₦airaland Forum

kandiikane: ^i do not think it is barbaric if it is the person's choice to do it.

@jallowbah, I don't know what marks you mean but I've never seen anyone with marks outside the tattooed area unless if that too was tattooed. If it's henna then that will stain but will come off after a while. It's not permanent.

Regarding the body parts rituals, it is done by outsiders in Gambia. Usually nigerians, people from casamance and I think people from niger or something. I remembered as a kid being warned about the jalang fyelers around the harmattan season(I think). You wrote exactly what I wrote regarding the common practice of 'voodoo'(which is not the right name to call it because they do not practice the things associated with it). The cowrie throwers which are the most common form of spiritualism in Gambia are called curung fyelers which is different to the jalang fyelers(the juju people aka ritualists)

I have seen people with pure scar-marking, and tats as well. All cultural beauty in my eyes But I do wish they would let the kids choose, instead of doing it on them when they are young..

And no, there are gambians who take part in the juju-rituals with bodyparts. Not hunting down albinos or anything like that, but if f.ex a woman have problem getting pregnant, wel...a life for a life, is what they used to say. But again, it is not very wide-spread, at all. Very rare, or at least very, very hidden.

Curun fyelers..never heard of it, which language is that in? In my husbands language, they call the man who practice it marabout. And, they also go to the alkale, the head of the village, since they often have much wisdom in juju, and with Islam. They mix it all together..they say that a marabout is nothing without the holy lyrics.

all4naija: Then, you must have to look for a superstar who will put it on first for it to go global and be seen as something not primitive. As for me, I think it is still a barbaric practice to have your gum and inside mouth tattooed in such a horrible way.

I see that you mean that, but WHY is it barbaric? What is it that makes it so barbaric for you?

all4naija: Lol @... in the bush,you mean? I think location connotes a particular place or position. And, it is synonymous with part,spot,etc.

The sight is not good-looking.I will not allow my GF to go for such.

Must it be judged on white-man's acceptance or practice?

Of course not. But the comment was made as if the inside of the mouth was any more bad than anywhere else on the body; as if it made it worse, which it doesn`t.

victorian: Although am still a newbie...but he is so humble, easygoing and playful at home.. Charismatic and professional at work ... Dress sense? On point ....and a perfect cook

My husband cook better food than his own mama. Haha!

kandiikane: It doesn't leave a dark mark around the mouth unless you tattoo the mouth also which many fulani and toucouleurs women do.

It actually looks very nice when you see it in real life. When a woman with a tattooed gum smiles.

@Majority of girls choose to do it because it makes ones smile nicer. The same way you have your tattoos(your choice) it's the same way they tattoo their gums.

Yes, it does leave a mark for some, it depends on the mix you use, and how long time it takes for you to finish the mouth. Some use strong henna, which is supposed to go away but sometimes don`t, for tattooing.

It looks absolutely beautiful.
Some of our family in Gambia have the chin, and on the side of the eyes, and a stripe in the fore-head, and some friends of the family have this one for the mouth. It is stunning.

In my husbands small village far in the bush, they stopped the mouth-tattoo after a woman died not long after getting the tattoo. They don`t know if it was because of infection or not, but they did not wish to take the chance anymore. You still see many women with it, though, but most of them are over 35-40 years old. I do wish they would keep these beauty-traditions, that goes for tribal-marks as well, but I do feel like many of the cultures should let the kids choose theirself at a certain age..

And about the voodoo-thing..even in Senegal and Gambia they have juju that involves sacrificing of people. It is rarely used, or talked about out loud, but it still happens. People "disappear" in the bush, or get kidnapped. But, as I have heard, it is a very, very low percentage on that one.
They mainly use juju for protection, and the marabout is often known for looking in the future and past, and as a guide and a man to go to for advice.

all4naija: What about the location? Huh!

https://25.media.tumblr.com/Hc2oe5qBdphr92ezWSdmSXHeo1_500.jpg

..in the bush, you mean?
Or, inside the mouth?

Never seen a white man tattoo things inside the mouth? I have seen many..

The world have been using herbal medicine for many, many, many years.
Some of it work, some of it don`t work. Everyones body is different, and reacts different to treatment. But that also goes for the "new" medications.

I always try to use old-medicines and tips, before resorting to f.ex antibiotics, or things bought in the pharmacy.
I actually loved that about Gambia..they would always try herb-things with me at first, even in the pharmacy the doctor would give us tips, before giving out pills.

People seem to become more and more aware of the natural things, and eating more organic, making things from start, instead of buying everything full/half-made. And that is a damn good thing.

