeth daily. What you type online is who you are in real life. And mind you, relationship issues doesn't make my life a mess. you are probably going through worse.

14 Likes

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by GboyegaD(m): 3:48pm On Mar 06, 2020
Ineedtoheal:

And some of you be acting so uncultured online hmm. Imagine this is offline and a lady tells her story and another lady who doesn't know her just walks in and start calling her names, what would you do. The problem is some of you act like your life is perfect online while offline you have issues making you gnash your teeth daily. What you type online is who you are in real life. And mind you, relationship issues doesn't make my life a mess. you are probably going through worse.

It wasn't about the name calling however, if it is sensed that the lady needs some tough love, it is better she hears things that will make her think and act properly than petting her and not improving her situation. When people share their story particularly to outsiders, it is because they are not seeking pity parties and need help. Leave those calling you names and pick that which is necessary.

Like most said, it is not your business to fix a grown ass man and if he can disregard and disrespect you at this stage, you or no business dealing with him. One of the major ingredients of love is respect. At least if he wouldn't respect you, do yourself good by respecting yourself and take a walk now that you have realized.

7 Likes

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Saintmary(f): 3:49pm On Mar 06, 2020
Ineedtoheal:

And some of you be acting so uncultured online hmm. Imagine this is offline and a lady tells her story and another lady who doesn't know her just walks in and start calling her names, what would you do. The problem is some of you act like your life is perfect online while offline you have issues making you gnash your teeth daily. What you type online is who you are in real life. And mind you, relationship issues doesn't make my life a mess. you are probably going through worse.
Now your story seems fake, wish I could withdraw my earlier comment

3 Likes

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by EliteDude(m): 3:52pm On Mar 06, 2020
Sixfeetbelle:


Stop praying for tear rubber if you're not one yourself. cheesy Let Virgins marry virgins, and non-virgins marry non-virgins

Yes o, Imagine after keeping yourself, come go marry UK Used.... that na big time falling hands.

anyway of knowing a tear rubber? Does it show in their face?

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Fountainofyouth(f): 4:03pm On Mar 06, 2020
Ineedtoheal:


6. On his Fathers burial last year, 3 of his girlfriends came (me inclusive) and we all wore the burial uniform. Together, we served his guests even when we realized we are dating same man. His neighbors were giggling and gossiping but we all decided to be matured and work together.

.


I was trying to be cool, till I got to the above, girl, wtf will make you do this? Where is your sense of self worth and dignity? Where did you keep the whole of your head before going for this burial? Why the hell will you allow another human being treat you like this? Is it the sex? Is it the fvcking sex? You really need to diick another man asap so that you will be free from him, cos for the life of me, I am trying to understand why, knowing you were three at the burial, you decided to still stay and get mocked,

Even if he decides to marry you today, with all the nonsense he did to you, he will still cheat on you to your face and you will be fine with it, babe wtf!!! undecided

11 Likes

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by thorpido(m): 4:12pm On Mar 06, 2020
Ineedtoheal:

He's not my friend on social media except WhatsApp that we chat once in a while. Wait till evening and you see his texts and calls pouring in. I have blocked him on severally but once I forgive him, I will unblock him again.
You don't need to forgive him,as a matter of fact,you need to forgive yourself for wasting your time añd letting someone mess with your emotions.
Get a grip on yourself and tell yourself you deserve better.

2 Likes

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Nobody: 4:18pm On Mar 06, 2020
Two people you cant advice:
* A woman in love
* A man with money

12 Likes

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by shomutuski(m): 4:23pm On Mar 06, 2020
Love they craze oooo!!!! It's okay, you're still 27.. Go where the love is sister..

Look for who will reciprocate your energy oooo.
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by arent88(m): 4:29pm On Mar 06, 2020
Fountainofyouth:



I was trying to be cool, till I got to the above, girl, wtf will make you do this? Where is your sense of self worth and dignity? Where did you keep the whole of your head before going for this burial? Why the hell will you allow another human being treat you like this? Is it the sex? Is it the fvcking sex? You really need to diick another man asap so that you will be free from him, cos for the life of me, I am trying to understand why, knowing you were three at the burial, you decided to still stay and get mocked,

Even if he decides to marry you today, with all the nonsense he did to you, he will still cheat on you to your face and you will be fine with it, babe wtf!!! undecided
you really do not need to waste your energy, I think this story is fake. you can tell from her replies that she is just catching fun with the story.

