Ineedtoheal:

Ina akogheli nno

Whatever that means!

I feel pain truely.

EliteDude:

Whatever that means!
I feel pain truely.

You are wrong, I feel great.

Ineedtoheal:

I know coz I have a man that all these years I have been dating this guy, has not given up. He says one day I will come to my senses and come to him. I even get tired of his complaints and calls. He came for my sister's burial even without me inviting him. he only saw the poster on my facebook wall. he dropped everyone that came from my village that day in town, took my mom home. he's ever ready to do anything for me. he's 31 now, a senior colleague when I was in year 1. the thing is I don't love him. maybe my problem is spiritual coz I tend to love the wrong people.

Your problem is not spiritual, your problem is “lack of sense”. You think you can fix a grown man?

If he has problems as a man, he should go meet his parents! I DON’T FIX MEN!

Have you ever seen a SANE man praying for a cheating, unsubmissive woman? Have you ever wondered why most crusades are targeted at women? Because women are obsessed with fixing FCKED MEN. You want to be the woman that made a BAD BOY good! Lmao!

They call you fish brain when it suits them, then virtuous women when they wanna activate the stockholm in you.

There are good men out there, you left them and be giving toto to one ediot. Godforbid!

If he doesn’t have money and sense, you can never find me chatting with him sef. Every man wants a woman to give him peace, respect and love. I would only do that for the best I can find. Ain’t fixing any modafucker.

Dump that bagger!

Ineedtoheal:

My own case is totally different. My upbringing, people around me are great! All my sisters married good men and they are still married. I am the last and they are all surprised why I am still single till now. My problem has always been taking that bold step. Another thing is, when I love and haven't wrap things up, I can't love another person.

from your comments its apparent you are not going to take the bold step, pls wait for him to waste you totally.you have turned yourself to his slave. imagine going for his mums burial and meeting his other girlfrnds in same uniform and u still stayed even turned to an object of ridicule.pls wait till u see the end

crackkhaus:

See question...

Free sex na!

Do you think he will spend 5years with you if he was not having sex with you? Lmao...

You young girls of this generation really thought you were wiser than your mothers and elders who advised you to close legs.
But you know nothing, most of you.

If I were your daddy, uncle, or elder bro, and you came to me with this silly pathetic story, I will first give you a resounding slap that your great-grandparents will feel from their grave, before I will pet you and counsel you.

Nonsense...

True. He doesn't want marriage but he's enjoying the benefits, why would he marry? It's best to hold off the sex but ladies nowadays give freebies anyhow, wrongly thinking it brings commitment, or marriage. You can have all the sex in the world with a man, if he will not marry you he will not. I didn't sleep with my spouse until we got married and we dated for 3 yrs. In fact when we met I told him no sex and he said no problem.

Ineedtoheal:

You are wrong, I feel great.

Yea, I am just saying how i feel about your ordeal
If you dont end up with him, the next brother would marry a fairly used product, and still be proud of you.

Irony of life, wish ladies would guide that thing more.

pocohantas:



Your problem is not spiritual, your problem is lack of sense. You think you can fix a grown man?

If he has problems as a man, he should go meet his parents! I DON’T FIX MEN!

Have you ever seen a SANE man praying for a cheating, unsubmissive woman? Have you ever wondered why most crusades are targeted at women? Because women are obsessed with fixing DEFAULT MEN. You want to be the woman that made a BAD BOY good! Lmao!

They call you fish brain when it suits them, then virtuous women when they wanna activate the stockholm in you.

There are good men out there, you left them and be giving toto to one ediot. Godforbid!

If he doesn’t have money and sense, you can never find me chatting with him sef. Every man wants a woman to give him peace, respect and love. I would only do that for the best I can find. Ain’t fixing any modafucker.

Dump that bagger!

God bless you. Its ladies like the OP that makes this thing so cheap, and one thing i dread more than any other thing is marrying a fairly usedddddddddd product. Damn....

