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The Bully's Ball By Aniekan Andikan

The neighborhood bully was not someone you could mess with and the small, scrawny, eight year old boy that went by the name Kpokios knew this even before he was born. Kpokios feared the neighborhood bully but he loved his ball. His best time of the day was when the bully brought his ball, when other young boys from his street came together to play Monkey Post.
One day, as they were playing the monkey post, the bully was called away. He wanted to leave with his ball but Kpokios and the other boys begged him to allow them continue the game. That the game was making so much sense.
“This ball is in your care.” The bully said to Kpokios after considering for a while.
The bully left, the game continued. Twenty minutes on, one of the boys kicked the ball and knocked down the crayfish tray that was on a stool drying in the sun. Kpokios’ grandmother seized the ball after chasing the alien boys from the compound.
The game was over.
Kpokios was worried about what his grandma was going to do to the ball which was in his care. He regretted ever asking to keep the ball. That evening, he swept everywhere, washed everything, fetched water and cleaned the house. He did everything in a bid to appease his grandmother.
In the night, before they went to bed.
“Mama, please don’t be annoyed. Where is the ball?” Kpokios asked his grandmother and waited.
No response. His grandmother was keeping malice with him.
“Please Mama, we are sorry for spilling the crayfish in the sand. I am not the owner of the ball. The owner put the ball–”
“Don’t disturb me child! I put your stupid ball inside the latrine. Tell the owner to go and get it from there.”
That night Kpokios did not sleep well.
Kpokios woke up early, it was his week to clean the toilet. He went to clean it at the first sign of light. The toilet was a pit one with a concrete slab over the pit. The slab had a rectangular hole in the center where the business went through into the pit. A little house was constructed with rusted zinc over it and it was given a wooden door with a padlock outside and a bolt inside. He took his time to clean it well because he had plans.
He went and carried his grandmother’s torchlight back to the toilet, bolted himself in, switched on the torchlight and pointed the white beam through the rectangular hole. From where he was there was no sign of the ball, all he saw was a shimmering reflection of white light way down towards the bottom of the pit. I have to go inside for further inspection he thought. He measured the rectangular mouth of the hole with his eyes. He knew his scrawny little body could pass through without much stress.
He sat down on the toilet floor letting his leg dangle through the hole, he could feel the warm mist rising from the pit. He put the torch – still on – in his mouth and let himself slowly through the mouth of the toilet, legs first. When his waist had cleared...

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The last time you kissed your wife was the day before yesterday afternoon when the priest had said 'Now you may kiss the bride'. Since then, you have jumped out of a three story building, rescued a baby, killed a man and saved the Governor but the closest your lips had been to your wife's had been 2 inches.
It was the best day of your life, you were finally going to marry the love of your life. Every thing had gone well except maybe for the fact that your best friend and best man's phone fell and broke just when you were about to exchange rings with your wife.
Other than that, everything went well and before you guys knew it, you were back in your hotel room with your wife for your honeymoon which was just for the weekend due to the nature of your work.
You just got a new wife, you were not in a hurry to consummate. So, you took your time. You didn't make any move until she asked you to help her unzip her wedding dress. You unzipped it from the back of her neck all the way to her protruding buttocks. What a long zip! You thought.
You did not go back to your place, you stood behind her. Then she turned, two sets of eyes locked. She pursed her lips, you lubricated yours. The space in between dissolved slowly. Just when both set of lips were about to lock you heard the beep.
That was the special phone. You only get beeps in the special phone when it was an emergency and it was a standard law to not allow it beep more than 3 times. You thought about stealing a quick kiss before you answer the annoying phone but it beeped again.
You had to run across the room to get the phone just on the third beep. You reluctantly put it to your ear.
'What dance?' You said sharply, without joy.
That was the code to let the caller know that he was talking to the right person. You then listened to the instructions for your assignment. The caller did not fail to tell you that as he was talking to you, you were already late and the Governor’s life was at stake.
After the call, you looked at the door and then glanced at your wife; she was still struggling to get out of her wedding gown. You chose...

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