4 Likes

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Nobody: 4:38pm On Mar 06, 2020
EliteDude:


God bless you. Its ladies like the OP that makes this thing so cheap, and one thing i dread more than any other thing is marrying a fairly usedddddddddd product. Damn....


You are telling a fairly used evening newspaper God bless you only to end it with one you dread the most is fairly used product, what makes you think she is descent than OP. some guys here tho

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Graxie(f): 4:47pm On Mar 06, 2020
Tomorrow now, this one will start advising young girls, endure, I know how I suffered but today, he is my husband. She will even add prayers to top up her stupidity. Ndi Uchu. Maka amu, uburu gi Nile agwu go. Ataromgi, o Ndi na enye gi ndumodu Kam na emere ebere. Itiboribo, okpo.

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Sixfeetbelle: 5:02pm On Mar 06, 2020
EliteDude:


Yes o, Imagine after keeping yourself, come go marry UK Used.... that na big time falling hands.

anyway of knowing a tear rubber? Does it show in their face?

This your question hard small, but I want to believe that with time and patience, the partner will know if their bae/boo is a virgin or not.

Truth is: It's just a gamble, really. Even a union of virgins only doesn't guarantee happiness and fulfillment in marriage.

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by pocohantas(f): 5:24pm On Mar 06, 2020
GboyegaD:


Apparently, you are a troll and just seeking attention. The energy you are displaying here is enough to save you from your misery if your story is indeed true. You are here acting like a reasonable person online meanwhile, you are living a mess. Aunty, focus on your life and be better than being the best on social network.

I am forced to agree with you. Maybe it could also be a severe case of Stockholm syndrome. If only she were half as defensive and confrontational with him. grin

10 Likes

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by GboyegaD(m): 5:29pm On Mar 06, 2020
pocohantas:


I am forced to agree with you. Maybe it could also be a severe case of Stockholm syndrome. If only she were half as defensive and confrontational with him. grin

Hopefully, she gets the strength she needs from within and move on as quick as possible.
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by faithfull18(f): 5:29pm On Mar 06, 2020
pocohantas:


My dear, when a man is ready, when a man really wants you? Na you go run. The fire in them at that point dey pass women own sef.

The problem with some of you is that you think relationship is all about love. Nah! Lots of strategy is involved. I won’t say more than that... cheesy
Lol, I tell you. There's just a limit to what one can put out there.

A lot of ladies need to place value on themselves. She doesn't even need to block him if she is that serious.

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Ulunne777(f): 6:56pm On Mar 06, 2020
Ineedtoheal:

Maybe I forgot to add this, he said its a spiritual thing. That it didn't start with me.

Stop listening to his bullshit story!
Let him. Sort his spiritual issue himself.

Ever relationship from the first day should be defined.

Cmon wake up. You are better than the way he is treating you.
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by egopersonified(f): 7:02pm On Mar 06, 2020
Everyone will tell you to leave, but leaving someone you love is not easy. You have to kill that love first. Look for something you really dislike, for example, his cheating. Start to tell yourself that you hate a cheating man. Remind yourself that the last time you left because he cheated, you went back to him but the cheating didn't stop. Tell yourself that this is how you will keep going back till you are old and wrinkled, except you stop it now. Trick your subconscious to see him as a bad guy, and your emotions will follow. And don't call him to tell him it's over, just stop calling, texting, etc. Block him on every social media platform and everywhere else.


And if you are reading this and I did this to you, sorry, life na brain brain.

4 Likes

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by worworbabe: 7:22pm On Mar 06, 2020
I know how you feel since I have been in a similar situation before. Although I wasn't as disrespected as you have been and thank goodness I never spent a dime on him. Lol. The only similarity was thinking that I loved someone who didn't reciprocate it.

I now know what true love is as I have been blessed with an amazing man who loves me dearly.

I know you are afraid that you won't find someone else. Let go of him and you'd be surprised that there are good fishes in the ocean.

3 Likes

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Nobody: 8:29pm On Mar 06, 2020
Ineedtoheal:

My own case is totally different. My upbringing, people around me are great! All my sisters married good men and they are still married. I am the last and they are all surprised why I am still single till now. My problem has always been taking that bold step. Another thing is, when I love and haven't wrap things up, I can't love another person.
gosh!! This is something else, 27 to 40! What did you actually see in him! He flaunts other ladies and doesn't even behave he's going to marry you! Where my heart break was seeing 3 of you wearing same clothes like his fiancees to serve at his father's burial! That's very awkward! You should get some self esteem and be definite about the whole relationship, call him to the table of decision and validate your decision. That should help you with the next step to take.
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by lovelybugs(f): 8:39pm On Mar 06, 2020
Ineedtoheal:
Hi Famlanders, Please I need your advice. I beg you all to save a sister. I have to bring this here coz I know it's where I will get wonderful contributions. Again, I am using this new account coz I have friends and customers here. I don't want to blow my cover. Please this is real and not fiction. This will be quite lengthy, please bear with me.

