Ineedtoheal:

Ina akogheli nno

pocohantas:


Na their way. Aunty wey mumu.

Ineedtoheal:

And you are smart? You don't go about insulting people in the name of being smart. it doesn't tell good of you.

pocohantas:


Sorry babe. The aim isn’t to insult you, but then- you are not acting very smart on this. You will agree with me you are not, it isn’t spiritual at all.

Ineedtoheal:

I know coz I have a man that all these years I have been dating this guy, has not given up. He says one day I will come to my senses and come to him. I even get tired of his complaints and calls. He came for my sister's burial even without me inviting him. he only saw the poster on my facebook wall. he dropped everyone that came from my village that day in town, took my mom home. he's ever ready to do anything for me. he's 31 now, a senior colleague when I was in year 1. the thing is I don't love him. maybe my problem is spiritual coz I tend to love the wrong people.

Ineedtoheal:

Everyone has a weakness, some even have more than one. including you that claims to be smart. The fact that I am weak in one area doesn't make me dumb. I know I will break free from it so the fact I tried to fight for love doesn't make me foolish.

Ineedtoheal:

I know coz I have a man that all these years I have been dating this guy, has not given up. He says one day I will come to my senses and come to him. I even get tired of his complaints and calls. He came for my sister's burial even without me inviting him. he only saw the poster on my facebook wall. he dropped everyone that came from my village that day in town, took my mom home. he's ever ready to do anything for me. he's 31 now, a senior colleague when I was in year 1. the thing is I don't love him. maybe my problem is spiritual coz I tend to love the wrong people.

Ineedtoheal:
Hi Famlanders, Please I need your advice. I beg you all to save a sister. I have to bring this here coz I know it's where I will get wonderful contributions. Again, I am using this new account coz I have friends and customers here. I don't want to blow my cover. Please this is real and not fiction. This will be quite lengthy, please bear with me.

I met this guy in 2013 when I was in year one. It was not a steady relationship coz we barely call nor see so I didn't take him serious. And whenever we see, it was always at one friends house or another. I accused him of being married but he vehemently denied it. Later on I figured out he had accommodation issue after he lost his job. He later rented a house when he got another job with one of our prestigious federal universities here in Nigeria and that was when things became serious (kinda).

We became very serious around 2016 that is why I count it as 5 years instead of 7. But then during one of my visits, I was sleeping in the room when I overheard him talking to someone but the only thing that caught my attention was when he said "I don't even have a girlfriend". Though I didn't confront him, but I thought about it deeply.

Two nights ago, I had a dream where he was getting married to another lady. I was crying while he was still saying he loves me but can't marry me. I confronted him yesterday, he said I am pressurizing him to marry me that was after he first asked what will happen if we don't end up together. He hasn't told me where the relationship is leading to after 5 years. We have been living for the moment. Just for the moment!

Few info about the relationship
1) He will be 40 this November while I am 27.
2. He has always had numerous girlfriends that when he's with them, he doesn't pick my calls though he always apologizes and he's trying his best this year.

3. He always send pictures of other women to his friends to let them know they are the people he wish to marry but never has he sent mine. Though he claims he's not doing it again.

4. From the look of things he's still searching while he wants to have me all to himself. Maybe a second option since the others are not accepting him and I love him foolishly.

5. The relationship is 50 -50 .We spend on each other. He believes it's the woman's duty to do all the house chores but not the man's duty to take care of the woman.

6. On his Fathers burial last year, 3 of his girlfriends came (me inclusive) and we all wore the burial uniform. Together, we served his guests even when we realized we are dating same man. His neighbors were giggling and gossiping but we all decided to be matured and work together.

7. When my sister that raised me died, he didn't come for the burial. his reason was he had supervision that day in school,same person that calls his colleague to cover for him during exam supervision so he could do other things. He also didn't send me any money but he questioned me for not giving him any money for his Father's burial. Even when I paid him excess for the burial uniform. I know why I did that. Mind you, he has asked me before if he can give one of his ex 10k during her Father's burial which I agreed and he sent her the money.

8. I have rejected some suitors who were willing to marry me coz of him. Though he has never encouraged me to accept any of them. In fact he gets angry hearing that another man is coming close to me.

9. He doesn't call often, I do more of the calling though he always return my calls. He can stay for days without calling unless I call. I know I have been the one holding the relationship coz I thought he will change.

10. Sine 2017 till last year, all I did was forgive him coz I love him. He keeps bringing new / different ladies into the picture. I have gone through a lot of emotional stress. He keeps asking me to stay that he loves me but he's confused.

His good side: He's understanding, motivates me to do my best, he doesn't hit me, he is gentle.

Me on the other hand is sometimes stubborn though very faithful coz I love him to a fault. I easily get angry but forgives easily. When I'm angry I talk so much but I don't abuse him. He is simply the cause of all my anger. He always say I am very understanding, a good girl, drama free but yet he doesn't want to marry me and won't let me go too. I have never involved a third party in our relationship except my late sister who said she wish I will walk away from the relationship because I love the guy more, that it won't end well. All my friends thinks I have a perfect relationship because I don't discuss him with them.

Back to last night, I told him I won't call him again coz he said I am pressurizing him to marry me. The truth is I have seen the hand writing on the wall, not today but two years ago but I keep going back. Please I need advice on how not to go back again. The love he proclaims for me is not enough for him to marry. I have wasted enough time already. Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.

