₦airaland Forum

Conductor abeg quickly give me change make I comment sharp-sharp make I nor miss first page!


[Modify]
Ehen this is what I think. Let's just say its Jonathan and his wife that caused it. That's what I think o. I am also suspecting its end time and that's why all these bad-bad things are just happening everywhere.

I put something on fire. I ll be back.

<sarcasm>

Wow. This is so informative and in fact, educative. I'm so glad it made the front page.

Lessons learned: No matter how many times you type 'Amen', your prayer won't be answered if you don't have a relationship with Jesus.

Wow. I didn't know that before now. Thank you very much for informing and educating me. It means a lot and you made my day.

</sarcasm>

<sarcasm>
This is so nice. Who knew BBA could bring such a great and internationally-renowned artiste like our super talented Tonto Dike.

Big ups to Tonto Dike. I am so happy for you. Hard work is everything.

Moral Lesson: Never give up. Give in everything in all you do. Find your passion. Follow your heart. And trust God.

I hope this bring a lot of inspiration to every talented Nigerian out there working hard out there. Tonto Dike's good news and performance on a world stage like BBA should give you the strength to continue.

I love you, Tonto! God will make you bigger.


</sarcasm>

Adiye Iya Osogbo!

Follow ifa and it shall be well with you. The problem is all these foreign religions. They are up to no good.

Have you ever wondered why no black man made it to the ark?!

Point is: the big pastors know this. Religion(or church) is just a big FRAUD.

If I begin talk now, this christians will come out with their immunity clause: Touch not. My anointed and do my prophet no harm.

I should state clearly I'm not a member of the rival religion-islam. All I know is: the entirety of the human race is on a long-thing.

Humans seriously think there is one heaven or hell waiting for them! Are you kidding me?!

Humans seriously think the entire universe was, in fact, created for their good.

And they think they are even capable of offending the creator of the universe and he will have their time to even create hell/heaven. That's so incredibly brilliant.

Let's be frank. Shame on all the pastors. All of them. They know they are defrauding these folks and yet insist. Shame on all of them.

You can always add some of the most irritating(or weirdly stupid intending to be funny) comments you ever seen by Nigerians on a social site.

For a month now, I have been a bit frequent on Nairaland and other Nigerian websites and I noticed a trend quite ridiculous. And maybe childish(or fun).

And it is: First-to-comment.

Why should anyone just hit on a thread or blog and type 'First to comment' or 'I was here, space booked' and then zoom off.

I was just reading a post on linda-ikeji and the following comments were folks fighting over first-to-comment. In fact, the entire comments on the blog post was on this and very disconnected to the original post.

Abeg o, is there any kind of reward attach to these things. I go like know o.

As always, my most favorite people on earth(i.e Nigerians) will still likely type first-to-comment, space-booked, end-time-things on this thread.

Or even someone will quote this entire post and then comment with a 'K' or full stop.

Another is very popular on facebook now, people eagerly rushing to type 'Amen' on an obviously fake prayer or testimony.

You will even posts like: I have this tape of a woman caught sleeping with her boss, type 'Yes' to have in your boss. Boom, 5000 comments of boys and girls wanting to have the tape.

When I was a kid, we parade Nigerians as some of the finest(or brightest) people but this is not reflecting in our online behaviour.

Anyone can smell a Nigerian comment on any website-foreign or local.

Ehen another one is a case of a jambite rushing to correct grammar even when its not necc. or can be ignored.

See what Goodluck Jonathan has done to my people.

P.S.: I safely put this in the Joke section. Not exactly because I'm trying to be funny or the post is funny in fact. Make nobody attack me o.

golpen: From dawahnigeria fb page...like them

Sometimes,
I want to open my Hijab,
and show the world
that I too,
Am beautiful in the people's definition.
But,
Deep down here,
in my little heart,
I know that beauty is by definition, a mystery.
And it is forever more rewarding,
to be beautiful in God's eyes.

Sometimes,
I want to wear ruffled dresses & tight jeans
show off what I really look like,
under those baggy shirts & loosely fitted pants
make a statement that I too have a figure and worth looking at.
But,
I know better,
to avoid entering the world of men's imagination,
for I love my future hubby
and I am ashamed,
what should be his, has already be unveiled by others.

Sometimes,
I want to show the world,
the other side of me,
the bubblier, bolder and crazier me,
put myself on display
for everyone to see, to be desired and admired upon.
But,
I know that eyes are not just eyes
seeing is not just seeing,
Image & Respect are gained,
Shame & Humility deserve a better place...

Copied from Abdusalam Hiqmat Kehinde
August 14, 2013

k

When will I ever be first to comment on NL?!

LagosShia: expunge the old testament from your "holy bible".

I am neither a christian nor moslem. I am a pantheist but one thing though, I find it always rather amusing when moslems are quick to defend their religion by attacking christianity or making close comparisons.