I met this guy in 2013 when I was in year one. It was not a steady relationship coz we barely call nor see so I didn't take him serious. And whenever we see, it was always at one friends house or another. I accused him of being married but he vehemently denied it. Later on I figured out he had accommodation issue after he lost his job. He later rented a house when he got another job with one of our prestigious federal universities here in Nigeria and that was when things became serious (kinda).

We became very serious around 2016 that is why I count it as 5 years instead of 7. But then during one of my visits, I was sleeping in the room when I overheard him talking to someone but the only thing that caught my attention was when he said "I don't even have a girlfriend". Though I didn't confront him, but I thought about it deeply.

Two nights ago, I had a dream where he was getting married to another lady. I was crying while he was still saying he loves me but can't marry me. I confronted him yesterday, he said I am pressurizing him to marry me that was after he first asked what will happen if we don't end up together. He hasn't told me where the relationship is leading to after 5 years. We have been living for the moment. Just for the moment!

Few info about the relationship
1) He will be 40 this November while I am 27.
2. He has always had numerous girlfriends that when he's with them, he doesn't pick my calls though he always apologizes and he's trying his best this year.

3. He always send pictures of other women to his friends to let them know they are the people he wish to marry but never has he sent mine. Though he claims he's not doing it again.

4. From the look of things he's still searching while he wants to have me all to himself. Maybe a second option since the others are not accepting him and I love him foolishly.

5. The relationship is 50 -50 .We spend on each other. He believes it's the woman's duty to do all the house chores but not the man's duty to take care of the woman.

6. On his Fathers burial last year, 3 of his girlfriends came (me inclusive) and we all wore the burial uniform. Together, we served his guests even when we realized we are dating same man. His neighbors were giggling and gossiping but we all decided to be matured and work together.

7. When my sister that raised me died, he didn't come for the burial. his reason was he had supervision that day in school,same person that calls his colleague to cover for him during exam supervision so he could do other things. He also didn't send me any money but he questioned me for not giving him any money for his Father's burial. Even when I paid him excess for the burial uniform. I know why I did that. Mind you, he has asked me before if he can give one of his ex 10k during her Father's burial which I agreed and he sent her the money.

8. I have rejected some suitors who were willing to marry me coz of him. Though he has never encouraged me to accept any of them. In fact he gets angry hearing that another man is coming close to me.

9. He doesn't call often, I do more of the calling though he always return my calls. He can stay for days without calling unless I call. I know I have been the one holding the relationship coz I thought he will change.

10. Sine 2017 till last year, all I did was forgive him coz I love him. He keeps bringing new / different ladies into the picture. I have gone through a lot of emotional stress. He keeps asking me to stay that he loves me but he's confused.

His good side: He's understanding, motivates me to do my best, he doesn't hit me, he is gentle.

Me on the other hand is sometimes stubborn though very faithful coz I love him to a fault. I easily get angry but forgives easily. When I'm angry I talk so much but I don't abuse him. He is simply the cause of all my anger. He always say I am very understanding, a good girl, drama free but yet he doesn't want to marry me and won't let me go too. I have never involved a third party in our relationship except my late sister who said she wish I will walk away from the relationship because I love the guy more, that it won't end well. All my friends thinks I have a perfect relationship because I don't discuss him with them.

Back to last night, I told him I won't call him again coz he said I am pressurizing him to marry me. The truth is I have seen the hand writing on the wall, not today but two years ago but I keep going back. Please I need advice on how not to go back again. The love he proclaims for me is not enough for him to marry. I have wasted enough time already. Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.


Whatever jazz this guy used is strong oooo!!

Ayele!

My sister run run run!

also, I'm lowkey surprised that no one is calling her a virtuous and submissive woman.
Haha
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by echibuogwu(m): 8:43pm On Mar 06, 2020
Aunty move on before it’s too late, live life, give other better people a chance, that guy is just wasting ur time.
Ineedtoheal:
Hi Famlanders, Please I need your advice. I beg you all to save a sister. I have to bring this here coz I know it's where I will get wonderful contributions. Again, I am using this new account coz I have friends and customers here. I don't want to blow my cover. Please this is real and not fiction. This will be quite lengthy, please bear with me.

