i'd like to write as well. my email addy is coolnubian23@yahoo.com and my no is 08051428255

i think you did a pretty good job of rising from d initial point to the "climax" of sorts. anyway,it's a very good piece and u really got my attention while readng d story, wanna read more.
really don't have anything 2 criticise but i think u shld check d development of the story to see that as ur developing d story,the characters are developing as well, .there was a good description of d events but i suggest dat the xter's feelings shldn;t be left 2 much in d backgrd, know what i mean

again and again
my thoughts stray to you
but i'm scared of pain
of loving you

see the thoughts of my mind
many are of you
am i in love ?
oh no,not me too

i'd rather be the observer
the one who gives advice
don't want my feelings
to be on the line

dare i put my dreams
in your two palms
if i give you my heart
would you break it in half?

no! too big a risk
i'll ignore the ache
to love and be loved
again and again

what do you thnk?

u can add your version

i'm I to da Nterested.my email is coolnubian23@yahoo.com.

i like it. it held my attention.Good description and flow of storyline. "Exquisite" lol

c'mon eslynera give d talent some credit will ya .d world's best poems wre written by ppl too u know

nice,sad ,rhymy are u happy npw?

i like ur poem a lot.it's full of emotion and very real.But hey u could try writing in poem format instead of in paragraghs.keep it up

pls i also want to write but i have no idea on how to develop an intricate plot well.do i have to practise a lot ? anyway i also want to write for mags,advertsand all that
pls help