Hello my friend,
I will like to congratulate you for listening to your mum. Yes, the lady may not be your choice but your mummy knows why she picked her for you. Please reset your mindset about her. Love her, show her love. Behind her to your taste. Look for her strenght. I am sure you will appreciate your mum in the years to come.
I wish you all the best.

Sorry about your predicament. Yorubas will say Oja okunkun ni igbeyawo. It means marriage is a hidden market. If you leave him, whaat are you falling back on............now no job...........since there is no physical abuse, you can be catering for you and your kids till things improve. Keep praying for him............God can do all things......It is well........

Prettycute90:
Since we got married, everything about the upkeep, rents, bills, feeding, general upkeep. I mean everything is on me and he has refused to provide for us as he always claimed he doesn't have. I have always be an understanding person who believe, I should be doing while I can, pending when things gets better for him.
I never knew he was getting little little, but was gambling away with it.

We really do not date for a long time before we got married. Because I knew him back then in school from a far distance. And we liked each other but didn't date. So, meeting again after graduation and in a different environment, made me believe I already knew and the fact that we already liked each other.

He was struggling with a little job when we got married. My foresight then was to grow with him. I supported him in all ways. Infact, during our wedding, most support came from friends and relatives.
Because I'm not the type of a wife that pressurized, It took me a very long time to know the nature of habit he had that has kept him low even before I married him.

He is a chronic gambler.
No money stays with him. He wouldn't even care about himself so long as he can afford little money to gamble.
Now, I don't have a job and too much burden has crippled my business.

To be honest, I'm losing myself. Sometimes I feel I need a therapy myself.
My husband has refused to change or make effort to make this marriage work.
Before I had my second child, he was pretending as if he has changed. But immediately I took in, he continues this lifestyle. I almost died due to emotional breakdown and responsibilities shouldered by myself.

I have done everything, (both family members have adviced him severally, I have prayed, fasted, cried, shouted, talked with a calm voice, all my efforts. but non is working.


Presently, since two weeks ago now, I don't cook for him. I source for food for just myself and my children. We barely have decent conversation in this house. I can't even remember the last time we had intimacy.
I always avoid him, each time he tries to get close. Because of the situation of things in this house.
We had two children and I don't intend having any other.
The cost of taking care of myself and the children all by myself is emotional hurting me so much.
School has resume and I can't even afford all the expenses of taking my first son to start a new school and I know, he would watch our son stay back at home. He wouldn't care.

We're in the house, but he's only concern is how to get little money to gambles.

Are these not enough reasons to divorce him?
During one qurrel we had recently, I told him I want us to separate for now, so we can work on ourselves, and he said he will be with our children not me.
I see that as way to make my children suffers.

What can you advise please?

I just want peace of mind.

I don't want to waste my youthful life in a loveless marriage. Where myself and my husband can not support each other to grow in Love. Rather, stressing me.

I travelled to the UK.

Switinthemiddle:
Happy sunday y'all, so i have this issue bothering me that i need advice on.

So me and this my guy have known for some years now and i know him as someone who has a flaw for anything under skirts.

It didnt bother me all these while cause i am nt one to judge until recently when i found out from my girlfriend that he was codedly wooing my junior sister and they just started dating.

Now the problem is i dnt knw if i should warn my sister about him and try and put a stop to the relationship or just try and give him and her a chance.

Please advice

Why won't you warn your sister! When the wahala happens, you will be involved. Please warn your sister to desist from such relationship. You are a bad brother if you don't wsrn her. Thank you.