I met this guy in 2013 when I was in year one. It was not a steady relationship coz we barely call nor see so I didn't take him serious. And whenever we see, it was always at one friends house or another. I accused him of being married but he vehemently denied it. Later on I figured out he had accommodation issue after he lost his job. He later rented a house when he got another job with one of our prestigious federal universities here in Nigeria and that was when things became serious (kinda).

We became very serious around 2016 that is why I count it as 5 years instead of 7. But then during one of my visits, I was sleeping in the room when I overheard him talking to someone but the only thing that caught my attention was when he said "I don't even have a girlfriend". Though I didn't confront him, but I thought about it deeply.

Two nights ago, I had a dream where he was getting married to another lady. I was crying while he was still saying he loves me but can't marry me. I confronted him yesterday, he said I am pressurizing him to marry me that was after he first asked what will happen if we don't end up together. He hasn't told me where the relationship is leading to after 5 years. We have been living for the moment. Just for the moment!

Few info about the relationship
1) He will be 40 this November while I am 27.
2. He has always had numerous girlfriends that when he's with them, he doesn't pick my calls though he always apologizes and he's trying his best this year.

3. He always send pictures of other women to his friends to let them know they are the people he wish to marry but never has he sent mine. Though he claims he's not doing it again.

4. From the look of things he's still searching while he wants to have me all to himself. Maybe a second option since the others are not accepting him and I love him foolishly.

5. The relationship is 50 -50 .We spend on each other. He believes it's the woman's duty to do all the house chores but not the man's duty to take care of the woman.

6. On his Fathers burial last year, 3 of his girlfriends came (me inclusive) and we all wore the burial uniform. Together, we served his guests even when we realized we are dating same man. His neighbors were giggling and gossiping but we all decided to be matured and work together.

7. When my sister that raised me died, he didn't come for the burial. his reason was he had supervision that day in school,same person that calls his colleague to cover for him during exam supervision so he could do other things. He also didn't send me any money but he questioned me for not giving him any money for his Father's burial. Even when I paid him excess for the burial uniform. I know why I did that. Mind you, he has asked me before if he can give one of his ex 10k during her Father's burial which I agreed and he sent her the money.

8. I have rejected some suitors who were willing to marry me coz of him. Though he has never encouraged me to accept any of them. In fact he gets angry hearing that another man is coming close to me.

9. He doesn't call often, I do more of the calling though he always return my calls. He can stay for days without calling unless I call. I know I have been the one holding the relationship coz I thought he will change.

10. Sine 2017 till last year, all I did was forgive him coz I love him. He keeps bringing new / different ladies into the picture. I have gone through a lot of emotional stress. He keeps asking me to stay that he loves me but he's confused.

His good side: He's understanding, motivates me to do my best, he doesn't hit me, he is gentle.

Me on the other hand is sometimes stubborn though very faithful coz I love him to a fault. I easily get angry but forgives easily. When I'm angry I talk so much but I don't abuse him. He is simply the cause of all my anger. He always say I am very understanding, a good girl, drama free but yet he doesn't want to marry me and won't let me go too. I have never involved a third party in our relationship except my late sister who said she wish I will walk away from the relationship because I love the guy more, that it won't end well. All my friends thinks I have a perfect relationship because I don't discuss him with them.

Back to last night, I told him I won't call him again coz he said I am pressurizing him to marry me. The truth is I have seen the hand writing on the wall, not today but two years ago but I keep going back. Please I need advice on how not to go back again. The love he proclaims for me is not enough for him to marry. I have wasted enough time already. Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by SweetCunt97(f): 8:44pm On Mar 06, 2020
Ineedtoheal:

I wish he will let me be and not try sweet talking me into opening my heart to him again.
Look, lemme give you a scope. Delete everything about him, block his number. Simply wipe him off. Start afresh. He's a time waster instilled into your life by ur enemies... Forget about love, forget about marriage with this dude, sis he's nothing to write home about at all. Don't go into marriage with d wrong person and regret for d rest of ur life. Kai mbah biko
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by SweetCunt97(f): 8:45pm On Mar 06, 2020
Tosinex:
gosh!! This is something else, 27 to 40! What did you actually see in him! He flaunts other ladies and doesn't even behave he's going to marry you! Where my heart break was seeing 3 of you wearing same clothes like his fiancees to serve at his father's burial! That's very awkward! You should get some self esteem and be definite about the whole relationship, call him to the table of decision and validate your decision. That should help you with the next step to take.
Imagine! 40 when his strength is no longer there, probably flabby with pot belly. Proper night paper.