BLEMOSEDU:
There is this question that has always been on my mind about relationships between the sexes, why do Nigerian girls think once a man is in relationship with them it must lead to marriage?
And once the relationship starts they will start counting years etc.
Must it always lead to marriage?
Can't they just enjoy the moment?
With the way divorce has skyrocketed in recent times, one wonders why these relationships are always all about marriage for most ladies.
I'm just asking ni o
Before people crucify me.

bro Godbless u

u are the only one the have good reason here

see the problem with Nigerian girls is marry me marry me infact there matter tried me

u cant see a white lady reason the way Nigerian girls reason

not all relationships that will lead to marriage Nigerians girls u need to know

Ineedtoheal:

No one says it must lead to marriage oga. why keep what you don't need? If You really don't see yourself in few years time with someone, why waste their time? did you really read all I wrote? coz if you did, you wouldn't have make this comment.
I have begged him on several occasions to end things with me if he knows we don't have a future together but he refused. Mind you, it's not just a Nigerian thing. you guys are so quick in calling Nigerian girls out.

yes it about Nigeria girls cuz u can never see a white lady reason something like this and note not all relationships that will lead to marriage

Nigerian girls too like marriage go to church u see a the girls there what are they looking for is husband God give me husband

but u can never see a white lady praying such prayers

must everybody marry rubbish marry marry na be the only tin Nigerians girls know

Ineedtoheal:

I know coz I have a man that all these years I have been dating this guy, has not given up. He says one day I will come to my senses and come to him. I even get tired of his complaints and calls. He came for my sister's burial even without me inviting him. he only saw the poster on my facebook wall. he dropped everyone that came from my village that day in town, took my mom home. he's ever ready to do anything for me. he's 31 now, a senior colleague when I was in year 1. the thing is I don't love him. maybe my problem is spiritual coz I tend to love the wrong people.

You will grow to love him. Please give him a chance!

pocohantas:



Your problem is not spiritual, your problem is lack of sense. You think you can fix a grown man?

If he has problems as a man, he should go meet his parents! I DON’T FIX MEN!

Have you ever seen a SANE man praying for a cheating, unsubmissive woman? Have you ever wondered why most crusades are targeted at women? Because women are obsessed with fixing DEFAULT MEN. You want to be the woman that made a BAD BOY good! Lmao!

They call you fish brain when it suits them, then virtuous women when they wanna activate the stockholm in you.

There are good men out there, you left them and be giving toto to one ediot. Godforbid!

If he doesn’t have money and sense, you can never find me chatting with him sef. Every man wants a woman to give him peace, respect and love. I would only do that for the best I can find. Ain’t fixing any modafucker.

Dump that bagger!

I agree with all of this

pocohantas:



Your problem is not spiritual, your problem is lack of sense. You think you can fix a grown man?

If he has problems as a man, he should go meet his parents! I DON’T FIX MEN!

Have you ever seen a SANE man praying for a cheating, unsubmissive woman? Have you ever wondered why most crusades are targeted at women? Because women are obsessed with fixing DEFAULT MEN. You want to be the woman that made a BAD BOY good! Lmao!

They call you fish brain when it suits them, then virtuous women when they wanna activate the stockholm in you.

There are good men out there, you left them and be giving toto to one ediot. Godforbid!

If he doesn’t have money and sense, you can never find me chatting with him sef. Every man wants a woman to give him peace, respect and love. I would only do that for the best I can find. Ain’t fixing any modafucker.

Dump that bagger!

I agree with all of this.

And OP, don’t let anyone deceive you into thinking you are wrong/desperate to want marriage out of a relationship.

After all, same people will call you a bitter feminist if you say you are not interested in marriage.


If you want marriage out of a relationship, you are well within your rights. What you should do is look for someone with same vision. That is where you have gotten it wrong. You are seeking marriage from the very wrong man.

Once again, DUMP THE BAGGER.

centboy123456:



yes it about Nigeria girls cuz u can never see a white lady reason something like this and note not all relationships that will lead to marriage

Nigerian girls too like marriage go to church u see a the girls there what are they looking for is husband God give me husband

but u can never see a white lady praying such prayers

must everybody marry rubbish marry marry na be the only tin Nigerians girls know

The indirect and direct insult and pressure your society gives, does the whites give it to their children? You people want to change everything overnight when you have not changed the African mentality. As if you are different from other Nigerians. What you men sometimes don't do is defining your relationship. State your intentions and don't go about deceiving people.