What has Mary getting pregnant at age 13 got to do with Mohammed consummating a 9yo. Did the bible endorses that Mary get pregant if at all it happens? And if it does endorse it, how does that connect to the paedophilia behaviour by the best example of mankind ever. Or what has underage marriage endorsement got to be with Vatican city homosexual crimes
? I spot a kind of fallacy here. A kind where you are trying to appeal to emotions. Its like saying yes, I'm a thief but do you know tunde is a liar. Wetin concern tunde with you being a thief.

Moslems should learn to answer the questions posed to them and challenging their religion. Leave the christians out of it. Its not like I care about them. I can start attacking those ones too, by the way. They make me sick to the stomach.
I have said this and will always say it. The greatest evil has been done to Africans. It is the evil of religion. Religion has consumed us of commonsense.

Most people I know that are incredibly smart always talk funny and stu.pid when it comes to religious matters.

It makes no sense and it will never make any sense to marry a girl who should be in school for basic education. I don't care the religion. Islam or christianity. Buddhism or Ifa.

There are few things the society demands for sanity. Girl child education is one of them. Women represents purity and sanity for every society. Every forward-thinking society needs women to be educated. We need to start respecting our women and start teaching them because they represent hope for any society. Common sense demands that. Kids learn from them first.

A society crumbles when the women in such society are uneducated. How do you reconcile a married 16yo girl to properly face her studies?

Holy Judas, your 'holy' books were written in centuries ago. It obviously adapt to the times and cultures it was written in. Bros, make we dey reason this thing now. Isn't it obvious that religion is just a trick by some men to control other men.

They know you will never confirm if heaven exist or not. Ok, let me not even start bashing the inaccuracies and the inconsistencies of religious organisations and the charlatan tendencies in the founders of religions. If you have read 48 laws of power and you are intellectually sincere and with yourself and intellectually capable of grasping the fact, you will understand why most religions had to invent the idea of heaven-and-hell and also the-devil. This post/comment is not expose these facts so I won't go further.

My point is: let's start thinking please. Thank you very much.

And then again, I know I risk having this post deleted because I may have offended the sensibility of the almighty moderator of this forum.

baba dey: I hope this not offensive ooo. Prophet mohammed (SAW) married aisha @ the age of 6 and did sometin when she was 9 while he was 54 as it is written in the quran. What do you call this?

Its called awesomeness. He is the best example of the mankind. How amazing will the world be if all 54 yo marry 6yo?!

And I have a feeling this post will deleted.

Metallurgist: @berem u should have ask ur pastors or father at what age marry the mother of jesus got pregnant with jesus? At eleven years old and her pregnancy was a normal like normal women, and she marry a carpenter of over a 100 yrs old at 13yrs and girls marrying at 11 t0 17 yrs old is normal in those xtain era up to 1800 A.D just because the west say 18 its does nt means god word or could u show me in the bible where it says a girl has to be 18 to get married, and yea it does concern xtainity

People like you make me lose hope in humanity. Its over.

I should write in Lagos. I haven't heard from them yet o.

I called a friend too. He should write in Lagos. He's not heard from them as well.

Anyone for the Lagos test, please?!

Do you mean you have written the test already? I thought the test was on saturday. I haven't gotten any mail yet though.

Have you gotten a mail for the 2013 test.

If you have written the test, what was the test format?!

Hi Everyone,

This post is directed to anyone who has written the NNPC/EPNL International Postgraduate Scholarship or preparing for this year's.

The test is conducted by Dragnet and it can assumed to be another aptitude test.

It is, however, said in the scholarship website that we should prepare for a skill test.

I write this to seek advice from previous years scholars and waiting scholars as well on how to prepare for this test when/if shortlisted.


Thank you in advance.

P.S.: I will appreciate if this post can make the front page even if its just for a day.

supaeagles: while that is true, if we don't support out talented artists then who else will?

Dettol :/

ajanaku2: Her Mouth seems to be specifically modified for fellat!o!

Her Mouth be like wetin dem design for blowjobs...

Enu re dabi oun ti won seda fun Oko lila!

English, Pidgin then Yoruba.

I will recommend some of paul graham essays.

Its on www.paulgraham.com/articles.html

You can also try to get 'Hackers and Painters' by PG. PG runs YCombinator in SF and he has useful advice to any fresher starting out in startups and entrepreneurship.

This is my take. Entrepreneurship is not a career path or a job choice. It is not something you do because your friends are in it or because of the fame and fortune the 'successful' ones make.

Entrepreneurship can really be rewarding. You learn so much in a very little time more than in any endeavour. At the same time, it can really be humiliating and the most painful period of your life. Entrepreneurship is a calling. Forget Seun. Forget Zuckerberg. These guys cried at the start of building their companies.

These days its quite easier than ever to build or start companies. Tools and resources are available everywhere.

Google some of the following people:
Steve Blank
Sam Altman
Fred Wilson
Eric Ries
Jason Fried of 37signals

I can freely help you with some books I read too. I am biased to internet/tech startups/ventures though.

akindolu@gmail.com

I wish you good luck most of all. Every one at some point got lucky. They all hate it admit because it makes them seem less heroic.