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Nobody: 9:10pm On Mar 06, 2020
Ineedtoheal:
Hi Famlanders, Please I need your advice. I beg you all to save a sister. I have to bring this here coz I know it's where I will get wonderful contributions. Again, I am using this new account coz I have friends and customers here. I don't want to blow my cover. Please this is real and not fiction. This will be quite lengthy, please bear with me.

I met this guy in 2013 when I was in year one. It was not a steady relationship coz we barely call nor see so I didn't take him serious. And whenever we see, it was always at one friends house or another. I accused him of being married but he vehemently denied it. Later on I figured out he had accommodation issue after he lost his job. He later rented a house when he got another job with one of our prestigious federal universities here in Nigeria and that was when things became serious (kinda).

We became very serious around 2016 that is why I count it as 5 years instead of 7. But then during one of my visits, I was sleeping in the room when I overheard him talking to someone but the only thing that caught my attention was when he said "I don't even have a girlfriend". Though I didn't confront him, but I thought about it deeply.

Two nights ago, I had a dream where he was getting married to another lady. I was crying while he was still saying he loves me but can't marry me. I confronted him yesterday, he said I am pressurizing him to marry me that was after he first asked what will happen if we don't end up together. He hasn't told me where the relationship is leading to after 5 years. We have been living for the moment. Just for the moment!

Few info about the relationship
1) He will be 40 this November while I am 27.
2. He has always had numerous girlfriends that when he's with them, he doesn't pick my calls though he always apologizes and he's trying his best this year.

3. He always send pictures of other women to his friends to let them know they are the people he wish to marry but never has he sent mine. Though he claims he's not doing it again.

4. From the look of things he's still searching while he wants to have me all to himself. Maybe a second option since the others are not accepting him and I love him foolishly.

5. The relationship is 50 -50 .We spend on each other. He believes it's the woman's duty to do all the house chores but not the man's duty to take care of the woman.

6. On his Fathers burial last year, 3 of his girlfriends came (me inclusive) and we all wore the burial uniform. Together, we served his guests even when we realized we are dating same man. His neighbors were giggling and gossiping but we all decided to be matured and work together.

7. When my sister that raised me died, he didn't come for the burial. his reason was he had supervision that day in school,same person that calls his colleague to cover for him during exam supervision so he could do other things. He also didn't send me any money but he questioned me for not giving him any money for his Father's burial. Even when I paid him excess for the burial uniform. I know why I did that. Mind you, he has asked me before if he can give one of his ex 10k during her Father's burial which I agreed and he sent her the money.

8. I have rejected some suitors who were willing to marry me coz of him. Though he has never encouraged me to accept any of them. In fact he gets angry hearing that another man is coming close to me.

9. He doesn't call often, I do more of the calling though he always return my calls. He can stay for days without calling unless I call. I know I have been the one holding the relationship coz I thought he will change.

10. Sine 2017 till last year, all I did was forgive him coz I love him. He keeps bringing new / different ladies into the picture. I have gone through a lot of emotional stress. He keeps asking me to stay that he loves me but he's confused.

His good side: He's understanding, motivates me to do my best, he doesn't hit me, he is gentle.

Me on the other hand is sometimes stubborn though very faithful coz I love him to a fault. I easily get angry but forgives easily. When I'm angry I talk so much but I don't abuse him. He is simply the cause of all my anger. He always say I am very understanding, a good girl, drama free but yet he doesn't want to marry me and won't let me go too. I have never involved a third party in our relationship except my late sister who said she wish I will walk away from the relationship because I love the guy more, that it won't end well. All my friends thinks I have a perfect relationship because I don't discuss him with them.

Back to last night, I told him I won't call him again coz he said I am pressurizing him to marry me. The truth is I have seen the hand writing on the wall, not today but two years ago but I keep going back. Please I need advice on how not to go back again. The love he proclaims for me is not enough for him to marry. I have wasted enough time already. Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.