OceanOfJoy:
True. He doesn't want marriage but he's enjoying the benefits, why would he marry? It's best to hold off the sex but ladies nowadays give freebies anyhow, wrongly thinking it brings commitment, or marriage. You can have all the sex in the world with a man, if he will not marry you he will not. I didn't sleep with my spouse until we got married and we dated for 3 yrs. In fact when we met I told him no sex and he said no problem.

Lol... getting the milk without buying the cow.

I once attended a seminar for young people via invitation and the speaker asked the females in the audience a series of questions:

1. How many of you are in serious committed relationships? Hands went flying up
2. How many of you are sexually involved with these men you're in the relationship with? Hands went up again
3. How many of you can decide to stop having sex with him today, and be 100% certain he will stay faithful to you? This time, the hands that went up were so few. Majority had their hands half-way up (unsure), others were taking it up and down and laughing at their uncertainty - I honestly don't know what they found funny when they should have been thinking deeply.

Most ladies don't understand that when a man decides to spend the rest of his life with them and them alone, one year will even be too long before he makes certain moves.

arent88:
from your comments its apparent you are not going to take the bold step, pls wait for him to waste you totally.you have turned yourself to his slave. imagine going for his mums burial and meeting his other girlfrnds in same uniform and u still stayed even turned to an object of ridicule.pls wait till u see the end

She will never change until it's too late and she goes with a lifetime scar.
The main problem is that she has no value for herself. Such a kind of woman will make a bad wife.

A woman that allows a man treat her like a trash. There is no need advising such one.

This better be a joke.

[quote author=centboy123456 post=87213396]


bro Godbless u

u are the only one the have good reason here

see the problem with Nigerian girls is marry me marry me infact there matter tried me

u cant see a white lady reason the way Nigerian girls reason

not all relationships that will lead to marriage Nigerians girls u need to know [/quot.

djon78:


She will never change until it's too late and she goes with a lifetime scar.
The main problem is that she has no value for herself. Such a kind of woman will make a bad wife.

A woman that allows a man treat her like a trash. There is no need advising such one.

Exactly!

The problem with her type is, they won’t leave till they are scarred. When they have exhausted all the energy for relationships.

Then they will now start looking for a GOOD man who would prove to them that he is different from the modafucker she chose to spend her productive years with.

Mugu. This kinds won't make good husbands even after marriage. If they treat you like thrash during courtship, what makes you believe you'll be treated any better in maarriage



You should be celebrating not getting married to the guy you described above. My counsel to you is to remain single even if you don't get another suitor propose to you than to marry this one. Flee


Smh vigorously. How i wish i can see you small let me beat you seriously. Smh vigorously. I was too soft with you with my comments above.

You're a big full. An unrepentant shameless human being. I spit on your shamelessness. You're so shameless that your shamelessness is making me angry. How i wish you fit make mistake see me in person. I'll flog you with canes till your senses returned


When you excessively and emotionally invest in a toxic relationship, it's hard to detach. Asides your sexcapades with the muron you're entangles with , there's nothing of good worrh here. Nothing.



He has seen you finished to the extent even in your presence, he says you don't exist. And you're still there. Smh Vigorously. How i wosh you and I cna meet in person make i beat you small. Dont you have brothers to talk senses into you? You're still thinking thru your vagina or his deek game is so wonderful, it has stolen your senses.


You are a big full. You're a terrible eediot for making your parents labor to end in the hands of such a fool. I spit on your stvpidity. Have some shame, dignity, and self respect and break this nonsense.


What's worse. He is making you depend on him so you don't have the power to live your life. Emasculating you from the possibility of choices and you're pushing away people who love you because you're in love with someone who doesn't.

Continue with your stvpid adultery. Olodo

You're an eediot. I give up on you. Full

pocohantas:


Exactly!

The problem with her type is, they won’t leave till they are scarred. When they have exhausted all the energy for relationships.

Then they will now start looking for a GOOD man who would prove to them that he is different from the modafucker she chose to spend her productive years with.