Have fun.

P.S.: Don't start a company because you just want to have a CEO tag to your name or you just want to be able to tell your friends you have a company.

Matter of fact, ladies don't like 'starting entrepreneurs' so you won't get a date telling a girl who expects you to be with exxon mobil that you are building a company. You will be risking sounding like a pathetic dreamer.

Point is: do this for the right reasons.

max1113: My broda thk u hv jus spoken my mind. Nagode

How about eckists, sango worshippers, atheists, pantheists, holy grail and ifa folks? Are we going to have camps for those too?

I have a lot of friends who belong to some of these unpopular religions. Point is: these idiots should know understand the meaning of secular state and how it operates.

No-body in a secular states should a give a care about your religious affiliation. Its your business what you want to believe. That's enough.

If you don't like to serve, stay at home. Your arab god will reward you with a well-paid job in paradise.

I don't blame them. I blame our political ignoramuses who will rather with the religious brain to tender judgements to the mostly gullible nigerians. Last time, it was the homosexual ban on the basis of religious commonsense as if we all belong to the same religion.

The problem is: we have too many idiots in Nigeria that allowed to vote and privileged to make decisions for the rest of us.

Blame it on GEJ.

emmanuel4758: anoda funny tin hapen right now in pretoria s.a i ask girl whats ur name sweety?am fine.i now ask her wats ur name? she told me nkechi.wow ur name sound Hot ? Thank u.i den told her my fada senior mandela and her beauty just draw my attention and i need a through s.a frnd ?she ask me wy.i told her my fada told us never to date any person who is nt s.a origin?she smile and told me nice one dat she even hate oda country especialy, nigeria,ghana ,and oda west african country.lol i smile a little and leta ask her nkechi but where ar u frm?she said am frm johenesburg and my moda is frm pretoria .lol i den burst out laughin .i just wonda nkechi igbo girl claim to be frm johenesburg becose she don c mandela grandson but she dnt know i be igbo boi lol ;Danoda funny tin hapen right now in pretoria s.a i ask girl whats ur name sweety?am fine.i now ask her wats ur name? she told me nkechi.wow ur name sound Hot ? Thank u.i den told her my fada senior mandela and her beauty just draw my attention and i need a through s.a frnd ?she ask me wy.i told her my fada told us never to date any person who is nt s.a origin?she smile and told me nice one dat she even hate oda country especialy, nigeria,ghana ,and oda west african country.lol i smile a little and leta ask her nkechi but where ar u frm?she said am frm johenesburg and my moda is frm pretoria .lol i den burst out laughin .i just wonda nkechi igbo girl claim to be frm johenesburg becose she don c mandela grandson but she dnt know i be igbo boi lol

So we are clear, I am sure everyone knows this is a lie, right?

berem: wetin come be her Muslim name?

Alhaja Chichinatu?

SMFDH!!

This is one of the funniest comment I have read on NL. EVER.

Hadeyur: I've bin waiting 4 ages 4 dis topic, we've bin 2geda 4 10 yrs wiv a 3yr old daughter, buh he's still not proposing, fine! I knw his parents and he knws mine. He's still not making any plans Tired of d whole thing buh I'm so scared 2 walk away.
. Dnt knw wat 2 do

Chances are, he is assuming you are married already minding you have a daughter together already. Its even worse if you are living together. Cohabiting is not marriage. However, its very common here.

Space taken. I hope I am still on page 1.

mobuch: Why waste such money on such vanity?
Stupidity in action.
Building a befitting mausolum for himself wont cost half of that.
Anyway, am not surprised, his wealth was gotten without stress.

What are you waiting for? Become a billionaire without stress too na.

Space booked.
Contact me if interested.

I am aware the test will be skill based. Any idea of the test structure, please?

A note from past test takers will be appreciated.

I read Electrical Engineering. Apparently, it won't be my specialisation since I didn't state this in the application.
Thanks.

Hi everyone.

The company I work for is doing some work around event venues. Please I will like to have the information. Addresses and telephone numbers of event venue operators in Lagos.

So if you are an event venue operator or have any information.

Kindly post it below:
Thank you very much.
Regards.

You can also contact me on 08035297899
BB: 2A07DA1C

Hi,

I work for Orange Experiment, LLC, the maker of Becky! Its an event aggregation tool directed at the productivity and agility of stakeholders in the event industry basically. We are currently setting up a working partnership with event promoters.

There is a direct monetary benefit to the partnership which is why we think its great.

For more information:

W: www.getbecky.com
T: 08035297899
TWT: @twtbecky.com
BB: 2A07DA1C

Thank you very much.
Sola.

thorpido: I find it really amusing the way Nairaland changes words sometimes.

Now tell me what is Bottom-enal?

I think he meant to type Arsenal but instead typed A.ssenal then NL changed A.s.s to Bottom.

I had to modify this again because oga at he top-Seun Osewa with his .py scripts changed my word to 'behind'.