You are a fool. Sex can't keep a man, get a work and get a life.
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Nobody: 9:20pm On Mar 06, 2020
Ineedtoheal:
Hi Famlanders, Please I need your advice. I beg you all to save a sister. I have to bring this here coz I know it's where I will get wonderful contributions. Again, I am using this new account coz I have friends and customers here. I don't want to blow my cover. Please this is real and not fiction. This will be quite lengthy, please bear with me.

I met this guy in 2013 when I was in year one. It was not a steady relationship coz we barely call nor see so I didn't take him serious. And whenever we see, it was always at one friends house or another. I accused him of being married but he vehemently denied it. Later on I figured out he had accommodation issue after he lost his job. He later rented a house when he got another job with one of our prestigious federal universities here in Nigeria and that was when things became serious (kinda).

We became very serious around 2016 that is why I count it as 5 years instead of 7. But then during one of my visits, I was sleeping in the room when I overheard him talking to someone but the only thing that caught my attention was when he said "I don't even have a girlfriend". Though I didn't confront him, but I thought about it deeply.

Two nights ago, I had a dream where he was getting married to another lady. I was crying while he was still saying he loves me but can't marry me. I confronted him yesterday, he said I am pressurizing him to marry me that was after he first asked what will happen if we don't end up together. He hasn't told me where the relationship is leading to after 5 years. We have been living for the moment. Just for the moment!

Few info about the relationship
1) He will be 40 this November while I am 27.
2. He has always had numerous girlfriends that when he's with them, he doesn't pick my calls though he always apologizes and he's trying his best this year.

3. He always send pictures of other women to his friends to let them know they are the people he wish to marry but never has he sent mine. Though he claims he's not doing it again.

4. From the look of things he's still searching while he wants to have me all to himself. Maybe a second option since the others are not accepting him and I love him foolishly.

5. The relationship is 50 -50 .We spend on each other. He believes it's the woman's duty to do all the house chores but not the man's duty to take care of the woman.

6. On his Fathers burial last year, 3 of his girlfriends came (me inclusive) and we all wore the burial uniform. Together, we served his guests even when we realized we are dating same man. His neighbors were giggling and gossiping but we all decided to be matured and work together.

7. When my sister that raised me died, he didn't come for the burial. his reason was he had supervision that day in school,same person that calls his colleague to cover for him during exam supervision so he could do other things. He also didn't send me any money but he questioned me for not giving him any money for his Father's burial. Even when I paid him excess for the burial uniform. I know why I did that. Mind you, he has asked me before if he can give one of his ex 10k during her Father's burial which I agreed and he sent her the money.

8. I have rejected some suitors who were willing to marry me coz of him. Though he has never encouraged me to accept any of them. In fact he gets angry hearing that another man is coming close to me.

9. He doesn't call often, I do more of the calling though he always return my calls. He can stay for days without calling unless I call. I know I have been the one holding the relationship coz I thought he will change.

10. Sine 2017 till last year, all I did was forgive him coz I love him. He keeps bringing new / different ladies into the picture. I have gone through a lot of emotional stress. He keeps asking me to stay that he loves me but he's confused.

His good side: He's understanding, motivates me to do my best, he doesn't hit me, he is gentle.

Me on the other hand is sometimes stubborn though very faithful coz I love him to a fault. I easily get angry but forgives easily. When I'm angry I talk so much but I don't abuse him. He is simply the cause of all my anger. He always say I am very understanding, a good girl, drama free but yet he doesn't want to marry me and won't let me go too. I have never involved a third party in our relationship except my late sister who said she wish I will walk away from the relationship because I love the guy more, that it won't end well. All my friends thinks I have a perfect relationship because I don't discuss him with them.

Back to last night, I told him I won't call him again coz he said I am pressurizing him to marry me. The truth is I have seen the hand writing on the wall, not today but two years ago but I keep going back. Please I need advice on how not to go back again. The love he proclaims for me is not enough for him to marry. I have wasted enough time already. Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.
How old are you?? 27 shocked shocked shocked
Apart from Marriage, what are your ambitions in life??
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Nobody: 9:33pm On Mar 06, 2020
Sixfeetbelle:


Stop praying for tear rubber if you're not one yourself. cheesy Let Virgins marry virgins, and non-virgins marry non-virgins
What is rubber??
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by NigeriaBam: 10:03pm On Mar 06, 2020
My sister pack your load and Go
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by omoiyalayi(m): 10:06pm On Mar 06, 2020
Hnmmmmmm

Should we add this to the numbers of problems we have in this country?
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Coronasunworshi: 10:06pm On Mar 06, 2020
Wow

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