₦airaland Forum

Adah96:
don't know of any ...

OK tenks
Blueto is in d room,baba blue baba blue
*continues hailing* baba blue baba blue
Umm sorry ada am coming



Baba blue baba blue./!!!!!;;

Otibho80:
but u said d story is a fiction na,so just form something and add it cos d story didn't end well e.g funmi reports u 2 her elder broda(dats if she has one) and her elder broda in turn treats ur fuckup 4 messing around with his sister.

Thank God u just help me to complete it
Thanks

Ray360:
ahahha... Jack! which kind of weed you pipe this morning,? Ajegunle weed or lekki weed? Ajegunle weed dey turn brain for 3days

Chai u no wan teach me shey.... I go tell my mom

Adah96:
yea ...exactly ..that's y I asked...

Wat course accept d7 in math under social science in uniben

Ray360:
Impress who? hahaha.. see this my oga. Who you wan impress? just do your thing. . Seek to impact rather than impress. the former is a nobly Tiara, the latter Depicts juvenility.

Hey rey, u are loquacious plz try to be tacturn


Am going to pull ur leg till u teach me,plz reply in big big grammars

CreekReporter:
Na lie abeg. Na true life story

Funny no be true life story

Otibho80:
so u broke funmi's hrt?haba its not fair.Abeg continue d story jare.

What do you want me to write again

Ijehk7:
kontinu o..i dey gbadun u

I don finish d story na
Me i no like long tinz oooo

CreekReporter:
now I'm crying because of fummi.

Hey the story na fiction oo with fictious character
I don't even know who is funmi

I went to a rendezvous point where I think funmi would be but unfortunately I can't find her there but I saw some of her friends ...on seeing me they started hailing me *Jake the father (unto say I no gree get gf) * I just laughed it out

Umm please am looking for funmi,they were surprised* Jake you meant you want to see femi she is at home she just left,hope itz not what we are thinking
I laughed,no it not what you gurlz are thinking i just came to tell her somtin
One of the girls answered * okay we bliv you,go and check her at home*as I was about to leave they continued hailing ( Jake the father,Jake the father*Catholic fathers don't born nor have gf that is why they calls me that ) .....
On getting to funmi's house I met her parents leaving for an occasion mybe they want to go to one village meeting,,who knows?,I greeted them the way a true Lagos boy greet they answered in unison *Jake pele,how is ur mom* she is fine ma ...I asked hope funmi is at home ,her mum answered yes go inside she is in the parlour watching films,as you can see we are going for Felicia wedding ceremony* I responded okay ma,lemme go and meet funmi in the house
P.s almost every parent in my neighborhood likes me and also trust me.....they are all aware of the Jake the father propaganda, so they have 100% trust in me

I went inside and saw funmi watching a classical movie (robinhood) when she saw me she was surprised coz this will be the first time of me speaking to her,
Hey funmi xup,she responded Jake am cool oo,I move forward to her and started staring at her eyes,she was not comfortable so she asked Jake why are you looking at me like this.. I responded funmi hope your boyfriend is taking care of you well ,coz there are snatchers out there that may snatch take her especially me ...
She was more than surprised by what she just heard, coz she never think Jake the father can says that..... She just looked at me and when she don't knows what to say she ushered me to sit

Thanks funmi I thought you don't want me to seat down,she said " no oo Jake so hows your gf" I told her "actually I don't have a gf now besides that is why am here" she laughed "Jake I don't know you can talk like this oo''

Hey Peepz the story is getting too long and there is a traffic jam occurring in my head now.
Lemme just summarised wht happeb

After some month she accept me got possessive,, everybody was wondering. ....in the long run I broke her heart

I think that is worth a slap coz I never liked her in the first place ....itz not as if I left her for another girl,I just did somtin unimaginable
I drew a time table for she to be meeting me,I wrote like20 rules for her .....I told her when she sees me with my friend she should not be possessive about,I did some unimaginable things that I later regret........





Thanks for reading my amateur short story
By jake

Lemme post this
There Is dis certain girl in my neighborhood,she is umm beautiful and kind of claim big gurlz class sha
And am also the type of guy that don't interact with people so much especially girls, some says am shy some says am a snake in a green grass.....