GboyegaD:


Is your account hacked and hope you are well? This response of yours lacks reasoning and makes me wonder if all is well. The level of generalization you made and your conclusion is appalling to say the least. Except you are still very young, there isn't much difference between 30 and 35. Besides, age is just a number.

healthserve:
Mugu. This kinds won't make good husbands even after marriage. If they treat you like thrash during courtship, what makes you believe you'll be treated any better in maarriage



You should be celebrating not getting married to the guy you described above. My counsel to you is to remain single even if you don't get another suitor propose to you than to marry this one. Flee


Smh vigorously. How i wish i can see you small let me beat you seriously. Smh vigorously. I was too soft with you with my comments above.

You're a big full. An unrepentant shameless human being. I spit on your shamelessness. You're so shameless that your shamelessness is making me angry. How i wish you fit make mistake see me in person. I'll flog you with canes till your senses returned


When you excessively and emotionally invest in a toxic relationship, it's hard to detach. Asides your sexcapades with the muron you're entangles with , there's nothing of good worrh here. Nothing.



He has seen you finished to the extent even in your presence, he says you don't exist. And you're still there. Smh Vigorously. How i wosh you and I cna meet in person make i beat you small. Dont you have brothers to talk senses into you? You're still thinking thru your vagina or his deek game is so wonderful, it has stolen your senses.


You are a big full. You're a terrible eediot for making your parents labor to end in the hands of such a fool. I spit on your stvpidity. Have some shame, dignity, and self respect and break this nonsense.


What's worse. He is making you depend on him so you don't have the power to live your life. Emasculating you from the possibility of choices and you're pushing away people who love you because you're in love with someone who doesn't.

Continue with your stvpid adultery. Olodo

You're an eediot. I give up on you. Full

healthserve:



You need solution. My anger has subsuided. Can you call me up for like ten minutes. I just want to share a broef which i know, and I'm sure 100% will remove you from where you are and chnage things completely.. in your relationship dept..

Ineedtoheal:

Everyone has a weakness, some even have more than one. including you that claims to be smart. The fact that I am weak in one area doesn't make me dumb. I know I will break free from it so the fact I tried to fight for love doesn't make me foolish.

Acidosis:


As far as I'm concerned bro, there are no single men of age 35 years and above. You may want to ask my definition of single to ascertain my level of reasoning. Those I consider to be single are people without any form of attachments whatsoever with the opposite sex. You can't be sleeping with someone, got one stubborn ex on your neck, or one form of bestie whom you discuss intimate stuff with, and tell me you're SINGLE. I don't know a single man of that age by my own definition.

Acidosis:


As far as I'm concerned bro, there are no single men of age 35 years and above. You may want to ask my definition of single to ascertain my level of reasoning. Those I consider to be single are people without any form of attachments whatsoever with the opposite sex. You can't be sleeping with someone, got one stubborn ex on your neck, or one form of bestie whom you discuss intimate stuff with, and tell me you're SINGLE. I don't know a single man of that age by my own definition.

Peeress:



stop typing nonsense everywhere

GboyegaD:


But there are and maybe because I have a few friends who are genuinely single, then I can be assertive with it. Remember, not everyone believes in pre-marital sex.

Ineedtoheal:

I don't talk to people with anger issues. You that threatened to beat me. In the midst of all these, I am still calm yet you are boiling like hot water.

Ineedtoheal:

And you think this made sense? Common sense indeed is not common.

Ineedtoheal:

Everyone has a weakness, some even have more than one. including you that claims to be smart. The fact that I am weak in one area doesn't make me dumb. I know I will break free from it so the fact I tried to fight for love doesn't make me foolish.

healthserve:



Yes. Cause it's like you dont like your life. Anyways. Your issues. My life's pretty much too fantastic to care about your issues. Just take care.

Ineedtoheal:

Audio fantastic lol. next time drink plenty water it helps a lot. Gracias!

healthserve:



Lol. Who's in it, Who created a thread.. Me?.. LMAO. If you wanna prove to ke you're strong, you've failed. It's to that dude you should be doing it to, not me.

Ineedtoheal:

I created a thread and you decided to show the whole world your true colours. Can't you be civilized? You can make a point while being civil too you know.

healthserve:



Syas the one living less than a dog in a loveless pitiful existence. You don't even love yourself to take good counsel. What's the purpose of this fight.. tell me. I don't even treat the househelps like your lover's treating you. Not my househelps, no workers. I feel sorry for you

Ineedtoheal:

Don't cry... you don't need to cry.

healthserve:



Na your matter. My tears would at best be hypocritical. I'm not the one to form strong for. Get your priorities right . Leave with whatever remaining sharpnels left that you and cutnyour loses short perhaps you cna trade those pieces for a little better

Ineedtoheal:

Everyone has a weakness, some even have more than one. including you that claims to be smart. The fact that I am weak in one area doesn't make me dumb. I know I will break free from it so the fact I tried to fight for love doesn't make me foolish.

GboyegaD:


Will you keep quiet? If you are this smart, you would have looked past your weakness. She was being real but I guess what you are seeking is sympathy. Appreciate her comment, pick what you need from it, and move on.

Ineedtoheal:

I wish he will let me be and not try sweet talking me into opening my heart to him again.

Sixfeetbelle:


As though the man in question has not been turning other women to fairly used. Mtchewww.