I do believe that many western people are opening the eyes more for this now, than before. They try the natural ways more and more before going to a doctor. They seek homeopaths ( I do believe that is the right word for a "doc" who treats the patients mainly with old medicine and tips.. ) instead of a hospital, for many things; head-ache, migrene, anxiety, stress, giving birth, etc, etc.

The price, however, tend to be more expensive in the EU-countries on old medicine, compared to new. Unless you have your own garden, of course..

all4naija: You can check for information on both practices for yourself. The process and location of the tattoo explain the differences to some extent.

Many people, all over the world, use what is called "Stick n poke", which is the traditional way of tattooing. Not all artist of tattooing use a machine. So, maybe it is YOU who need to check on information..

[quote author=Mynd_44]He is asking her to suddenly change to please him which IMO is wrong. Was he blind during courtship?

Abeg make we talk true jorh. He is thinking of himself and not his wife which makes him selfish. [/quote

We do not know if she used to dress up more ( or, dress "off" more ) earlier in the marriage..OP might be able to answer that one. If she did, I understand him completely. If not, I understand why she reacts.
At the same time, people grow and change all their life. This does not mean there is something wrong with him, or that he wishes to cheat, like some have said. He just wish to see his wife more hot around the house.

And, as for visitors suddenly coming by..I guess it depends where you live. Where I was born, you never know if someone suddenly ring your doorbell. In the capital, no-one EVER does that.

I see this just now..lol.

- He fights for me, if needed
- He stands up for what he believes in
- He is not afraid to compromise
- He tries to be a better person for me, as I try for him
- He makes me smile and laugh like no other person
- He take care of his family, both here, and in Africa
- He is a rudeboy in the street, and a husband in the house ...

I loves him. Truly. No other man can put a ring pon my finger.

First; Mrs Mansson, I am so sorry..I can not even imagine the pain and anger I would have felt if someone put their hands on my child.

Second: I am agreeing with ayandee here. When our girl was 9months, I had one of my best friends help out. She and my husband took turns on having her, and when she was about 1 year and 5months, she started kindergarden. I choosed a SMALL kindergarden, there is 5 people at work at all times, sometimes six, and 20-25 kids, from 8months up to 6 years.
I am very happy with my choice..all the kids know each other, help each other, the grown up interacts with the kids much as well.

If the worst thing a husband might ask you to do, is to dress in what he consider hot, inside the house..you are a lucky woman

I understand the point that Mynd is coming with as well. But still, it is inside their house, only for his eyes. Many women forget to show their.."se*iness" to their men after some years, I forgot it myself after having a baby. He had to remind me.. what pleases a wife more than to see her husband happy..?

Some people grow up early, others late.

I got married at 23, and I do intend to only have one husband in my life.

Writing to another woman sweedy, I love you, etc, than your own girl..? To me, that is cheating. Not physical, but still. Anything you can not do in front of your spouses eyes; DON`T DO IT!
How would you feel if it was the other way around?

Damn, I would probably leave the house the same night if I was her. You got much work to do. And you should continue your contact with this girl..save your energy for your girlfriend, dude.

all4naija: Seriously, I doubt if you know what culture really means. I see it as collective achievement in different human endeavours. Most of us failed to understand culture evolves. It is the simple reason why the way we live today is different from our forefathers. Surprisingly, you are failing to see that in this present generation. It is a big shame on your side. However, I am not against culture but when we begin to see some barbaric practices as something worth emulating then I feel to disagree.

keep fooling yourself to think it is all culture to embrace everything in the past that is primitively irritating.

But how is this any worse than all the tattooing many peple are doing all over their body..?

sweet_gala: As mentioned above it is part of tradition it's rather odds that a western way of viewing African acts as uncivilized has taken prevalence in many Nigerians.
The practice as explained takes its roots from tradition, advantages are stated to include suppression of odours, teeth whitening and healthier gums that bleed less.
Same goes for tribal marks once accepted as important facial beautification and clan signifier now seen as inhumane scaring.

I am thinking the same.

How is this different from the fact that many, even in Nigeria, still do tribal-marks?
Why is this so bad?

This is something the women also can CHOOSE to do, it is not a custom to do so anymore. Same with tribal-marks or tattoos on the chin, cheeks, side of the eye, and forehead.

Many fulani in Gambia do this as well.

I know some people who TRIED to do it. Lol. The backed out after 3-4 stings with the needle
I also know some people who did this when they were around 14 years..it also makes a dark mark around the mouth for many of the girls.
This is no worse than tribal-marks getting cut into the face or the body, people.