Many guys around the hood had gone to toast the girl which the girl usually replies them with slap or abuse
I always heard about her slapping spree,sometimes I do made jest of those guys she slapt
On a certain evening,the wind was cool and friendly,I was in the house replying some post on nairaland,my brother just rushes into the house and went into his room immediately I knows somtin was wrong,I entered his room and ask him "egbon,hope no p dis one wey u rush enter house so hope nothing happen" b4 I knew it Gboaaaa a heavy slap landed on my face I was trying to know the reason for his action he just pushed me back and closes his door.....
I don't think I can stay in that same roof with him coz I may do more damage so I went outside,I saw one of my friend seyi*whatsup seyi wetin dey happen na * he responded *Jake me just dey oo,u neva hear wetin happen,funmi dash it brother slap*
That's it,so funmi indirectly gave me a hot and resounsing slap ,I will be right back like karma ,actually I never gave a damn about her beauty but for she to hammer my brother slap which I received indirectly I will return the favour to her.
I left seyi and entered back info the house,I saw my brother he was trying to apologise but I just went into my room change into a different cloth,wore my silver wristwatch,dust my gucci slippers(Pam)and storm outside

Am on a mission,find funmi and return the favours in a more civilised way




If you want me to continue just type Continue ....I don't want to write a boring fictious story
Am a comm stud but just have some likings for writing so am sorry for the wrong grammers or ko
typos
Criticism is allowed

Ray360:
hahahahahhahah... you just dey whine me.. GrammAr no dey bring money o..

But e dey impress someone

Ijehk7:
She Broke up with me, i apologised
because i loved her. she agreed.we came
back together. i caught her cheating.i
threw her out. She insulted the poo out of
me. She blocks me on whatsapp after a
while unblocks talks poo and blocks
again. after a while i decided to block her.
she sends love messages, followed by
hateful messages, then love messages. i
mean this chick is crazy.

She is funny

Ray360:
hahahahahah... you go wound me o. BLUETO is the grammatical oar that Mans Such League. He lords me. go ask am..

Hmmmmmmm. Ray I can see your hands up in the air in a futile effort not to teach me those big grammars
You must teach me
I parted my lips in bold grin to salivate creek matrix jollof rice in the future

Ray360:
What a gift . Will you teach me this enchanting art of tailoring words?

Shut up....that is when you will say *may I know where you live*
And again. Those your big grammars plz I already told you to come and teach meme

Hellos o think uniben had finished their almost one month of conducting the cbt putme exam
Success to you all in advance,I can see you Peepz wearing that great uniben matriculation gown....o swear you Peepz looks wonderful in it
Meet you on the beaches of life,there we will be able to raise our cups up as kings and queens that .made it to the top


MY GRADUATION SPEECH
Life is an express way,overtaking is allowed .if you CAN do it I can fucking do it better.... Signs out.
*throws away the mic*

CreekReporter:
sweerat I missed u

*breaks a vodka bottle on his/head*

CreekReporter:
robin will fight for me

U mean the same robinhood

Viril:
hello, sorry for the interruption, I'm sorta new here.. any Nursing science aspirant with aggregate of 60% and above?

Dem plenty

lordkvng:
Alright. thanks....

ever heard that joke about Google being a woman, Cuz before u finish typing something she adds her own and gives you options..

Yep ........don't mind her

lordkvng:
mp3 is equivalent to music, Hope you know?

d files you listen to is in mp3 format

If u wanna ask Google question
Do it in the layman's way

Alien wetin u dey view ...don't you wanna chat

lordkvng:
soldier come soldier go mp3


do you know Who sang d song?

Let me laugh in numerals
LXIIIVVVXMDCCCDIIX


EVEN GOOGLE WOULD LAUGH
SEARCH
SOLDIERS GO COME MUSIC

FuhckYhu:

ßaby stop forming.
I just wantd to say hi.


#later swthrt.

Yeee
Visa to elewe eran

lordkvng:
I don't think That's d name, I tried it on Google, showed me something else

Watz dat....wat word do you use?

CreekReporter:
hi sweeire

I covered my anis with the blood of the true lamb
14 years 4 kirikiri ..dem go think say u old pass Methuselah

FuhckYhu:

ßabyboy, hw can i help yhu...

Who be baby boy,baby girl who are you referring to

lordkvng:
been trying to download this song, I heard it in a Nigerian film, the lyrics were "soldier come soldier go........ " I think That's d chorus, if you know it kindly tell me d name.


cc adah96

That is d name

lordkvng:
GOD will help us.

Amen ooo

FuhckYhu:

hunie, av u eva heard of social science...

Dis one wey una dey call honey so...which one will b my own honey if you don't want me to make a storm over a tea cup

lordkvng:
lol if I see my name on admission list, Na celebration remain .... u sef dey call Am father Abraham.. Lmao..

d name fit Am well...

Godwin10 u need to settle me o, I gave u this Nice nickname

Funny

lordkvng:
bro.. Ionno Mehn I've seen higher scores, engineering in general.. all I saw were within 40-70. So Ionno Am just keeping my options open.

Owk...but if u talk so wetin me wey get 59 for bus admin go do