Exactly
When she gave her best years to a waste of a man.
That's why I said people should stop advising her. She won't change until it's too late.

BLEMOSEDU:
There is this question that has always been on my mind about relationships between the sexes, why do Nigerian girls think once a man is in relationship with them it must lead to marriage?
And once the relationship starts they will start counting years etc.
Must it always lead to marriage?
Can't they just enjoy the moment?
With the way divorce has skyrocketed in recent times, one wonders why these relationships are always all about marriage for most ladies.
I'm just asking ni o
Before people crucify me.

I'll drop a few points, just because you asked.

1) Biological clock is always ticking for a womab, so after a year or two of relationship, a man is expected to do the needful. Nowadays, women are beginning to learn which is why they have at least 3 men at the same time.

2) Men don't appreciate knowing their girl is seeing other guys (unless you spelt it out from the beginning that this is an open relationship). They want faithfulness and loyalty, thus making a woman to believe since he's demanding this, he has marriage in mind.

3) Men are generous when in a relationship with a lady. Money, time, calls, outings, date etc. They offer such to women, even when they know they have no plans with her. When a man acts like he genuinely cares and worries about you, the marriage thoughts could seep in. I mean, you don't invest heavily in a project you plan to abandon soon, do you?

Are these points enough??

Acidosis:
To be honest, dating any man in that age group would come with many troubles. Ideally, a man of 35-40 years shouldn't be single. When you meet or fall in love with these men (which is what most women of these days prefer), you should be prepared to fight through. The solution is simple: fight through until he becomes yours through marriage (and be prepared to fight on to keep him)

The other solution is to quit. Get yourself another man and grow together. There are truly no 35-40 year old single men out there. They're always entangled with one or more women, one troublesome ex, etc etc. The decision is yours to make.

The problem with midnight newspapers

Ineedtoheal:

Maybe I forgot to add this, he said its a spiritual thing. That it didn't start with me.

Now it is obvious you are not willing to let go. Hold into him and one day, the spirits will leave. He is only manipulating you and the better you tell yourself you are better, the better for you.

EliteDude:
This kind news dey pain me...
At the end after enjoying the better part of tnis lady, some dude some where bo marry fairly usdd product.

Damn!!! Tear Leather scarce oooooooo

As though the man in question has not been turning other women to fairly used. Mtchewww.

Ineedtoheal:
Hi Famlanders, Please I need your advice. I beg you all to save a sister. I have to bring this here coz I know it's where I will get wonderful contributions. Again, I am using this new account coz I have friends and customers here. I don't want to blow my cover. Please this is real and not fiction. This will be quite lengthy, please bear with me.

I met this guy in 2013 when I was in year one. It was not a steady relationship coz we barely call nor see so I didn't take him serious. And whenever we see, it was always at one friends house or another. I accused him of being married but he vehemently denied it. Later on I figured out he had accommodation issue after he lost his job. He later rented a house when he got another job with one of our prestigious federal universities here in Nigeria and that was when things became serious (kinda).

We became very serious around 2016 that is why I count it as 5 years instead of 7. But then during one of my visits, I was sleeping in the room when I overheard him talking to someone but the only thing that caught my attention was when he said "I don't even have a girlfriend". Though I didn't confront him, but I thought about it deeply.

Two nights ago, I had a dream where he was getting married to another lady. I was crying while he was still saying he loves me but can't marry me. I confronted him yesterday, he said I am pressurizing him to marry me that was after he first asked what will happen if we don't end up together. He hasn't told me where the relationship is leading to after 5 years. We have been living for the moment. Just for the moment!

Few info about the relationship
1) He will be 40 this November while I am 27.
2. He has always had numerous girlfriends that when he's with them, he doesn't pick my calls though he always apologizes and he's trying his best this year.

3. He always send pictures of other women to his friends to let them know they are the people he wish to marry but never has he sent mine. Though he claims he's not doing it again.

4. From the look of things he's still searching while he wants to have me all to himself. Maybe a second option since the others are not accepting him and I love him foolishly.

5. The relationship is 50 -50 .We spend on each other. He believes it's the woman's duty to do all the house chores but not the man's duty to take care of the woman.

6. On his Fathers burial last year, 3 of his girlfriends came (me inclusive) and we all wore the burial uniform. Together, we served his guests even when we realized we are dating same man. His neighbors were giggling and gossiping but we all decided to be matured and work together.

7. When my sister that raised me died, he didn't come for the burial. his reason was he had supervision that day in school,same person that calls his colleague to cover for him during exam supervision so he could do other things. He also didn't send me any money but he questioned me for not giving him any money for his Father's burial. Even when I paid him excess for the burial uniform. I know why I did that. Mind you, he has asked me before if he can give one of his ex 10k during her Father's burial which I agreed and he sent her the money.

8. I have rejected some suitors who were willing to marry me coz of him. Though he has never encouraged me to accept any of them. In fact he gets angry hearing that another man is coming close to me.

9. He doesn't call often, I do more of the calling though he always return my calls. He can stay for days without calling unless I call. I know I have been the one holding the relationship coz I thought he will change.

10. Sine 2017 till last year, all I did was forgive him coz I love him. He keeps bringing new / different ladies into the picture. I have gone through a lot of emotional stress. He keeps asking me to stay that he loves me but he's confused.

His good side: He's understanding, motivates me to do my best, he doesn't hit me, he is gentle.

Me on the other hand is sometimes stubborn though very faithful coz I love him to a fault. I easily get angry but forgives easily. When I'm angry I talk so much but I don't abuse him. He is simply the cause of all my anger. He always say I am very understanding, a good girl, drama free but yet he doesn't want to marry me and won't let me go too. I have never involved a third party in our relationship except my late sister who said she wish I will walk away from the relationship because I love the guy more, that it won't end well. All my friends thinks I have a perfect relationship because I don't discuss him with them.

Back to last night, I told him I won't call him again coz he said I am pressurizing him to marry me. The truth is I have seen the hand writing on the wall, not today but two years ago but I keep going back. Please I need advice on how not to go back again. The love he proclaims for me is not enough for him to marry. I have wasted enough time already. Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.

Shut your hearts and close your legs then you will never get burnt by a man


Sadly men categorize ladies into two:
1)one out of the crowd(his one and only)
2) one like the many
That is why a man can date a girl for ten years and not feel the urge to marry her but he may propose after two months of seeing another girl.
Bring committed is not the default nature of a man,in fact by default a guy sees commitment/marriage differently from a lady,he prefers to do casual dating.
What makes a man commit to a lady is emotional attraction/ connection. Sadly,what triggers it is being a high value woman and a woman with enough feminine energy.

What men see as high value is opposite of what ladies see as high value. If you place two girls in a room and you ask a guy to pick who is most beautiful,I can swear he will likely pick the girl other ladies may not see as attractive.

Right Now it is obvious he didnt take you as his one and only and thus didnt see the need to commit. You have the option of moving on with your life(which I advice) or staying.

I advice you move on with your life.


Can I send you a PM? ,there are lots of things I will like to share with you that can be useful in subsequent relationships about men

Hmm, my sister what are you still waiting for? Please leave your shoes and japa.

Acidosis:
To be honest, dating any man in that age group would come with many troubles. Ideally, a man of 35-40 years shouldn't be single. When you meet or fall in love with these men (which is what most women of these days prefer), you should be prepared to fight through. The solution is simple: fight through until he becomes yours through marriage (and be prepared to fight on to keep him)

The other solution is to quit. Get yourself another man and grow together. There are truly no 35-40 year old single men out there. They're always entangled with one or more women, one troublesome ex, etc etc. The decision is yours to make.

Is your account hacked and hope you are well? This response of yours lacks reasoning and makes me wonder if all is well. The level of generalization you made and your conclusion is appalling to say the least. Except you are still very young, there isn't much difference between 30 and 35. Besides, age is just a number.

djon78:



Exactly
When she gave her best years to a waste of a man.
That's why I said people should stop advising her. She won't change until it's too late.

Na their way.

Ineedtoheal:

Not like he's that hot. I have been the one helping him to stay fit if not his stomach would have been so big by now.

You keep giving reasons why you can't let go. Guess you are not ready to leave him. You can continue with him maybe one day, he would reason getting married to you.